Clary knew the drive back to Jace's hotel didn't take any longer in actual minutes than it normally would have, but it felt like an eternity. She actually had to keep forcing herself to slow down as the speedometer kept creeping higher than it should. Every nerve ending in her body felt like a live wire. She was pretty sure Jace felt it too. She thought about reaching over and holding his hand, but she was afraid if she touched any part of him, she'd end up pulling over to touch all of him.
This was crazy! She kept going back and forth between reminding herself she'd known Jace less than two weeks and she wasn't the kind of person who took sex lightly and remembering how good it felt to have him against her. It was more than that though. Deep down she knew it. The tug she felt on her heart when she'd watched Jace carry Gran into the hospital or protect Magnus and Alec from the hateful man earlier was even stronger than the pressure she felt in other parts of her when she was sitting on Jace's lap or braced between his body and an office wall.
Regardless of everything she'd told Simon about Jace that first day and all the time she'd spent thinking he just wanted to be friends, the truth was, Clary had fallen for Jace pretty hard. Not because he was gorgeous, though he was. Not even because of the amazing level of chemistry they seemed to have, which Clary hadn't even known was possible before meeting Jace. No, Clary had fallen for Jace because of the incredible person he was underneath all of that. The person she didn't think he let too many people see.
Clary fell for the part of Jace that was so loving and protective of his little sister it made him blind to things that would have been obvious otherwise. The part of Jace that was generous and kind enough to save a stranger's job with a coffee, and buy a girl he barely knew four new tires without ever expecting to be paid back. She also fell for the part of Jace that didn't hesitate to bring a dozen people food at the hospital or spend the night by Gran's bedside to ease the worries of a friend. The fact that her subconscious mind was comfortable enough to allow her to sleep next to him, and also trusted him enough to let him keep her nightmares away was not lost on her either.
As she sped to do something she knew she shouldn't, with someone she knew was likely to break her heart, Clary could no longer deny she was in deep. She felt the least she could do to try to make this relationship work, if that's what this was, is to start with honesty. She also knew anything that was hard to say now would be ten times harder to say when they had intensified their bond with love making. So when they were a few blocks from the hotel, she finally made herself talk again. "Jace?" she began, "I don't want to see anyone else either."
There was a long pause before Jace said, "why do I feel like there's a but coming?"
"Well… I don't have much to offer you. I would love to visit you in New York someday, but you know I won't ever leave Gran as long as she needs me." Clary let her words hang in the air for another block before she continued.
"Even if you do all the traveling to come here and see me, I still can't really afford to take time off. Saturday mornings are for synagogue, so unless you join us, I won't see you then. You're always welcome to the apartment for lunch and family time Saturday afternoon. Simon comes over. Actually I think he's bringing Izzy this week so that will be nice! I don't know what her schedule will be next semester. This semester she hasn't had much free time. I'm getting off track, but my point is, it's not really fair of me to ask you to come here when I can't even devote much time to you. Gran will think I'm with you during the times I'm at work, so I might be able to slip away early or stay out a little late so we have a tiny bit of alone time, but you deserve someone who can give you more than stolen moments. I'm sure you won't have any problem finding lots of women who have more to offer you." By now Clary had pulled into the hotel lot and was parking in front of Jace's room. She could feel her throat getting tight, so she stopped speaking. She'd already cried in front of him more than once. She wasn't going to do it again.
"Clary?" Jace said.
"Hmm?" Clary hummed in response.
"Clary, look at me," Jace demanded gently.
Clary slowly moved her eyes to his.
"I don't want anybody else. I have no problem being the one who travels. The fact that you take such good care of Gran is one of things I love about you. I wouldn't ask you to do anything that would take you away from that! I want to see you anywhere I can. I haven't been to church of any kind since I was a little kid, but if it means more time with you I'll be happy to go."
"Okay," she finally said. "If you're willing to try, I am too. Just… Please let me know before you see anyone else. You know, if it gets to be too much."
"What?" Jace asked incredulously. "You think I would cheat on you?"
Clary felt herself blushing as she answered him. "Not necessarily. That's just one of my insecurities. It's nothing on you. I just want to know from you if it's over. I don't want to have to hear it from someone else or overhear it on the phone." Clary looked away as she said the last part. She realized she would never have thought to say any of this if it weren't for Sebastian, and it wasn't really fair to put that on Jace when it had nothing to do with him but she couldn't seem to help herself.
Thankfully, Jace seemed to understand. He reached over and squeezed her hand before asking "would you like to go inside? We can still talk, but it's kind of cold out here now that the car is off."
"Oh right!" Clary said, blushing again, "and I still have your jacket!"
Jace used his keycard to open the door. He reached in and flipped the switch to turn the light on, but hung back and gestured for her to enter the room first. She walked in and noticed that everything was much more orderly than she would expect anyone to keep a hotel room. She didn't see a single thing stacked on the dresser or lying around out of place. There were no clothes strewn about and no pile of dirty laundry in the corner. Clary remembered noticing his need to wash the dishes and fold his shirt before he laid down on the cot in the back room and thinking her messy room at home would drive him crazy. 'I wonder where he keeps his laundry,' Clary thought idly. She turned around to ask him, but Jace had closed the door behind him and stepped farther into the room and when she turned around she almost collided with his chest.
Clary sucked in a breath as she was reminded of the first day in the break room when her hands had brushed against Jace near the first aid kit. She had wanted to touch his chest then and to run her fingers through his silky curls… and now she could. Neither of them moved. They just stared into each other's eyes for a moment before Jace cleared his throat to break the spell.
"So… uh… make yourself comfortable. You're more than welcome to sit on the chair, or the bed, or there's a couch…"
Clary didn't say anything. She just shook her head. She didn't want to sit. She didn't want to talk, or think, or do anything else that might convince her she was moving too fast. She just wanted to feel. She took a step toward Jace, closing the small distance that was between them.
Putting her hands under Jace's shirt, Clary ran them along his muscles much the same way she had in the car. She felt his breath catch at the contact. She couldn't be sure if he leaned down first or if she started rolling onto the tips of her toes, but in an instant their mouths met hungrily and they picked up right where they'd left off in Magnus' office. This time, instead of pushing her into the wall, Jace backed toward the bed, lifting Clary and pulling her with him.
As they tumbled onto the bed, Clary reveled in the feeling of Jace beneath her. She had her knees on each side of his hips, much like she had in the car, but now that there was more room she was truly nestled in his lap rather than kneeling over him. She could feel how much he wanted her, and for the first time in her life, Clary felt like maybe she really was beautiful. There had to be something special about her for someone as magnificent as this to be so affected by her touch.
Neither of them had broken the kiss, and they seemed to be trying to devour each other. Clary wanted to remember this moment forever. The way his muscles tensed as she ran her fingers over them was exciting, and the moans she felt against her mouth every time she moved on his lap made her feel very powerful. She almost felt intoxicated with it. She'd never felt like this with Sebastian. It was always him pushing her to do something and her giving in, but she'd never taken the lead like this and she found she was actually enjoying it very much.
Still without breaking the kiss, Clary felt Jace reach up to the back of her head and pull out the pen that had been holding her hair up. It fell all around them like a fiery curtain of curls.
Feeling that there were far too many layers between them,
Clary broke the kiss just long enough to pull Jace's shirt over his head. She had intended to resume the kiss immediately, but she paused as she remembered how tidy he liked to keep everything. Should she stop and fold it? Jace must have sensed her dilemma as he grabbed it from her hands and tossed it onto the couch next to the bed. He quickly pulled his jacket off of her and tossed it aside as well, lying back on the bed and pulling Clary with him so she was now on her hands and knees above him. Watching the jacket slide off the edge of the couch and onto the floor, Clary thought it was good to know that Jace valued at least one thing more than he valued order.
Clary had just turned back to Jace and was planning to resume their kiss when she felt his thumbs dip into the sides of her bustier and under her breasts, gently pushing them up and over the line of her top. She gasped as he took her right nipple into his mouth and began rolling it between his tongue and his top row of teeth. Her body was responding of its own volition. Her back arched and she bit her bottom lip to keep herself from crying out. Jace was looking up at her with such adoration she almost couldn't stand it. She rolled herself against him even as she wondered if he could feel through his slacks how embarrassingly wet she was. He moved his mouth to begin giving the same attention to her left nipple he had just given to her right even as he used his left hand to pinch and fondle the area his mouth had just left exposed. Clary found herself struggling to remember to breathe.
By the time Jace's right hand found its way under her skirt the lace of Clary's panties was completely soaked. Instead of moving the lace to the side to touch her directly, Jace began running his fingers lightly up and down along the fabric. The sensation of the fabric along the already stimulated skin was driving Clary wild. She gripped the blanket beside Jace's shoulders and pushed herself into him, silently urging him to move faster, push harder, and provide more pressure. She was panting now, and if she hadn't been so distracted by his mouth on her breast and the rest of him touching the rest of her, Clary would have been embarrassed by the noises she was making.
Clary finally whimpered. She could feel herself beginning to unravel. Something about the sound seemed to flip a switch inside of Jace. Suddenly he was gone from beneath her. Clary had no idea how he had moved without displacing her at all, or how he had managed to change positions so quickly, but while she was still on her hands and knees on the bed, Jace was now kneeling on the floor behind her. Her clothes were no longer in the way. Clary couldn't tell if Jace had ripped them off of her or just moved them to the side and she really didn't care. All she cared about was that his mouth was giving her all the pressure she had been looking for as he hungrily lapped up her juices. He reached his hands forward, one grasping her breast and the other pinching her clit as he rolled his perfect tongue between her folds and she lost control completely.