I am very very sorry for the extremely late update…

Chapter 32. Searching the problems

Mukuro actually didn't know what to do. He tried talking to his daughter for almost an hour telling her she did nothing wrong and there is a misunderstanding between her and Chrome. But it didn't seemed to work at all. His daughter, Nagi didn't seemed like listening nor understands what he was saying. She was just timidly sitting still with her head down, refusing to make any eye contact. She would flinch and show fear whenever Mukuro try to touch her, although he just wanted to stroke her head to comfort her. Mukuro had no choice but to stop his hand in the middle of the air before he could touch her.

Mukuro let out a long sigh. He knew it wasn't going to be easy but it seemed like it was going to be more difficult than he expected. How long will this take for her to finally listen to him? His frustration made him feel the urge to just grab her chin and force her to make an eye contact with him. Then tell her about the misunderstanding. That way she will understand even just a few words he wanted to say to her. However Mukuro shook his head, rejecting that thought. That could only make things worse.

Mukuro suddenly noticed Nagi's eyes looked dazed and very tired. She was at her limit to stay awake in the illusion world. After all, she was just an unborn baby whose mind was immature and weak. Even staying conscious in the illusion world for an hour needed a lot of will and concentration to her. She was only here because Mukuro wasn't letting her leave.

Mukuro wanted to make her at least rest comfortable. However he can't stroke her head and help her go to sleep like he used to. She would immediately get tensed and scared if he tries. Another solution suddenly came into his mind. Mukuro hesitated for a moment. It felt awkward to do this.

[She felt very tired. Staying this long in the illusion world was an exhausting thing for her. However she didn't care. Nothing seemed to care anymore now. Although she was tired she didn't felt an urge to rest. She would just feel this tiredness and do nothing. The despair inside her was making her do nothing.

!

She suddenly raised her head and looked at her father. Although her father was trying to tell her something she didn't listen or even pay attention at all. However this… She couldn't help but listen to it.

He was carefully singing a lullaby. The same lullaby she had heard outside and even from her mother. She always liked to hear this lullaby. It always gave her a peaceful and comfortable feeling by just hearing it.

Her tensed body started to relax and she felt sleepily while hearing the lullaby. Her eyelid was getting heavier every moment. Even before she noticed she was lying down on the grass, half asleep. She flinched when she felt a hand on her head. Her instinct was telling her to wake up because of the possible danger and the fear she had toward her father.

However his hand was gentle. Carefully stroking her head. She always liked her father stroking her head. It felt warm and being accepted. She forced her heavy eyelid to open up again. This confused her. Her father hated her and tried to kill her twice. He never wanted her in the first place. Than why is he giving her this kind of warmness right now?

I'm sorry, I love you.

She suddenly remembers what her father kept telling her after she almost died. She didn't believe it and still doesn't. But his words and his behavior was making her feel confuse. Her blue eyes met with her father's blue and red heterochromia eyes met. Making an eye contact made their mind connection bond temporary stronger. She could feel her father's emotions toward her.

Guilt, sadness, worry and…love. She immediately closed her eyes again. She didn't want to know. She didn't want to have a foolish and naïve hope again.]

Mukuro made a bitter smile while looking at the sleeping child. The moment they made a short eye contact he was able to catch a glimpse of what she was thinking.

"Oya, oya, foolish and naïve hope?"

He could feel a painful guilt in his heart. The 'foolish and naïve girl' he used to call her, must had really hurt her. Mukuro let out a sigh. He really meant that when he first time called her. However…it unconsciously changed as a secret meaning of affection towards her. Especially that day when his daughter was trying to comfort him when he was crying. But it didn't change that he did used that word to also hurt her when…he tried to kill her again. Mukuro regrets it but he knows it's too late to fix it.

Mukuro put that problem aside. It was more important to fix the misunderstanding between Chrome than him... Mukuro made a bitter smile again. Unlike Chrome, most of things he did wasn't a misunderstanding. He was such an awful father.

Mukuro sighed, looking down at his sleeping daughter. At least he found a clue how to make her listen to him. The lullaby was the key. It will take time but Mukuro felt relief that he found a way.

[She was getting confused… She just wants to sleep in her dark place, doing nothing, not even thinking. However her mother and father will drag her to the illusion world multiple times. It was always the same after that. She would hide from her parents. She would always hear her mother crying and saying something to her, while trying to find her. However her mother never succeed in finding her. She would hide until her mother finally leaves the illusion world. Than hear her mother crying from her dark place.

She also hides from her father but he somehow always find her although how hard she tries to hide from him.

"It's getting harder to find you every time."

She didn't understand what he said but it didn't seemed like a bad meaning since he looked kind of proud.

Unlike her mother, things with her father was changing a bit… At first he would start talking to her but she couldn't understand any of it. Because she didn't want to hear it and didn't try to understand it. However whenever he starts to sing the lullaby she couldn't help but focus on it. While focusing on the lullaby his father would suddenly say something and she would mostly understand it because she was focusing.

"Your mother loves you."

"Your mother never meant to hurt you in propose."

"Give your mother another chance. She loves you more than anything."

"She never tried to ignore your calls. It was just all a misunderstanding."

"Everything will change if you will meet your mother. She truly loves you."

It was always about her mother. Although it was only a few words and sentence each time they met, it was giving her a huge effect. She really wanted to believe it. But the past memories was making her doubt her father's words.

Her mother loves her? But her mother have been ignoring her pleading calls and even tried to abort her. What does he mean that it was a misunderstanding? Meet her mother? The last time she met, her mother was very angry at her and yelled so many hurtful words. She was too afraid to meet her mother again. She didn't want to get hurt again.

However her father's words were making her feel…hope. What if he's right? What if her mother really does love her? But she was still very afraid to meet her mother again. But her father's words made a change. When her mother was searching for her in the illusion world, her father's words will echo inside her. Making her confuse what to do.

She once tried to leave her hiding place and approach her mother. However the memory of her mother yelling at her with hurtful words would haunt her. It made her stop and just helplessly tremble and cry.

'Your mother never meant to hurt you on propose.'

She suddenly remembers what her father had told her. Then why did she do that to her? What is the misunderstanding her father is talking about?

She looked at her mother while still hiding. And finally she focus for the first time what her mother was saying. At first she couldn't immediately understand what her mother was saying. However she could finally understand some of it.

"I'm sorry! I never meant to hurt you! Please! I love you!"

Her blue eyes shook. What? She was too shock that she couldn't even move. She didn't came out from her hiding place. However her mother's words kept echoing inside her head even when she was back at her dark place. Her little heart was beating fast. She was feeling very confuse. She didn't know what was true anymore. But now…she wanted to know.]

It's been a week since Mukuro was trying to convince his daughter of meeting Chrome. Trying to tell her there was a misunderstanding between her and Chrome. It was frustrating that this didn't seemed like working.

However today was different. Mukuro was surprised to see his daughter as soon as he came into the illusion world. She wasn't hiding this time. Although he could see she was nervous, she was looking at him. Making an eye contact. Nagi was waiting for him. Mukuro carefully approach her, his heart pounding very hard at this change. However Mukuro stopped as soon as Nagi took a step back when he approached her. She was still afraid of him. It hurt Mukuro but Mukuro didn't show it. Instead he slowly sat down, trying to show her that he wasn't going to hurt her.

Nagi hesitated for a while but soon nervously sat down a little far from her father. Mukuro waited, giving her the time she needed. Finally after a few moments later, Nagi was able to gain the courage and made an eye contact with her father.

[Why did mom tried to abort me if she loves me?]

It wasn't a langue but Mukuro could just sense and understand what she was saying. Mukuro felt a pain in his heart that she was asking this. It was an evidence how much everything was twisted and wrong. Mukuro opened his mouth, trying to be careful at what he was saying.

"Your mother never tried to abort you. She always tried to save your life no matter what."

Even at the edge of death, Chrome was using all her will and flame to save their daughter.

[But it hurt. I almost died from it…]

"That wasn't your mother who did that. There was a bad man who kicked your mother…"

[Why did she never answer my calls?]

"She didn't know it was you. She thought it was…"

But Nagi didn't wait for Mukuro's answers and start asking everything. As if her emotions just explode.

[Why did she said stop wishing to be loved?! Why did she said it would had been better for me to really just die when I almost did?!]

"…"

Mukuro couldn't answer that. He didn't know what happened between them when they finally met again. It was actually a shock to Mukuro to know Chrome had really said that to their daughter. Nagi was heavily crying now. Her tears won't stop falling from her face. But she was still making an eye contact with him. Wanting answers.

[Why do you hate me so much? Why do you want to kill me?]

Mukuro was speechless. Every question she asked was important but Mukuro knew although how hard he tries to explain…it won't really help her. She will listen, but she won't completely understand everything. But she needed to know all the truth, completely. Mukuro didn't know where to start. He didn't know how to tell her. He wish he could just show his memories.

'Wait… She can see memories!'

A realization suddenly strike Mukuro. There was a way to make her completely understand what had really happened! Nagi had an ability to go inside the person's subconscious and experience their memory. If Nagi could see Chrome's memories then their misunderstanding will be fixed.

But before that…Mukuro answered the last question.

"I'm sorry that I hurt you and even…tried to kill you. I don't hate you…not anymore. Unlike your mother, I'm not a good person. It wasn't your fault, it's just that I'm an awful person. You don't have to forgive me. You can blame me everything for what you have gone through. I deserve it."

Nagi didn't really understand what her father was talking about. And it didn't seemed like Mukuro was going to tell her more. Mukuro carefully approach his daughter.

"But your mother is different. She loves you more than anything."

Mukuro carefully grabbed his daughter's hand. She flinched and got tensed but didn't run away.

"Do you remember that place with water and lotus? Where you saw your mother's memory?"

Nagi slightly nodded.

"Nagi, take us there. I'll show you what really happened."

Nagi unconsciously clenched her father's hand hard. She honestly didn't want to go there. Last time she went there…it was very hurtful. But she wanted to know the truth. After a few hesitation, she used her flame.

Erica was extremely worried about Chrome. Chrome was crying for a week now and looked very stressed. Erica wished why Chrome was suddenly acting like this but Chrome was refusing any conversation with anyone as if she was too focused on something. But on what?

Erica sighed, feeling confused. She tried to guess the reason but nothing made sense. A week ago, after Chrome was angry at her…just a few minutes later, Chrome was crying and bleeding. Erica could guess Chrome was in panic because there was suddenly a bleeding and something might had happened to the baby.

But Erica could feel her cries weren't just from fears when Chrome suddenly embraced her and cried in her arms. Then Chrome suddenly starts coughing blood and having a very bad fever as if there was fire inside her. It was a horrible moment for Erica. There wasn't anything she could do then just embracing her daughter when clearly something was very wrong. After Chrome fainted and woke up, Chrome wouldn't stop crying and was in panic for a week now. They came back to Erica's house from the foundation after Chrome's physical health was better, but her mental health was a problem.

It actually wouldn't be strange for Erica to think Chrome had suddenly gone crazy. Even some of the doctors in the foundation were considering if Chrome was having a mental illness. However Erica had an instinct Chrome wasn't crazy or having some kind of a mental illness. Erica could see Chrome was having a huge guilt at something. And that guilt was currently eating Chrome. But what is she feeling guilty about? Erica and even the doctors tried to ask Chrome what was wrong but none of them was successful.

'I wonder if this also have something to do with being an illusionist?'

Erica wondered. She did heard what illusionist is and Chrome is one of it. Erica also saw Chrome making illusion. However Erica never heard what illusionist are capable to do from Chrome herself. Maybe there is more than just making illusion. And maybe something that people don't know was the reason to this.

Erica sighed heavily. She learned that illusionists are actually rare and a skillful illusionist like Chrome was even much rarer. Which means there really wasn't anyone who could understand what Chrome is going through right now. There wasn't any illusionist in the foundation.

Erica suddenly wondered. If that man…Rokudo Mukuro was here…will he know the reason of Chrome's pain? Erica just had a feeling he would and even know how to fix this. Although Erica didn't like that man…she wished he was here right now. Erica felt a pain in her heart. She was Chrome's mother and yet she couldn't do anything and the man which is known to use her daughter as a puppet would be much helpful right now.

Mukuro was standing in the water and countless of lotus were everywhere. He was in Chrome's subconscious again. Although it was his second time here, he still felt surprise to be in here. However he was taken aback, when he saw his daughter was a baby again. It still felt very unreal and shocking to see her as a baby than a teenager.

Mukuro hesitated but soon gather courage to lift the baby into his arms. It felt wrong to leave her inside the water. However as soon as Mukuro raised her in his arms she flinched in surprise and even started to waggle. Mukuro could see she was afraid and…she didn't trust him. It hurt Mukuro but he didn't want to scare her any further. He tried to carefully put her down but before he could Nagi act first.

"!"

Mukuro was surprised to see her suddenly turn into a teenager from the baby. Nagi quickly took a few steps away from him. Now that she was teenager it was easier to see her emotions in her face. She looked stunned and surprise that Mukuro tried to lift her in his arms. Confused and scared if he was really just trying to hold her or was trying to hurt her again.

It actually hurts to see his daughter afraid of him.

"…You can turn into the age you want?"

Mukuro asked although he knew she wasn't going to answer it or maybe even understand it. Mukuro just wanted to show her he didn't meant any harm. However he was really surprised at her sudden change of age. He had a theory why Nagi was a teen when she met him and a baby when she met Chrome or was in Chrome's subconscious. But he never imagined she was able to change her age if she wanted to.

Mukuro could see Nagi was a bit less scared after hearing him talking in a soft voice. Mukuro unconsciously tried to stroke her head but stopped as soon as Nagi flinched. Mukuro sighed and instead made an eye contact with her and asked.

"What do you want to know first?"

Nagi flinched again and it was a sign she understood what Mukuro was asking. However she looked away from him, refusing to answer. Mukuro immediately noticed why. Mukuro carefully and gently grabbed Nagi's chin and made her make an eye contact with him again.

"You don't have to be afraid. It was a misunderstanding. Your mother always loved you and she never wanted to hurt you."

Mukuro could feel Nagi's breath becoming rapid because of the pain of remembering the hurtful memories she had. Mukuro wanted to hug her and comfort her but didn't since he knows she would refuse it and might scare her again.

[What did she want to know? She wanted to know so many things. Why did her mother always ignored her calls and rejected her every time? Why did she hated her so much and yelled such hurtful words to her when they finally met again? But if it really was all a misunderstanding like her father said…there was one which she wanted to know first.]

Mukuro could see his daughter finally gain courage to ask. Inside his head he could know what she said.

[Why did she tried to kill me?]

Mukuro couldn't help but let out a painful groan. He immediately realized what she was asking. It was the moment when Tigern kicked Chrome's stomach. Mukuro knew they would have to face that one too but…he honestly wasn't ready to see that moment himself. Especially for the first one. However there wasn't a choice then to face it.

"Do you know…which lotus has that memory?"

Nagi timidly looked around for a moment and immediately pointed it. Mukuro couldn't help but let out a groan once again. It was actually near and just the look of it, the lotus was very badly wounded. Meaning it was a very painful memory for Chrome.

As they got in front of that lotus, Nagi tried to touch it. She knows the wounded lotus have painful memories but she didn't care. She was already wounded and hurt inside and she just wanted to know if her father was right about the misunderstanding. However Mukuro stopped her by grabbing her hand from touching it. Mukuro crouched down and made an eye contact with her again.

"…It's…going to be painful and…scarier. I actually…don't want you to see this because…"

Mukuro was trying to be careful what he was saying. He really didn't want her to see this memory although she needed to. But he wish he could convinced her at least this one because…this will be very painful in a different meaning. Mukuro could guess what this lotus will show but he didn't know how bad it will be, because he himself wasn't there at that moment. But from Tigern's mocking words and the amount of Chrome's blood he found, he knows it was going to be terrible.

However Nagi suddenly touch the lotus with her other hand. Mukuro's action only made her doubt if he was lying to her. She wanted to know the truth.

"Tigern?"

Chrome saw the tiger like creature immediately pounced to her as soon as it came inside the room by breaking the window. She was very surprised to see an unexpected face, Tigern. Chrome could see the tiger form large beast's claws swinging to her. She needed to dodge that but…Tigern was too fast and she was currently too weak to react fast enough.

"!"

Chrome couldn't even let out a scream at the pain of the large claws ripping and digging deep into her skin. The beast immediately knocked her hard to the floor from the bed. Chrome tried to get up from the floor. She could smell her blood and hear the screams of her friends. They were all in great danger. She needed to do something or all of us might die here. However her body felt so heavy and the flame inside her was empty from the previous fight.

Chrome felt her heart drop the moment she heard a dangerous growl behind her. She tried to get up but it was too late. Tigern's teeth shank deep into her shoulder and Chrome felt like fainting at the pain. She wasn't conscious enough to know what exactly happen after that. Only that Tigern didn't stop attacking her even though she was too injured to fight back. She could feel her body getting clawed and slammed hard to the wall as if a cat was toying its captured prey just for satisfaction before killing it.

The pain was too much. Chrome didn't know if she lost conscious for a moment or not. But when she was finally able to open her eye, she found herself being carried on the tiger form beast's shoulder and they were in the woods. He was taking her somewhere and Chrome instinctually knew she had to stop that no matter what! Wherever he was taking her, it will be the end of her.

Chrome summoned her trident from the mist using every little flame that was left inside of her. There wasn't time to think. Tigern was very fast, carrying her deeper into the woods. Chrome stabbed Tigern's flank as hard as she can with her every remaining strength she had

Tigern yelled out a painful growl and drop Chrome. Chrome's body fell hard at the ground and Chrome couldn't move from the pain of it. She could see Tigern letting out an irritated growl and pulling out the trident from his flank. He was glaring at her as if he wanted to kill her right now. He suddenly turned into a human form again and approached her.

Chrome tried to move but her body wasn't listening. She was too injured and lost too much blood. Chrome expected Tigern was going to kill her. She could see the killing intent and cruelness in his eyes. But she didn't expected Tigern wasn't trying to kill her…but someone else. Chrome's single eye widen in panic and fear when he raised his foot in a kicking position, realizing what he was going to do next. It happened too fast for Chrome to do something.

Chrome's stomach got kicked very hard. Chrome couldn't breathe at the terrible pain. A whimper of deep pain escape from her mouth. She never felt this kind of pain before. She wish this never happened. She wished her stomach wasn't kicked where her baby was. Please no, please no…her baby!

Chrome's single eye widen in terror again when she saw Tigern trying to kick her stomach again. NO! She didn't know where she suddenly gain this strength, but she was able to quickly make her body like a ball, her stomach facing the ground. Chrome felt her back getting kicked hard instead. However she didn't care. She needed to protect her baby at any cost!

Chrome quickly pulled out a ring and a box from her breast pocket. Chrome immediately wear the ring. Chrome closed her eye in guilt knowing this might hurt her baby even more. However there wasn't any choice. Tigern was trying to kill her baby! Chrome forcibly gathered flame inside her…which was her daughter's flame and insert the ring's flame into the box.

Her white owl, Mukurou immediately attacked Tigern as soon as he was free from the box. Chrome knew Mukurou could only buy her a little time. Chrome was heartbroken to…leave her royal friend in danger. Chrome forced to use more of her daughter's flame and a thick mist covered her body.

"No!"

Chrome could hear Tigern's angry shout before she disappeared. Chrome appeared nearby the Rango Famiglia's mansion. She collapsed as soon as the mist faded. Chrome covered her stomach with her arms and let out a painful and scared cry. Her stomach is currently hurting so much that she was terrified if it was the sign the baby was in danger. Chrome suddenly cough out some blood. The technic of transferring place by mist was a difficult skill which needed a lot of flame. Chrome tried to use her flame as much as she can, trying not to use her daughter's flame too much. Because of that, her illusion organs were weaken making her cough out blood.

Her health wasn't Chrome's concern right now. She needed help to save her baby. Chrome forced herself to stand up and walk. However when she took just a few steps Chrome's face turned pale with terror as she felt blood dripping between her thighs.

"No, no, no! Please no!"

Chrome fell in panic. Her baby was in danger and there wasn't anything more frightening than that right now. She needed help! Anyone! But it was dark outside, a time where everyone would be asleep inside their room. The Vongola Famiglia doesn't know where she is. There was no one who could help her right now.

Chrome forced herself to walk. She needed to find help! However she was too injured that it felt like she would loss conscious anytime soon. Suddenly, Chrome fell onto someone she bumped. She smelled the familiar scent from the person, somehow making her relax. As if her instinct recognized that scent and knew this person will help her.

"Oh my God! Nagi!"

"…E..ri..ca?"

Chrome recognized the person's voice and raised her face to see it was her mother. Chrome could see her mother's frighten and panic face with her blur eyesight. Also see the tiger looking creature running towards them before she finally lost conscious.

Mukuro didn't move a muscle even though the memory ended. He saw how Tigern attacked and injured Chrome. How he hurt her. Toyed with her. How Tigern kicked Chrome's stomach, knowing Chrome was pregnant. Tigern tried to kill his Chrome and their daughter. Mukuro already knew that, but seeing it with his own eyes was making him outrage.

He could feel how much pain Chrome felt. The terror she felt. It was making Mukuro crazy and making him feel an urge to immediately hunt down Tigern and give him the most painful death he could think of. Also Mukuro couldn't forgive himself. He was the reason why Chrome had to go through this in the first place.

Mukuro was finally able to move when he was finally able to hear a cry next to him. He finally noticed he was gripping his fist so hard that it was bleeding. He didn't know he was hold his breath. Mukuro look next to him and immediately crouch down to his daughter. She was crying and clearly having a panic right now.

[What did she just saw? She saw it and felt it. But her little and fragile mind was refusing to understand what she just saw. It was too much for her to endure.

Mom, mom, mom!

Her instinct was in control, crying out to her mother as any infant would do. Tears starts to uncontrollably fall from her eyes as she remember how much her mother was hurt. She could feel her mother was dying in that memory. That scary thing hurting her mother again and again. Stop, stop, stop! Don't hurt her mommy!

But that scary thing won't stop. She could feel how much pain and terror her mother was in. She couldn't breathe. Her breath was too rapid that she couldn't actually breathe. Her heart was pounding was hard that it hurts. Her mind felt like it quickly sinking into a swamp of terror.

"Nagi! Calm down!"

She suddenly heard her name and her father's hand gripping her arms and pulling her. She could finally see her surroundings again. Although she was still in panic, she wasn't trapped inside her head anymore.

"It's all right…It's all right… You've met your mother, don't you remember? She's not hurt anymore. This is just…the past."

Tears started to drop more as she finally remembered this was just a memory. She saw her mother wasn't hurt like that anymore. The relief made her cry more. Her father carefully embraced her. She didn't refuse it this time and instead grabbed his shirt hard and buried her face into his chest and cry.

Chrome woke up and immediately looked around her surroundings. She was relief to know it was just a dream and she wasn't in the Rango Famigila's mansion or the woods. Chrome burst out a cry. Experiencing that pain and horror again in her dream felt like a punishment for hurting her baby. Chrome placed her hands on her stomach, feeling a bit relief that the baby was alive inside her.

Chrome whipped off her tears and tried to calm down. It's just a past. Her stomach wasn't kicked again. Her baby's alive. She succeed from escaping from Tigern. Because she met…

"Erica…"

Chrome murmured. She was able to escape because she met her mother. Chrome saw how Tigern immediately found her and chased her. If she didn't met Erica, Chrome would had been captured and…probably have a terrible experience. Chrome couldn't know if she would had gotten killed or…something else but it was certain she wouldn't have been getting medical treatment and care like now.

Chrome closed her eye, realizing how lucky she was and she should be thankful towards her mother. Her childhood can't be changed or erased but…what her mother did to her to protect her from Tigern and all of the nurses and care she gave, is also the same. It can't be changed and shouldn't be erased.

Chrome finally accepts she should truly be thankful to her mother.

Mukuro gently patted his daughter's back to help her ease. She was finally starting to calm down. However she still looked very stunned at what she just seen. Mukuro carefully made an eye contact with her. He noticed she was feeling very confused right now. She didn't understand why someone was hurting her mother.

"…There are many…bad people with bad reasons why people hurt each other."

Mukuro didn't know how to explain this to an unborn baby who never experience life yet. He didn't want to tell the details why this happened. She was too little for that. Instead, Mukuro wanted to focus on the reason why they came into Chrome's subconscious right now.

"Your mother tried to protect you. She never wanted to hurt you. You felt how much terrified she was, worrying if you were hurt and guilty to use your flame."

[She still felt confused, but was slowly adjusting to want she saw. Her little, immature mind was having a hard time to really understand all the things she saw in her mother's memory. However her father was right. That pain that almost killed her…it wasn't from her mother. Instead her mother was trying to protect her from that scary thing. Realizing she was very wrong this whole time and learning the truth made her feel stunned and…relief.]

"Do you want to know more about the misunderstandings you have or do you want to rest today and do this another time?"

Mukuro honestly wanted to stop for now. He could see this was a bit too much for his daughter right now. It might be better to look at the other memories next time and rest for today. However Nagi immediately shook her head. Mukuro let out a heavily sigh but respected her decision.

"What do you want to know next?"

[…If her mother didn't try to kill her then why did she talk about abort, kill and die before she got kicked?]

Mukuro couldn't help but let out a painful groan. He knew they would see that memory too but he honestly didn't want her to see it. Nagi would learn that Chrome never wanted to abort her but she would also learn he wanted it. He didn't want to hurt his daughter anymore but there wasn't any choice.

The lotus which have that memory was also very wounded. It was the evidence how much he hurt Chrome with his words. Even though he didn't touch the lotus, that memory was clearly replaying inside Mukuro's head right now. He could remember Chrome's hurt expression and how he made her fall down and cry. He was…afraid…that Chrome will die because of the pregnancy. Chrome could suddenly die in just a few weeks or worst, in a few days. That actually made Mukuro panic and afraid.

An unborn baby, which he never saw or bond with and most of all couldn't be born, was a meaningless thing to Mukuro. Instead he wanted to kill it before if harms Chrome. Right before Chrome told her about the pregnancy, her illusion organs suddenly failed and it was a dangerous moment that Chrome could had suddenly died in his arms. Being a father? It was something he never considered or will ever accept in his life.

However things changed a lot. Although there was many bad decision he made, he got to meet his daughter in the illusion world and slowly bond with her. He learned how much Chrome desperately wished she could have her own child. He learned his mother really did love him that Mukuro could finally accept about being a father. He also found a clue how Chrome and their daughter won't die during the pregnancy.

However what's the point about that right now? This lotus will show how Chrome felt and thought at that moment. This will be a huge pain for Mukuro. Also because he changed, he will feel guiltier at those cruel words he said to Chrome…and their daughter, Nagi.

Mukuro let out a heavy sigh and crouch down, making an eye contact with Nagi. He wanted to at least less a little bit of the pain she will feel.

"…You would already know I'm a bad person…and I am…"

Mukuro carefully grabbed Nagi's hand. The warmness actually made Mukuro sad. His daughter was afraid of him and avoid most of his touch. Their father and daughter bond was damaged and weak. However after seeing this memory, their bond could completely break. Mukuro knew he would get very hurt it that happens. However he already made up his mind to sacrifice everything to make things right again. It also included he would sacrifice himself stepping outside of Chrome and Nagi's life. He was an awful and terrible father that it could be better for Chrome and Nagi to be together without him.

Mukuro tried to ignore the pain he was feeling. He deserved this. He was the one who made all the terrible decision. But the pain was only getting bigger.

"In this lotus memory, I didn't want you… But I don't think like that anymore. I wish you'll be born and grow up with your mother. So I…"

Mukuro hesitated. He didn't know what else to say. Saying this kind of soft, kind and caring words was so unnatural to him. He couldn't know if he was saying the right words either.

"I love you. I just want you to know that."

Mukuro closed his eyes. He felt like a fool. He couldn't think of a better word to say to her. However Mukuro didn't realize Nagi staring at him, her blue eyes slightly shaking. She doesn't know why but above all the apologizes her father had said to her, this one finally got into her.

Mukuro felt a huge pain in his heart to see this moment again but in a different way. The memory started by Chrome waking up in bed and suddenly coughing out blood. Mukuro wasn't surprise when he learned Chrome was worried of her womb failing than her life being in danger. After all, Chrome was willing to give up her life to have their daughter.

Just as expected it was painful to see the moment when Chrome confessed she was pregnant.

"I-I'm pregnant."

Mukuro could feel Chrome being very nervous and afraid of his reaction. He could see himself being very stunned like a fool. The surprise, disbelief and confusion was all over his face.

"H-How? You're infertile."

Why did you have to say that as the first response of her pregnancy you fool? Mukuro wanted to punch his past. Mukuro clearly remembers the shock he was in, but did he had to act like a…selfish man he always been…when this was a very important moment in Chrome's life? Mukuro gripped his fist hard as he felt Chrome was hurt at his words. She wanted to cry, but was holding back her emotions.

"It has something to do with my illusion suddenly getting powerful…"

"What?"

Mukuro wanted to look away this moment. It actually hurts to hear this conversation again. The horror he felt when he noticed Chrome's life was in danger because the baby had a powerful flame… By reading the Estraneo Famiglia's experiment reports, he knows how awful and painful death the pregnant women got just because they had a baby with powerful flame. It scared him that Chrome's fate will be the same as those experiment women.

"Chrome abort it!"

"…What?"

Mukuro felt like collapsing to the floor just like Chrome in the memory, by being affected at Chrome's emotion. Her shock was enormous. Even before she could get out from her shock, the Mukuro in the memory starts to hurt her more.

"Chrome you need to abort it as fast as you can!"

Her world was collapsing around her, and Mukuro was feeling the same thing. She knew he wouldn't like the news of her pregnancy and even might break up with her and deny their baby. However she never imagine he would tell her to abort their baby. Mukuro couldn't breathe. Experiencing Chrome's thought and emotions at this moment was much painful than he expected.

In the memory, they started to have an argument. None of them were backing down. Chrome was refusing to abort their baby while he was angry and yelling at her to abort it.

"You're going to die!"

Mukuro watch his past yelling at Chrome. His past was desperate. Watching this moment outside with a rational mind now, Mukuro realized he wasn't just afraid that Chrome will die. Mukuro wanted to let out a long curse as he realized another reason why he was so desperate at that moment. He was unconsciously thinking he did the same thing what the Estraneo Famiglia did.

The Estraneo Famiglia made a fetus with a powerful flame. He pregnant Chrome with a baby that has powerful flame. Although the Estraneo Famiglia did it with an experiment and Chrome's pregnancy was only a natural result and a miracle…Mukuro felt the result was the same anyway. That disgusted him making him feel like he was still a member of the Estraneo Famiglia. Like someone was telling him he can't be free from his roots and will always be with him.

Mukuro really felt like he wanted to throw up. He felt sick by facing his deep inner thoughts that he didn't noticed until now. Hearing their argument which he now deeply regrets every word he yelled at his Chrome. Feeling Chrome's despair, sadness and pain. Even for Mukuro this was all too much.

"Nagi wait!"

"Don't follow me!"

The memory ended when Chrome started to fun away from him, truly afraid of him that he would kill their baby even by force. Mukuro never wanted Chrome to be afraid of him. But it seemed like it was something that was supposed to happen no matter what.

Mukuro noticed it was very quiet right now. That actually scared him. He expected Nagi will cry immediately or fell in panic again when the memory ends. However she was being very quiet and still. Mukuro carefully looked down at her. She looked shock at what she learned but was strangely too quiet.

Mukuro expected she would feel a relief that her mother never wanted to abort her and instead was trying to protect her. Feel angry or terrified that he wanted to abort her. Or maybe just be afraid to witness her parents arguing. But it was none of that.

Nagi looked up to her father. Mukuro could see tears gathering up in her blue eyes. He could feel that Nagi was in shock because she learned something horrible which she never imagine. Mukuro was confused why she was feeling…guilt?

[Is mom going to die because of me?]

Thank you for the review

Tsukikami02

Guest

Maashiro

Caraminab

Guest(admirer)

Reinpianist

Guest(oj)

Guest(pan)

Eiida-chan

Guest(repipi armario)

Guest

Guest(Hay L)

Guest

Guest

Guest