Chapter 4

As slithers of morning light shone through the curtains, Lucy was awoken, prising one eye half open against the light. She lay for a moment confused by sleep at her unfamiliar surroundings, but as the haze cleared memories of the last 24 hours came flooding into her mind and the huge grin reappeared on her face. She untangled her left hand from the covers and looked at the ring that sat there. 'It was true, it hadn't been a dream'.

She turned to her right and her heart exploded. There he was. Jack was sleeping peacefully next to her, his sandy hair flopping over his face, his chest rising and falling lightly. She marvelled at his irresistible face basking in the morning sun, still unable to believe that he was hers, her fiancé'. After everything that had happened he had forgiven her and she couldnt help thinking that made her the luckiest girl in the world.

Unable to help herself, she reached forward and brushed the soft hair away from his eyes, her finger tips caressing his smooth forehead causing tingles in her stomach.

At her touch his eyelids fluttered, causing him to stir awake. He slowly opened his eyes and smiled sleepily at her. He looked adorable in his morning stupor and the urge to close the gap between them became too much so she slid over slightly so that she was completely pressed against his warm body.

She pressed her lips lightly against his, tangling her fingers into his hair. He wound his arms around her waist and pulled her closer still, she could feel every inch of his body against hers. Images of the previous night flowed through her mind and the butterflies returned to her stomach.

"Good morning" He whispered, smiling as he buried his face in her hair.

"Good morning" she breathed in his ear, entwinning her legs through his.

He rolled her onto her back and crushed his lips onto hers, with all the urgency of the night before. The effect his touch had on her body was mind blowing and they made love slowly and intensely in the rays of the January's morning sun.

An hour later Lucy and Jack lay in each other's arms, twisted in bedsheets. She wondered to herself if life really could get any better than this.

Then breaking the peace, the phone rang from his bedside cabinet. Lucy looked at her watched it was 10.30am. Leaning over he reached for the phone and lifted it to speak,

"Morning Mom" He said into the reciever,

Lucy smiled to herself and snuggled closer into his chest, his free arm drapped round her shoulders.

"Yeah I know, she is here" He continued, looking at Lucy with a triumphant grin on his face.

"No Mom, we thought we would spend the day together today" He looked over again and rolled his eyes.

Lucy giggled, turned and flung her arm over his chest,

"I don't know, I'll ask her!"

Looking utterly put out he turned to Lucy, "Mom wants us to come round to the house for a family meal tonight, is that OK?"

"Oh yeah sure" she said, suddenly feeling nervous, but trying to cover it the best she could.

"OK , we will see you tonight,...yeah at 7pm,...OK see you later,...love you too Mom." Jack quickly put the phone down and turned to Lucy,

"I'm sorry!" He said as he kissed her on top of the head, "You know what my Mom's like and she is desperate to see you. She called your apartment first before she called here, I think she knows you stayed over" He looked slightly embarrassed at this. "She probably thought if she asked you first you wouldn't say no!"

"It's fine, it will be nice to see them, though after everything I suppose I'm just a bit nervous." She looked at her hands as she admitted the truth.

"Hey look" he lift her chin so she was looking at him, "they were upset, but that's because they love you, but I had a long chat with Mom and Pop, and Peter for that matter and they have forgiven you."

"I'm just so embarrassed by the whole thing, I don't even really know how it happened and now I have to face them" her eyes welling with tears as she spoke. "Were they really angry that day after I left the Chapel?"

Jack let out a short laugh but his face didn't look as if anything was funny, staring out the window before he turned to speak. "It was a complete mess, yeah they were angry but I'm not really sure who it was most aimed at. You for making them believe you were Peter's fiancée, Peter for having an affair with a married woman and then proposing to her or me because they thought I'd tried to steal you away from Peter. Oh and Saul for saying he knew the truth all along."

"Oh my God! Saul told them!" Her hand flew to her mouth.

"Yeah, but it's OK, they made up when Saul explained that he knew you were a good person and he was trying to engineer Peter into actually ending up with someone decent and that you were a dam sight better than his married floozy."

"Wow Saul said that?" Though she was shocked, she could imagine the old man saying it.

"Yeah, Pretty much and you know adultery to Catholic's is big deal!" Putting strong emphasis on the 'big'. He continued. "Ashley and Mike (her husband) were screaming at Peter. Me, Pop and Saul was trying to get them away from him. Mom was crying, Mary was crying and my Grandma, well she has photographic evidence of the whole thing, I'm sure she will show you if you ask her!" He shook his head smiling. "Anyway, the nurse called security and the got Ashley and Mike escorted out. The nurse took Peter back to his room, Mom and Pop went with them to check he was OK and we all went home."

"And was Peter OK?" She had often wondered how he was, she probably should have asked before.

"He was fine, cool as anything as always, thats why he makes such a good lawyer, he can talk his way out of anything, had my parents eating out of the palm of his hand by the time they left." He said in a slightly bitter tone.

"So what happened when you got home?" She wasn't really sure she wanted to know, but they had started the conversation she may as well get it over with.

"Do you really want to do this now?" He had a kind but earnest look on his face. "And I for one would really like to try and put it all behind me." Pain seemed to flicker across his face for a second as he turned and looked out at the sun peeping through the window again.

"Jack..." She gently moved so she could cup his cheek and bring it round to face her. "I love you more than anyone on this earth and nothing you can say will change that," tears of emotion prickled the corners of her eyes as she spoke, planting a soft kiss on his lips. "But we/I can't just brush it under the carpet and pretend it never happened..."

He looked at her intensely then offered a small smile. "Mom just sobbed for hours, she was really upset with you, I think she was hurt more than anything. Though I'm not sure what was worse the lie, the fact she loved you and thought she had lost you or the fact that she was worried that you were alone, her brain just seemed to change tack every 10 seconds." He rubbed his forehead at the memory. "I don't think Pop knew what to do, he's not good at feelings and stuff and just kept mumbling random stuff under his breath."

"I couldn't stand it in the end, I made sure they were OK and then I had to get out, I thought my brain was going to explode" He chuckled. "You had just announced that you loved me, at your wedding to my brother!!!" He gave her a side glance and a very rougish smile.

Now it was her turn to hold her head in shame.

He hugged her to him and continued, "Mom and Pop just kept going on and on at me, that I must have done something, had I tried to seduce you? Did I love you too? It was too much. So I walked out... because of course I did love you, I loved you from pretty much the moment I met you." He looked down at her and stoked her hair, the look in his eyes so intense that Lucy felt a huge wave of love for this man engulf her and it left her breathless.

"I felt so guilty. I hadn't seduced you but I wanted to. I had wanted to steal my brothers Fiancée."

The look of anguish on his face caused her physical pain. She covered his hand with hers and squeezed it, "I'm to blame, I should have just told you the truth," she said as she stared at their hands. "I realised that I had feelings for you after we walked home from Peter's apartment that night, but then it went from not only losing this wonderful family but you too, I was so confused and Saul just kept telling me to keep my mouth shut and that he would handle it." She leaned her head back against his chest and closed her eyes. The mear memory of the situation causing her heart to pound.

He stoked her cheek and her eyes opened and fixed on his, he bent down and lightly brushed her lips with his, the gesture giving her strength to continue. "Then when Peter proposed, I was completely caught off guard, I panicked, I didnt want to marry him, I knew that I loved you but it was getting bigger and bigger, I was completely out of my depth and then you said that you..." She trailed off, unable to finish the sentence.

"That I couldn't give you any reason not to marry my brother?" He offered as he looked deeply into her eyes.

She nodded, a tear spilt over and ran down her cheek. He brushed it away with his thumb, caressing her soft skin.

"I want you to know that was the hardest thing I've ever done" He whispered into her hair, holding her close, "I loved you so much but I couldn't take my brother's girl, no matter how much I wanted to."

She nodded. Of course she knew why he had to do it, but the memory of the pain caused by those words still stung her throat. "I have to admit I was crushed, but I do understand " she murmured as her tears began to roll again. "And so I stupidly tried to convince myself that even if I couldnt have you, I could still be part of your family, life would still be better."

"So what changed? What made you speak out?" He asked, "not that I'm complaining," giving her a smile.

"You!" and she turned her face to kiss his chest lingering a while, breathing him in. "I walked down the aisle completely captivated by the man I loved, unfortunately it wasn't him that I was marrying and I couldn't do it. As much as I longed to be part of your family, I would rather be alone than married to the wrong man."

"I've never been so relieved in my life, when you objected, I think that's why I objected too" He chortled, "though I must admit when the rest of the story came out, I wasn't quite so smug" raising his eyebrows at her, she recoiled internally.

"I thought I'd lost you forever, I didnt think for a second that you would ever forgive me." She said sadly.

"I didnt really know if I could at first, I was a complete mess!" He admitted sheepishly. "To be honest it was Mary that made me realise that maybe I could see past what happened."

"Really, Mary?" Lucy knew that Jack and his sister were close but she was still surprised.

" Yeah, I came home that night, and tried to drown my sorrows in whiskey, but she was on my door step first thing in the morning. She said, 'I know you love her, it's written all over you face.' I told her, 'I wish it was that simple' and she put her arms round me and said 'it is you idiot! You love her and she loves you, plus she is too nice for Peter!' I think you have a little fan!" He gave her a big one armed squeeze and ruffled her hair, in the same way she had seen him do to Mary.

"Hey get off!" She giggled thumping his chest, but secretly she was pleased that he had broken the tension. Mary really was a treasure though, she must remember to treat her to something nice when they next go shopping together.

"Anyway, by the time she had eaten all the ice cream out my freezer (yes it was 09.30 in the morning) she had made me promise to think hard about it and to come over that evening to talk to mom and Pop about it." The adorable smile on his face as he talked about his sweet little sister made her heart melt.

"You are so lucky to have this kind of relationship with your siblings and she is such a wonder girl!" Lucy really couldnt wait to have Mary has a sister too. "So did you go and see your parents?"

"I had no choice, Mary would have killed me if I didn't!" He laughed and earnt himself another thump in the chest. "No seriously, I know we havent known each other long but I love you so much, so I suppose Mary was right, it was simple, I could except what had happened and be happy or I could walk away and lose this," He indicated to them together. "I had to try, so I went to speak to mom and Pop that evening."

"How did it go, was it really bad?" She winced as she asked the question.

"Surprisingly it was OK, well as OK as it could be given the situation" He shrugged. "Mom had calmed down alot, thank goodness and Pop well he just looked really awkward! Mom asked if I'd heard from you, but obviously I hadnt and she started crying again. She looked really worried, I think she was torn between staying upset and calling you to check you were ok."

"I love Midge so much, she is amazing! I dont deserve it." Lucy welled up again, she missed Jack's mom so much, it felt like such a long time since she had spoken to her properly.

"Well she thinks you do and as you know she is always right!" He chuckled as he continued, "she sat me down and she actually apologised for accusing me of trying to steal Peter's fiancée, she said that she knew I wouldnt do something like that and she was just upset. I told her I loved Peter and I would never do anything to hurt him.

Then she just hit me with it, 'but you do love her, don't you?' She really took me by surprise.

Pop then chipped in, 'Look, we know the whole engagement thing definitely wasn't the smartest idea in the world, she should have told us the truth, but we really like her and I guess we understand why she did it.'

They both went on to tell me that they would support any decision I made about you but they would gladly take you back into the family if that was what I wanted. So I told them the truth, that I love you, I had fallen for you on the first day we met and that I'd been in absolute agony ever since.

At first thinking you were wholly unobtainable and then because I didn't know if I could trust you after what happened." He looked over at her, he had a sad sort of frown on his face and Lucy knew it was his last few words that had caused it. It was more than a fair comment but to hear it from his lips cut like a knife.

She held him tight, for a second she didn't know what else to say that didn't sound completely feeble, but she had to speak, the silence in the moment felt deafening.

"I'm so sorry, I know I can say that til I'm blue in the face, but it's true. I'm not a bad person, I'm really not and I know its pathetic but I was just a lonely girl who got swept into the middle of this huge lie. But you have no idea what it's like to be alone, to spend Christmas at work because your the only one without anyone to celebrate with. To not recieve presents on your birthday because you have nobody to send one. I don't go on vacation because as much as I really want to go I'm petrified of going alone. I have a few friends, but I moved to chicargo three years ago and for the first two I spent every waking hour that I wasnt at work caring for my dad. I wasn't out socialising making new friends and when he died the pain and loneliness was so acute I'm not sure how I made if from one day to the next. Then this bizarre thing happens to me and suddenly this beautiful family want me around and it was like a lifeline. I tried to cut it I really did but I was so scared of my solitude I chickened out each time, I know that's no excuse its just what happened! She drew deep breath after her speech, tears coming thick and fast down her face. She pressed the heals of her hands into her eyes to try and stem the flow, but it was no good her chest heaved and she was sobbing uncontrollably. Knowing that he hadn't trusted her and deep down might still not, just felt completely overwhelming.

"Lucy, hey Lucy come on, I know, I promise I know" He whispered as he held her in a tight embrace. "And my parents know, Mary knows and Saul well he definitely knows! It was his idea that they all went with me when I proposed to you so that you would see that they were all happy and supported us!" He stoked her soft hair as he continued to hold her to him. "But it was my Grandma that really made me realise though. She told me that lonliness was a terrible thing and the fact that you were prepared to sacrifice a family because you loved me, well she said you must really love me! Then she gave me a small red velvet box, I opened it and inside was her engagement ring that my grandpa had given her. She said she wanted me to have it and when I was ready she would be honored if I used it to propose to you." He grinned at her and she managed a teary smile back as she gazed at the ring, which was even more precious now that she knew it was Elsie's.

Then his face turned slightly more serious as he added, "I was hurt, really hurt, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't, but you have to believe me, I understand why you did it and now all I want to do is make sure you are never alone again, ever!"

Her sobs subsided and she started to calm engulfed in his arms. She did believe him but the pain of knowing how much she had hurt him lingered round the edges of her chest.

"I promise I will never do anything to hurt you like that ever again." Her voice sounded cracked and broken ask she spoke.

He looked down and smiled at her "that's a deal."

"What about Peter?" She felt bad that he was an after thought, "You said you spoke to him, what did he say?"

Jack smiled to himself and entwined his hand in hers, "I went to talk to him the next day. I told him that I was in love with you but I wouldnt do anything to damage my relationship with him and if he wasn't happy I wouldn't take it any further." He looked at her sincerely and she knew it was the truth. Jack knew the meaning of family and even though she had once accused him of not being an expert when it came to his family, deep down she knew that was unfair. He would do anything to make is family happy, even if it meant sacrificing his own happiness.

"I guess as I'm here he was OK with it?" She questioned when he didn't continue straight way.

"He said that he would have married you, but he didn't really know why and that wasn't really a good enough reason in the cold light of day. He told me he really likes you, but he also thinks that maybe you are a little crazy to go through with such a lie for so long, but that by the sounds of it you were in a pretty bad place to let yourself get so swept away. He also said that he knows how pushy the family can be and they probably didn't give you a word in edgewise until it was too late. He said that he wasn't in love with you, if that's what I'd been worried about and I should do whatever made me happy."

"That was very gracious of him, he has every right to be really angry" she said feeling genuinely indebted to Peter at that moment.

"No he's not angry, he has bigger problems to deal with sorting out his predicament with Ashley!" Jack chuckled as he continued.

"I think you may have bruised his ego a bit, girls don't normally dump Peter you see, it's usually the other way round. And to be thrown over for your little brother well that's just a kick in the teeth! But don't worry about that he had scores of women throwing themselves at him, just waiting for him to break their heart."

"That's mean, he said he wants to turn over a new leaf, maybe he will change. I hope he does and finds a nice girl." Slight pangs of guilt edging her words.

"I hope so too, but unfortunately Peter always tends to be attracted to the 'Ashley's' of this world, and I think it might take more than a knock on the head to change that." He looked at her and gave her a wicked grin, "and as previously discussed fact is your not really Peter's type..." He looked at her with a mock serious face.

She played along, "yeah Jack, alright, who's type am I?" She exclaimed using the same words from their conversation a week ago.

"Mine, definitely, definitely mine" He murmured as his lips gently brushed hers. "That's the answer I wanted to give you when you asked outside your apartment that night. The words were literally on the tip of my tongue, but I couldn't tell you." He whispered, an edge of sadness to his voice.

"I know now and that's what is important, it's just me and you." She returned, caressing his face.

Still speaking in hushed tones, he smiled "Well, that's not quite true, I've only got you to myself until 7pm, what do you say to going out for a nice lunch, our first proper date out?"

"Sounds amazing" she giggled.

"Good, but I think I need to help you work up an appetite first!" He grabbed her round the waist and pulled her down the bed, flipping the covers over both their heads. Delighted giggles took over and for the moment all thought of food and family were forgotten.