A/N: Thank you SnidgetHex and pallysAramisRios for reviewing! Final chapter here.

Chapter 9

After numerous tests and conversations, and even a supervised encounter with Soji and Picard to see if Rios was playing along to deceive them all, he was finally released from the med bay. His head was still reeling from it all. He remembered fervently believing Soji and Picard were evil, and while he didn't feel that same conviction to murder them, he still felt unmoored, not sure what to believe. All he really knew was he couldn't trust himself.

So he immediately locked himself in his quarters and went to replicate a bottle of vodka. But he stopped before punching in the code into the replicator. He didn't want that fuzzy feeling in his brain again, didn't want to risk coming unhinged. No, he had to stay in control of his faculties. As much as was possible at this point.

So with an angry slap at the machine, he spun away and began to pace in agitation. All of the coping methods he'd honed over the past decade weren't going to help him now. Because even worse than knowing what he did, what he'd almost done, was what he'd lost. His old man had been back, even for just a short time—even if it hadn't been real. But it had felt real. Cris had gotten to talk to Alonzo again. Alonzo had told him he hadn't killed himself, which meant Cris hadn't driven his pops to suicide by his callous words in that fateful moment ten years ago. So now he was grieving the loss of his former captain all over again. The pain of that had nearly destroyed him back then; he felt like he would drown in it now.

His door chirped but he ignored it. It chirped a second time, then,

"Rios, let me in."

He flinched at the sound of Picard's voice. Why did the old man have to poke? Rios considered continuing to ignore him, but a burst of anger over everything made him slam the wall panel and open the door. Picard stepped inside.

"Should you be alone with me?" Rios said bitterly.

"I think I'm safe," Picard replied too casually.

Rios shook his head. "I wouldn't be so sure." He lowered his voice. "I'm not so sure."

"The fact that you're questioning it means you aren't going to act on those reprogramming beliefs," Picard replied. "I felt the same after I'd been rescued from the Collective. It was…a jarring readjustment."

Rios looked away, then tentatively asked, "Your consciousness was transferred to a synth body…how do you know your mind is still your own? That they haven't…changed you."

"I feel like myself." Picard paused and considered Rios. "Do you feel like yourself?"

He snorted. "I don't know who I am anymore. I can still remember—still feel—that other version, even while I logically know it's the wrong one."

Picard nodded sagely. "That will fade with time. And as you see Soji and I are not actively working toward universe domination."

Rios huffed. "I'm not sure I'll ever be rid of these memories. They're too…intense."

Picard didn't respond for a moment. He then stepped toward the door, triggering it to swish open. "I'm always here to talk," he said before leaving Rios to his privacy.

But Cris couldn't get himself out of this spiral. He couldn't the first time Vandermeer died. He barely slept or ate, and didn't want to be around anyone, even Agnes. She was being as supportive as she could but he could see she wanted to help just didn't know how. He didn't know how to help himself either.

Raffi tried poking him a few times, and he'd told her to piss off. A few times she just barged in on him but didn't say anything. She just took a seat beside him and they sat in silence for a while before she gave him a kiss on the head and left.

Rios pulled out his old things and looked at the sketch of him and Jana smiling. He remembered that. But he also shuddered as he remembered her fingers digging into his brain, so he put the drawing away.

A few days later, Seven came to call at his door. She had the courtesy to ring the chime before letting herself in without waiting for him to decide whether he wanted a visitor.

"You're still doubting things," she said without preamble.

He shot her a dry look. Yes, he was, but he didn't want to admit it out loud. What kind of captain was he that he couldn't pull himself together? What kind of friend?

Seven cocked her head. "Come with me."

"Where?"

"To face the lie."

Rios furrowed his brow in confusion.

"Come on," she prompted, and for some reason he got up and followed her out to the transporter pad.

She beamed just the two of them down to some kind of facility crawling with Starfleet Security personnel. This must have been the Romulan base. Rios had no idea they were still in orbit above it.

Seven headed down a hallway like she knew where she was going, and Rios followed. They stopped at a door with a large control panel on the outside, and she opened it. It was the room Rios had been kept in.

He glanced at her before taking a trepidatious step inside. There was the bed, and the two chairs.

"And one more thing," Seven spoke from behind. She tapped the controls, and a holographic projection of Vandermeer appeared in the center of the room.

Cris's heart fractured as the truth finally sank like a stone in his gut. A part of him had still wondered…still doubted. But it hadn't been real.

"Can you turn him on?" he choked out.

Seven keyed the command.

The hologram came to life, and Alonzo blinked in surprise. "You're back."

Cris just gazed at him in abject sorrow. "Yes. I succeeded in my mission."

Alonzo broke into a grin. "That's good, kid. That's real good." He paused. "You don't look relieved. You did the right thing, Cris. This is the start of making everything right."

Cris's throat closed up. "I know," he managed to get out. "I just wanted to…say goodbye. Pops," he added with a whisper. He waved at Seven, who terminated the program, and the image of Vandermeer dematerialized.

Rios turned his back toward Seven so she wouldn't see his tears fall. It wasn't the closure he wanted, and really it wasn't even real either. But it was the end.

Seven waited for him without saying anything, which he appreciated. He finally pulled himself together and turned to leave.

"I'm sorry," she said as he came out. "I know what it's like to lose someone you considered family. To feel like you failed them."

"I failed the rest of you."

"You can't blame yourself for what happened. No one could have resisted that kind of mental control. I know about that too."

Rios nodded. "Thank you."

They returned to La Sirena just as Soji was passing by that portion of the deck. She faltered, giving Rios a nervous look, before turning to scurry away.

"Soji," he called, making her pause and look back. "I'm sorry for the things I said."

She cautiously turned to approach him. "I know it wasn't really you." Her expression pinched. "I'm sorry you were targeted because of me. I never wanted to endanger any of you."

"The universe is a dangerous place," he replied. "Thank you," he went on, to both her and Seven. "For all of you working so hard to bring me back. I'm glad I have a crew—a family—I can depend on."

Soji smiled. "That's what we do."

They turned and walked together toward the center of the ship. Rios looked over the railing at the mess below where Raffi, Agnes, Picard, and Elnor were sitting and chatting. Whenever he started to doubt himself, he would trust in them.