Picks up where the last chapter left off. Changes of POV and verb tense, just because I started writing them at different times and was too lazy to change it. lol.

This chapter is rated "M" for a reason. It is also heavy on dialogue.

Enjoy!

Happy.

That was the only way Amanda could explain her emotional state as she bid Fin and Phoebe goodbye and met her cab outside to go home to her girls after a late night. When the evening had first started, she had expected to be celebrating the union of her friends, not her own with the ADA.

She and Carisi had settled into a good place in their...friendship? Relationship? Whatever it could be called. He'd been there for her, like he always had been, during all the drama with her dad's stroke, and she'd gone to the hospital with him after Henry Mesner had attacked him and had even checked up on him afterwards. They grabbed lunch sometimes, he stopped by when he could to see the girls, and maybe their gazes lingered a little too long to pass off this thing between them as simply just being friends.

Then tonight, and that damn speech, had ripped away any pretense that the fluttering in her chest when she saw him wasn't because somewhere over the last year or two, she'd fallen for her ex partner. Things had always been complicated between them, but the words that he'd only gotten to share with her had rung true. There was a bond between partners that never goes away, and for the two of them, it was merely the foundation of everything that had followed.

Amanda ran the tips of her fingers over her lips and smiled. That kiss...God, that kiss. It confirmed every single errant thought she'd entertained since Carisi had held her in his arms in that elevator after the Bucci incident. They were more than friends, she deserved to be happy, and maybe, just maybe, she could handle being with the nice guy. If the nice guy was him.

It was no secret that she'd made plenty of wrong choices in the past. She had done all the wrong things, with all the wrong guys, for all the wrong reasons, and aside from her two baby girls, she had nothing to show for it. Her past had cheated her out of every chance of happiness she'd ever had, and she'd let it. Fear and bad habits had ruled her for so long that she was starting to think her daddy might be right. She took one look at an actual good man and decided it wasn't worth the effort to try and deserve him. But things had changed over the past few years...she had changed. For her girls, for her job, for him...and most importantly, for herself.

She contemplated the differences in her life as the cab driver pulled up to her building and signaled their arrival. She thanked him, handed over some cash, and made it into the building without issue.

The elation calmed some as she climbed the stairs to her apartment, and fished her key out of her purse. Frannie greeted her on the other side of the door, followed shortly by Sienna. Her sitter gave her the run down of the evening, about bath and bedtime, and offered to take Frannie out one last time before she left for the night. Amanda thanked her and checked on the girls as she did so. They were both sound asleep, and even though she was tempted to go drop a kiss on their sweet little heads, she just pulled the door closed and left them to their dreams. Besides, if they woke up now, they may not go back down any time soon, and she was expecting company.

Just like that, the excitement returned, and Amanda laughed to herself at how childish she felt.

It was Carisi. He'd come over a million times and had even crashed on her couch on New Year's Eve. This was nothing new.

Except for the fact that you kissed him, her inner voice pointed out, And he kissed you back. And invited him to come over when he finished up at the office.

Okay, so maybe things were slightly different this time around. But it was a good difference. A positive change that filled her with joy instead of dread.

She waited until Sienna returned with Frannie before bidding the younger girl goodbye and locking up behind her. The night was quiet, save for the white noise machine playing lullabies in the girl's room, and Amanda stared around the empty living room of her apartment. Evidence of playtime had been cleaned up, but there were a few chores she needed to attend to. Some dishes in the sink. A basket of laundry on the couch that needed to be put away. One of her daughter's shoes that needed to be put up in the closet.

She busied herself with these things to avoid waiting in anticipation for Carisi to text her that he was on his way, and when she was finished with that, she decided on a shower. The water was nice and calming, but undressing had made her consider where this night might be going, and for some reason, the possibilities made her nervous.

Amanda wasn't typically a shy person, and when it came to sex she'd always had a pretty simple philosophy. She was human, with needs. She wanted it, she went for it.

Except for the one time she hadn't.

Her thoughts drifted back to that motel doorway in West Virginia, to the drinks and the adrenaline still running through their veins, and Carisi throwing off some major James Dean vibes with his slicked back hair and leather jacket, and to the kiss that hadn't happened. It had been the right call that night, to back off and say good night instead of dragging him into the motel room behind her and banging his brains out. They had still been partners then, building a friendship, and the attraction had been more lust than anything else.

But that wouldn't be the case, tonight. Earlier, when they had kissed, it hadn't been explosive or demanding or about scratching an itch. At first, it was nerves. Everything she had been feeling, acknowledged and unacknowledged, had rushed to the surface of her heart and something in her brain had screamed at her that this was it. This was their moment. She had to do something.

Honestly, she didn't know she was going to kiss him; not until she touched his chest and he was looking at her in that loving way of his, and all her words died on her tongue. Her body moved, wanting to erase any question or doubt he may have about what she felt, and she planted one on him, slow and firm.

His lips had responded, more of a twitch than an actual kiss, but it was encouraging. She had pulled away to look at him, to read the thoughts that were always so obvious in his eyes, and despite a little moment of bewilderment, she found acceptance in his gaze. Relief flooded her stomach and any lingering insecurities or hesitance flew out the window. There would be no rejection from either of them tonight. So she'd leaned in to kiss him again, and that time, he was there too, nose brushing against hers, hands and arms moving to hold her, eyes closing as the distance between them disappeared and they kissed.

There was definitely an undeniable heat involved, as Carisi had drawn her close and she had turned to putty beneath his hands, but instead of a lustful haze, the passion stemmed from the intimacy of two people who knew each other so well and had waited so long to finally get to touch like this. It had been...peaceful. Calm as the water below them. And as Amanda had breathed in the familiar scent of him; a mixture of his cologne and aftershave, she'd felt the greatest comfort she'd ever known. This was a good man, and she was right to trust this thing between them. Trust that he would never hurt her, like so many others had, and that she was safe in his arms.

The water turned cold as she pulled herself from her thoughts, but the recanting had helped settle her nerves. Whatever happened tonight, if anything happened tonight...it would be okay. They would be okay.

She dressed for bed after drying off; pulling on a soft pair of pajama shorts and a Fordman Law T-shirt that Carisi had left over for her to wash one evening after Jessie had spilled juice down the front of it. It didn't smell like him anymore, but it was comfortable and the more devious side of her wanted to see if he'd notice...and more importantly, if he'd like it. Then she grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and settled onto the couch with Frannie, letting reruns of the Bachelor entertain her until her human company arrived.

It was half past midnight and Amanda had been drifting off to a commercial, when the jangle of keys in her door's lock jolted her to alertness. Frannie tuned into the noise as well, and let out a low, gruff bark.

"Shhh," Amanda ran a hand over her back, "It's okay, girl."

She stood and went to the hall, just as Carisi was opening the door.

"Hey," he greeted, and Frannie darted past her, letting out one more huff before realizing who it was, "And hello to you, too."

He pet Frannie with one hand as he closed the door with the other, and Amanda reached over to turn the lock as he pocketed his keys.

"I guess somebody missed me," he laughed quietly, making sure the dog had calmed before turning his attention fully on Amanda. That dimpled smile showed all over his face, and her pulse quickened.

"She's not the only one," Amanda admitted, somewhat sheepishly, and Carisi completely beamed at her.

"I tried to get ova' here soona'," he said, his Staten Island accent making the "r" sound drop off of his words, "But I wanted to swing by my place and grab some stuff."

It wasn't until then that she was able to pull her gaze away from his face long enough to realize that he'd changed clothes, and was carrying a duffle bag in one hand.

"No, that's...that's fine," she nodded, "I mean, the girls were already asleep anyway, so…"

He nods, but doesn't say anything, and she isn't sure what else to say either...how to start the conversation she knew they needed to had. But she did know they couldn't just hang out in the hall all night.

"Carisi, I-"

"Look, Rollins-"

They started at the same time, shut up at the same time, and locked gazes. And smiled. Like a bubble bursting, they both broke into a fit of soft laughter, and when it died, Amanda offered him a hand. He took it and she pulled him into the living room.

"You want anything?" she asked him, "Water? Glass of wine?"

"Nah, I'm good," he assured her, setting the duffle on the loveseat, before taking his usual spot on the other end of the sofa.

Amanda followed his lead, and sat next to him, tucking her feet up beneath her.

"How'd it go with the Feds?" she asked, trying to be polite but also to stall the inevitable a little bit longer.

Carisi, who was still holding her hand, smirked as he played with her fingers. He knew what she was doing, but gave her a short rundown of the night's events anyway. The case was still ongoing, but no longer being facilitated by the D.A.'s office, so it wasn't their problem anymore. He'd have to go back into the office on Monday to finish up some paperwork, but for the rest of this weekend, at least, he was free.

"Now, wasn't there somethin' else we were s'posed to be talkin' about?" he asked, squeezing her hand.

His expression was still soft, but Amanda knew him well enough to detect the nervous flex of his jaw as her eyes met his. He'd no doubt been anticipating this moment as much as she had.

Taking a leap of faith, she nodded at him, "Yeah...I think there was. I think-Well," she let out a small laugh, "I've been thinking about a lot tonight, actually."

He shifted so that he was facing her more directly, his shoulders straight as if he were bracing himself for her words, "And?"

Amanda exhaled, "And I know there's things I need to say...want to say...but I also have some questions."

He lifted his free hand in a "go ahead" gesture.

The first thing that came to her mind was something that she'd wondered about, but wasn't feeling a particular panic over, considering how he'd responded to her kiss...but still, she thought maybe it would be better to get that part out in the open first.

"You wouldn't have kissed me tonight, if you were dating someone, right?" she asked him, pretty sure of what his answer would be; of what kind of guy he was.

Carisi blinked in surprise, and she rushed to finish her thought, "It's just that I know you were...that there was something...we never really talked about it, but I can read between the lines, Carisi. I just...I didn't know if…"

The words died out as she tried to figure out exactly what it was she was trying to say, but luckily, he spared her.

"No, I...uh, yeah, there was...there was someone," he took a breath of his own, before continuing, "Nicole. She's, uh, she's an activist I met through some work colleagues. We'd been dating the past few months, but-"

An expression Amanda didn't quite recognize passed over his face.

"It wasn't working out," he said finally, "We wanted different things and...and honestly, it's my fault. I shouldn'ta started somethin' when I knew that, well, hoped that…"

His words drifted again, but the look in his eyes filled in the blanks. Amanda nodded; she understood, but she had to ask…

"Then why did you?"

Carisi's brows pulled together in confusion, so she clarified, "I mean, I'm not saying you weren't free to date or whatever, but...I don't know, I guess I thought that we might have been...that maybe, you know, this was going somewhere."

She motioned between the two of them, and his shoulders went slack.

"Yeah," he sighed, "Me too. I didn't know if it was, but I'd hoped that maybe-"

He shook his head a little, "I wanted this, Amanda. I...I still do. I want this with you, and I don't mean hookin' up or startin' a fling or whateva. I wanted to be with you; the real deal. I've wanted it for years."

She wasn't sure if his admission shocked her or not. It wasn't as if she hadn't known, on some level, what he felt, but-

"You shot me down," she reminded him, "After the Sir Toby case. I mean, I know you said you were busy and you'd be lousy company, but come on. When has one of us being in a bad mood ever stopped you coming over or us havin' a beer?"

"No," he nodded, "No, you're right. I did."

"Why?" she asked, her voice clearer now that she truly wanted an explanation, "I was trying, Carisi. I know after Jessie I still had some growin' up to do, I know that, but I was working on it. I actually tried being serious and dating, and ended up with Billie. Now, I know settling with Al would have been a bad idea, but since him...since Billie was born, there really hasn't been anyone significant in my life, besides you."

She swallowed hard, "And after my sessions with Dr. Hanover and the incident with Detective Bucci, I knew something had to give. I didn't want my girls growing up like I did; I didn't want them thinking that they couldn't be happy, which meant that I had to learn to accept that I could be too, and...I want that, Carisi."

She squeezed the hand that was still in hers, "I want to be happy, and I want to be with you. I think part of me knew it from that night with Bucci, when you took me home, and I kinda thought that's where we were going. And after New Year's Eve, I…"

She shrugged her shoulders, and stared at him, waiting, wanting to know where his head was at. What he had to say about all of it.

What she hadn't expected were for the next words out of his mouth to steal her breath away completely.

"I love you, Amanda."

She blinked, dumfounded, but he was speaking again before her lips could form words.

"I don't mean- well, I do, but I…" he huffed a laugh, "I love you. And I just might be in love with ya too, but it doesn't change that I love you. I love your girls. We're...we're family, ya know? You're my best friend, before everything else, and I love you."

Somehow, Amanda found her voice, and a shaky, "Dominick" left her.

He waved her down with his other hand, "Nah, let me get this out, Rollins. Because I...I do want this. I want this to work. I've always thought that we could be good togetha, ya know? We had a good thing, and I was willing to take the risk to make it somethin' greater. But, to be honest, afta' Billie, I'd kinda realized that you might neva' want the same...and that was okay. It's your life, too, and we were still friends...I was still the girl's godfather...I knew I had to be okay with it. But there were times-"

He shook his head, "When you went missing with Bucci, I nearly lost my mind, 'Manda, I was so worried. I didn't wanna lose you, eva', and I started thinkin' that maybe it was betta', being friends, having you in my life like that was betta' than not at all. Then, after the Sir Toby case...I thought I knew what you were hintin' about with the drinks, but I...I wasn't sure. It wouldn'ta' been the first time I'd gotten our signals crossed, and you meant too much to me to take the chance that I was wrong again."

His gaze dropped as he admitted that, his cheeks turning a little pink, and Amanda's heart both melted and broke for him.

"Carisi, I was definitely insinuating something that night. Not even subtly. I mean, I got a sitter," she pointed out, and he laughed.

"I guess I was being overly cautious," he dropped her hand, but ran his fingers over the knee that their palms had been resting on, "And then New Year's happened and I really was just tryin' to be your friend. It felt good to be with you like that."

"It did," she agreed.

"But I still wasn't sure that that was what ya wanted, you know? And afterwards, maybe we both just got busy with work, but we neva' talked about it, ya never said anything, and I just...after this past year, with the pandemic and the quarantinin', and the deaths...it put things into perspective for me, too."

He leaned forward a little more, "I'm not getting any younger, 'Manda. I had to at least try to, to move on, I guess. And then I met Nicole, and we got coffee, and we talked and it felt simple. I thought that it couldn't hurt to at least give it a shot, but-"

"It didn't work out," Amanda finished, repeating his words from before.

Carisi nodded, "She's happy with the way her life is and doesn't wanna change it, which is fine. But I know what I want. A family, kids, white picket fence and all that. It was neva' gonna happen with her. Especially not when, in my heart, I wasn't in it for the right reasons."

The silence that followed his words was heavy, and his eyes were looking down where his thumb brushed against her knee, back and forth. Amanda appreciated the fact that he was being honest with her, and realized just how close she'd really been to missing her chance with him. The chance they had now, to finally make this real.

"Well," she cleared her throat, "I don't know about the white fence...but as far as the American dream package, I come with the kids and dog already included."

Carisi laughed at that, his gaze darting back up to hers, "I know you're jokin' but I'm serious, Rollins. That's what I want. And if we do this...I wanna be clear that I'm in this for the long haul. Everything I've felt for you over the past six years has only gotten stronger and tryin' to move on from it didn't work. I want this, and I'm sure about it. I want you and I want you to let me love you, let me love those little girls in there, because I do, and I know what I'm gettin' myself into here. I'm not gonna change my mind, and I'm really hopin' you won't either. So, if you're opening the door, or hell, even a window, to the possibility of that...I wanna know. 'Cause I'm all in."

Amanda sobered, wanting to be sure he understood that she was taking him seriously, and even more so, that she felt the same. In a determined move, she lifted onto her knees and moved so that she was pushing her way into his lap.

"'Manda-" he let out a breathy chuckle, but swallowed it when she settled against him, straddling his hips, and took his face into her hands.

"I hear you," she promised him, "I do. And I want this to work, too. Everything you just said...that's the future I want, Dominick. I know I joke about the idea of marriage, and yeah, I'm not exactly the biggest advocate for it, because I've seen the shitty ways it's ended, but if there was anyone I actually thought I could last with...it would be you."

Something akin to hope glistened up at her from Carisi's eyes, "Yeah?"

She nodded, "You've already seen me at my worst. Every bad hair day and exhausted, pissy, version of me. You watched me give birth to Billie, for crying out loud. And I've pushed every button you have and came at you so many times, and you're still here, wanting to be with me. You don't...you don't know what that means to me, Carisi."

She brushed his hair behind his ears, lingering on the one that had been stabbed a few weeks ago. She recalled the fear that had flooded her when she spotted the blood running down his face.

"I don't know if I want to get married for a while. I don't know if I want any more kids-"

"Rollins, I'm not worried about that," he cut her off, "Jessie and Billie; I couldn't love em' anymore than I already do. They mean the world to me and-"

"I know," she assured him, "You've always loved them like they were your own. To be honest, that's one of the things I love most about you."

They both stilled at her almost admission, but Amanda was through with the guessing and the maybes and the uncertainty.

"I just meant that I don't know what the future looks like," she told him, looping hands together behind his head, "But I know that I'm open to possibilities, and that we're family.

She smiled at the reiteration, "We're family, and best friends, and you're the only guy in my life that I've been able to trust completely. That's gotta mean something. And I'm willing to risk something good for something great, with you, because..."

Staring into his ocean colored eyes, she spoke with absolute clarity, "Because I love you, Dominick Carisi. Whatever that means for us, wherever we go from here...I love you. And I'm tired of pretendin' like I don't. Like you aren't the best thing in my life, besides my girls. Like this isn't exactly what I want...because it is. I want you."

His stare was wide, and she couldn't help but smirk, because he obviously wasn't expecting that response from her.

"I'm assuming that's okay with you?" she teased him, "I'm not being too subtle?"

The ice seemed to crack across his expression and so many emotions crossed his face at once, before he smiled back at her with a tentative, "You're sure?"

Amanda threw her hands up, "What, you think I go around declaring my love to all my old partners?"

"Well," Carisi crooked his head, "There was that thing with Amaro, and Murphy, and you were getting pretty cozy with Khaldun when you were married for-"

Amanda playfully punched his shoulder, and he laughed.

"Fake married," she corrected, and he smirked, "How could I forget? It's not like I was thinking about it for hours after doing your interview with him."

"Really?" her brows lifted in surprise, "I mean, he's a great guy and all, but that story we spun...it didn't sound familiar?"

When a lifted chin was his only response, Amanda chuckled, "Carisi, come on! Talking about how we worked together for years and how I always thought he was funny and smart and attractive...but it wasn't until after he changed jobs that we could act on our feelings? That doesn't ring a bell?"

"You-" he stopped, thoughts whirling through his mind as the pieces clicked, and he huffed, "Well. I'll be damned."

Amanda grinned, "It was you, Carisi. Even then, it was you."

The look on his face was all she needed to know how he felt about that, and she was still smiling when his hand lifted to the back of her neck, bringing her lips down to his. She kissed him with everything she had, wrapping her legs around his back until he was holding her completely to him, and they were bumping noses and giggling into each others' mouths, delighting in the fact that they were finally free to act on their feelings.

The playful elation faded some, when those lips of his moved to her jawline, then to her ear, where his teeth nipped at her skin. A shiver ran down her body at the sensation and her hips moved against him without volition. She grabbed his hair, using it to pull his mouth back to hers and his hands found her waist, guiding the way she rocked against him, until she could feel just how badly he wanted her.

She moaned into their kiss and his palms cupped the cheeks of her ass, spreading her legs further, pulling her closer, until their movements were grinding the most sensitive part of her against the hardest part of him, driving her higher than she had been in a long time. To the point that she was in danger of orgasming right there on the couch.

"Wait," she gasped breathlessly, "Carisi-"

He immediately stilled and relaxed his hold on her.

"What's wrong?" he exhaled, trying to catch his own breath, "Did I do something that-"

She was shaking her head before he'd even finished, "No, no, God, no. This is...we're good."

She kissed him again, wanting to reassure him, "Mhmm. Yeah, good. So good."

English. She needed to remember English.

"But the girls," she murmured, even as her lips found his again, "The girl's might...we should…"

Her tongue had gone on a vacation.

"Bedroom," she finally got out, and understanding crossed his features.

"Oh. Right. Yeah, good call," he kissed her once more, then tapped her leg so she could get up.

Balance was out of the question for either of them, as they held each other and stumbled their way across the living room, mouths and hands finding each other again. But when they reached her bedroom and she shut the door behind them, Carisi sombered.

"Amanda, you sure you wanna do this tonight? I don't want you to feel like you hafta'...I mean, I'm not expecting anything, if you don't-"

"Dominick," she smiled.

"Yeah?"

"Shut up and kiss me."

He smirked back, and crossed the small space between them, "Just makin' sure. Considerin' our jobs, can ya blame me?"

"I don't," she promised, "But I figured the consent was obvious at this point."

His hands lifted to the sides of her neck, tilting her head up to meet his stare, "Still nice to hear."

She grinned wickedly, "You want explicit consent, Counselor? I could tell you in detail what you're allowed to do to me."

"Mhm," his eyes darkened, "We can revisit that. But for now, how about what you don't like? So I know what to avoid."

"Carisi-"

"Humor me," he told her, dropping a kiss onto the tip of her nose, "And I'll make it up to you by doing all the things you do like."

His voice was filled with the same confidence he brought to the courtroom, and it was absolutely working for her.

"It's not a big list," she admitted, and let her eyes drop to his chest. She brought a hand up to play with the fabric there, "I'm okay with the regular stuff, and I'm open to new stuff, as long as we talk about it first. You can be rough if you want, but if you pull my hair, grab it from the base and not the ends. I don't like hickeys in places my clothes can't cover, and if you ever use names, I don't like bitch, slut, or whore. Aside from that…"

She shrugged, feeling a burn in her cheeks. Carisi's finger brushed under her chin, forcing her gaze back to his.

"Thank you," he said, and the expression was sincere. He really did want to know these things. She wasn't sure why that suddenly made her want to cry.

"Tid for tad," she told him, deflecting a little, "Your turn."

He smiled, almost innocently, "What you said before, about telling me what you want in detail. I like that. I like communication, from both sides. I like to hear it, and I like to tell you how it feels when I'm inside you."

Oh God.

"I'd also like to watch you touch yourself sometimes, too, and to see ya on top of me," he continued, "And I don't want you to eva' feel like you have to hide your body from me. Mostly, I'm good if you are. If you're into it, I will be, too...Oh, and I like the way my shirt looks on you."

Amanda let out a quiet laugh at that last one, and there were a hundred other things she wanted to say. How surprised she was that this sweet Catholic lawyer was so blunt about his expectations. How much of a turn on that fact was for her, and how she wanted to explore every single side of what they had both shared, but it was late and for now, she just wanted his hands on her before she combusted from the desire she felt.

"I bet you'd like it even better off of me," she said instead, with a flirty smile, and thankfully Carisi took the hint, "I guess we'd betta' find out."

He took his time, now that they were one hundred percent on the same page. He drew her back in, kissing her slowly. Part of Amanda wanted to take charge and flip them onto the bed, but there was so much tenderness in the way he caressed her, that she let her body relax into him, trusting that he would get her where she wanted to be.

The T-shirt and sweatpants he'd changed into before coming to her apartment were easier to get her hands under than his suit would have been, and for that she was thankful, no matter how good he'd looked in the three-piece. As Carisi kissed down her neck, she ran her fingers beneath his shirt, raking her nails against his surprisingly tight stomach, down to the waistband of his pants. When her palm brushed over his forming erection, he made a noise against her skin that electrified her entire body.

The next thing she knew, they were moving and her back was on her mattress. Carisi was hovering over her, and his eyes flickered to hers before he grabbed the edge of her shorts and pulled the things down her legs, along with her panties. Leaving her shirt, well his shirt, in place, Carisi slid down between her thighs, looping his arms beneath her legs and getting all sorts of comfortable. Like a man who wasn't planning on going anywhere for a very long time.

Amanda grabbed onto his shoulders as he started peppering kisses along her hips and thighs. His teeth would follow his lips, causing little jolts of pleasure as he bit gently at her skin, only to soothe the marks over with his tongue. This mantra repeated along her inner thighs, until she was squirming, and so damn turned on, he could probably see how wet she was.

"You like that, Rollins?" he asked, kissing the junction of her leg and torso, so close to where she needed him to be.

"Yes," she murmured breathlessly.

He hummed against her inner thigh, nudging closer to her center with his nose, "But you'd like it betta', here, wouldn't you?"

Out of nowhere, his tongue pressed against her, completely lapping between her folds, and swirling around her clit. Amanda's hand flew to her mouth, muffling the cry that slipped out of her lips.

"Yeah, that's where you want me," Carisi sounded pleased with her reaction, and repeated the motion once more.

Then again, and again.

He and his talented mouth were way too quick of a study. Not that that should surprise her. And he drove her to the edge over and over, figuring out all the things that made her go crazy, and pulling back just before she peaked.

And he talked. God, did he talk.

From the first day they met, she knew he had a runaway mouth and while on the job it had the tendency to become borderline obnoxious, but in the bedroom...holy shit.

He made that tongue work for him.

He told her how wet she was...how good she tasted. He told her about the ways he couldn't wait to stretch her open with more than just his fingers and tongue. He told her how beautiful she looked, hanging on the edge of orgasm, how pretty her pussy was, glistening for him. The closer she got to finishing, the dirtier his words became, until she heard her own voice responding back to him, and knew they'd both have to go to confession next Sunday.

"Yes, please, Dominick, god, yes. I want you inside of me, please. Fuck me, please."

The words poured out, non filtered thoughts, running off her tongue exactly as they entered her brain, and she was practically a whimpering mess by the time he finally complied.

His mouth pressed against hers as he crawled back up her body and she sucked her own taste off his tongue. That elicited a moan from him as well, and the sound was so sexual, she almost came then and there. But she couldn't just yet...she wanted to feel all of him first.

"Carisi," she begged against his lips, "Please."

"I've got you," he promised, repeating the words he'd once spoken to her, now under much better circumstances, and with a few movements he had aligned their bodies.

She felt the tip of him pressing against her, and appreciated, so much, that his eyes once again sought hers, searching for any sign of doubt or a changed mind.

To assure him that she was completely ready take this step with him, Amanda reached between them, and took his erection into her hand, stroking him once...twice.

"'Manda," he said heatedly, but didn't push forward, "There's a condom in my bag. I should grab it before-"

"I'm clean, and I'm on the pill," she told him, not wanting to waste another second, "After Billie, I….yeah. Just to be safe. So, if you want the condom, that's fine, but...it's okay if you don't."

He arched his brow, "You sure?"

She nodded, "I trust you."

That was all the confirmation he needed, and with one more kiss to her lips, he relaxed back into her, and she guided him to her entrance.

For all the porn talk between her legs, Carisi entered her slowly, carefully, his own pleasure masked behind the concern in his eyes as he watched her face, giving her every chance to back out, even as he sheathed himself entirely within her.

The sensations of not only having a man inside of her after so long, but that man being him...were otherworldly. Every part of her felt stretched and full and so damn good. Carisi gave her a moment to adjust, to stop, to do anything, before slowly moving inside of her.

His name left her lips in a whisper, and her fingers dug into his hair. With that encouragement, he finally gave into the pleasure, and let his body take over.

Amanda could only cling to him, legs wrapped tightly around his waist, as he fucked her into the mattress. She wasn't sure how long they were joined together, but she knew when her orgasm finally crashed over her, robbing her of thought and breath and the ability to speak coherently.

Carisi's mouth left hers so he could watch her fall apart, and he slowed down just enough to let her ride out the sensations without over stimulating her. She took advantage of the moment to flip them, so that she was on top, straddling his hips.

Making a show of it, she stripped off the shirt she was still wearing, revealing the rest of her body to him, and fought off the wave of self consciousness that overcame her when his hands touched her belly, stroking what stretch marks remained from her pregnancy, and running along her C-section scar.

But his eyes found hers and were so full of emotion, it chased everything else away. She rocked her hips and his head fell back, giving her the confidence she needed to continue thrusting against him.

Carisi's hands gripped her hips, his fingers digging in harder as he grew closer, and she felt her own build up rush forward. She grappled for his hand and brought it against her center, keeping pace with her movement.

"Finish me," she commanded, and he didn't have to be told twice. The pads of his fingers stroked her clit, finding the perfect amount of pressure, and she rode his fingers as well as his cock, until they were both coming undone.

Watching Carisi orgasm was a sight she was never going to get out of her head.

Even when they had finished, and had taken a breath before stumbling into the bathroom to shower and clean up, Amanda was still seeing his head thrown back, lips parted, eyes half closed and a look of complete adoration on his face.

"I love you," she whispered, when they were back in the bed, laying half dressed under the sheets.

Carisi was stroking her skin, petting her all over, as if he couldn't get enough of the feel of her. As if he'd been dreaming of doing this for years...and hell, maybe he had.

His eyes, which had begun to close, opened once more. His hand found her face and his thumb traced over her cheekbone.

"I love you, too," he said, a disbelieving awe still coloring his voice.

Amanda smiled, and snuggled deeper into his chest, "I'm so happy that you're here...that we are here."

She felt the gentle press of his lips against the top of her head.

"Me too, 'Manda. Me, too."

This is kinda how I see their first time in the bedroom going, considering what they do for a living, but also how they feel for each other. Passionate and practical. lol