An engagement? Really? I could hardly believe it. I was training to be the world's greatest martial artist, I didn't have time for girls. And that was exactly what Pops had always told me, keeping me from even talking with them let alone dating. It seemed absurd that he'd suddenly change his mind so completely and shove me towards a marriage. There was no way this could be real, surely. A prank, a test, some sort of scam for money, all were more likely than an engagement. There probably weren't even any girls where he was leading me. Monastery number eighty-six for sure.
I kicked at random stones as I trudged behind him through the wet street. At least the rain ended his tirade about my clothes — it was a lot easier to ignore a panda's chalkboard than shouted insults. Totally unjustified insults too. How was I supposed to know it was a girl's shirt? And it was his fault I didn't have the money to buy anything better. I'd kept it on just to spite him as I beat him into the sand back at the beach. If he was going to keep calling me a girl then he could go ahead and be beaten by one. That made him even weaker than spaghetti.
For all my confidence around Pops I was rather worried about showing up to an engagement meeting while wearing a girl's shirt. Not that I had a choice. Going in just the undershirt would be like showing up half naked. While drenched from the rain it was basically see-through. Actually, the wet overshirt wasn't much better. Upon realizing I could see my nipples through it I hurried picked it away from my chest. They didn't itch like crazy like they had with the gi on but the swelling and redness hadn't gone down yet.
I sighed as the knock on the door ended predictably. Whoever opened the door screamed in fright as my stupid panda-Pops stepped into their house. I told him he should take the time to change back to human before doing this. In his defense though it didn't take him too too long to realize his mistake and shove me out in front of him.
In the lowest voice I could manage with my cursed throat I said, "Umm, hi. I'm Ranma." I tried my best but I could tell my greeting did little to calm her. Whoever it was my father had brought me to meet was a little older than me, maybe nineteen. She was pretty, I supposed, but more than anything else she was normal. No signs that she was some hidden martial arts genius or a witch with the ability to cure supernatural curses. I couldn't imagine why Pops was so set on me marrying her. Well, it could be worse. At least I wasn't stuck in another Buddhist temple for a month. And she was pretty.
"P-p-panda!"
Yeah, we weren't going to get far like this. "Stupid Pops." I kicked him back outside on the porch. "Stay out there. I'll tell you when there's hot water."
Thankfully for the girl's sanity he agreed to my plan. Just that moment though a long-haired man with a mustache rushed around the corner. "Did you say you were Ranma? Ranma Saotome?"
"Yeah, that's—" I was cut off as he abruptly swept me into his arms. Maybe there were martial arts to learn here after all, though if so I wished Pops had given me a warning. He knew I didn't like wrestling. Partially because grappling was so sweaty, and partially because it was a truly brutal discipline when used for real. Most of the advanced techniques caused injuries to tendons that were so bad that you might as well maim your opponent, and that wasn't the way I wanted to fight if my life wasn't on the line.
Using techniques I'd learned in India I swiftly escaped and then reversed his grip, holding the arm extension until he cried for mercy. 'Odd. I expected more from a grappling expert.' I released him with a befuddled look, more confused than ever why Pops was so set on me marrying into this family.
"Don't hurt my Daddy!"
I spun out of the way as some crazy chick in a gi swung a mallet down at me. Her weapon went straight through the floor, lodging there long enough that I was able to swing my foot up and hit her hand. I nailed the pressure point there perfectly, forcing her to drop her weapon as her hand temporarily lost its ability to form a grip. I didn't fight girls, but in this case I didn't think I was wrong to harmlessly disarm her.
Even with her weapon gone, fallen through the floor, she kept attacking. She was like a tiny enraged gorilla but I'd spent too long fighting a panda recently to let that intimidate me. I smoothly dodged all her attacks, quite unworried. She was strong for a girl but unskilled, telegraphing all her attacks. Dodging them until she wore herself out wouldn't be hard, and even if she did hit me once or twice I wasn't worried. Without the mallet to amplify her strength I didn't think she could seriously harm me.
Eventually tiring of the game I didn't kick her but I did very gently trip her. I crouched to look at her as she just stayed frozen on the floor, seemingly astonished that she'd lost. "Had enough?" I asked. "Your dad attacked me first, no reason to freak out."
A third girl in a kimono spoke up then. "He wasn't attacking you, he was giving you a hug."
'A hug?' I'd seen mothers give their children hugs before and it seemed innocent enough. Had it really not been an attack? His moustache and his big tears seemed shifty to me but I supposed it could be true. If it really was an attack rather than a hug then he was hopeless inept at it. "Oh. Well, a little warning would have been nice." She might be right about the hug thing but there was no way I was apologizing after crazy mallet girl attacked me.
I barely held myself back from striking the man as he clapped me on the shoulder for some reason. With tears in his eyes he said, "Just the sort of fighting skill I'd expect from the son of my old training buddy."
"You trained with Pops?"
"Yes. Great days, and terrible." His head sunk for a moment before popping back up with renewed energy. "But now it's time to reunite the schools! These are my daughters, Akane, Nabiki, and Kasumi."
Before he could continue, Akane cut in. Apparently her shock at being beaten had changed into seething anger. "Why are you wearing a girl's shirt? You some sort of pervert?"
"What? No!" I'd never been called a pervert before but I didn't like it. And while I didn't entirely know what the word meant, I knew it wasn't anything good. "I lost my shirt swimming over here from China. I found this one on a beach."
"From China? Really?" asked Kasumi. From her tone it seemed like she didn't believe me, nearly laughingly. And if there was one thing I couldn't stand it was people not accepting how truly awesome I was.
"It's not that hard if you're strong enough." Knowing that words might not be enough I demonstrated. I dropped into a pushup with a single finger, then raised the ante by lifting my feet. I could tell I'd won over two out of three from their gasps, though Akane just let out an angry snort. It would have to do. This was about the limit of what I could do to show off inside without damaging their house.
"Wow," said Kasumi, nearly speechless.
"Sis, I think he actually did it," said Nabiki. "Are you a cape?"
Like a cloak? What a weird thing to ask. "Nope. Just a martial artist."
"Hmm…" Nabiki looked at me appraisingly. "So… no money for a new shirt?"
"Err, no. Not yet." I didn't much like admitting that I was poor, even obliquely. "And we left the rest of our stuff back in China for the swim. We're still working on restocking."
"The life of a martial artist is an arduous one," said Soun. "But now it's time for you to choose one of my daughters to marry!"
Nabiki instantly took a step back. "He wants Akane," she said. "She's perfect for him. Don't you think so Kasumi?"
She bit the corner of her lip, eyes roaming over my body in a way that had me wondering if I should hide. Eventually though she seemed to come to a decision and stepped behind Akane with Nabiki. "Indeed. You hate boys and he looks as pretty as a girl. It's perfect."
I soured at that. She hadn't called me weak as a girl or ugly, but it didn't feel entirely like a compliment. Being compared to a girl at all rubbed me the wrong way. And then there was the matter of them shoving me in the direction of psycho-chick. Despite their quirks, either of the older girls seemed like angels in comparison. Better-built too. Akane was more fit but whatever weight training she was doing was poorly planned because her muscles weren't proportioned right so that was really just another point against her. Had no one told her that it was a poor idea to focus exclusively on her biceps?
"Great," said Soun. "It's settled. Ranma will marry Akane." He tried to pull us into some sort of three-way hug that I barely dodged in my shock.
"What!" screamed Akane. "I'm not marrying some no-good pervert."
"And I'm not marrying some macho psycho-chick." I turned around with a huff, fully prepared to walk out the door and never look back. I didn't care what my dad's plan here was, I wasn't having any of it. I was leaving right now before Akane's rage worked up high enough for her to attack me again.
Or at least I thought I was, until a certain annoying panda blocked my way out of the house. Reluctantly I turned around. There was plenty of time before the wedding, I didn't have to skip out now. It would save me grief to let Pops say whatever he wanted to say.
"Right… Do you have any hot water I can borrow?"
A/N: chap 7 posted on AO3, chap 11 up on Lycelia