Chapter Eight
I awoke the next morning with a start, gasping. I must have dozed off on the couch. I blame the very comfy pillow my head was resting on.
Wait, that… was not a pillow.
That was Spinel's lap.
Oh geez. That's…
I opened my eyes and looked up at her.
She was… asleep?
When did that happen? I didn't know Spinel slept.
Her hair was down, too, which was a bit surreal. I was so used to the spiky pigtails, that seeing her hair loosely around her shoulders like that was a bit jarring.
God, I know she's an alien but how could she be so pretty?
Ugh, I've been watching her sleep. Way to go, Ying, you're a creep now.
I remained there, not really wanting to move- both because her lap was comfy, but also because I didn't want to wake Spinel. Instead, I dug my phone out. Oh geez, that was a number of texts.
Pearl had texted me. Mostly because of what Spinel had messaged them about, about Peony. Sounded like she was effectively persona non grata as far as the Crystal Gems were concerned . It was comforting, knowing that they had my back.
With no classes, it was nice to rest. Especially just resting there, with my head in Spinel's lap.
That's… probably weird. This was super weird of me. I don't remember putting my head there. Did I pass out last night, and Spinel just moved my head here?
Well, whatever the case, I felt a lot safer than I did last night.
She really does care about me.
That doesn't mean anything, she did say you're her "best friend"
Being best friends is still good!
And then came the intrusive thoughts.
Yes but you, ever the hopeless romantic, will still always want it a step further, huh?
I sighed, pushing my hair into my face. The color I had dyed it was fading, slowly, and instead of pink it was simply tinged with a bit of pink.
Who'd ever want to be with you anyway, freak?
My fingers began to curl, breathing getting heavier, shaking a little, gripping at handfuls of my hair, hiding behind it, pulling at it.
Peony's right, you're hopeless.
My thoughts were getting way too loud. Breathing was becoming uneven. I couldn't focus, I couldn't-
A hand gently landed on my shoulder and I jolted violently with a shaky little gasp.
"Hey, hey, hey…!" Spinel's voice was shaking, and I snapped my head up a little, hair falling away from my eyes to see her worried expression. "Ying? Hello? C-can ya hear me?"
"Y-yes…" I managed to croak, my voice hoarse and rough. Spinel nervously exhaled.
"Stars, I've been calling yer name for almost two minutes. You um, okay?"
"Fine." I managed, taking a few deep breaths, trying to remember the various tricks I had picked up. "Fine now. Panic attack. Just a little one."
"Do ya get those often?" She frowned nervously.
"Sometimes. I get um… I get real spun up by things and it kind of just stays in my head for a while until it gets too much and tends to kind of… come out all at once."
"And you… panic?" Spinel asked, a little uncertainly. I nodded.
"Yeah. I usually just have to… let them pass. I have to compartmentalize and try and focus on just small specific things. Like, I'll count things I can feel or see or hear…" I sit up slowly. "But having someone bring me out of it helps a lot."
"I um… So if that happens again and I'm nearby…?"
"Just um, talk to me, I guess." I grinned weakly. "And uh, hugs are good too. It depends on the person but just being… not restrained exactly, but… held, I guess... It helps me. Kind of… grounds me. Just ask first if I'm freaking out like that, just so I'm not surprised."
"Okay." Spinel nodded. "I'll keep that in mind then."
For a moment, we remained quiet. It was a much more pleasant silence than when I just woke up. Finally I glanced up at her.
"I didn't know you slept."
"It's… kind of a recent thing." Spinel laced her fingers awkwardly. "It helps me when there's too many things going on in my head. It's nice sometimes, to just… empty your head and do nothing."
"It's like, one of the major benefits of sleep. Aside from, y'know, how we humans die if we don't do it enough."
Spinel laughed and I grinned to myself.
For a little bit longer, we just lay there in silence until there was a knock at the door and I just about fell off the couch, eyes wide. "If that's Peony again I'm gonna break her nose." I announced firmly, praying to god that I actually had the fortitude to do that. This time I actually used the peephole, and sighed with relief. "No, just the twins."
I opened the door, dreading allowing them in, but offering a weak smile. "Hey guys…"
The pair practically swept me inside with them.
"Hey girl!" Jack grinned, ruffling my hair as Jez hopped up, sitting on a counter. "Doing better today? We had to ask around which apartment you were in, ya never told us."
"I have a phone." I flatly replied, pushing his hand off my head with a grin. "You could always have… called me. Or texted, or messaged, or, really, lots of things."
Jez shrugged. "We rarely do think before acting, ya know."
"Sadly I do." I hummed, shaking my head. Spinel was draped over the back of the couch, offering the pair an awkward little wave.
"So, what's up? We heard little miss bitch followed you home." Jack said, serious now. I gave a weak nod.
"Yeah. She must have literally been tailing behind us all the way here…" I groaned. "I guess as far as the gems are concerned she's now banned from this place, or at least from the building, anyway… Spinel almost killed her."
"I wasn't gonna kill her!" Spinel protested, waving her arms a bit. "I just… scared her, that's all."
"I literally thought you were gonna yank out that scythe you have." I giggled weakly. "It was kind of awesome watching her actually scared for her life, especially when you and Diopside started threatening her to leave."
Spinel flushed, rubbing the back of her head. "I just… Wanted to help my friend…"
"Aww." Jez and Jack chorused, and I shot them a glare. As usual, it had no impact.
"Did she still have my gum in her hair?" Jez cackled.
"Oh- oh my god she did!" I burst out laughing. "I forgot all about it because I was so freaked out by her being there but she totally did! God, she must be furious now, she spends hours on those fucking curls."
"If she comes back, we'll grab her by the arms and you can shave her." Jack winked. "Seriously, though, are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm alright, more or less. Spinel and I just kinda sat on the couch all night until I just sorta… passed out there." I decided to avoid mentioning that I passed out with my head in her lap because I know for a fact that Jack and Jez would NEVER shut the hell up about it if I did.
Despite me not saying a word, they were both grinning and I grimaced.
"I don't like those smiles." I warned.
The smiles just grew wider.
"Sooo, Spinel!" Jez drawled, that relentless shit-eating grin wide on her face. "What's the deal with you and Ying? I mean you said she was like the best friend you had or whatever but…"
"Uh… I dunno I mean…" Spinel shifted a bit, drawing her knees up to her chest. "We just kinda bumped into each other and started talking and just kinda… clicked?"
"Pretty much." So far the questions were innocent but knowing the twins, hey'd get prodding soon… "My glasses got knocked off and she found them."
Jack made a mock swooning gesture. "Lifting the lenses to her face, Ying's eyes fell upon a mysterious stranger…!"
"Oh no." I groaned.
"What is he doing?" Spinel raised an eyebrow.
"He's a theater kid." Jez shrugged.
"Could this be a mere chance encounter? Or was it fated to become more?" Jack continued with a flourish, whipping his hat off.
Jez groaned. "Oh god, he's still going."
"A meeting that would go down in history! But was it merely friendship? Or could it be… a blossoming roma-Mmfmg !"
I lunged across the room and grabbed him, slamming a palm across his mouth. " That is very much enough of that thank you. "
"Mmf." He grumbled, and I released him from my grip. "You're no fun."
"She's fun." Spinel grinned. "I mean I hang out with her, so obviously she must be somewhat fun."
Jez rolled her eyes, muttering to me quietly. "Just friends, huh?"
"Shut up please." I hissed. I could actually feel my temperature going up from blushing so much. These two were the worst sometimes.
Jack flipped his hat onto his head, shrugging. "I suppose she is. Anyway we wanted to pop in and make sure you were alright, so it's good to see that you are."
"Yep. And to see if we needed to beat Peony up but it seems like she's run off for real this time." Jez rolled her eyes. "I guess she got scared by the angry space ladies."
"Let me guess. She did that whole "You can't survive without me" bullshit again, like when you first broke up?"
I grimaced a little, nodding. "Yeah. I know it's not true, but god, it gets in my head."
Suddenly, I was wrapped in a hug from either side, both twin quickly squeezing me.
"Well you're clearly doing great without her." Jack nodded firmly.
"Mhm. You kick ass girl." Jez agreed.
I definitely wasn't fighting back tears. Not happening.
God damn it, I was crying a little.
"How do you two do that?" I mumbled, scrubbing my face.
"Do what?" They chorused, letting go.
"That thing where you go from joking and goofs to suddenly all serious and sweet and making me cry?" I mumbled. The duo smiled. It wasn't their usual trouble-smile, it was gentler, more honest.
"Life is funny, so we laugh at it." Jack shrugged. "But some things aren't funny."
"Yeah." Jez nodded. "Terrible things can be funny, but that takes time, and you haven't had that much time."
"Anyone can be a prankster or a trickster, but a good one knows when its time to be serious."
"And when it comes to someone hurting? It's time to be serious."
God dammit, these two were the best . Jez leaned in to whisper in my ear.
"Also, if you pay me twenty bucks I won't tell Spinel you have a huge crush on her."
God dammit, these two were the worst.
"Sooo… We were gonna hang out today, buuuut… stuff kind of happened." Jack sheepishly rubbed his head. "Still wanna do that, Ying?"
I nodded, smiling. "Yeah. After all, I don't see you doofuses all that often anymore, what with living six hours away."
"Oh god, we gotta drive back tomorrow morning." Jez groaned. "I am so glad Sunny and I brought our Switches…"
Spinel awkwardly stood. "Umh, so… I'm gonna… uh… head out?" She looked… weird. She had a weird expression on her face.
"Are you okay?" I frowned a little, tilting my head. "You seem kind of unhappy all of a sudden."
"It's just baggage again." She smiled weakly. "Issues."
"If you're sure." I felt a little worried, but I returned her smile. "If you wanna talk about it later, though, we can."
"Thanks…" Spinel gave a little wave, heading for the hallway, closing the door behind her.
"Hey, thanks for taking care of our Ying." Jack smiled seriously. "You seem to be good for her."
Jez suddenly pushed me aside, shouting just before the door shut. " Ying totally has a huge crush on you! "
I squeaked, turning crimson, the door closing before I could see Spinel respond.
"W-wh-wh-" I choked in shock.
Jez smirked. "I did say, twenty bucks or else I'd tell."
"That's not cool! " I hissed, bristling. "Seriously?!"
"I... gotta agree sis." Jack frowned, rubbing the back of his head. "That seemed kinda mean. Too far."
Jez flinched a bit. "Ah…" Me being mad was one thing, but Jack was always Jez's barometer for whether her antics were too far or not. She at least had the grace to look guilty.
"You're lucky we're friends." I growled a bit. "I guess I gotta deal with that later."
"I'm… sorry." She mumbled, and I shook my head.
"I'm still pissed. But I guess I'll forgive you."
After that, we made some plans to meet up for lunch. Jez was a bit quiet, still a little guilty, but I did mean it when I said I forgave her. Jez had an awful time with self-control. It didn't absolve her of blame, but I knew she really did just want to help.
Eventually, the pair left, and I gave Jez a quick hug before she could slip out, hammering home that while yes, I was mad, it wasn't the end of the world.
The day went by uneventfully- even our lunch was pretty quiet, just chatting about our lives, music, jobs, everything in-between. Soon though, the time had come, and my friends had to get on their way home.
I hugged them, one by one, and the group began piling into the van once more.
"Seeya around Ying!" Sunny called from the window, poking her head out like a dog, and I laughed at the sight of her.
"See you guys. I really am glad I got to see ya all again. We need to do this another time." I waved, pushing my hat back so they could see my face clearly. I waved as they began to pull into the road, and began their way out of Beach City.
I sighed a little, leaning back against a wall. I loved them, but that band of mavericks were exhausting .
Now I just had to figure out what to do about Spinel.
Be honest with her I guess.
I had never actually been to Spinel's place. I knew where it was, I just hadn't been inside. Still, I decided to text her first just in case.
Me: hey, you doin ok? You seemed kind of stressed
Spinel: yeah im fine just a lil weird
Me: Ok. Lemme know if you wanna talk.
Spinel: i do actually. about a couple things.
Fuuuuuck.
Me: Sure thing. Mind if I swing by?
Spinel: please do!
Welp. Guess I'm going there .
Spinel's apartment was pretty cozy actually. Plenty of furniture. There wasn't a proper kitchen or anything but it was inviting. She had a bunch of random odds and ends she had found laying around. A lot of toys and games.
Spinel was crouched on a chair, arms loosely curled around her legs, and I sat across from her.
"You okay?"
"Mhm? Oh! Uh, I just sit like this sometimes. It's, uh, kinda comforting." She shrugged. "Sorry for getting… weird earlier. I um. I guess this is gonna sound really weird but… I was kind of jealous, ahah…"
"Jealous?" I blinked.
"Of your friends." She clarified quietly. "I guess I'm not totally over the past. I'm uh, I'm better, but… I can be clingy when I care about someone."
"O-oh." I mentally kicked myself. Of course Spinel would be a little sensitive about that. I'm just glad that I didn't actually seem to hurt her feelings.
"But there's another thing too now." She looked me dead in the eye and I'm pretty sure my heart fucking stopped.
"Something that your friend said about a crush…?"
Fuck . I'm doomed .