IMPORTANT:

This fic is rated MATURE for a reason(s). So, please, please! Read at your own risk! Be mindful of what MIGHT happen in this story!
THANK YOU!

I try to make this as historically accurate as possible, but please don't take what I write in here at face value.

Inspired by SNK S4 OST: Memory Lane! So, I recommend you to read this fic whilst listening to the soundtrack, preferably the violin one!

DISCLAIMER:
Shingeki no Kyojin / Attack on Titan belongs to Hajime Isayama.

CHAPTER I
"A Nurse and A Soldier"

It has been five years since the start of the war in 1939. A year longer than the previous war which lasted for four years, from 1914-1918. Because of that, people begin to wonder whether the war will end at all, especially with so many people lost their lives during the process to obtain this peace. The war itself is split into two main theatres, The European Theatre and The Pacific Theatre.

Theatre is oddly a fitting name for the war, where a bunch of actors are playing their part in the battlefield while the directors are staying behind the stage as the puppet master. The war is a play and the whole world is the audience, no one knows the ending or knows who wrote the script, not even God or the universe knows it. However, despite that, the show must go on.

After the struggles that the allies experienced throughout the earlier years of the war, by 1944 they are finally able to confine the Germany by pushing them from the east and the west. However, it comes with a price. The high mortality of the soldiers forced the medical practitioners to be near the frontlines of the war, serving in tents they called field hospital as healers and helpers for the fallen body, mind, and soul of the soldiers.

A bespectacled nurse with a knee-length light blue dress is wearing her white apron—with a big red cross sign on the chest area—in a hurry. After that, she put her hair up in a bun and pinned a white cap on the top of her head, securing it with pins.

She glances at her reflection in the small mirror that she puts on top of a suitcase. She readjusts her glasses before finally leaving her small tent. Her steps are fast and wide as she walks through the maze of dark green tents toward the biggest tent in the area, the hospital ward. A big red cross symbol can be seen right on the roof. She sees the influx of soldiers being carried in stretchers around the tent; some are still conscious, but some appear to be dying.

From what she knows, the troops are currently in the middle of the fight in the South of Ardennes, which started back in September. It is a battle where the American forces are trying to push the Germans out of Lorraine. However, due to the high numbers of fallen and injured soldiers, the American forces decided to retreat from the battle in October. They intend to let the soldiers rest and heal while the leaders revise the plan of the battle. They built a temporary station near the field hospital, located near the western front of the European war.

She immediately goes inside the tent, and she is welcomed by the stench of blood and sweat. She takes a deep breath as she walks toward the head nurse who is seen talking with a soldier who is crying.

"Hange Zoë is reporting for duty, Ma'am." She greets the head nurse.

After a few exchanges between them, she is dismissed to do her duty. Hange looks around the tent to search for patients that she can treat. She spots two soldiers who have just arrived at the tent. The taller man with ash-blond hair is leaning toward the shorter man with disheveled black hair.

"What's the matter?" Hange approaches them as she inspects their bodies. The raven-haired soldier seems to be alright while the ash-blond soldier is wincing in pain. She immediately leads them toward the empty bed, and she helps the blond-haired soldier to lay on the bed.

"He said that his whole body is in pain, and he also has a fever." The other soldier tells her with a flat voice. However, she does catch a hint of worry on his expression. "He's been like this since we retreated from the battlefield a few days ago."

Hange hums as her brain begins to work, trying to understand his symptoms. "What's his name?"

"Furlan Church." The other soldier replies.

Hange looks over to Furlan Church and sees that he is sweating. "It's okay, Mr. Church. I'm going to help you." She tells him in a soft and clear voice.

The man nods and Hange takes it as a good sign, as he is still responding to the surrounding. Hange then grabs a slender case from a pocket in her apron, she opens it and gives a small glass stick to him. "Mr. Church I need you to put this thermometer under your tongue for a few minutes."

Hange then unbuttons his tattered and dirty brown uniform and examines his torso. She finds a bunch of red rashes on the skin of his torso and arms. Hange bites her bottom lip, she has an inkling about his sickness. She returns to him and takes the thermometer from his mouth, the number in the thermometer indicates that he has a high fever.

Hange immediately grabs his hand and bends the joint gently, "Is it hurt?"

Mr. Church grunts in pain and nods at her. "I can't move my joints without experiencing pain."

"How about your chest? Do you experience chest pain?"

"A little bit."

Hange nods before looking around her and notices that other nurses are busy treating other patients, so there is no one that she can ask for help. She glances at the other soldier and asks, "I'm sorry, but can you stay with him? I have to fetch something from the pharmacy."

The soldier obliges and goes to his comrade's side. Meanwhile, Hange walks toward the other tent, the smaller one, to asks for penicillin and morphine. After getting what she needs, she returns to Mr. Church. She notices that the raven-haired soldier is giving Mr. Church a glass of water.

"What is it?" The other soldier asks on behalf of his comrade, his gaze stares intensely at her. "What happens to him?"

Hange takes the liquid morphine into the needle, preparing to give Mr. Church a shot. "Rheumatic fever, I'm afraid. It's quite common for soldiers to get it. If we didn't treat him soon, it can develop into a more serious illness."

The soldier pauses and looks at the weak body of his comrade. "Is he going to be okay?"

Hange cleans the area of his forearm and injects the solution through his vein. "I'm trying my best." She says before putting away the needle.

Mr. Church seems to be calmer after the shot. Hange smiles and gives him the tablet that she takes from her other pocket. He swallows it with water in one big gulp.

"How are you feeling?" She asks him again.

"A lot better." Mr. Church replies weakly, almost like a whisper. "Thank you."

She let out a relieved sigh, "You're welcome. As long as you are resting and drink your medicine, you should be fine. If you need anything, just call me."

Mr. Church hums while the other soldier nods at her. Hange is about to leave them, but she notices something from the corner of her eyes. She approaches the other soldier and grabs his right hand.

"What—"

"You are wounded." Hange exclaims when she sees a bandage wrapped around his palm.

He takes his hand away from her, voice latches with danger. "This is nothing."

"Nothing for you, but not for me. Even a small wound can be dangerous if it wasn't treated properly." She puts her hands on the side of her waist. "I'm a nurse, you have to listen to me."

He raises his brows at her. He looks curious as well a little bit surprised at her, and it oddly makes him appear more amiable than before. Hange cannot help but to loosen herself around him. She gently takes his hand again; her brown eyes stare deeply into his grey eyes. "Please, let me treat it."

His eyes widen and he quickly glances away from her. "Fine," he muttered.

Hange leads him to an empty bed next to Mr. Church—who already falls deep into his slumber. Hange gestures him to sit on the bed while she grabs a bandage and a bottle of antiseptic from her apron. She sits next to him and begins to unwrap his red and dirty bandage. She sees a gash on his palm, it is not alarming, but it still can lead to an infection.

As she cleans the cut, the soldier remains unmoved on his seat. He does not wince or hiss in pain. She takes the time to study him. He has a youthful face that seems to be stuck in a perpetual frown. His eyes are void with prominent dark bags underneath. Well, it is a well-known fact that most soldiers are sleep-deprived. Hange also shares her fair share of sleepless nights as her head is filled with worries and irrational fears.

Despite that, he is still a handsome man. He has a very strong jaw, and she imagines how well-built he is from all the training he endured. She wonders—

Hange scoffs as she brushes away her thought. She must remember that they are currently in a war, where a lot of life is at the stake. The life of the soldiers, of the volunteers, and of the innocent civilians.

"What the hell are you doing."

Hange looks at him and tilts her head, "What am I doing?"

"You are grinning like an idiot." He tells her. Even though his words are a little bit crude, she cannot detect any mockery in his tone.

Hange laughs as she realizes that she has just made a fool of herself. She shakes her head as she feels a subtle flush on her cheeks, "Nothing."

He raises one of his eyebrows, "You are weird."

She shrugs as she grabs the clean bandage, "I get that a lot, trust me." Hange carefully wraps his palm. He does not give her any response, but Hange knows that he is watching her.

After making sure that there are no other wounds on him, she puts the rest of the bandage and bottle to her apron while she collects the dirty bandage. "You should try to take care of yourself more." She mutters without even looking at him.

"We are in a war. There are a lot of more important things to consider, there are a lot of comrades to protect."

Hange turns to look at him, "Well, but you couldn't save someone when you're dead, right?"

He stares at her, folding his hands on his chest. "Maybe I can."

"I agree to disagree." She mutters as she checks on Mr. Church for the last time before looking back at him. "Please look after him. If you need anything, just call me or any of the nurses here."

She walks away from their bed, there are other soldiers that she needs to take care of. However, that does not change the fact that she can not stop glancing into their direction, especially to the nameless soldier.

It has been almost two weeks since the first time Hange met Mr. Church and the nameless soldier. She sees the nameless soldier a few times when he is visiting Mr. Church, who is slowly but surely recovering from his illness. Unfortunately, no matter how much she wants to try to have a conversation with him, she knows how important her duty is. Thus, every time they meet; he usually nods at her while she can only responds with a small smile.

When she first volunteered to the American Red Cross as a nurse, she knows that it will not be an easy job. Treating a wounded soldier is different than treating a patient in a hospital. There is a hidden more complex nature of their mind who is also injured alongside their physical body. Thus, she found herself not only treating external wounds but also their mind.

There is a young man, a soldier, who got shot in the arm. Hange remembers him due to the snake tattoo that he has on his forearm. One day, when Hange is trying to change his bandage, the young man suddenly becomes furious. He refuses to be touched by her, he even shouts at her and throws the bandage at her.

Other nurses are trying to calm him, but it comes to no avail. As if the young man is possessed, his eyes empty but burning. Hange comes forward, trying to soothe him, but he immediately raises his hand toward her. Hange is about to react, but the movement of his hand is already come to a halt by another hand.

"Is that how you show your gratitude toward the people who treat you?" Hange notices that the nameless soldier is holding the arm of the young man. There is a fury in his expression as he mutters to the young man, "Don't do something that you will regret later."

The young man stares at him before glancing toward the nurses who are surrounding his bed. He begins to sniffle as he brings his hands to his face. "I'm sorry..." He whispers before his voice slowly turns into a cry.

Hange glances toward the nameless soldier and smiles, "Thank you."

He nods at her before leaving to return to Mr. Church who witnesses the whole event from his bed.

Later, Hange and another nurse, Nanaba, gently approach the young man. They learn that his name is Daniel. It turns out, he is the only son of a single mother who lives in Florida.

"I don't want to come home." He tells them as he let Hange to change his bandage. "I don't know what to say when I meet her."

"Is there a reason why?" Nanaba asks, sitting on a stool next to the bed.

"She didn't want me to fight in the war while I see this as my duty. She's always like that, telling me to do this, to do that. Can't she just see that I want to choose my own path? I got mad at her, so we ended up fighting the day before I was deployed. I haven't talked to her ever since… She must hate me."

"I don't think so." Hange remarks. "The fact that she forbids you to go to the war really indicates how much she loves you. She doesn't want to lose you, Daniel."

"You think so?" There is a hopeful tone in his voice.

"Of course, there's nothing that she wants other than to welcome you back." Hange says as she wraps the new bandage on his arm. "I think you two misunderstood each other's intention."

"Really?"

Nanaba nods in agreement, "Yes. That's why you have to stay healthy, Daniel. So, you can meet her again. Hopefully, by then, you two can have a heart-to-heart conversation."

He smiles, "Right. I will do that."

"In the meantime, why don't you tell us about your mother? She seems to be an interesting lady." Hange adds as she finishes bandaging his hand.

The young man's face lightens up from the mention. He then spends the rest of the night talking to Hange and Nanaba about his mother.

The American troops return to the battle in the South of Ardennes after three weeks of retreating from the battle. Mr. Furlan is still too weak to join the battle, so he does not participate in the battle. During the time, Hange speaks to him a few times. Through him, she learns that the name of the mysterious soldier. Levi Ackerman is his name.

"Please don't take this the wrong way, Miss Nurse." Mr. Furlan tells her when she comes to give him medicine. "But I just want to say that you are really pretty."

Hange raises one of her brows and glances at him in confusion. She then let out a giggle. It is not uncommon for the nurses to receive compliments or even proposals during their service. Which is actually a sad thing, showing how lonely the soldiers are during the war.

"What do you want, Mr. Furlan?" Hange teases as she prepares to inject the needles.

"Nothing. I'm just stating my observation."

"Well, thank you, Mr. Furlan. From my observation, you are a handsome man yourself."

He hisses in pain as Hange gives him a compliment as well as the needle injection. "Uh, I never thought you would return it back."

"That's just how I was raised." Hange smiles before giving him a tablet and a glass of water.

He laughs before swallowing his medicine. "Hey, do you have a boyfriend, Miss?"

Hange grins and folds her hands, "You are quite a talker, Mr. Furlan."

He puts the glass away and raises both of his hands in surrender. "I'm asking for a friend, not for me."

She narrows her eyes and mutter in a playful tone, "A friend?"

"Yeah, for a friend. I think he is interested in you. But he's shy and quite hopeless, to be honest. That's why, as his best friend, I want to help him."

She pauses before letting out a chuckle, "If that is true, then tell your friend to ask me directly, Mr. Furlan." Hange answers as she walks away from him. In her head, she tries to think about which friend he is talking about. A figure appears on her head, but she quickly dismisses it. In the end, she concludes that Mr. Furlan was only teasing her out of boredom.

After two months of battle, the American forces are finally able to push Germany from the South of Ardennes. The battle finishes just a week before Christmas. However, the Germany immediately plans for a counteroffensive in the dense forest of the Ardennes itself. The American decides to retreat again to the field hospital, to revise their plan and to let the soldiers receive treatment. They plan to return to the battlefield the day after Christmas.

During Christmas, both sides are having a ceasefire. The troops hold a party for the soldiers, the medical practitioners, and for the supporting staff of the war. For a day, they are allowed to forget about the state of the world that they are currently living in. They sing carols, they pray together, and they dance around the fireplace.

As much as Hange wants to join the party, she volunteers to stay in the medical tent with other soldiers who cannot join the party due to their sickness and injury. She is not alone though, she is with Nanaba. They think that they ought to give the older nurses and doctors a chance to unwind themselves from their duty.

"Do you want to listen to a story, Miss Nanaba, Miss Hange?" A man with brown hair inquires as Nanaba applies a new compress to his forehead. Meanwhile, Hange is a few beds away from them, currently taking the sheet off the empty bed to put it on the basket.

"Is it a story about your wife and your daughter, Mr. John?" Nanaba replies with a cheerful tone.

The man shows his left hand, a golden wedding band can be seen circling around his ring finger. "Yes, look at this, isn't this beautiful? Every time I see this ring, I remember my beloved. She is the most beautiful, kindest, and intelligent person I've ever met."

"Yes, Mr. John. It's beautiful." Nanaba nods at him.

Hange smiles as she listens to their exchanges, if she ends up with someone who loves her the same way Mr. John gushes over his wife, Hange would become the happiest person ever.

"Ah, wait until you meet my daughter." He grabs something from under his pillow, it is a photo. He shows the photo to Nanaba. "Look at her, isn't she precious? The last time I met her, she could barely stand on her own… I wonder how big she has gotten? I bet she has grown into a cheerful and energetic child. I'm sure she's currently running around the house, tiring her mother to no end."

Hange puts the sheet to the basket before approaching him and Nanaba. "We know, Mr. John. You miss them, right?"

The man let out a sad smile as he stares at the photo, "Yes. It's been four years since the last time I spent Christmas with them…"

Hange shares a look of understanding with Nanaba. The blonde nurse gives a pill to the man, "Let's wish that we are finally able to celebrate the next Christmas in the warmness of our homes."

The man nods, his eyes are bright with hopes. After taking his pill, it does not take him long to finally sleep. Nanaba tucks him into the blanket before helping Hange to take off the dirty sheets, blankets, and pillowcases.

However, suddenly, two men come into the tent. Hange recognizes them, they are Mr. Furlan and Mr. Ackerman. Hange and Nanaba ask them about their visit to the tent. Mr. Furlan informs them that a soldier was injured at the party, he broke his ankle.

"Well, I guess someone is getting a little too excited at the party." Nanaba remarks, her voice latches in worry but also amusement.

"I know." Mr. Furlan chuckles. "There are a bunch of nurses and doctors at the party, so we come here just to ask for a first aid bag."

"Oh, it's on the pharmacy tent. Let me get—" Hange's speech is cut short by Nanaba.

"No, Hans. You stay here. If there's an emergency, you are the best we got."

Hange furrows her brows, "Huh? Alright."

"Good idea!" Mr. Furlan exclaims before gesturing toward the other soldier. "I will go to the pharmacy with her while you stay here, just in case Miss Nurse needs your help."

Neither Hange or Mr. Ackerman are able to reply or object because both Mr. Furlan and Nanaba vanish in a blink of an eye. Hange glances toward him and as usual, he has that trademark frown on his face. Suddenly, he looks at her and it catches her off guard. He seems to be surprised too, but he hides it quickly. "What can I do to help?"

"Ah—Uhm, you can help me to change the bedsheets." Hange explains, gesturing toward the empty beds inside the tent.

He nods and walks toward a bed on the corner while Hange chooses the bed across from him. She keeps looking at him, not so subtly because he realizes it.

"What?" He asks when they both go toward the basket at the same time, putting the old bedsheet inside.

Hange smiles sheepishly, "Ah, I just realize. I never catch your name." She says, which is obviously a lie.

He shrugs, "Well, I never throw it to you."

She chuckles, it is probably not something he says to amuse her. It is probably not even that funny, but she still laughs anyway. There is just something about him that attracts her right from the start.

"But I can throw it if you want." He says with a little hint of humor that is hidden underneath his blank stare.

"I don't want you to throw it." She replies with a grin. "I want you to lay it to me gently."

He raises one of his eyebrows before giving her a subtle smirk, "Levi Ackerman. Just call me Levi."

"Hange Zoë, pleasure to meet you." She nods at him, "I let the soldiers call me anything, but they mostly call me Miss Nurse."

"That's a bit of mouthful."

"Well, what do you want to call me, then?"

He smirks at her before returning to another bed, "Enough chatting, there's a lot of stinky bedsheets that we need to change, four-eyes."

Hange raises her eyebrows, intrigued by the nickname that he gives her. She laughs and answers, "Yes, yes, Mr. Soldier."

After taking off all the bedsheets, they replace it with a brand new one. At first, she thinks that he helps her out of politeness, but it seems he really enjoys the task. He makes sure that the surface of the sheets and pillowcases are smooth, he even folds the blankets very neatly. Hange smiles the whole time as she observes him and the subtle joy that appears in his expression.

"How long since they'd been gone?" Levi asks as he sits on the chair while Hange sits across the table, his hand holding a cup with steaming liquid inside.

"Too long." Hange answers before she sips a cup of warm instant tea that she made.

He hums, taking the cup to his mouth. "Maybe your friend gets caught up in the party."

"Maybe." She giggles, putting the cup on the table. Hange scans his face and blurts out, "Speaking of, I heard that you are the best soldier that we got in here."

He scoffs at her remark, "Nonsense."

"They say you are so strong, it almost like you are invincible in battle."

He clicks his tongue, narrowing his eyes at her. "I never thought you like to gossip."

"Well, sometimes I do." Hange replies as she looks at his posture. This is her first time seeing him without his uniform. He still wears his uniform pants and shoes, but this time he wears a white shirt that shows his muscles. She returns her gaze to his cup as she tries to keep herself from smiling.

"You know, I've never seen you before." Levi suddenly asks her. Hange is pleasantly surprised by his question, he never thinks that he is interested to get to know her.

She chuckles, "Of course, this is my first time being a nurse in a field hospital. Before this, I acted as a nurse aide for a year in the big hospital. However, as the war stretches all the way into years, the demand for medics in the front lines is high as ever. That's why I began my work here last October."

"I see." He acknowledges. "That explains why you look so young."

Hange tilts her head in amusement, "You speak like you are an old man."

"Maybe I am."

"I don't believe it. How old are you?"

Levi looks at her for a few seconds before glancing away. "Today I turn 26."

Hange blinks as she stares at him. Suddenly, her eyes widen when she understands the implication. "OH MY GOD!"

"Hey, quiet!" Levi reprimands as he looks at the surrounding. Fortunately, the patients are still sleeping soundly on their bed.

"Oh my God." Hange repeats with reduces volume as she smiles joyfully at him. "Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday, Levi!"

"Thanks." He murmurs before sipping his tea again.

They sit together in silence as they wait for their respective friends to return from whatever journey they are having. But then, as the night goes even more late, Hange feels herself to be in a talkative mood. Thus, she decides to break their silence by asking the question that she has been wanting to ask. "What do you think about the war?"

He does not immediately answer nor even spare her a glance. However, he looks like he is in deep thought. Hange realizes that maybe, they are not that close yet for her to ask such a question.

"You don't have to answer it—"

"It's a lot of things, you can ask one soldier to another, and they would probably give you different answers."

"…Well, how about you, then?" She speaks her words slowly and softly.

He let out a sigh. "It feels like a nightmare that you can't wake up from. It went on and on, constantly. In the end, you have no fucking idea which one is a reality, and which one is a dream."

She notices the veins that appear on his temple, and she also notices how he grips his cup tighter. "I'm sorry. That must be hard and confusing for you." Hange utters gently and carefully.

"Yeah, it's very shitty." He adds as he looks at her. "It changes people too, you know. Not only the soldiers."

She nods weakly, "Yeah. This is a world war. I'm sure that by the end of this, the world will change too."

"True… and I don't think I want to change." He remarks. "That's why sometimes I wonder if it would be better for me to just run toward the bullets."

Hange's body freezes as she holds her breath, "What—"

"It's a joke." He immediately reiterates, his lips grinning as if he is emphasizing his words.

Hange narrows her eyes at him, not in every ounce believing his words. She bites her bottom lips before asking, "Don't you have someone waiting for you back home?"

"No."

Hange's heart sinks when she heard that. Then, without even thinking about what she is about to say, she boldly declares, "Well, you have it now."

He narrows his grey eyes as he stares at her with uncertainty, "Huh?"

She returns his intense stare with a softer and gentler one, "You heard me."

There are a lot of emotions passing through his face. His eyes widen at her, while his mouth left slightly agape. He seems like he wants to reply, but no voice is heard.

"That's why you have to promise me that you will survive." She smiles at him. "Because I'll be waiting here for you."

It takes her a few more minutes to realizes what she was implying. At which she quickly feels heat crawling onto her cheeks, she tries to open her mouth to save them from the impending awkwardness.

"Sorry we took so long." A cheery deep voice comes into the tent, it is Nanaba's voice. "Ah, Mr. Ackerman. Your friend said that if you need him, you can meet him at the party."

Levi leaves his seat walks toward Nanaba. "I see, thank you for the information."

"No, I should be the one who thanks you for helping, right Hange?"

Hange's body jolts with shock at the mention of her name. She immediately stands up from his seat and exclaims, "Yes… thank you, sir."

"Don't worry about it."

She can hears the hoarseness of his voice, but she does not have the courage to take a look at his face. Even when he bids his farewell to them, she still chooses to keep her head low, purposely avoiding his face.

However, that does not mean she does not wonder about the expression that he makes when she told him that.

—Chapter I End—

Notes:

Thank you for reading! I took a break from writing a historical AU fic by writing another historical AU fic HAHA! This is also my first time writing a mature story and an angst!

Anyway, I learned a lot of things regarding the WW2 while writing this fic, especially about the experience of the nurses and the soldiers.