Chapter 6

The next weekend started a frenzy of activity. Midge and Mary arrived early on Saturday morning to help with packing.

As much as she appreciated the help Lucy would have much preferred a lazy morning in bed with Jack, especially as he had been so busy with work this week and it wasn't set to improve the coming week either. She dragged herself out of bed and as she dressed she kept reminding herself that once they were living together, every night and every morning would be their's, this indeed induced a good level of motivation.

Ox brought round the packing boxes and bubble wrap, then he and Jack left to run some business errands while the ladies set to work. Midge and Mary started in the lounge boxing up books and wrapping picture frames and ornaments carefully.

Lucy decided to task herself with the bedrooms, she couldnt believe how much stuff she had accumulated in her small apartment in what felt like a relatively short space of time. When she and her dad had moved from Indiana to Chicargo they had been pretty ruthless is clearing out the old house and only taking with them what they needed or things of particular sentimental value. It had been hard at the time to let go of so many childhood memories but she had known that it was necessary so her dad could get the best possible treatment, but now the thought of going through her dad's belongs was more painful than Lucy could have ever imagined.

Jack had told her that she could bring whatever she wanted to the house, there was plenty of room and she could store anything else in the attic, she need not get rid of anything she would regret later. It was so good of him and she appreciated it so much but this was a new chapter in her life and she knew what she needed to do but it was so hard.

She was embarrassed to admit that she still had suitcases full of her dads clothing stuffed in the back of the closet. She wouldnt take it all with her and as much as the thought of going through it made her stomach twist into knots Lucy knew she must before she gave up the apartment.

She opened the closet and sat on the bed staring at the luggage that lay within. She could remember the day so clearly that she had packed up all of her Dad's belongings, the memory burnt a searing hole in her chest. It had been two days after the funeral, she had done a pile of laundry and found several items of his clothes mixed into the load. Lucy remembered walking into his room to put them in his draws when the realisation had hit her, he wasn't coming back and she was alone. Alone in the apartment and alone in the world

She hadn't cried or screamed that day, it was as if the utter grief had sent her into some trance like state. All she knew in that moment was she had to remove the evidence, she couldnt keep walking into this room as if everything was OK or keep it as a shrine.

So she had acted, she pulled out the battered old suitcases they had used when they moved and quickly unzipped them. The smell inside when she flung them open was a trace of mothballs and him, their family home together in Indiana. Not this strange apartment in this strange city that had promised them so much and given them so much hope but ultimately failed!

She pulled open draw after draw, scooping the contents out and throwing it in the suitcases. Then she moved to the closet and pulled shirts and jumpers and jackets off hangers and did the same. Lucy piled shoes and bags, anything she could lay her hands on and tucked them out of sight hoping desperately that her actions would ease the pain.

She had known that she was acting crazy but she couldn't help it and she worked until the room was almost clear, as the bulging suitcases lay infront of her.

When she had finished, she used her weight to help ease the straining zips closed on each case and heaved them into the closet and slammed the door shut.

Lucy remembered standing in the middle of the room, feeling the emptiness of the space echoing through her whole body. She hsd looked over at the closed door of the closet that now held the contents of her dad's bedroom. She had thought that her actions would give her some sort of release from the pain but now it felt like the cupboard door was screaming at her, a focus point for her grief, she had to get out.

She left the room and firmly closed the door behind her. Walking across the lounge she had scanned the room and consciousness punched her awake. His globe, his clock, his books, his glasses, his pictures they were everywhere. She could try and lock her grief in a closet but it wouldn't be contained because he was everywhere in every corner of her life.

Her eyes wandered toward the front door and there hanging as always was his grey trench coat.

He had loved that coat and worn it for as long as she could remember. It was old and slightly worn in places, she had tried over the years to convince him to buy a new one but to no avail. Her mother has brought him that coat a few weeks after they had married and to him wearing it was to remain close to his lost love.

Lucy had walked over to the place it hung and ran her fingers over the material, it was over 30 years old but to look at it in that moment it was perfect, it was him and she finally understood why her dad had insisted on wearing it. She removed it from its resting place and slipped her arms through the sleeves in turn. It was big and it was too long on her slim frame but she pulled the belt round and tied it close to her body. She stood for a moment engulfed in fabric and emotion, tears starting to well in her eyes. She had tried for so long to be strong, for him and for herself but suddenly a crack had appeared in her resolve and she had allowed the tears to flow, tears that had been pushed down for months, years if she was honest with herself. Grief crashing over her in wave after wave, smothering all of her other senses...

Lucy jumped out of her reminiscences as she heard the door of the bedroom open. Her hand flew to her face as she realised that tears had began to fall unconsciously. She looked up to see Midge popping her head round the door.

"Mary is going to the store I just wondered if you...oh honey are you alright?" Midges enquiring face turned to a look of concern as she saw Lucy so obviously upset.

She came through the door and closed it behind her. She sat on the bed next to Lucy and put her arm round her future daughter in law.

"I'm sorry," was all Lucy could get out as she continued to stare at the closet before squeezing her eyes closed to try and stem the flow of tears.

"You have nothing to be sorry about sweetheart" Midge whispered as she pulled Lucy closer and kissed her lightly on the forehead.

"I need to sort out his things, I can't take them all with me but I just don't know where to start!" Lucy murmured, her voice strained under a blanket of grief.

"It's OK, it's ok" Midge soothed as she stroked Lucy's hair. "I can help you if you would like, or I can get Ox and Jack to take it all to the house and you can get to it when your ready, it's up to you."

Lucy raised her head and looked at Midge's kind face. She hadn't had anyone speak to her like this since before her dad had died. Having someone who just wanted to take the weight off her shoulders, a parental figure who would love and support her was something Lucy just wasn't used to.

"Really, you will help me?" Lucy stuttered out, tears starting to fall again.

"Oh honey of course I will" Midge pulled Lucy into a tight hug, "You don't even have to ask" she whispered in her ear.

Lucy hugged Midge back, putting as much unspoken feeling and gratitude into it as she could.

After a moment Midge pulled back and looked warmly into Lucy's tear stained face, "remember you are a Callaghan now" she said seriously, wiping a tear from Lucy's cheek.

Lucy felt a warm glow start to numb the pain in her chest. She knew she wasn't officially a Callaghan yet but Midge thought she was close enough and that was a wonderful feeling. She was part of their family and she had Jack too, she really didn't deserve for things to have turned out so perfectly. She would do everything in her power to earn this privileged position.

"Thank you, you really have no idea how much that means to me," Lucy said earnestly. "I haven't had anyone to lean on in such a long time. Even before my dad died, it was just me and him and when he got sick I had to be strong for both of us and when we moved here it just got worse." She drew a breath and continued, "I was 17 years old when he was diagnosed and to be honest it was OK to begin with, I was able to finish school and he was able to keep working. He would have his treatment I could still do normal stuff and he went into remission for about 5 years. Then when I was 24 the doctors told him that the cancer was back but it was more aggressive this time. I had to drop out of my final year at college, which I had already started late because we couldnt afford medical fees and college. I had to get a job because the treatment the second time round made him so ill that he couldn't work. It was a really difficult time, to have my dad so sick and to lose all my hard work but he was my dad and I would have done anything for him. We struggled on for another 3 years but he was slowly deteriorating, thats when the doctors in Indiana recommended we move to Chicargo as there was research treatment that was going to be his best chance. So we did it, I got a job at the CTA and we moved in here. Dad spent alot of time backwards and forwarding to the hospital and I worked as much as I could to support us. It wasn't easy, we didn't know anyone here, we just had each other. As time went on Dad would start spending longer and longer spells in hospital and I would divide my time between work and visiting him, but he was getting sicker and sicker, nothing seemed to work. Then a week after my 30th birthday he passed away and I was broken and alone..." Lucy tried to hold back the tears, sucking a breath in to try and keep them under control.

Midge hugged her to her with one arm and planted a kiss on her head. "What a terrible thing to have to go through on your own. Don't you have any other family?"

Lucy shook her head, "My mum died in a car accident when I was a baby, she was 24 years old. A drunk idiot got behind the wheel and smashed into her car on the way back from the grocery store. She and my dad had been high school sweethearts, she was the absolute love of his life, they had only been married 2 years. After her death my dad became very detached from people and protected me so forcibly that looking back he wouldn't let anybody else in. We moved away from the town where I was born in Oregon, where their friends and family were because my dad couldn't stand to spend his life driving up and down the road that my mother was killed on. He got a transfer at work and we went to Indiana, that was where I spent my childhood. He was a fantastic dad and he was completely devoted to me but I guess it would have been nice to have grandparents around growing up and it was lonely at times."

She had never really spoken to anyone about this before and it felt strange to actually say it out loud to another person. She had spoken briefly to Jack about things, but in no great detail. It wasn't that she didn't want to talk to him it was just that they hadn't got round to it yet, they'd had so much to discuss in the short space of time they had been together. She had also told bits to Celeste and Jerry over the years but never the whole story, it just felt too personal. She had grown up learning from her dad to be guarded when it came to talking about her family with other people, that was what she was used to, but it also meant that she never had anyone other than her dad to trust, until now.

"You must have felt so alone." Midge turned away looking at the mass of things in the open closet. "I understand more why you were so desperate to be part of our family." Her voice sounding faraway as she spoke.

"Midge I'm so sorry about all that, you will never know how sorry I am." Lucy grabbed Midges hand, a pleading look in her eyes.

"I never meant to hurt you, any of you, I should have spoken up straight away, but you were crying and hugging me and then Elsie with her heart, it just didn't seem like the right moment, God not that I'm blaming you!" Lucy looked sheepish for a moment and looked away.

"By the sounds of it Saul didnt help, he told us that you wanted to come clean a number of times, but that he was trying to match make you with Peter." Midge laughed shaking her head. "I could have rung his neck!" But there was no real animosity in her voice when she spoke. "But will you answer one question?," Midge suddenly looked serious.

Lucy turned to face the older women, this woman who had become so dear to her,

"Anything..." She murmured.

"Did you ever have feelings for Peter? I'm so confused! I mean you were going to marry him, yet you said you had never met him before the accident. I know you had been through a rough time but that's a big commitment just so you could be part of our family."

Lucy bowed her head and gazed at their joined hands. "I thought I did..." She said solemnly.

Midge still looked confused so she continued. "When I worked in my booth I would see Peter every day. He never noticed me, as we since found out in the hospital, but I saw him. He was the most handsome guy I'd ever seen. He was well dressed, had an amazing smile and he always gave his seat up on the train. To me he seemed like the perfect man. I would fantasise that one day I would introduce myself and he would fall in love with me as I had with him and we would get married and live happily ever after." Lucy felt so uncomfortable admitting this to Midge but she had promised herself that she would do whatever it look to earn a place in the family and if that included pouring out her heart, so be it.

"So when he got pushed on the tracks I had to do anything I could to save him, it was just instinct."

Midge gave her an adoring smile, "I'll never be able to thank you enough for being so brave" a tear ran down her face but she knocked it away with the back of her hand.

Lucy gave her a shy smile and chuckled, "I still can't believe it did it if I'm honest, but it was the best thing I ever did, not only did I save a life but it brought me to you." Tears began to fall again down Lucy's face as the emotion produced by this truth washed over her. "Your family were the kindest, most wonderful people I'd ever met. The way you were so open and loving was something that filled me with awe, I'd never had a real family like that but even I could see that yours was more special than most."

"That's very kind of you to say" Midge smiled.

"Then I met Jack..." Lucy rested her hand on the side of her face, the beam that spread across her lips was undeniable.

Midge grinned at her, pride written all over her face when she thought of her youngest son. "You liked him?" She enquired, though of course she knew the answer.

Lucy's smile spread even further if that was even possible. "Yeah I liked him..." She laughed out. "We went to Peter's apartment together that first night and we had to walk back because the truck got parked in. We talked and laughed and I don't know..." She squeezed her eyes shut continuing to beam. "All I knew was that it was no fantasy about a guy I'd never ever spoken to, it was nothing like I'd ever felt before."

"Jack told me that he fell for you almost the moment he met you, it must have been an amazing connection." Midge said squeezed her hand.

"Over the next few days it just grew stronger, your son is literally the most gorgeous, kind, funny, amazing man I've ever met. I fell so hard and so fast, I never thought something like this would ever happen to me. Though I can assure you that nothing ever happened between us. But the whole thing just made the truth harder, I didnt know what to do, then Peter woke up and it got ever harder still. I promise I wanted to tell you but I would lose you and Jack would hate me and I was so scared." The memory leaving anguish on Lucy's face.

"It must have been a horrible situation," Midge consoled.

"I couldn't see anyway out and Saul...Well he kept telling me he would handle it" Lucy gave a short cold laugh. "Next thing I knew I was getting married!"

"Did you never talk to Jack about your feelings?" Midge asked earnestly

"I asked him if he could give me any reason why I shouldn't marry his brother," Lucy dipped her eyes to the floor, before continuing. "But he said 'he couldn't."

Even though it was all water under the bridge the moment still stung to recall. "I have to admit I was devastated."

"I'm sure you were, but you know he was only trying to protect his brother" Midge offered kindly.

"I know, I'm pretty sure I knew that night and I knew it was all my own fault but he broke my heart." Lucy couldnt look at the older woman, Jack's mother, Peter's Mother. Shame and hurt felt like it was oozing out of her and she lifted her head to look at the ceiling.

"So you decided to go ahead with the wedding?" Midge urged when it seemed that Lucy wasn't going to continue.

"I did... I tried to convince myself that Peter could make me happy, that we could have a good life. He is rich and handsome and has a wonderful family, what more could a girl want?..." But Lucy remembered the pain of that decision and the tears burnt her eyes.

"But you couldn't go through with it?" Midge added.

"No...no I couldnt" Lucy looked at Midge imploring her to understand. "I saw Jack standing at the front of the Chapel, we stared into each other's eyes as I walked forward and I couldn't do it. Being alone, publicly humiliated and announcing my deceit all of a sudden seemed a better option than being married to anyone other than Jack. And well, you know the rest..."

Lucy stopped speaking, her gaze falling to her hands and quiet fell among them for a few moments.

A wave of panic all of a sudden hit her. Would their talk make Midge feel differently about her. Was Midge upset by her words. She had told the truth, she had laid everything out on the table but was it too much, had she gone too far.

She cautiously lifted her face to look at Midge's but was surprised to see nothing but kindness and raw motion there.

"I'm so glad that Jack found you. I can see how much you love him and I know you will make him very happy." Midge pulled Lucy into another hug.

Lucy hugged her back, they sat in their embrace for a few moments before she spoke, "thank you, I'm so lucky to have him, I love him so much and I can't wait to be his wife."

Lucy turned to look at the closet that still needed sorting. Although the job wasn't one she was looking forward to the thought of having Midge by her side to help her though it seemed to dull the ache in her chest.

It was nearly lunch time, Jack and Ox would be back soon and Lucy realised she hadn't actually done much in the way for packing this morning. She made to stand, she needed to get on with it and there was no time like the present, when Midge held her arm lightly.

"Lucy" she started then hesitated for a second. "I just wanted to say that I'm so glad that you have joined our family and well, I know that we can never replace your dad, but we already think of you as our daughter so we would love it, me and Ox, if you would think of us as your parents." Midge's face was so full of emotion that Lucy could barely speak. She had always know this family was special but this was something else.

"I would love that" was all she could get out before she crushed Midge with a tight hug.

"You know we are always here for you" Midge whispered into Lucy's ear and the two ladies embraced tightly. Lucy finally had a mum and the thought overwhelmed her.

Just then the door sprang open and Mary came in holding a bag of groceries. She looked concerned for a second as she looked at her mom and new sister who both had tear streaked faces.

"Is everything OK?" She asked tentatively without coming any further into the room.

"We're fine" Midge answered wiping the tears from her cheeks. She waved Mary over to where she was sitting with Lucy and patted the bed for her to join them. Throwing her arm round Mary's shoulder Midge continued, "I'm just going to help Lucy sort out some of her Dad's belongs, but it's been an emotional start."

"I'm so sorry Lucy" Mary said looking genuinely concerned, "I'll do anything I can to help." She reached over and held her hand.

"I love you guys." Lucy gave them a quick hug, "but this isn't getting anything done, the boys will be back before we know it and I haven't even started yet!" She laughed.

The three got up and started putting out the suitcases. She cried and she laughed but Lucy actually enjoyed her time with her new family.

Two hours had passed and Lucy had three large suitcases packed and ready to send to good will and a couple of others that she would take to store in the attic at the house. She couldn't believe how easy it had been. She had spent the last two years putting off the job but with the right amount of love and support the weight had been lifted off her shoulders and it had been almost easy to work out the items to keep and which to give away.

Before she knew it Jack and Ox had arrived back at the apartment. Midge started directing the men as to which boxes were ready to go into the truck. Then they said their goodbyes as Midge and Mary went home with Ox.

Jack started wandering round the apartment looking at the progress, he wanted to start moving some of the packed boxes.

"What about these suitcases?" Jack asked Lucy as he walked to the open door of the spare bedroom.

"I want to take these two to the house" she pointed at the luggage right beside the door, "and these three need to go to good will" indicating to the others.

"Wow you've only been packing for one morning and you already have three large suitcases to give away? You can bring anything you want you know? He laughed and wrapped his arms round her waist.

"We have been clearing out my Dad's stuff, it was all still here as I've never been able to face going through it before." Lucy said, looking slightly embarrassed to admit it.

"Oh sweetie you should have said, I would have stayed to help, are you OK?" He exclaimed as he pulled her close and kissed the top of her hair.

"Your mom and Mary were amazing, they helped me so much and its done." She beamed, not only feeling quite proud but she needed him to see that she was alright.

"Are you sure?" He looked at her with concern still in his eyes, "Dam, I should have been here," he berated himself.

"Jack, hey it's ok, I'm ok" she wound her arms round his neck, "come on look at me" she turned his head so they were face to face. "I'm fine, I'm more than fine." She lifted up on to tip toes and brushed his lips with hers then let her head rest on his chest. "Your mom and I had a really good chat about everything, my dad, Peter, you..."

"Me?" Jack laughed as he leaned back to look at her.

"Yeah you, and she was wonderful. She said..." Lucy trailed of for a moment emotion getting the better of her, "she said that I was a Callaghan now and that she wanted me to think of her an Ox as my parents." She gulped down the last word, her chest heaving slightly trying not to loose it completely.

"That's exactly what I would like too" He said as he brushed a tear from her face. "And she is right you are a Callaghan in all but name, so how about once we have you settled into the house we set about putting that right?"

"You want to start organising the wedding?" She grinned, gripping him to her, excitement welling up.

"Yeah, I do and then I want to whisk you away on honeymoon and get you a stamp in that passport!" He chuckled, hugging her tightly.

"Florence?" She whispered into his chest.

"Florence" He agreed, then he bent down and took her lips with his.

I hope you are enjoying Lucy and Jack's story, would love to hear your thoughts in the reviews. xx