"There's nothing I know more than the fact that I want to be with you, Jess."
(Nick, 3x03 "Double Date")

"I realized something... I'd do anything for you, Jess."
(Nick, 3x05 "The Box")

THREE YEARS LATER

"Nick, are you absolutely insane?"

Nick looked in those big sparkling blue eyes that were gazing up at him in concern. He squeezed her hand and gave her a small smile.

"Hey, I'm the one who messed up," he said, "I have to obey the contract."

"The contract is bull. I'm not sleeping with Schmidt," Jess said firmly.

"Exactly why I'm doing this," Nick replied, "Someone has to pay the price. Only jerks or really good lawyers can get out of contracts… and I'm neither."

Jess smiled a little at that. "Well, I'm proud of you for keeping your word, but…" she looked up at the apartment complex in front of them, "I still think this is insane."

Nick only adjusted the bag on his shoulder in response. She was right. This was insane. And under normal circumstances, never in a million years would he ever even think of doing such a thing… but this was Jess.

Nick had been doing pretty good the last couple years at repressing his feelings, brushing them off as a simple crush that would eventually go away. But then the more he hung around her and got to know her, the more he began to realize that not only was this "crush" not going away, but it was developing further. Obviously, he still did his best to shove those feelings deep, deep down, but… in the end it could not be helped.

And now here they were— after three years of battling it out— finally an official couple. Nick had never been happier. He had to admit though, a slight damper was put on his mood when Schmidt approached him the previous evening…

"So, you and Jess are… a thing now?" Schmidt asked with some disapproval in his voice.

Nick ignored the tone. He already knew Schmidt was wary of the Loft's dynamic changing. "Yep," he replied simply.

"How's that going so far?"

"Great," Nick replied with a shrug, "It's only been a few days, but… it's great."

"Hmm," Schmidt said, pursing his lips.

Nick could immediately tell he was bursting to say something and most likely Nick did not want to hear whatever it was. Sighing heavily, Nick asked, "You got something to say, Schmidt?"

Schmidt immediately whipped out his phone and shoved it in Nick's face. "Need I remind you of the "No Nail Oath"?" he demanded.

Nick leaned away from the phone. "I haven't forgotten about the oath."

"Oh? Oh really?" Schmidt asked sarcastically, "So then I suppose you're now dating a different Jessica Day from the one referenced here?"

"No—"

"I know you guys have slept together! Do you not recall how terrible it was when you guys merely kissed? What I had to endure to set things right then?"

"Don't remind me."

Schmidt shook his head like a disappointed mother. "Nicholas Miller… the No Nail Oath states that if one sleeps with her, all must."

Nick rolled his eyes. "I really don't remember signing that part."

Schmidt crossed his arms. "Nevertheless, a contract is a contract. And while I'm so happy you have found love…"

"I know, I know," Nick said with a sigh, "Contracts are only broken by jerks or really good lawyers."

"And you are neither," Schmidt finished.

Nick glared at Schmidt. "I might become one if you try sleeping with Jess."

Schmidt scoffed. "Well what do you propose?"

Nick thought for a moment, thinking back over the last couple years and trying to remember the night they had drafted the No Nail Oath.

"Hold on," Nick finally said, "Didn't we originally come up with punishments for each other should we break the No Nail Oath?"

"Yes," Schmidt said, holding up his phone again, "Right here. "Should any of the undersigned break the no nail oath, they are subject to punishment as listed…""

"Wouldn't the contract be fulfilled if I went through with my punishment then?" Nick wondered.

Schmidt scanned the contract for a moment and then began to read again. ""…should one of the undersigned break this contract and then carry out their punishments, the No Nail Oath is fulfilled.""

"Okay, so—"

""…Provided that all undersigned have also nailed one Jessica Day as well"," Schmidt finished.

Nick groaned. "Oh come on!"

Schmidt put up his hands defensively. "Don't get mad at me. I didn't write this."

"You absolutely wrote this!"

Schmidt scoffed. "All that aside, what are you going to do about this contract?"

Nick crossed his arms defiantly. "Schmidty… I think it might be time for a compromise."

Schmidt looked at him curiously.

"I might not be a lawyer and definitely not a really good one," Nick said, "But I did learn about redrafting contracts at law school. Plus…" He scrunched up his face into one of his trademark frowns. "I am kind of a jerk."

Schmidt's eyes widened excitedly. "The ultimate weapon! A kind of jerk, sort of lawyer!" He straightened up as he held up his phone, ready to type. "Let's do this!"

Jess had held his hand all the way to the building. He had warned her not to come because she may not ever be able to look him in the face again, but she insisted she wanted to be there for "emotional support" whatever that meant. (How do you even support emotions?)

She also argued that she had to be there because it was partially her fault since she helped him break the "No Nail Oath." "It takes two to tango, Mr. Miller. And we tangoed good" had been her exact words.

However, once they arrived, he turned towards her and sighed. "Okay, Jess, I really appreciate you coming along, but you have to stay down here."

"What?" Jess said with a frown, "And let you go up there by yourself to face that—"

"I know, I know," Nick cut her off before she went off on a tirade, "But think about it. You might make it worse by being there."

Jess's frown hardened, but she didn't argue. She crossed her arms in a very Nick way. Nick couldn't help but smirk at it. "Oh come on, Jess," he said affectionately, "You can support me just as much down here as you would up there. I won't forget you're here thinking about me, I promise."

Jess softened and sighed. "Alright, fine," she said, "Go. I'll wait here."

Nick gave her a grateful smile and turned to enter the building. However, he was stopped by something grabbing his shirt and turning him back around. Before he could fully register what was happening, Jess was smashing her lips onto his and kissing him passionately… right in the middle of the sidewalk. Nick easily gave in and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer.

When they finally pulled apart, Nick was a little breathless. If nothing else, their kisses always blew him away. She rested her forehead against his and smiled. "Now I know you won't forget about me," she whispered.

Nick cleared his throat, trying to calm his racing heart. Every time they kissed, it was always as if they were doing it for the first time. Always so exciting, always intense. He would never tire of kissing her, he knew that much for certain.

"Right," was all he could manage through his foggy thoughts as he backed away from her, "I'll… see you in a bit."

"Good luck!" she called. And then she added in a sing-song voice, "Goood luuuuuccckkk, my sunshine!"

By the time Nick got off the elevator onto the fifth floor, he felt sufficiently level-headed once again and suddenly remembered the gravity of the situation. He rubbed his head and thought about Jess and the kiss. This is all for her.

He approached apartment 6. He certainly hoped this was the right spot because it would be even more humiliating if it were the wrong address… or maybe less? He tried not to think too hard about it and focused on getting it over with. He raised his fist to the door and knocked firmly. Please let this be the wrong address!

It wasn't. Much to his chagrin, but not really to his surprise, the door was opened by his ex-girlfriend Caroline. Her hair was longer than when he had last seen her and it was pulled back into a ponytail. She was only dressed in sweats and yet Nick still thought she looked stunningly attractive. He couldn't figure it. How did he end up dating such beautiful women when he was… well, him?

"Nick?" she asked in complete surprise. Obviously he was the last person she expected to show up at her door.

"Hi… Caroline." Nick shifted the bag on his shoulder. Just being here and looking at her was intensely uncomfortable. She had no idea what was coming. This was going to be terrible!

She furrowed her brow as she looked at him. "What are you doing here?"

Nick cleared his throat uneasily and took the bag off his shoulder. "I uhh… brought you something."

Caroline tilted her head in confusion. "You… brought me something?"

"Yeah, uh…"

Nick reached into the bag and pulled out the flowered cardigan. He had long since forgotten about it and stuffed it into the back of his closet. It took some time to locate it again for this punishment, but he managed.

"Oh," Caroline said in a neutral voice, "I sort of forgot about that. I've got a whole bunch like it. You didn't have to bring it back… after nearly four years."

Nick braced himself, barely hearing what she was saying. "I used to sleep with it under my pillow," he said quickly.

Caroline raised her eyebrows. "What?"

"Yeah," Nick said with a confirming nod, "And I would sometimes even put it on and cry myself to sleep."

"You... Nick, I—"

"Also, I would stare at it all day and write tragic love poems about it and you. In fact…" He reached into the bag and pulled out a stack of crumpled papers. Caroline watched in confusion and apprehension.

Nick cleared his throat uncomfortably. Any ounce of pride he might've still had was about to evaporate. He began to read:

"So soft and pink
Pink and soft
Do I speak of her?
Do I speak of… ink?

(I couldn't think of a good word to rhyme with pink that fit there)

This sweater is her
It smells so sweet
But now she's gone
So I can only eat.

Caroline stared at him, dumbfounded. Nick's stomach was churning. He hadn't looked at these poems in years. They were all written in a drunken stupor and as soon as they were written, he did his best to forget about them. He just shoved them into a box in the back of his closet. Now, rereading them, he realized that they were even worse than he remembered. Why didn't he destroy them?

He pulled out another one.

"Caroline, I miss you.
I miss you SO MUCH!"

That was it. Nick tried not to cringe as he pulled out another one.

"I'm still here and Caroline is not
Why Caroline? My love for you is all that I've got
I feel like a burning trashcan should be my mascot
So now I'll just sit here until I rot."

Nick didn't even look at Caroline as he pulled out the next one. He was determined to get through these as quickly as possible and, unfortunately, there were a lot. What was wrong with him? He knew he had been in bad shape after Caroline broke up with him, but these poems were proof he had sunk to a new level of pathetic.

"Caroline, you are the worst
How could you leave me, you dumb ho?

That's not fair.
I must be the dumb ho
Because you left me,
Obviously."

Nick groaned a bit at that one and began shuffling through the stack for another one.

"CAROLINE HOW COULD YOU!?
I WANT TO DIE!
Caroline, how could you?
I want to cry."

Nick sighed as he shuffled for another. However, Caroline suddenly reached out desperately and stopped him. "No, Nick! You don't have to read anymore," she said, her eyes wide with horror.

Relieved, Nick put down the next poem he had been about to read next. Caroline rubbed at her head in exasperation. "Look, I don't know what brought this on," she said, "And I don't know if this is your weird way of trying to get back with me or let me go or get revenge or what."

She reached out and placed her hands on his shoulders. "But you have to understand," she said firmly, looking him square in the face, "After last time, remember you ended things. I've had it with you! We are officially over! I set you free of…" She gestured to the things in his arms in disgust. "…whatever this is."

Relief washed over Nick. "Okay, Caroline," he said, looking down shamefully. He held out the bag of her things as though offering a sacrifice to the gods. "Will you at least take these away from me?"

Caroline rolled her eyes. "Fine," she said, "But you know I'm going to have to burn everything, right?"

"Absolutely," Nick replied.

Caroline groaned and snatched the bag from him. "Now will you leave, please?"

Nick nodded. "Thank you, Caroline. It was… good to see you."

Caroline softened a little at that. "You too. Even if this was really weird." She glared at him and pointed down the hall. "Now go!"

As soon as Nick stepped out of the building, he was immediately tackled by Jess, nearly knocking him off his feet.

"So, how did it go?" she asked, "What happened?"

Nick shrugged. "It was fine. She took the stuff. It could've been worse, I guess. At least she didn't hit me like I thought she might've."

Jess hugged him tightly around the neck. "Thank goodness! I'm so proud of you! I can't believe you actually did that."

Nick smiled at her. "Well, anything to keep you from having to sleep with Schmidt."

Jess shuddered and Nick squeezed her around the shoulders. "Let's just say you owe me," he said cheekily.

Jess raised her eyebrows at that, smiling. "Oh? Did you have any ideas of how I could pay you back?"

Nick shrugged. "I could probably think of something…" he said, waggling his eyebrows.

Jess grinned and slipped her hand into his. "Well, you get back to me on that," she said softly.

She kissed his cheek lightly and then immediately pushed off his chest and began skipping away. "Come on, Miller! We have to go tell everyone the good news! You're a free man!"

Nick smirked as he watched her run, arms flailing around her in excitement. She nearly collided with a stop sign and stumbled over her own feet. She straightened up and fixed her glasses. She then did a little twirl and then waved at him, gesturing for him to hurry up.

Nick smiled to himself, finally following after her. Yep, it had all been worth it.

"Should undersigned Nicholas Miller break the No Nail Oath and nail Jessica Day, he must then be punished by taking all of his ex-girlfriend Caroline's mementos (especially the flowered cardigan) and return them to her. He will then explain to her what he does with the mementos at night and then immediately follow up by reading her all the poems he has written about her. The punishment will only be complete when Caroline takes the mementos and poems from him."