Hiya all~~ here's my contribution to the ItaNaru fandom, hehe. This is a translation of my fanfic written in French! It's my first time translating a whole fanfiction from French to English, and I spent a lot of time doing it. If there are any mistakes, please feel free to point it out. I changed a lot of expressions and terms that made more sense *to me* in English, and that I thought sounded way too cheesy...
About the story... It's nothing to be taken seriously. Can it be considered to be crack? The characters could be considered OOC since Naruto is an oblivious and overly naive dumbass (well, nothing too out of character from him, except I doubt he would be THAT oblivious and naive in the manga). But he won't be a wimp, nor an "ukelicious bishounen extraordinaire". He's in his twenties after all... About Itachi... well, usual cool and calm demeanor, except he becomes a hopeless flirt when it comes to Naruto. Bad flirting and silliness incoming!
Enjoy your read ~~~
"Shit, shit, shit!"
Sweet curses, a good omen for the beginning of the day.
It was quite obvious that Naruto had woken up to calmer mornings, but hey, a little shaky wake wouldn't hurt, would it?
The blond leaped out of his bed as fast as a cheetah, grumbling in the same breath a string of colorful swears at his poor alarm clock that hadn't dared to ring.
In the twinkling of an eye he was under the shower, got in his working clothes, gathered his personal belongings, and finally bolted out of his cramped apartment.
His body working on autopilot, he barely noticed himself getting on his bike, pedaling like a madman to his meeting place.
A perfect morning, indeed! He woke up like crap, his hair was a complete mess, and this unbearable summer heat could make a whole damn iceberg sweat.
Oh and don't forget the cherry on top : he was late for his first day of work.
Yup. An absolutely. Perfect. Morning.
.
.
.
"Holy fucking shit."
Itachi Uchiha was a man who seldom swore.
Swearing was for rude, uneducated apes who couldn't manage their emotions. And if there was one thing Itachi Uchiha was the best at, it was at managing his emotions.
With one exception.
Very little could tickle the smooth and impenetrable facade of the young man.
What truly got on his nerve was:
Late people. Him being late. Getting stuck in traffic jams.
He had successfully managed to fall into the last two situations, which was quite, hum, upsetting.
He impatiently drummed his fingers on the window sill of his sumptuous black car.
In front of him, the chauffeur was shrinking down and shivering in fear like a wounded puppy, the murderous aura of his boss gradually thickening the already hot and heavy atmosphere.
The poor man was viviantly convinced that the Uchiha was trying to burn a hole through his back with that piercing glare of his; but the raven couldn't care less about this insignificant chauffeur.
He was simply scowling at the road –well, what we could barely see of it, the highway looking way more like an endless necklace of cars.
Maybe if he looked daggers at the road long enough, the cars would eventually get annihilated, right?
In a silent but painful sigh, he laboriously loosened the tie that disgustingly stuck to his neck, and slouched down a little more on his seat.
"Why would one wear a suit and tie in eighty-six degrees?" you may ask.
Itachi would answer that he had to be dressed up to the nines in all circumstances. After all, he was the CEO of one of the biggest cosmetic companies in the country.
His schedule would almost exclusively consist of going to one meeting after another, barely having time to take a break.
The only moment of rest he could have was in the comfort of his luxurious mansion after a particularly exhausting day. He would always manage to go home at 9.30pm at most.
Once at home, he would turn off all of his electronic devices, any other form of communication completely halted for the rest of the night.
It was only ten past thirty in the morning, yet the poor Uchiha was fervently praying to the gods that the day would just end already.
The day had started off quite well though.
As usual, he had woken up at 6am sharp, ready to tackle the perfectly crafted schedule of his day. Although it was his day off, he still chose to wake up at dawn to do some extra work.
Schedule of the day:
7am: Drop by the company headquarters, done.
8am: Make several phone calls with partners abroad, done.
9am: Check orders summary, done.
10.30am: Meeting with the gardener's substitute, do-. Oh. Oh.
The raven gritted his teeth, he could feel a tiny headache coming on.
In times of traffic jams, the usual twenty-minute trip from the workplace to his home could quickly turn into a true nightmare.
He glared harder than he physically could at the road, his fury only increasing by the minutes.
Much more than late people, he absolutely hated being a latecomer himself. Sure, a person lacking any sense of punctuality was extremely vexing, but it didn't tarnish his reputation. It was the latecomer who was at fault, who was flawed.
And how could Mr Itachi Uchiha be at fault? How could he -dare we say it - have flaws? Itachi Uchiha was perfect, and a perfect person is never late.
Except now.
Another glance at the road.
Not even a lick of the way in sight.
"Hello Konan? I am afraid I am slightly being delayed, yes. Welcome the new gardener accordingly, and give him the list of tasks he is expected to complete. Also, prepare me two aspirins, please."
.
.
.
Naruto was dripping with sweat and out of breath, when he finally arrived in front of his seasonal employer's home.
Had it been possible for him to squarely spit out his lungs on the ground, he would have done it a long time ago. The young man got off his bike, legs shaking like a newborn lamb's, and slowly went up the small hill leading to the gate of his future boss' imposing mansion.
The blond somehow tried to fix his work uniform as best as he could whereas he combed his rebellious hair, helped by his clumsy fingers.
He checked his watch. Ten fifty seven. Crap.
"Fuck, I look crazy and I'm almost thirty minutes late. Great."
He wiped off his soaking forehead for what could have been the fifteenth time since he got off his bike.
The thought of a two-hundred liter bath with fifteen kilograms of baking soda suddenly seemed very appealing.
Needless to say, Naruto couldn't stand summer.
Because of his radiant and hyperactive personality, he was mistakenly thought to love this warm season. It was quite the opposite however.
During summer, it was hot, way too hot. You sweat, can't sleep properly, mosquitoes are everywhere, public transport and shops turn into furnaces, crowded beaches… The young blond could go on and on with this list.
What he truly favored was the inbetween: spring and autumn, with a preference for the latter.
Not too hot, not too cold. Not many people nor many bugs. Ah yes, the good ol' life.
His thoughts were cut short when he found himself facing the immense gate of the private property.
No doorbell or intercom in sight, how was he supposed to show that he was here?
"Let's just use my phone…"
That's what the blond said before noticing that his pockets were empty. Nothing in his backpack either. He rummaged through his satchel bag only to find his keys staring right back at him in confusion.
He was this close to rip his hair out and scream.
"So what do I do? I ain't gonna climb this gate, right? Shit, who would live in a private property and not have a goddamned doorbell?
The young man threw back his head in a desperate sigh, his arms flailing. Naruto was about to let himself collapse on the ground in resignation when the front gate swung open right before him. He quickly stepped back so that his teeth wouldn't meet with the hard metal of the door.
A young woman dressed in a simple short-sleeved shirt and a pencil skirt, both black, walked up to him, the heels of her blue-navy pumps tapping on the ground. She had a pale oval face, framed by two locks of grayish blue hair, the rest of which was tied into a neat high bun. Her amber eyes sprinkled with a mauve eyeshadow made her fixed gaze on Naruto unreadable.
Once she stood before him, she held out a hand which he shook with embarrassment.
"Hello, I am Konan, the housekeeper of the Uchiha mansion, she stated. You must be the new gardener, am I right?"
"Hello, nice to meet you, Konan! he briskly greeted. That's me, I'm Naruto Uzumaki. I deeply apologize for being late, my alarm clock wasn't properly set, then I had some troubles on my way and-"
"It's alright, she cut him with a soft smile, Mr Uchiha hasn't arrived yet. Please come in, I am going to take you around the place and explain the tasks you have to complete here.
She invited him to join her, so he followed suit.
"By the way, how did you know that I was here? There's no intercom from what I can see…"
"There is no intercom indeed, but we have a mini-camera on the top of the gate that detects movements. A small alarm signal goes off, and we can observe from the cameras in the mansion who is outside."
"I see," Naruto said, his eyebrows raised, visibly impressed. But how is it different from being alerted by the intercom and checking the cameras inside?
"Well, Mr. Uchiha hates the sound of the intercom, and…
She suddenly stopped walking, a serious look clouding her eyes.
… this is to prevent somewhat problematic intrusions."
Seeing the young woman's serious demeanor, Naruto didn't want to imagine what kind of intrusions she was referring to.
After passing through the large gate, they walked along a small richly flowery slope bordered by cherry trees with mouth-watering fruits. Konan listed the tasks as she walked, Naruto closely following behind her.
"So as you can see, you will have to take care of the garden alleway first. Weeds should be regularly removed. It will also be necessary to collect fallen fruits and leaves. The leaves should be put in the compost bin. Rotten fruits are to be put in another container. Fresh fruits will be stored in the large kitchen, I'll show you their locations later.
The automatic watering is to be activated in the morning when arriving, at noon, and before leaving, it must be programmed for five o'clock. Set it at medium intensity, for ten minutes. You will have to apply a pest control gel to the cherry trees at the end of the week. The treatment hasn't been done properly in winter, and the trunks are somewhat damaged. Let's move on to the courtyard garden."
She quickly glanced at the young blond.
"Are you not taking any notes?" she inquired dubiously.
He scratched the back of his head with a mischievous grin.
"I'll be fine, I'll be fine!"
She assessed him briefly without saying a word before resuming her walk along with her instructions.
She pointed in the distance at the mansion which was a mixture of traditional Japanese and modern architecture. They had to walk for five good minutes before finally reaching their destination.
"Here we are. Please follow me inside."
They entered the imposing house which was at least fifty times the size of Naruto's cramped little studio. He didn't have the luxury to admire the interior any longer as Konan led him directly to the main garden.
If the flowery alley was already impressive in itself, the courtyard had nothing to envy the former.
The garden was a subtle blend of Japanese and British style, creating a plethora of shimmering colors reminiscent of Western gardens, yet whose meticulously arranged oriental arrangement brought order into this surge of hues. What caught the young blond's attention was the magnificent koi carp pond surrounded by damask roses and maple bushes. Naruto thought that nothing could be better than sitting quietly by the pool at the end of the day, and watching the rays of the setting sun reflect on the water.
Konan snapped him out of his daydream.
"Regarding the main garden, it will be necessary to mow the lawn, trim the hedges five centimeters, move the blue and pink rhododendrons and pot them next to the damask roses, remove the blue fescues from the perennials, - Mr. Uchiha cannot stand their sight anymore-, then purify the soil and sow pink echinacea seeds… Don't forget to prune the trees and shrubs every day…"
As the list of tasks grew bigger, the blond's eyebrows had almost reached his hairline.
"-... here is your to-do list, which is obviously spread over several days. Some tasks are daily such as fruit picking, pruning and watering.
You will be on a 9am to 12.30am schedule. Today is an exception given that this is your induction day. A vehicle will be at your disposal to drive around quickly in the alley. You will be able to store inside the various bins used for the compost, the fruits… Now let me show you where to find the adequate material, as well as the useful parts of the mansion."
It was almost past noon when Konan had finally finished listing the tasks to be completed and taking him around the garden. The endless walk around the Uchiha domain ended in front of the gardener's shed.
Seeing as how much the workload had kept piling up, Naruto had eventually chosen to take notes. This made Konan smile softly. She liked the blond. He didn't hesitate to ask a lot of relevant questions, and seemed very motivated despite the mountain of work awaiting him.
However, the young housekeeper was slowly starting to get worried about her boss being late.
First, she had assumed that he must have been stuck in a traffic jam, yet it should only have taken him thirty minutes at most…
He was surely fuming by now, she knew his aversion to traffic jams very well.
Itachi absolutely wanted to meet each new employee, but Naruto had to leave soon… She hoped to find a way to hold him back a little longer… He didn't seem in a particular hurry, she could still offer him a little iced tea to cool off ; the poor man was dripping with sweat.
He beat her to it.
"Ah, excuse me Konan," he said awkwardly, "I know it's pretty daring, but may I ask you a favor?"
"Please do tell, she smiled politely."
"I'm sweating like a pig and it's awful, may I take a shower somewhere? I wouldn't dare to use the bathrooms inside, but if there's at least an outdoor cabin-
"Sure, sure, she laughed. There is a shower inside the gardener's hut, I forgot to mention it, I apologize. We know how exhausting the workload can be, especially in summer with the heat causing heat strokes and dizziness."
"Great! he beamed, delighted."
He couldn't have hoped better, he even brought a spare change of clothes.
Konan made him wait a moment while she went to get him some stuff. She came back with a clean towel, soap and a bottle of shampoo, then politely invited him to take a shower. Before leaving, the young woman told the blond that she would be waiting for him outside the mansion entrance in order to send him off suitably.
Naruto sighed in relief as he got in the cabin. A refreshing shower, at last! For the whole visit he had been feeling like a roast chicken, all hot and greasy.
A moan of pure satisfaction escaped his lips when he felt the lukewarm water touch his skin. He took a large amount of soap and spread it lasciviously on his arms. The texture was bluish black and creamy. It was also light and refreshing at the same time. As for the scent ... simply exquisite, a deep scent of wild blackberries was filling his nostrils. The shampoo was of the same aroma, and the young man took great pleasure in spreading it generously on his blond locks.
He glanced at the soap bottle. Karasu.
"Isn't that the famous luxury cosmetics brand that Ino-chan and Sakura-chan are always babbling on about? It's well worth its reputation, I guess... "
He hummed softly, reminiscing about his disastrous morning. He chuckled to himself.
Naruto knew he would have an astronomical amount of work to do, but he would never back away from a good challenge. He had found the perfect job that matched one of his college working projects.
The Uzumaki was pursuing a degree in Landscape Architecture. He was working on a field analysis project and was due to submit it by the end of the semester.
What could be better than being directly on site? He was so excited about it.
Naruto had always been a person who loved being in contact with plants, his small apartment was full of them : he pampered and coddled them like a loving mother.
He came from the countryside - which he had been constrained to leave for his studies in Konoha - so he had always been surrounded by nature.
His passion for plants and flowers also extended to the field of garden design.
Thanks to his vivid imagination, he could put his talent as designer to work and bring his ideas to reality.
One of his biggest dreams was obviously to live off his passion, but wouldn't it be nice to have a cosy house surrounded by a forest of flowers?
A forest of flowers with lots of animals …
"Wouldn't that make me a Disney princess?"
.
.
.
If Itachi wasn't an Uchiha, he would probably have passed out in relief as he finally set foot on the ground of his beloved abode.
He completely ignored his driver who waved him down bashfully before leaving the property.
The raven walked with a quick and determined step toward Konan who was patiently waiting for him, standing upright before the front door, two capsules of aspirin and a bottle of water in hands.
One could easily tell his exasperation from the dull click of his shoes on the floor, although his face was showing nothing of it.
A nightmare of a morning. Almost two hours late, and all of this mess for what? A poor car accident!
Would it have been too much to ask to just toss aside the car with its pitiful driver inside and clear the way?
Fine, it wasn't very rational, but Itachi Uchiha didn't really have the heart to be when he was locked up for over an hour in a driving Dutch oven cosplaying as a car.
A glance at his watch: 12.27am.
He gritted his teeth imperceptibly. He was almost two hours late. Unforgivable. What a shame, what a disgrace! He was sweating - quite literally - from anger and embarrassment.
UGH. He needed an ice cold shower. Right. Now.
He came up to his housekeeper who graciously handed him the divine aspirin and the bottle of blessed water. Dramatic much? Not at all!
He thanked Konan with a brief nod and gulped down his two capsules, half of the contents of the bottle disappearing in three large sips.
Well, now that her boss had arrived, she could finally introduce him to Naruto in due form.
"Welcome home, Mr. Uchiha," she greeted him respectfully. The gardener is still here, he is-
"Make him wait here, I'll get changed quickly," he cut her off absentmindedly.
The words had barely finished coming out from his mouth that he was already headed inside the mansion.
She just sighed discreetly, a tender smirk on her face.
Being late was one thing, but being late and scruffy was unacceptable. If he had to be late, so be it, but he might as well look immaculate.
He walked without further preamble to his room to get rid of his belongings. He let his briefcase fall heavily on the floor, and aggressively took off his clothes as if they were burning his skin.
He took a short but effective five-minute shower, quickly dried his hair to flatten it into a neat low ponytail, and put on a dark suit along with black patent leather shoes shining as bright as daylight.
Thank goodness he was presentable again.
He made his way back to the entrance, but no Konan or new gardener in sight. She had surely gone off to look for him God knew where.
While waiting for their return, he decided to check the garden shed to make sure that all the tools for the new gardener were ready. Konan must have already checked beforehand, but he couldn't help himself from always scrutinizing every little thing. Must be his overly meticulous side.
Once the shed was quickly reached, Itachi barely had time to notice the shower stall handle abruptly moving, when a light cloud of steam suddenly obstructed his view, accompanied by a deep smell of blackberry and… cinnamon? .. which completely enveloped his smell.
He briskly blinked several times, his brow furrowed. Once his eyesight cleared, he felt his heart pounding heavily against his rib cage before suddenly stopping. He froze.
Ah, Angels! The End of Time had come, the Apocalypse had begun, a divine test, a heavenly punishment had been cast upon him! Was he Adam in the Garden of Eden, facing the tempting apple?
Certainly, one could say that the small shed had nothing to do with this sacred place ... Nevertheless, the more than enticing appearance of the delicious specimen in front of him, made an important common point with the Fruit of the Sinner... The very personification of Apollo stood before him, an expression of utter surprise on his face.
Itachi swallowed hard.
"Goodness gracious."
Done with this chapter!
I hope you enjoyed it, feel free to review and tell me what you thought about it!
I might take some time to release the translated chapters, but I'll make sure not to take too long.
See you next time ~~