I jerked awake with a pained gasp. My broken ribs were still aching like hell.

I walked out into the kitchen and noticed Mouse sitting at the counter, his head in his arms.

I can barely remember the night before, but the bits I do remember are foggy and involve a lot of whiskey.

I stumble to the coffee maker and pour myself a cup, laughing at Mouse as he groans from his spot at the counter.

"Hey, was that Erin last night?" Mouse mumbles after a few seconds.

I freeze, memories of last night before the drinking actually began flooding my mind. "Shit. Yeah, I think it was."

Mouse is the one who laughs this time, before walking away and muttering under his breath that I was 'so screwed.'

I sigh and pull a hoodie on, deciding to go for a run. Then I open the door and Erin is there. Again.

She holds out a cup of coffee and walks inside. "I thought I'd bring you coffee."

"Erin, I thought I made it clear last night. We're over. Nothing is going to happen here. I need you to leave."

"And I thought I made it clear last night that I was going to do whatever it takes to earn back your trust."

I groan at her stubbornness and brush past her, leaving for my run.

My mind wanders to what it was like before she left, and before everything happened with the army and Hailey.

Hailey. I cursed myself at what was happening. I didn't know why Erin insisted on coming back, especially now.

She has no right. She gave that up when she left. I find myself in front of Hailey's apartment building before I know it.

She buzzes me up, and I greet her with a long, passionate kiss when she opens the door. She smiles and leads me inside.

"This is a nice surprise," she says as she hands me a cup of coffee.

"Yeah."

I sit there silently, trying to think about what to say. "Hailey, I'm sorry. About everything going on with Erin. I know it's not fair to you."

"Jay, it's okay. I know it's not your fault she showed up. Just take as much time as you need to work through this."

I smile at her. "Thanks, Hails."

CPDCPDCPDCPDCPDCPDCPDCPDCPDCPDCPDCPDCPDCPDCPDCPDCPDCPDCPD

You've got to be kidding me. She was still here.

I shoved past her to my bedroom, where she followed me, and I ignored her as I entered the bathroom and slammed the door in her face.

When I walked out of the shower, she was still sitting there waiting for me on the bed.

"Jay, please. Just give me a chance."

"Erin, please leave. I need you to go. Just stop. There is nothing here. We are over. Whatever used to be there between us, it's gone. I love Hailey and that's not going to change just because you came back. If it is too difficult for you to continue to work in Intelligence, then you can go back to New York. But I don't want anything to do with you anymore."

She looks down, and when she finally meets my eyes again, the pain in them kills me. "Bye, Jay."

At that, she walks out the door without looking back. I sigh in relief and sit on the bed, a smile making its way onto my face.

I immediately pull out my phone and call Hailey, my smile growing just at the sound of her voice.

"Hey Jay, you coming in to the district today?" She asks.

"Yeah, I was thinking about it, you aren't working a case or anything are you?"

"No, everyone's been asking how you're doing, you should come catch everybody up."

I nod and she hangs up, leaving me to get ready.

I finish getting dressed and climb into my truck, wincing as a flashback hits me.

I fumble through the center console and find a bottle of vicodin, swallowing several pills before I realize what I'm doing.

The headache stops and I groan, having agitated my ribs. I start the truck and drive towards the district, recklessly swerving through the traffic.

I see sirens in my rearview mirror and curse, pulling to the side. The cop comes up beside me and I flash my badge, praying he'll let me off the hook.

He sighs and nods, letting me pass and I let out a breath of fresh air. I wait until he passes before I pull off the side, continuing to the district.

Once I get there, I look in the mirror and wince at my appearance, wiping my eyes in vain to try and get rid of the red rims.

Adam meets me out back and walks inside with me, asking how I am, and I answer that I'm fine, as usual, and one glance tells me he doesn't believe me, but I don't say more and he doesn't press.

He watches me the entire way, taking in my red eyes and shaking hands.

Hailey smiles the second she sees me and runs into my arms, immediately connecting her lips with mine.

I smile against her lips and carry her back to the bullpen. I wave to everyone before heading into Voight's office with Hailey.

My smile falls slightly at the sight of Erin sitting in one of the chairs, but I walk over to Hank and hug him again, laughing as he looks me over again.

"Hank, I'm fine."

"Yeah, I'm just making sure. Trouble sleeping?" He asks, pointing out my bloodshot eyes.

"Um, yeah, it's always rough the first few nights back," I say, looking down and running a hand through my long hair and beard, realizing how long it's been since I'd shaved.

Hailey eyes me worriedly and I smile back at her, trying to reassure her that I was fine. I hated putting my PTSD issues on her, as much as she wanted to be there for me.

I slumped down into one of the chairs in Hank's office just as the phone started ringing.

Hank answered, rolling his eyes at the voice on the other side of the phone.

Once he hung up, he apologized and walked into the bullpen. "We've got a case everyone, let's head out."

Hailey and Erin made their way out and I followed, meeting Hank outside the door. "You want to come? We could an extra set of eyes."

I thought about it for a moment, ready to say no and just refuse outright, but I found myself nodding and following him to his car, surprised when we stopped in front of my truck and I saw him hold out his hand for the keys.

He eyes me when I hesitate, knowing I'm high and I groan but hand over the keys, very reluctantly climbing into the passenger seat.

The drive isn't long, but by the time we get there I am completely out of it and about to fall asleep.

Hank nudges me and helps me get out, giving me a moment to collect myself before dragging me out, leading me over to where the new body was.

I freeze upon reaching the scene, seeing blood covering the pavement for at least a yard before seeing the actual body.

Voight looks back, having continued walking. "Hey, Halstead. Come on."

I nod and keep walking, keeping the fact that I knew the victim to myself until we returned to the bullpen.

We worked the scene, and for just a few minutes it seemed like maybe things could go back to normal, but I wasn't naïve enough to actually believe it.

A few strands of DNA and some fingerprints were found, but further investigation yielded nothing, so I finally spoke up back at thee district.

"What if I run them through my database?"

Everyone looked at me in confusion. "Jay? What are you talking about?"

"I have the military clearance. Why don't I run them through the military database, see if anything hits."

Voight joined in, questioning me further. "Jay, if nothing hit on our end, nothing would hit on yours. You know that."

"No, not necessarily. Not everything in ours is shared to yours, mostly for security reasons."

"Jay—"

"I know him."

Silence filled the bullpen, and nobody bothered asking what he meant.

"The victim. I knew him. And I think if we run it through the military database we'll get a hit, because it was most likely someone from his army days that killed him."

Voight took a moment. "Okay. Run it."

He motioned for me to follow him to his office first, and Hailey followed, along with Erin.

"Jay, who was he?"

"Colin Hollingsworth. He was on the team with me and Mouse back in the day. We served two tours together."