Hi all. I know we're anxious for someone to make a move and for some sexy time, but please bear with me just a little longer. I promise someone will make a move before they hit their two week anniversary of knowing each other...Also, please forgive me if the beginning of this chapter is a bit repetitive. I just really wanted to show Jace's point of view for this too.
Jace had never been so confused in his life. He'd decided to go by the office, even though the last text had told him not to. He hoped she wouldn't mind, but this was the last day she worked at the hotel until next week and he didn't want to wait that long to see her.
Clary had walked out of the back room looking more beautiful than anything Jace had ever seen. Her face was flushed, her emerald eyes were shimmering with some kind of excitement Jace had never seen in them before and her beautiful red curls were everywhere. It looked like Jace imagined her sex hair to look like after he'd fantasized about having her in his bed and ravishing her.
Clary had walked out of the back room, but it was really like she had stepped straight out of his fantasies and he couldn't tear his eyes off of her.
Jace wanted to ask her not to put her hair up, but he had no right to ask her for anything. Even though he knew he was staring, Jace couldn't help himself. How could he look away from something he wanted to brand into his memory forever?
There was so much sexual tension and nervous energy. Jace found himself rubbing the back of his neck, which he tended to do when he got nervous. He tried to make himself break his awkward stare by saying something, but he was so enamored with her he didn't even know what he was saying.
Then she was gone. To get dessert she had said… but she'd been gone so long. What had he said? He wished he could remember. He must have scared her.
"Clary?" He finally asked. "Is everything okay?" Why did he manage to mess things up every time he saw her? If only he could remember what he'd said, maybe he could make things right.
All Jace heard was silence. Maybe she couldn't hear him. He hoped over the counter to get closer to the door she'd left through.
"Clary? Please tell me what's wrong." If he knew what he'd done wrong maybe he could fix it. Maybe she would come back out and let him apologize for putting his foot in his mouth again. The silence was killing him. "Please?" He said again, against the door.
Then she was there, in front of him, blaming herself and putting herself down; but she wouldn't look at him. He must have said something awful. He racked his brain. What had he said?! "I don't understand what I did wrong," Jace heard himself saying. If he could just get her to talk to him. Maybe he could fix it.
But then she was talking and she wasn't making any sense at all. She was saying all these good things… about him. Why was she saying all these good things about him if she was mad at him? Was she trying to convince herself he wasn't awful? That the good outweighed the bad? That they could at least be friends?
Then she was touching him… and her hand was so soft. How could he think of anything when she was touching him with her soft hand? He felt himself leaning into her touch, wishing she would never move.
Until she started crying. Why was she crying? He really needed to try to focus. What could he have possibly done that was so bad it was making her cry?! He couldn't understand what Clary was saying, but he could feel the pain radiating off her in waves.
All Jace wanted to do was pull her into his arms and comfort her. For once, he allowed himself to do what he wanted without overthinking how it would make her feel. As he pulled her into his arms, he felt Clary relax against him. Maybe she really wasn't mad at him. Maybe she just needed to cry. She'd been through a lot that week. With Gran, and thinking she was going to lose her job. He finally made himself say something. He tried to show her he was there for whatever she needed. Tried to put everything he felt for her into the hug.
Then she was laughing, but not the easy and free laugh that frequented his dreams. This was a bitter almost crazed laugh, and she was putting herself down again. How did she not see how perfect she was?
"You really don't see yourself clearly," Jace said. He started to tell her how perfect she was. How much she affected the people around her. How much she affected him… but he didn't want to scare her. God, he was bad at this. He needed to remind her they were friends. Friendship wasn't scary. "I'm honored to be your friend," he finally heard himself say. There. That was better. She didn't look scared or sad anymore. He'd finally done something right. Jace went on to make a joke about the desert. Maybe things wouldn't be so tense if they were talking about food. That was a safe topic.
Just when he thought things were finally back to normal between them he heard her say, "you can have anything you want." What?! Jace whipped his head up to look at her. Was she talking about food, or did she mean anything anything? There was nothing in the world Jace wanted even half as much as he wanted her, and here they were… alone… on a bed…
Jace stared at Clary. He was trying to see in her eyes if she really meant what he wanted her to mean, but Clary's eyes gave nothing away. Of course, she didn't mean that. What was a normal thing to ask for in this situation? A fork! That's what she meant. He should ask for a fork.
Things went back to normal between them. They stayed on the cot in the back, instead of the love seat they normally sat on out front, but the mood was definitely lighter than it had been earlier. It was nice. Clary seemed more relaxed. She sat on the cot with her back against the wall and her legs crossed Indian style.
Clary's face showed no trace of all the emotions she'd displayed earlier. If he hadn't seen it himself, Jace wouldn't have believed she'd had any kind of freak out at all. It made him wonder how often she fell apart when no one was watching.
Jace knew Clary wasn't a weak woman, but she was under an insane amount of pressure. Nobody could blame her for losing it once in a while. It was bad enough she was working two full time jobs, but adding the stress of having another life dependent on her was unfathomable to him. He wished she would let him help. Somebody should take care of her for a change, but she'd have to let them first.
All these thoughts were floating around in Jace's head as he and Clary carried on a normal conversation. They talked about food, and family. He told her he'd been visiting his sister and she praised him for his excellent cooking skills. She didn't get the "O" face like she did when she ate cream cheese wontons, but Jace could tell Clary was enjoying the lasagna.
The dessert she'd made was all kinds of sinful. Clary told him Gran had lovingly nicknamed it 'buttery yummy goodness,' and Jace felt the name was beyond fitting. It was almost like an apple cobbler, but way softer and richer and more indulgent. Clary said she usually used ice cream or something to cut the sweetness, but Jace was enjoying every bite just the way it was. A man could get nice and fat if he ate Clary's cooking every day. She chuckled when he said that and let him know she only made this treat a few times a year for special occasions.
It was past midnight when Jace noticed Clary's eyelids begin to look heavy. "I should probably go," he said reluctantly.
"Do you have to?" she asked, looking up at him with those big doe eyes that melted his heart.
"Of course not," Jace said, "but shouldn't you get some sleep before work tomorrow? You are planning to go, aren't you? I mean, I could call Camille and tell her you need another day if you want me to…"
"Oh no!" Clary said quickly. "Of course I'm going to work. And I probably should sleep. It's just… I really don't feel like being alone tonight. You… you wouldn't want to sleep here, would you?" she asked in a small voice. This was the first time Clary seemed to willingly show any vulnerability and it was breaking Jace's heart.
"Of course," he said quickly. "I can sleep here if you want… but won't you get in trouble?"
"Only if the wrong person finds out about it. There's all kinds of gossip about how many people visit the weekend graveyard girl here, and nobody seems to be too worried about it. The next person comes in at six. I can set an alarm for 5:30 just to make sure you leave before they get here. Nobody ever comes in for their shift that early."
"Okay," Jace said, setting the empty dishes on the desk. "Is there somewhere I can wash these before we lie down?" he asked. He was trying really hard not to think about all the people that had visited this room and what all they might have done on the cot he was about to sleep in. He hoped Clary at least changed the sheets.
It wasn't until the dishes were clean and Jace and Clary were lying in the cot facing each other that Jace wondered if Clary had ever had anyone else visit her here before. He knew from their game of twenty questions that she wouldn't have had sex here. She hadn't worked here three months and her high school boyfriend had been years ago, but Jace was visiting and they weren't having sex.
Somehow, lying here with his face only an inch away from hers and breathing in the strawberry sent of her shampoo felt more intimate to Jace than having sex with other women in his past had. He felt like every nerve ending in his body was on high alert, just hoping for any part of her to brush against any part of him.
Jace was lying very still. As much of a temptation as it was to touch her, he had sworn to himself he wouldn't make another move on her unless she moved first. While he would have liked to consider her asking him to sleep with her as a move on her part, he was sure she meant it as a friendly sleepover and not a sexy one. This woman didn't seem to have a clue about her own sex appeal. She never seemed to realize what she was doing to him. If she knew the thoughts he'd had about her she'd probably never let him get this close to her again. Of course, she had seen him dreaming yesterday, but he couldn't be sure if he'd said her name out loud or not, so she might not have known he was dreaming about her.
Oh God! Thinking about that dream when they were in such close proximity was a terrible idea! His body was starting to respond in the same way it had yesterday and he couldn't put himself in that awkward position again! Not now! Jace tried thinking of anything to keep himself from becoming aroused. Old people, men's locker rooms, and puppy dogs. And puppy's made him think of Izzy with her dog as a girl. Good. This was good. There was no way he could be aroused while thinking of that. Phew. That was close.
Just as he was finally beginning to relax, Jace felt her fingers brush against his. She folded the fingers of her right hand between the fingers of his left and pulled both hands up between their chests.
"Goodnight Jace," Clary mumbled sleepily.
"Goodnight Clary," Jace replied. He tilted his head down and placed a soft kiss on her forehead. She was already breathing evenly and seemed to have fallen asleep before she was even done speaking, but Jace knew it would be a long while before sleep claimed him.
"Sweet dreams, my love," he whispered softly into the dark.