We'll Be Together

Chandler exaggerated a cough and croaked weakly into the phone as he spoke to his assistant.

"Yeah, I'm not going to make it in today. I'm real sick. Phlegm everywhere."

He clutched his collar tight to his throat and let out another strained cough, letting it linger and bark from his throat.

"That's right. Hopefully it's just one of those twenty-four-hour things and I'll be able to catch up on everything tomorrow. Right. Okay. Bye-bye now."

He clicked off the receiver and spun around with renewed energy and a gleeful smile as he tossed the phone playfully onto the counter. So much like a schoolboy that got a thrill from playing hooky and cutting class.

"I don't know what Joey is talking about! This acting thing is easy!" He did a quick dance, bobbing back and forth before turning his attention to the television. "Okay! Prisoner marathon! Here I come!"

Chandler bounced into the livingroom and leapt onto the Barcalounger with giddy delight as he snatched the TV Guide from the arm of the chair. Once he settled in and found that sweet spot where he felt like his backside fused to the seat, he checked the listings again to confirm the start time for the marathon of "The Prisoner" that he had been anticipating all week.

He reached down to the floor and pulled a giant tub of popcorn into his lap. It was divided into three sections. Cheese, butter and caramel. He looked over his shoulder, almost instinctively, but with Joey out all-day auditioning, he had no need to fret about losing more than half of his private stash of snacks to his insatiable roommate.

He spun around and grabbed a bottle of Yoohoo from the counter behind him, and then pivoted again to face the TV. He shifted slightly until he had the perfect angle to ensure a view that would be unobstructed by glare or shadows. He then glanced over at the remote to check that it was still nestled next to him on the arm of the chair.

He couldn't believe it. The apartment all to himself. No work. Plenty of junk food and chocolate milk and a classic TV show that he prepared himself to watch for the next seventeen-hours. A herculean viewing session. A world record no doubt. He almost wanted to pinch himself to make sure that this was really happening, but decided against it since he bruised like a banana.

He lifted the remote, turned the TV on, and tossed a piece of popcorn in his mouth as he rested his head back and let out a relaxed "ahhhh".

Suddenly, with a violent, chaotic swing, the door to the apartment swung open, disturbing Chandler's peaceful repose. He spun around only to be greeted by a hurried and frazzled Ross who was dragging himself into the kitchen as if he were weighed down by a thousand heavy chains. In one hand, he was pulling a stroller through the doorway, in the other, he had precariously balanced a diaper bag, backpack and his briefcase, like some one-handed juggler. Even though Ben was born a few months ago, Chandler still was taken off-guard every time he saw Ross in full-fledged "dad" mode.

He took another look and found that his friend was quite a sight to see. Ross's hair a ruffled, jagged mess. His tie loose and twisted. Sweat beaded on his forehead and wet circles of an unknown origin on the front of his shirt. He was a shambling heap of a man that was now almost unrecognizable to Chandler.

"Chandler? Where's Monica?"

"Oh, let me just check the minutes from our last board meeting." Chandler mimed opening a book and then nodded with his eyebrows arched high in exaggerated discovery.

Ross glared at him. "Oh good. I needed to find Monica so she can watch Ben while I go to work, but now that you made your little joke, everything is fine!"

"Sorry pal but I don't know where she is."

"What?" Ross angrily flipped his bags on top of the foosball table and fumed. "She's supposed to be here! I have a meeting at the museum at nine that I can't get out of. She told me she would be home today."

"I don't know what to tell you buddy."

"Man. There's no way I can get to Carol and Susan's before I have to go to work. I can't bring Ben to the museum. What am I going to do?"

Chandler shook his head and closed his eyes, already regretting the words before they came out of his mouth. "I guess…well…you can leave him with me until Monica comes home."

Ross let out a loud, sarcastic laugh. "Yeah, right. You mean like last time? Ooo, maybe you can lose him on the subway. Or what about a zepplin!"

"That was different?"

"How?"

"Because I was with Joey. Besides, Monica should be home soon enough. How hard could it be to keep an eye on a sleeping baby for a few minutes?"

Ross rolled his eyes and shook his head. "You have no idea. Look, I appreciate it, but this is one of those thanks, but no thanks situation."

Chandler shrugged his shoulders and spun around again to face the television. "Okay. Suit yourself."

Ross got quiet. He looked down at Ben, then back at Chandler. He then looked across the hall. "I guess it won't be that long." He rubbed his chin as he tried to convince himself that this was not a bad idea.

"Sure, just plop him down here." Chandler patted the side of the chair, barely looking up as he was mollified by the images on the TV.

Ross pushed Ben's stroller over and then studied the television inquisitively. "Hey, is this The Prisoner?"

Chandler smiled and bounced in his seat. "You know it buddy! All seventeen episodes!"

"Oh I love this show."

"I know."

"You can't watch this."

Chandler's smile faded as he lifted his eyebrow with aggrieved confusion. "What? Why not?"

"I can't have Ben watching this. This is too violent."

"It's 1960s violence. That practically makes it a kid's show today."

Ross stood between Chandler and the television and sternly shook his head, like a teacher who found his students passing notes in class. "Chandler. I'm serious. What if he wakes up when someone is getting killed or something?"

Chandler looked over at Ben in the stroller and nodded. "You're right."

"Thank you."

Chandler grabbed the handle to the stroller and then spun it around on two wheels until it was facing the opposite direction. "There. Now when he wakes up, all he will see is the refrigerator."

Ross, clearly out of patience, walked into the kitchen and grabbed his briefcase. "Fine. But if he wakes up, you have to turn that off." He stepped to the door and opened it, placing one foot in the hallway. "Okay, now he already has a few bottles of breastmilk in Monica's fridge and there's diapers in the bag. And if he gets cranky you can always give him Steggy."

Chandler spun around twisted his brow. "What is Steggy?"

"Steggy the Stegosaurus. He's Ben's best friend!"

"Are you sure he's not your best friend?"

A fixed expression fell across Ross's face as he lifted his arms and banged them together, signaling his patented alternative to the middle finger.

The door closed and Chandler leaned back to look at Ben.

"You know what buddy; I am going to move you over to here." Chandler got up and moved Ben's stroller to the other side, pushing it towards the bathroom. "This way I can watch TV and still keep an eye on you." Chandler then sat back down quickly and brought his finger up to his lips. "Now shh! Show's starting again."

Chandler slowly put Ben back in his stroller, taking care not to wake him as he pushed down the seat so he could lay Ben flat on his back. With one eye he watched the baby as his eyes fluttered and he finally fell into a deep sleep. His other eye was glued to the television.

"I don't know what everyone is complaining about. You sleep all day! You wake up, you take a bottle, a diaper change, then you're out again. This is like Joey on a Sunday morning."

Chandler eased back into his chair as his eyes went wide. "Oh no Ben! What is Number Two up to now!"

Before he could answer himself on Ben's behalf, the door once again opened as if a raging bull charged through it. Chandler quickly spun around and raised his finger to his mouth. "Shh!"

Monica paused in her motion with a bemused look on her face. She then gestured incredulously at the television, offended at the idea that he might be shushing her so she would not interrupt his show.

She gathered herself, rediscovered her ire and pointed an impatient finger at Chandler. "Where's Joey!"

"I'm not sure. Let me check my journal." Chandler mimed opening a book and then arched one eyebrow as if he discovered something interesting on the invisible page.

"I don't have time for your little jokes! I need to talk to your roommate about that so-called interview he got me!"

Chandler eyed Monica and then sprang back in his seat. "Oh, you've got the face on."

"What? What face?"

He pointed at her as his eyes widened in horror. "That one! You're doing it right now!"

"I don't have a face."

"Oh yes you do my friend! That is the face you make when you are itching for a fight!"

"What?"

"Someone pissed you off, and now everyone around you is collateral damage!"

"Of course I'm pissed off. You would be too if you thought you were going for an interview at an Italian restaurant, but it was really for a topless buffet server at a strip club!" Monica reached into her pocket and yanked out a handful of one-dollar bills. "Look at this! People threw singles at me!" She crumpled them up and rolled them onto the coffee table.

"Oh, did he send you to Valentine's? Yeah. That's not a restaurant."

Monica's eyes widened incredulously. "I know that now!"

Chandler looked around the room nervously. "Will you keep it down!"

Monica pointed dismissively at the television. "Why? So you don't miss your show."

"No. Will you shush!"

"What are you watching anyway?"

Chandler looked back at the television in disbelief. "How do you not know The Prisoner?"

Monica screwed up her eyebrows. "What is it about?"

"What is it about?" Chandler glanced at the TV and rubbed his hands together. "What is it about?" He looked back and forth between Monica and show and then shrugged his shoulder. "I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"I don't think anyone knows."

"Then why are you watching it?"

Chandler looked at Monica with incredulous eyes, as if her question was ridiculous. "Because. It's a classic."

Monica shot him a healthy dose of suspicious side-eye, unconvinced he even liked the show.

"Anyway, that's not why you have to be quiet." Chandler grabbed her hand and walked her into the livingroom. He then pointed at Ben who was still sleeping in his stroller.

Monica knelt down and began to speak in an affected, cartoonish voice. "Oh, Benny-wenny. I didn't see you there?"

She then got up and looked at Chandler inquisitively. "What is he doing here?"

"Apparently, you were supposed to be home so you could babysit."

"What?"

"Ross said he arranged for you to watch him."

"That's tomorrow." Monica shook her head as she mentally added her brother to the list or people she needed to scold.

"He seemed pretty sure it was today."

"Well, it wasn't. I wrote it down. November eighth."

Chandler winced. "Today is the eighth."

"What? No it isn't."

Chandler grabbed the TV Guide and opened it up. "Look."

Monica peered over his shoulder and shuddered, she then turned and collapsed in his chair, completely defeated. "I'm a mess."

Chandler dove down and slid on his knees over to her. He grabbed her hand and eyed her sympathetically. "No. You're not a mess. You're just really stressed out. You haven't been able to find a job. You're interviewing all over the place without getting any rest. You're day stripping for extra cash. It's a lot."

Monica tried to hold in a smile and then shook her head. "I was not day stripping."

Chandler reached over and snatched the pile of singles she discarded on the coffee table. "Evidence seems to prove otherwise."

Ben started to stir and Monica sprang up. "Hey, how are you handsome boy? Auntie Monica is here to take care of you."

Chandler stood up and mocked feeling slighted at her apparent dismissal of his presence. "I guess Uncle Chandler is chopped liver now."

Monica turned and smirked. "Uncle Chandler?"

"Well, I thought about having him call me Doctor Chandler, but I don't know what field I want to practice in yet."

Monica chuckled and then leaned over to look at Ben. She scrunched up her nose and grimaced. She then spoke in a funny, sing-song voice. "Oh, I think someone needs to be changed. Let's go across the hall and we will take care of that stinky diaper."

"You can do that here. I've already changed him a few times."

Monica looked around the apartment with skepticism. "Here?"

Chandler rolled his eyes. "Yes here."

"Where?"

"On the couch."

Monica pointed at the couch with disdain. "This couch?"

"Yes this couch. What's wrong with our couch? It's a fine couch."

Monica tilted her head and cringed a bit. "Has Joey had sex on this couch?"

Chandler looked at the couch. Slowly, his prideful expression faded as it was overcome with horror and disgust. "Oh…eww. I've napped on this thing! We have to throw away this couch! We have to burn it."

"Come on, help me bring his stuff over. Have you had lunch yet?"

Chandler looked over his shoulder at the television, worried he might miss more of his show. "Did you pay your cable bill?"

"Do it again! Do it again!"

Chandler laughed at Monica's exuberance and then covered his face with his hands.

"Where's Benny!"

He leaned in close to Ben and then moved his hands, revealing his eyes and mouth open wide with exaggerated surprise.

"There he is!"

Ben smiled and let out a handful of laughs that sounded like they came from deep within his belly.

Monica giggled with delight. "Oh Benny-wenny you have the cutest laugh!"

Monica and Chandler shared a glance and a smile, both silently acknowledging how much fun they were having playing with Ben. She held the baby in her lap as she sat cross-legged on the floor. Chandler took a moment to stretch his own leg out and then pulled it back in to make room on the blanket for Ben to lay down between them.

Monica reached up to the coffee table, grabbed a handful of grapes from the serving tray and popped one in her mouth. "Oh, this is just what I needed. Some time with my boys."

Chandler smirked and then narrowed his eyes in amused intrigue. "Boys?"

Monica shot back a playful look and chuckled. "Yeah, like the two of you aren't both babies."

"I am not a baby."

"You complained about not having the TV on for fifteen minutes."

Chandler pouted as he folded his arms, still annoyed he was missing his show. "It's a classic!"

Before Monica could continue teasing him the door opened as Rachel walked in. "Hey, what are you guys doing?"

Monica looked at Chandler and smirked at the opportunity to make him uncomfortable with her answer. "We're playing house." She watched him as she could see him squirm and laughed.

Chandler, at first seemed nervous, but then caught on to what she was doing and shook his head. "We're not playing house."

Rachel dropped her purse on the kitchen table and walked over to the back of the couch. "Then what are you doing?"

"we're playing..." Chandler hesitated as he searched his mind for something to say. Something that would sound more masculine that a young girl's game of house. "...apartment."

Monica slowly opened the door to Chandler and Joey's apartment and smiled as she saw Chandler sitting on the other side of the counter. He looked up from his paper and his bowl of cereal and greeted her with a nod.

"Hey. I'm glad I caught you before you went to work." She unfurled her arms and deposited five VHS tapes onto the counter. "Here."

"I'm sorry but these are three days overdue. So you are going to have to pay late fees. No exceptions at Bing Video."

Monica shook her head as she tried to suppress a smile. "No silly. It's your show."

"What?"

"My Dad taped the marathon the other day and I had him bring them with him when they dropped off my stuff so you could borrow them and see what you missed."

Chandler nodded as he picked up a tape and studied it. "Oh yeah?"

Monica brought her hands up to cover a prideful smile. "Yeah. I figured I owed you for watching Ben the other day."

"Thanks. That's very thoughtful of you."

Monica turned to leave but then stopped herself. She spun around on her heels and took a deep breath, as if she was trying not to become nauseas.

"Just, if the screen goes dark and you start hearing moans, shut it off immediately. Trust me."

A/N - This is the first chapter in a little three-part mini-arc that will all take place in season two. There's a theme here somewhere, but even if you don't pick up on it, hopefully these three chapters will be entertaining enough on their own.