Chapter Four

"For the last thing today, we're gonna talk about something I hope is interesting and helpful, and that's appearances. Humans, and most organics in fact, can't change our appearances without outside influence." Class was in full swing. While sure, the things I was saying might have seemed basic to another human, to gems that had inherent shapeshifting and clothing-forming powers, this was totally new.

Thus far, It'd been two and a half weeks. I was getting the hang of this whole thing. Life was pretty good on Little Homeworld. My budget wasn't exactly big but I didn't need to pay rent or utilities (Gemtech made energy costs staggeringly low and easy to handle), so despite the somewhat low pay (I have no idea who's funding this, maybe the gems are selling tech or something) I have it pretty easy money-wise. I even got free food sometimes from Peridot and Lapis's combined agricultural efforts. They seemed to really enjoy plants.

And teaching was turning out to be a whole lotta fun.

"Gems generally have some inherent ability- clothing phasing, shapeshifting, changing appearances after poofing, and so on, but humans don't have those." I gestured to my dress, and the cute tomboyish cap I was wearing. "This is not part of my body, the way a gem's outfit sort of is. I have to physically remove it and put on a different one if I want to wear something more practical. But from what I understand, humans do have a little more… flexibility. "

I grinned a little, gripping my hat, and whipping it off with a flourish, shaking out my length of bright bubblegum pink hair. Just about half the jaws in the rooms drop. "For example, with just a little time and some harmless chemical pigments, I can do this with my hair!"

I have to admit, the little dramatic flair felt good. The gems looked much more invested now, as I tucked the cap back on, no longer hiding my hair.

"Dye, tattoos, makeup, jewelry, clothes… These things can range from symbolic and important, to the superficial." I gestured at my hair. "This has no deep meaning, but humans may choose to adorn, mark, or color themselves in ways that actually mean something. I didn't choose pink for any real reason, I just thought it might look good."

The class looks somewhere between startled and amazed. Pearl had told me beforehand that gems couldn't change certain aspects of their appearance easily. Their skin and hair color could change, but it generally took time and specific focus, even to the point of fully changing personality.

"Looks can inform a lot about someone. Perhaps not enough to get an in-depth reading on what they're like, but you can get a thing or two about them…" I gestured at the board. "That'll be more stuff to discuss tomorrow, since we're almost outta time for today. But, hopefully you think about it a little! Looks can have meaning for humans and gems, so the question is, how are those meanings different?"

The clock turned, and time was up. I waved goodbye, wishing everyone a good day as they filtered out, a bustle of noise, sighing with a grin, as I hopped off the desk to my teacher's chair, spinning in it childishly.

"Why pink?" And on the floor I go. At least it wasn't Spinel catching me doing something embarrassing, it was Amethyst, who was laughing her ass off at the sight of me having fallen over.

"Just felt like it. Also because I asked my friends to pick for me. My options were pink, black, blue or red, and I mostly just wanted to do a cool dramatic thing." I grinned up at the shorter gem from the floor, before twisting around to my feet. "So I let my pals pick."

"Hmm… I wonder if that dye stuff would work on gem hair…" Amethyst hummed. "It didn't work on my tongue when I drank a bunch of it…"

Ew.

"I don't recommend feeding that to humans. Probably would be pretty bad for 'em." I chuckled.

Amethyst just blew a raspberry.

"Ppff. Well whatever." She flopped over a desk, groaning. "I already know most of this kinda stuff, I'm like, the most human gem, I'm just here to chaperone. Which is gross ."

"Me or the other gems here?" I grinned. Amethyst sat up with a smirk.

"Both. We got some rowdy gems in Little Homeworld. Quartzes like me really like to break stuff…"

"I have a much scarier weapon than force against a gem who breaks something in my classroom." My grin twitches a bit higher. "And that's a single sentence that strikes fear into the hearts of students across the world…"

"Oh?" Amethyst tipped her head with a sardonic grin.

I leaned in, resting my hands on the desk, making my expression cool and flat and allowing my tone to become chilling.

" See me after class ."

Amethyst paused, her smile half-faded.

" Wow. " She breathed. "That wasn't even said seriously and it still freaked me out."

"It's the gift all good teachers have." I smiled, resting my chin on my hands. "We can be terrifying . Only the librarians hold more power with their glares, and the power of their shushes."

"Well, whatever yer doing it seems to be working. Pretty much any gem that has more than a passing interest in humans is here now." Amethyst yawned, flopping back. "Doesn't mean that they still need help doing other stuff… Guess thousands of years of just blind obedience really does a number on ya. So glad I can't relate."

"Hm." I frowned, pushing some things into my bag slowly. "Blind obedience… Urgh. Leaves a nasty taste."

"What, you can relate?" Amethyst looked up, curiosity in her gaze.

"Kinda. Not to the same extreme, but… I used to be pretty dumb about doing what others thought was best for me… Let's uh, leave it at that."

I felt uncomfortable. Thinking back about how things used to be … ugh. Gross thoughts. I was feeling awkward, so I bid Amethyst a hasty farewell, and headed outside. It was early evening, so the sun would be down soon, which meant I could be out and about without fear of reprisal from that malevolent fire circle in the sky. Still, until then, shade and sunscreen. The cap was cute, but it didn't give me as much shade as the sunhat did.

I headed for a little copse of trees just near the edge of Little Homeworld. A nice, cool shady spot, a little secluded, and, best of all, I had found a little spot that I could perfectly nestle myself against a tree and just relax in the shade with a book, or my phone, or whatever.

"...Hmm, I should bring my guitar out here…" I mused to myself. "I'm rusty…"

I didn't feel like going back to the apartment and returning to the trees tonight, so for now I dug a book out of my bag.

Ah, yes, terribly written trashy queer romance. Food for the soul.

I soon found myself lost within the throes of corny lesbian drama. It set my rattled mind at ease, and distracted me from thoughts of "blind obedience" and other unpleasant concepts that tended to seep in alongside it.

This book is so bad but I love it and I want the protagonists to have a happy ending and if the book takes a sad turn I will scream .

I think I might scream because it suddenly got a bit darker, and the sun is still up, sooo…

I lift my head, hoping that the light reflected off my glasses hid the fact that I was a little terrified. Because the gem in front of me is huge .

"...Can I help you?" I ask. Wow, I think this gem has intimidated me so much that I've gone from terror to just fully numb.

"Hm. No." She growled, voice rumbling like an earthquake. "But you can tell me what you're doing here."

"Reading." I said flatly. "It's a nice evening, the shade protects my skin, I like the feel of the cool breeze on my skin, and I like to read books where girls kiss."

The gem silently raised an eyebrow, the contempt in her face evident. I felt the fear give way to irritation.

"What?" I snapped.

Somehow, my little mini-outburst seemed to amuse the massive gem, who just turned her back on me. "Hmph. Just wondering how much of a waste of time the latest "new thing on Little Homeworld" was. Now I know."

"Whatever. Are you trying to prove something?" I rolled my eyes, shifting a bit. "Well you're not gonna get far with that attitude. Maybe you'll learn that on your own, though, I won't bother lecturing you."

"You already are." She deadpanned.

"And I'm stopping now." I scoffed a bit, returning my eyes to my book. "Now, if you don't mind, Leah and Riley are about to have a misunderstanding and I need to mentally mock how dumb they're being and how all their problems would be solved if they just talked."

I could tell she was leaving by the sounds of her stomping off. Er… Maybe she wasn't stomping, maybe she was just so heavy that that's how she walked.

I feel strangely like I came dangerously close to something bad. I think numbly. I don't think I've seen her before. A gem of that size, with hair like that and the telltale corruption stripes…? Yeah I would probably have remembered if I'd seen her before. She must avoid areas where people are.

"Woah. I thought I was gonna have t' keep ya from getting smashed for a sec."

And I just yelped.

Great going Ying. I can handle terrifying giant slightly hostile gems fine, but a cute stretchy friendly girl surprises you, and you squeal like a frightened rat.

"S-spinel! How- how long have you been there?"

"Since I saw Jasper lookin at ya." She shrugged, dangling from the tree. Well, her hands were up in the tree, her feet were only a few inches from the ground. "She looked real puzzled by ya. People don't really talk to her so I got no clue what she wanted. Must not have cared that much!"

She dropped to the ground, grinning at me. "But, y'know. Thought I'd keep an eye on ya, juuuust in case it got bad."

"I get the feeling she wouldn't bother." I snorted, putting on a brave face. "As long as I didn't directly antagonize her, anyway. Still, I appreciate the concern, eheh."

Spinel plopped herself down next to me. "Well, you're like, a pretty good friend! So y'know! Bein' concerned is like, a thing friends do, right?"

"I'd hope so." I giggle, tucking a bookmark into the novel and setting it aside. "Otherwise all the times I've been worried about my friends and vice versa would have been real weird."

Spinel glanced at the book curiously. It had a pretty plain cover, just the title and two girls kissing.

Yeah it's not exactly subtle.

"What… are they doing?" Spinel might have been blushing a bit.

"Uh, it's uh…" Well, I am a teacher. "A show of affection. Of sorts. Romantic affection."

"Oh. Ohhhhhhh!" Oh good, Romance isn't utterly alien to gems. She seemed to quickly grasp what I meant. "That stuff is… well not rare or anything, but I think gems don't do the whole romance thing as much as humans do…"

"Guess not. I don't imagine gems have much romantic fiction on offer either." I giggle. "This… This author isn't very good but there's something about her books that I just can't stay away from…"

"Hmm. I think it's like those human shows Peridot watches. I don't really get them but her and Lapis are hooked on these shows…"

"You'd have to narrow it down. There's a lot of stuff to watch that's badly made, or badly written, or anything like that, yet oddly appealing." I hug the book a little. "Also, they're like six bucks a copy, so its an easy way to get more entertainment without going for fanfiction…"

"Fanfiction?"

Uh oh. Abort. Abort. Abort this train of conversation now.

"Uh. Don't, don't worry about it. Long story." Oh geez .

Spinel grinned impishly. Oh no .

"Well, I like long stories!" She leaned in. Oh god, she's making fun of me . Damn it, of course she'd be perceptive enough to notice that I'm trying to change topic…

"Uh, well, I mean, It's not really… a long story, just a rabbit hole."

"I have no idea what that means."

"Oh, it's an idiom. We spent like, three days on idioms."

"Oh, right! Well, anyway… What's fanfiction?"

"Alright, geez!" I laughed. Spinel had been stretching her neck closer with each bit of back-and-forth, and was now uncomfortably close to my face. "Personal space please. Fanfiction is just stories people write about other stories… Like, you watch a movie, then write a story of your own about the characters of said story, then put the story online usually…"

"Huh...That's not so weird." Spinel retracted her head to it's normal position.

"You'd think so." I grinned sheepishly. "But humans have this uncanny knack for making things uh… really weird."

"Like you?" Spinel was grinning, eyes lidded sardonically.

"Excuse me?" I crossed my arms.

"You keep acting a lil weird whenever I talk to ya. So… What's up?"

"Uh." I blinked, nerves rattled. "Well um, let me uh… start by reassuring that you did not in fact do something wrong or anything like that…" I nervously tapped my fingers together. "I just… get… anxious sometimes…"

"So…" Spinel looked… kind of relieved. "I don't… scare you, or anything?"

"No! Not at all." I quickly blurt, looking up at her in shock. "Why would you scare me?"

"I, uh…" She sighed. "Okay, okay, look… I… did a really really horrible thing when I… first came to earth…" Spinel sank down slowly on the grass next to me, hugging her knees. "I… kind of… tried to kill Steven… And the gems... And this planet. I… I was really messed up. I still am messed up, just… less messed up."

"Oh, you're messed up too?" I asked with a crooked smile, giving her a nudge. I was kind of reeling to be honest. Destroy the world? How…? Spinel giggled a bit, but it faded quickly.

"...Yeah, okay. We're friends, and… Garnet and Steven both say I gotta be honest with friends. And I do trust them, so… Okay." Spinel spun her arms around her body, hugging herself with an anxious look on her face.

I turned, shifting so I was facing her, giving Spinel my full attention. "Okay." I said softly. "Tell me as much as you feel like you should. At least, of what you feel comfortable telling me, I mean."

Spinel smiled. "Geez, ya make this way too easy…"

For a moment, she sat in silence, steadying herself. Gems didn't need to breathe, but they could, and Spinel was taking some slow, deep breaths to steady herself. I waited. She definitely needed a minute before telling me this.

I imagine I'd have a hard time talking about my own history too.

"Okay. So this story starts a long long time ago. Before gems even came to earth…" Spinel began, speaking slowly. "Spinels like me are made to be companions and entertainers… There aren't many of us; we're kind of a pain to make properly, and in Era One, there were very few gems who would have them…" She unraveled her arms so I could see her gem, shining even in the shade of the trees. "And I was made almost perfect."

"Perfect?" I blinked, confused.

"Gems used to be judged by their cut- the physical quality of them when they emerge." Spinel explained. "Basically, uh, since gems are made for certain things, if a gem has natural abilities that are good for doing that thing, that gem would have been valued more, at least back before Steven.

"Anyway, I was a pretty rare one. I'm not trying to like, brag or nothin' I don't really care, but physically? My gem was a perfect-cut." She gave a weak chuckle, stretching her fingers into a pretzel. "That's partly why shapeshiftin' is so easy for me, and why I'm really strong even for a gem not made to fight…"

"I didn't know that last one." I noted dryly. "Haven't actually seen you do stuff that requires being strong."

"Oh! Ehehe, guess not." Spinel giggled. "Well, uh, take my word for it. Or-!" Without further warning, I was suddenly being lifted easily into the air by a single arm, looped neatly around my waist.

"Whoa! Okay, uh I mean lots of gems could do that, but I see your point!"

Spinel was laughing as she put me down.

"Sorry. Trying to cope with talking about this stuff."

"Being funny to cope. It works." I smiled a little.

"Anyway… If a gem like me came out perfect cut… I'm sure you can guess what kind of place I'd belong."

"Uh, well… A rare example of a rare gem? I guess only to like... the super-elite gems, right?"

"Yeaaaah…" Spinel nervously rubbed the back of her head. "You could, you could say that. You could even say one of the most super-elite ever? I… was made for Pink Diamond."

That was a name even I knew about. The amount of baggage behind that name was the stuff of legends. Earth, the current state of gems, hell, the last… what, five thousand years of human and gem history? All thanks to Pink Diamond, more or less.

So yeah. Already I had a feeling that whatever this was, it wasn't exactly small.

"I was… made to be her friend." Spinel smiled, but it was incredibly bitter and sad, devoid of any kind of joy. "That's… what I was supposed to be, but…" She took a few deep breaths. "I guess I wasn't-" Then suddenly she stopped and smacked herself on both cheeks. "No. No, I said I'd stop blaming myself for that part. I… Pink wasn't a very good friend to me. There. That's what the gems say I should say."

I looked at her, feeling a knot of worry forming in my gut. I didn't like where this was going.

"She… Told me we were playing a game." Spinel finally murmured. "When she got earth, she… asked me to play a game, and that it just involved me staying in the garden and waiting."

For a long moment, Spinel remained silent.

"And the next time I heard anything from her was when Steven Universe dissolved the Gempire and created Era Three."

There was a sickly feeling writhing in my stomach. "She… She never went back for you?" I croaked softly.

"No. Never." Spinel's tone was blunt, soft.

"That's…"

"I know."

"And then you… tried to destroy earth."

"Yeah." Spinel murmured softly. "I… I went insane. The one person I was meant to make happy, to be friends with, to make smile, the only person I ever cared about… She just… threw me away when she got tired of me..."

"That's awful." I managed to mumble. Fuck that was stupid. That was-

Spinel leaned her head against my shoulder. Wh.

What.

What is happening.

"Sorry." She mumbles. "I just… Needed that."

I nodded, patting her hair. "Can I hug you?"

Spinel nodded, and I slowly wrapped my arms around her, squeezing her against me. She was… surprisingly soft for a being made of hard light. I pet her hair gently, and she sighed.

"I was in a bad bad state for a while, and I said and did a lot of terrible things. I… I was angry, and sad, and lashing out and I hurt people… I… I could have done worse . I'm glad I didn't, but… Steven made me want to try to change." She sighed, nestled against me. "So I… moved to Homeworld. Lived with the other diamonds. It helped, but eventually I started to just… not get better? I was having… bad thoughts, just not about other people anymore."

"About yourself?" I asked softly.

"Yeah." Spinel nodded. "You um, you have those too?"

"Pretty often." I weakly admitted. "I… Have problems with… things like that."

"Well uh… Anyway, that's when they suggested I come to earth, actually. It kinda surprised me, they can be… clingy." She giggled nervously. "But the Diamonds said that a lot of gems felt like earth, or maybe just the things on earth changed them for the better so… If I wanted to change, then…"

"Huh. Sounds like they care about you."

"Yeah. I think so. They needed someone to care about." Spinel nodded a bit, still kind of clinging to me. "So… I came here. And then you showed up."

"And then I showed up." I grinned a bit. "So… Can I ask something?"

"Mm?" Spinel raised her head, finally removing herself from the hug.

"Is… that where these came from?" I tentatively gestured to her cheeks. Spinel lowered her gaze and nodded.

"Mhm. I don't think I… put them there consciously, exactly? They just kind of… Well, I kept them, anyway. I think… They're like, tear marks, right? So… I um, decided I wanted them to stay. Because if I got rid of em it'd be like I was pretending it never happened."

"Well…" I said carefully. "I do think they look nice on you. And I can appreciate blatant symbolism." I grinned. Spinel stared for a moment, then chortled.

"Just like class today, huh…?" She hummed, wiping a tear away. I couldn't tell if it was from the giggle-fit or from telling her story.

"Hey um… I'm glad you told me all of this." I murmured, fiddling with my book a little. "I mean… that you trust me enough to tell me."

Spinel rubbed the back of her head. "Aw, geez, well, what are friends for, if not t' unload all a' yer trauma onto them?" She glanced at me to make sure that the joke landed, and I gave a smile. Maybe an uneasy one, but a smile. "Besides, you're pretty swell and I figured you deserved to know that I'm- I was pretty awful. I… dunno if I'm good yet, but I'm less bad, and if you're not sure about bein' friends still I'd totally understand why ya'd feel that way, so…"

I laughed a little, gently taking Spinel's hand. "Still friends." I gave a little thumbs up.

Spinel's smile was more real now, looking relieved. "Phew, good, because I probably woulda cried if ya didn't wanna stay friends!"

"Oh geez, I dunno how I'd handle that…"

Poorly, Ying. You would handle that poorly.

It was dark by now, so we began making our way back into Little Homeworld. Despite gems not needing sleep, things got a lot quieter at night. Perhaps it was just the atmosphere. There was still a little bustle. Gems wandering the town, doing little chores, stargazing on rooftops, or just lazing about happily.

It was peaceful. I was still trying to process everything Spinel had told me, and how it fit in to Steven Universe and his mother, and everything.

I really gotta meet that kid.

I also realized, much to my startled surprise that we were still holding hands and felt a panic begin to creep into my stomach. I forced it down. No. No gay panic right now Ying. Just revel in the moment.

Spinel didn't even seem to notice until we reached my building and we had to actually let go. She flushed, a darker magenta than usual, glancing away sheepishly. "Uh…! Sorry. Eheh. I'm uh, very… touch-oriented."

"Ah, don't worry about it." I smiled honestly, amazed that I wasn't a stuttering mess. I was still reeling a bit from Spinel's story. "Just glad you're okay."

"Yeah. I am okay." She grinned and nodded. "Thanks. For listening. And talking to me. I really needed that."

"Anytime." I waved a little, glad for the dark keeping my blush at least a bit harder to see. "You take care of yourself, yeah? Have a good night."

"Night, Ying." Spinel paused, staring oddly for a moment, before she turned and began to leave, giving me a final wave over her shoulder.

That was odd.

I didn't feel much urge to talk to my friends tonight. Usually it was a daily thing, but today I just couldn't muster the energy. I love the idiots but they are a chore . Instead, I set my bags down, did my nightly routine, and finally flopped down on the bed with a long sigh.

I don't know much about her, but I think I might really dislike Pink Diamond.