This is probably going to be the last one - shot for One Chicago Appreciation Week 2021!

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters from the OneChicago world

Day 1 Prompt: "I can't think straight with you."

"More than enough"

Hailey had suspected for a while. Her astute detective skills leading her to believe until she without a doubt had to know. Of course, it was a little difficult keeping her suspicions from Jay, even more so when his gaze lingered on her worriedly because she still looked a little pale.

But when she could no longer stand not knowing, she'd plucked up the courage and did what was needed. That was how she found herself, sitting on the bathroom floor, test in hand. She'd been a bundle of nerves as she waited for the results and when the timer on her phone pinged, she'd felt her stomach twist. Though that was nothing compared to what she felt when she saw the two little lines.

Pregnant.

She'd been sick all over again. Then came the swift change from elation to panic to nausea back to panic again. Of course, this was a possibility – especially when they had been as amorous with each other as they had been in the last few weeks. Then again, they'd never had a problem in that department.

Hailey desperately wanted to feel excited but all she could think about was how unready she was. She had no idea how to be a mother. No idea if she could do it better than her parents did. She had no doubts Jay would be amazing, but didn't he deserve to have someone as amazing as him to raise his child?

She ducked her head between her legs, breathing deeply. Honestly, she felt like perhaps she would have had more time to prepare. More time to learn how to be better and do better than what she'd been given.

They'd only been married a short while and sometimes Hailey felt like she was still learning the basics of that! This would completely throw them for a loop. Not to mention, it didn't seem like the greatest of times to be having a kid. Voight had been silently and slowly preparing Jay to take over, and the first thing that needed to be done was for Jay to take the sergeant's exam. He'd been thinking it over a little more seriously in the past few weeks and Hailey had eagerly encouraged it. The last distraction he needed was a baby.

Without a doubt, Hailey knew Jay would be overjoyed. They hadn't spoken much about kids or the like but she knew deep down, it was something he wanted. Oh, he would be so wonderful! And that gave her a little more cause to panic.

Trapped in her musings, she didn't hear the bathroom door open, but she did hear him take a seat beside her. His scent was something she quickly picked up and it comforted her almost immediately. For the longest time, he didn't say a word, he merely sat there hand on her back rubbing soothing circles.

"I was worried when you left the district without a word," he said softly. "Are you okay?"

She'd played it off as nothing more than the odd flu, but now she knew it wasn't. And Hailey wasn't very good with lying to Jay. He would know. He always did.

She clutched the test in her hand, hidden from his view before she gathered her courage to look up at him. She knew she'd been crying, her face now obviously a little splotchy and red.

"Hails …"

She felt her heartbreak because even in that simple word, he carried so much. How could she ever measure up to that? He loved her so unconditionally and she knew she loved him just the same but what about the life within her now? Was she good enough for that?

Hailey closed her eyes and for a moment all she could hear was the heavy roar of her father in distant memories and her mother weeping, standing over them. Something clattered in the room but all Hailey saw in the back of her mind was the silver of her father's belt.

She whimpered and immediately Jay was drawing her closer. "Hailey," he whispered gently. She pressed her face into his chest, inhaling his calming scent, though her tears still flowed freely.

Jay pressed a kiss to her hair, one hand running up her back the other buried into her hair. "It's okay, babe. I've got you."

Somehow that only made her cry a little more. She was so afraid. She was just now learning how to be a wife, what did she know about being a mother?

"Please tell me what's wrong," he pleaded softly with her. "I want to help."

"I – I know." Because that's all he had ever wanted to do; help make her feel safe and loved. He'd been doing it for far longer than he realised.

"You can tell me anything."

She nodded and then buried her face back in his chest, needing one more moment. She would tell him, but first, she needed to steel her courage.

"No matter what, I love you," Jay whispered pressing one more kiss to her forehead. Her eyes fell shut with the feel of his lips lingering there and she grasped his shirt tightly.

She shifted, reaching behind her, where the test had fallen and brought it around, quickly holding it out to him.

He was silent, taking it from her and looking down. She saw about a dozen emotions flicker in those beautiful green eyes of his and each one was more heart-stopping than the next.

"Are … you're …" he stuttered.

Silently Hailey nodded, her words were still lost on her. She watched the test in Jay's hand. The way his fingers tightened around the little thing that had now completely flipped their lives over. She inhaled sharply trying to soothe her fears because he had yet to say more.

Hailey bit the inside of her cheek and she forced the tears back. Her panic now rising with each moment they sat in silence. Did Jay believe what she believed? That she was not ready. How could she be?

"You don't look … happy about this…" he remarked more than asked. His voice was gentle, his tone soothing but still she could hear the worry beneath his words.

"I …" she huffed out a frustrated breath and finally wiped away her tears before looking up at him. "I don't know how I feel." He frowned and suddenly her answer felt meek. "I'm still trying to figure out if …" she trailed off looking at him uncertainly.

"If?" he asked and she saw the fear there in his eyes. For one moment he worried she wouldn't want this too.

Only she did. So much. But her fear and her past held to her like a vice.

She worried her lip between her teeth and felt more tears slip down her cheek. She didn't bother chasing them away this time. That was entirely too tiring. So, she let them fall and now that she was crying freely Jay eyed her more worriedly.

"It's okay, we'll figure it out," Jay soothed but that didn't seem like enough to Hailey.

She pushed away from him shaking her head. He looked at her with wide, worried eyes. "No! Jay! What if we don't? What if I'm terrible at this? I thought I'd have more time to …" she choked back another sob and then continued her jumbled ramblings. "I don't know how! My own… ugh!" she buried her face in her hands shaking her head furiously. She stayed like that for a moment until Jay attempted to pry her hands away. Stubbornly she refused.

"Hails, I don't understand a lot of what's going on in your head right now. But I want to, so please … just talk to me."

"I'm scared, Jay," she admitted in a small voice so unlike her unusual self.

He pulled her a little closer and she felt that protective feeling that only Jay seemed to bring, sink deep in her bones.

"What scares you, Hails?"

"Everything." Her head fell against his chest, his heart beneath her ear and she closed her eyes, listening to the steady rhythm for a moment. "I – I don't know how to do this." She was even more panicked when she added, "I don't know if I'm going to be any good at this! I thought I'd have more time to prepare – to learn!" She shook her head again, biting down on her lip. "I feel like …"

"Like?"

Hailey glanced over at him and nearly groaned. "Like I can't think straight! I can't think straight with you!" She exhaled sharply noticing the furrowing of his brows. "Not …not when you look at me like that!"

"Like what?" Jay asked truly confused.

"Like we're going to be okay. That this isn't going to completely turn our lives over! Jay this is a big thing! It's a baby!"

"I know."

"Then why aren't you freaking out?" she snapped almost angry that he should be so calm when she was nearly losing her mind.

"Because …" he trailed off and then sort of shrugged avoiding her eyes.

Hailey's anger deflated almost immediately, seeming to understand what he would not say. He wasn't freaking out because just like she had known, this was something he always wanted.

He sighed and when he spoke, he looked ahead rather than at her. "I always thought I might like to have a kid one day."

"Yeah, one day," Hailey repeated quietly. "Don't you think it's too soon?"

"I don't know. Do you?"

She looked down at the test, still in his hands. "I think so… I feel like I need more time to learn how to do this."

Jay finally turned to look at her. "You're not your parents, Hailey. Neither one of us is."

"You really believe that?" She asked and he nodded, leaning forward to press another kiss to her forehead. "I want to do this. More than anything, I do want this," she admitted to him and she felt his fingers tighten on her, "but I'm so scared that I'll be terrible at it. Especially with this job… how are we going to make this work?"

"Together," Jay shrugged because it was the only answer he had.

"What if that's not enough? What if we're not enough?"

Jay smiled, surprising her and then leaned in, tipping her chin up so he could kiss her earnestly. She matched his fervour, forgetting for a moment the tears still on her face or the test in his hand.

"We're more than enough," he whispered against her lips.

"Are… are you happy about this?" it seemed like a stupid question but Hailey had to know.

"I'm happy with any kind of life with you Hailey," Jay answered. "I just want you to be happy."

Hailey frowned. "That doesn't answer my question."

Jay huffed and then with a small smile said, "Yes I am. But I can understand if you're not –"

"I am!" she quickly corrected him and he stopped waiting for her to continue. "I was so scared earlier because I do want this. So much. But I want to know that I'm ready for it and that I can do it better than my parents did. I … I don't want to screw this child up as my parents did to me!" She rambled on but Jay didn't stop her, though she almost wished he would. "So I am happy and I do want this. I'm just -"

"Scared," Jay finished and Hailey nodded. "Me too," he told her, his lips pressed to her hair. She looked up at him in surprise and he chuckled at her expression. "I'm scared too. But I want this – with you. And I bet there's going to be a lot coming that's going to be scary but we'll face it as we've always done together. Remember, I go where you go."

"Are you sure you want this with … me?" She asked him because he had to know what a big risk he was taking.

He looked offended at her question. In fact, from the sudden movement of his body, she would guess he was very offended. "What the hell kind of question is that? Who else would I want this with?"

"I'm just saying … are you sure? This is not going to be easy and -"

"Hailey, no," Jay said vehemently shaking his head.

She grasped his arm, her nails almost biting into his skin, "Jay, you don't understand. You've wanted this a lot longer than I, simply because I didn't think it was possible for me to ever find someone who I'd love and trust enough to want to raise a child with. You're … amazing Jay. You always have been and you deserve someone just as amazing to raise your kid."

"Our kid," Jay corrected rather sharply. He looked at her with steel in his eyes. "Our kid, Hails. And there is absolutely no doubt that you're the one I want to raise this child with." He smiled, laughing a little too and Hailey couldn't for the life of her understand what was so funny. "You seem to forget… or perhaps I don't remind you enough, but you're rather amazing too, Hailey Anne."

She felt his words to the bottom of her heart and she blushed a little with how hard he was looking at her. No doubt, a look like that had been part of why they were sitting on the bathroom floor, currently.

She fiddled with the button on his shirt, her cheeks still a little warm. "I need you to promise me that …" she paused exhaling as she looked at him seriously, "promise me that we'll never – that you'll never let me become anything like my parents."

Jay gave her the softest look she'd ever seen on him. "I don't think that is even possible but I do promise," he said knowing she needed to hear it. He reached for her hand, threading their fingers together. "We'll learn how to do this together. But the way I see it, we have a pretty good idea of what not to do and I think that's a good enough place to start for now."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," Jay nodded, kissing her once more.

Hailey sighed into the kiss and for the first time, since seeing the two little lines, she allowed herself to feel her true emotions. Happiness; pure elation because there was a little life inside of her. The perfect mix of Jay and herself and she was nearly brimming with excitement. It was more than she had ever dared to dream for herself.

When Jay pulled back, he was grinning too. He helped her off the bathroom floor and guided her towards their bed. He settled them against the pillows, pulling Hailey into his arms. She snuggled closer and sighed as Jay pressed a gentle kiss to her temple. Hailey looked up again and saw that soft smile playing on his lips. He was looking at something over her shoulder and it took her a moment to realise he must still have the test in hand.

"What are you thinking about?" she asked.

Jay shifted, pushing her hair over her shoulder. "How lucky I am." He leaned in kissing her softly. "I love you, Hails. And I promise it's going to be okay. We'll figure it out."

She believed him. He said it so plainly and confidently, with no embellishments or wild gestures. Just him and her and that was all she needed.

"It's okay to be scared," Jay told her. "Especially about this."

"You don't fear you'll become just like them?" Hailey asked though she only had his father in mind. She knew Jay's relationship with his mother was less complicated.

"I used to," he confessed. She felt his fingers dance delicately over her skin as he spoke, "I always tried so hard not to be anything like him. Not to want anything from him and eventually, I realised I'd never be like him because we just weren't the same." He winced for a moment, "It sounds a little stupid, doesn't it?"

"No, no it doesn't," Hailey quickly assured him. She bit her lip anxiously thinking over his words, her mind working a thousand miles a minute.

Jay tipped her chin up, holding her there so he could look into those blue eyes that were his light. "You're not like him Hailey, not even a little bit." He caught the tears sliding down her cheeks. "And you're not like her too."

"How can you be sure?" her voice was small and full of all the vulnerability she felt.

"Because I know your heart and soul, Hailey Halstead," his fingers dipped down her neck, running to her furiously beating heart. "I know what's in here and believe me, it's more than I could ever ask for."

She choked back a sob pressing herself closer to Jay. She hid her face in his chest as his hands ran over her hair soothingly.

"I'm going to be better," she hiccupped too emotional to be embarrassed. "I'm going to be good enough for this baby … and you."

"Oh babe, you already are," Jay whispered tenderly. His lips lingered against her forehead and she drank him in, holding him as tightly as she dared. "Believe me," he implored so ardently, she looked up at him, "there is no one else I would want this life with. It's you. It's always going to be you."

As always, his words left her a little speechless. It took her a moment to gather her thoughts and calm her heart. "I never thought about having this life with anyone… not until you came along."

He shifted and Hailey laid her head down on his chest, listening once more to the steady thrum of his heartbeat. They were quiet, Jay had found the pregnancy test once again, holding it out for them both to stare at.

Hailey found her courage then, inhaling deeply as she explained her fears a little more. "I remember my mom cowering before him," she said quietly. She felt Jay tense beneath her but he said nothing. "Sometimes she'd be able to hold him off from us… but other times, well we weren't so lucky." She sighed deeply and closed her eyes, tears falling again. She felt Jay's gentle touch as he wiped them away. "I remember wondering why it hurt so much if he said he loved us. Love wasn't supposed to hurt like that. I … remember thinking my mom should have done better to protect us." She turned to Jay with fear and pain in her eyes. "I don't want my child to ever feel like that."

"It won't be like that. We're going to make sure it's not like that," Jay vowed and Hailey nodded vehemently. "And if we feel like we're slipping up or going down a road we shouldn't, we'll tell each other. We'll be honest, always."

"Deal." Hailey sighed feeling his reassurance as clearly as she felt his love.

His fingers toyed with her hair and Hailey hummed in delight. "What do you want it to be?"

He paused Hailey blinked an eye open watching him with some amusement. "A girl. I want a girl."

"Really?" she asked laughing a little.

"Yeah? Why not?"

"Well … I just figured you'd want a boy you know to teach him to play baseball and take him to games and all that," she shrugged.

Jay laughed. "Well, I'm going to teach our kid that no matter what," he affirmed and Hailey felt a new rush run through her at his words. "What do you want?"

She frowned for a moment thinking it over, "I don't mind." Jay looked like he didn't believe her and she chuckled. "Really, I don't. As long as he or she is healthy … and happy."

"They will be. We're gonna make it so that this child is loved. So loved and happy," Jay promised her. "And it's not always going to be easy but we're always going to try, right?"

"Yes," she answered resolutely. Exhaling she cupped his cheek, shuffling closer. She could feel him smile beneath her fingers and that made her smile.

"No matter what happens, Hailey, you're not alone," Jay whispered. "I'm here. And I know the rest of the team will always have our backs. We've got our family, right here. They'll help us. They always have."

Hailey nodded and Jay smiled again but a moment later his brow furrowed.

"What?"

"Well," he started hesitantly, "it's just …" he stuttered and Hailey was surprised. It was unusual that Jay couldn't find the words.

"What is it, Jay?"

He exhaled, "Is it safe – for you to be on active duty?"

That gave Hailey pause. She sat up a little, as she thought it over. Would it be safe?

"I don't want to tell you what to do," Jay continued almost nervously, "But I don't want anything to happen to either of you."

"It's still early days," Hailey said quietly.

"I know. I do. But … this job – things get rough more often than we like," Jay reminded her. He grasped her hands in his. "I just want you safe."

She turned to him with tears in her eyes. "I know. Ugh! You're right!" she chuckled teary-eyed. "Let me just make an appointment first and make sure everything is okay and then I guess I'll speak to Voight."

"Everyone's going to figure it out after that, you know right?" Jay laughed. He didn't want to freak her out anymore but it was inevitable. They worked with very inquisitive, clever people.

Hailey laughed, "Oh I know. But I don't think there's any harm in sharing this kind of news with family."

There was that soft look in his eyes again. "Yeah, I guess you're right." He leaned up a little and kissed her.

Hailey could feel her excitement and joy build with each minute they sat with the news. Jay's joy was so unbridled and evident in his face. She grinned unable to stop herself when she felt his fingers sneak under her shirt, grazing over the still flat belly.

"Thank you," he whispered and she frowned confused.

"For what?"

"Everything," he leaned in, kissing her again and she smiled against his lips.

"Everything is going to change now," she murmured and it might have freaked her out completely, before, but Jay was right; they were more than enough and they were going to be okay. She told him as much. Her hand skimming down to where his still lingered. She intertwined their fingers, gently pressing against her belly. Jay closed what little space was between them, his lips pressed to her forehead as his other hand pulled Hailey closer. All he had ever wanted and more than he'd ever dreamed of was right there in his arms.

AN: I can never seem to write these things in order! Oh well, here is the last of what I have for OneChicago Appreciation Week 2021. I have to say, I really enjoyed this. I didn't think the whole angst/ whump would be my thing or that I'd be very good at it but I'm very pleased with what I've put out and more importantly I am so glad you all have enjoyed it! Please leave a little love!

Stay safe friends!