A/N: Sorry for the delay between chapters. Things are getting back to normal and I have less time to write, but as Haley says "I'm not going anywhere." So, please know I am committed to finishing this story. Thanks for being a part of the ride and I hope you enjoy!

Also, this chapter's flashback is definitely more M than T so be aware if that's an issue! It's OK to skip it, you'll still get the plotlines you need. The importance of it is to show the connection and vulnerability they had for one another... or still have? Hehe.

...

Chapter 28: A Tree Hill Raven can admit defeat, but that doesn't mean it's over.

Nathan walks back onto the school grounds feeling the most out of control he'd felt in a long time. His head spins and his heart thrums as if it was the fourth quarter of the NBA finals – an overwhelming feeling of stress and adrenaline slowly taking over.

He'd kissed her.

Well, she'd kissed him.

But he let her… and then some. Kissing Haley was easier than breathing. Their bodies intuitively knowing the push and pull, the ins and outs, of how to set each other on fire. Time doesn't take that away, and right now, his body was burning at forest-fire proportions. But it wasn't just attraction, it was anger. Frustration. It was the unloading of feelings he'd buried for years, bubbling to the surface. And this time, he couldn't ignore or distract himself from the truth – he loved her in a way he could never love anyone else, and he was afraid of what she could do with that. Of what she'd already done with that. So, the safest thing to do was walk away.

"Nathan!"

He turns to find Lucas jogging up to him.

"I've been looking for you everywhere man," Lucas says, catching his breath. "Where's Haley?"

"Back in town," Nathan says, feeling guilty. Lucas eyes him curiously, but falls into a quiet stride as they walk their way to the Alumnae Resident Hall.

"Well, are you going to tell me or do I have to ask?" Lucas sighs.

"What's there to tell?" Nathan states, hesitant to share anything with his brother.

Lucas rolls his eyes. "Don't shut me out. That's never gone well."

"You had no problem keeping Dad's little secret. Who shut who out," Nathan argues.

"I didn't know shit," Lucas states. "Brooke and I, she's going to stay with Peyton tonight. I just need some time. I can't talk to her right now."

"Join the club," Nathan says, his jaw tightening.

"She feels awful," Lucas reminds. "She thought she was like, saving us the pain or something. She had good intentions. I just – I'm having trouble understanding how she could withhold something like that, and still look at us every day."

"I sure as hell would have handled my wife leaving differently," Nathan scoffs. "I would have fought for something that wasn't really over."

"I know man, I'm sorry," Lucas states. "I didn't know, but, I'm just sorry…"

"Yeah," Nathan sighs.

"So?" Lucas states. "Did you talk?"

Nathan gives his brother a look to butt out. Lucas takes the hint and bites his tongue. In typical Lucas fashion, that only lasts so long.

"For what it's worth, I think Hales had good intentions too," Lucas states.

"Luke," Nathan warns.

"You can tell when someone isn't, I don't know… whole? And she's not. She gave something up, you can tell."

"I didn't ask her to," Nathan grumbles. "And she forced me to give up something too. And then just shows up ten years later, for what? For me to just forgive and forget? No way."

Lucas goes to speak, when he notices his brother stewing. Finally, Nathan continues.

"And then she kisses me!"

"Wait, you guys kissed?" Lucas says, surprised.

"She kissed me. And I kind of kissed her back. She basically mounted me on a park bench," Nathan states with a laugh, but then he clears his throat, he shouldn't be amused. "It's not going to fix anything, you know?"

"You're an idiot man," Lucas sighs.

"I'm an idiot?"

"Yeah," Lucas confirms.

"Why?" Nathan asks as they approach the residence hall. Stone steps greet them – Nathan takes a seat a few steps up. Lucas stops at the bottom, but doesn't join. He studies his brother.

"I have spent this entire weekend trying to protect you from Haley," Lucas admits. "But the more this reunion unfolds, the more I realize I need to protect you from yourself."

"I'm a grown man," Nathan snaps.

"There's nothing grown about running," Lucas points out.

"She ran out on me, Luke! She did that," Nathan pushes back.

"You were kids back then… now you're not," Lucas observes.

"So?" Nathan grumbles.

"So if you walk away now, there are no second chances," Lucas presses.

"And that's what you think this is, a second chance?" Nathan asks.

"I don't not think that," Lucas admits.

"Does she deserve one?" Nathan sighs.

"Not really," Lucas states, climbing up the stairs to sit next to his brother. "But you do."

Nathan takes it in, his jaw clenching.

"What's really stopping you?" Lucas asks.

"Nothing," Nathan states. "And that's terrifying."

…

In an effort to not look desperately pathetic, Haley walks back to the bench, unwilling to follow Nathan step by step back to campus. The pink pastry box greets her, and she's about four pastries deep when Charity approaches. A quizzical look adorns her round and freckled face.

"Where did you get that?" Charity asks, indicating to the box.

Haley swallows a piece of Bearclaw, licking the sugar off her lips. "The heavens."

"Very funny," she says, taking a seat. "I gave this box to Nathan Scott earlier."

"Don't know him," Haley sighs, about to take another bite of the Bearclaw.

"Sure you don't," Charity says.

"But if I did know him I'd probably say he's the most incredible person. Magical even," Haley says, smiling to herself. "And that his kindness is overwhelming; and his confidence; and my god, his patience too."

"He's also sexy," Charity notes.

"So sexy," Haley says, absentmindedly. "Wait, who are you?"

"I'm Charity," she states.

"I think Nathan's a little old for you," Haley says, observing the girl next to her – she couldn't be older than fifteen.

"I thought you didn't know him?" Charity smiles.

"I don't!" Haley says, flustered.

"Well if you don't know him, he definitely doesn't know you. And he definitely wasn't moping at Karen's earlier about you."

"He wasn't?" Haley asks.

"Nope, not at all," Charity smiles, Haley eyes her, a small smirk curling on her lips.

"And to what do I owe the pleasure of meeting you Ms. Charity?"

"I was just walking on my lunch break and saw the box. But now I kind of want to know everything about the person who broke Nathan Scott's heart," Charity replies.

Haley laughs, "Nice try."

"Come on! Nathan Scott is known for being hard as hell – in basketball of course –"

"Charity!" Haley says, swatting at the teen.

"—but he was hurting this morning. I grew up watching his career. He doesn't give the media anything beyond the game. I think I thought he was like, eat-sleep-basketball-repeat, but he's a little mush-ball inside, isn't he?

"Nathan's been underestimated his whole life," Haley points out. "He is the most surprising person, the most human person, I've ever met. He's also very private. So, whatever you saw this morning, please let him have it for himself."

"You care about him?" Charity asks.

"I do."

"And he cares about you?" Charity asks.

"I think so," Haley hopes.

"Then why aren't you together?" Charity observes. Haley glares at Charity, unwilling to answer. "Fine, but as the silent observer, both of you are pining. What I wouldn't give for someone to think about me the way you two sit there and stew."

"I'm not stewing," Haley states.

"Sure, you're just downing pastries in a park because that's a normal everyday thing to do," Charity laughs.

"You're feisty," Haley laughs. "You remind me of me when I was younger."

"So I have a chance with Nathan Scott?" Charity jokes, but sadness comes over Haley's face, the reality sitting in.

"I'm afraid not. And neither do I," Haley says, a tear escaping down her face.

…

10 Years Ago – Fall

Nathan sits on Haley's bed, his back against her headboard. She's wedged between his legs, her back against his chest, reading The Awakening aloud for their English homework. Nathan massages his thumbs into her shoulders as he listens.

"As Edna walked along the street she was thinking of Robert. She was still under the spell of her infatuation. She had tried to forget him, realizing the inutility of remembering. But the thought of him was like an obsession, ever pressing itself upon her. It was not that she dwelt upon details of their acquaintance, or recalled in any special or peculiar way his personality; it was his being, his existence, which dominated her thought, fading sometimes as if it would melt into the mist of the forgotten, reviving again with an intensity which filled her with an incomprehensible longing," Haley finishes. She rests the book down on her legs, sighing in thought.

"Whatcha thinkin' Haley James?" Nathan asks.

"I know this book is from a hundred years ago, but that's literally how I felt when I met you last year," Haley laughs. "I tried so hard to avoid you but—"

"—I was irresistible," Nathan laughs, pressing a kiss to her shoulder.

"Not quite," Haley admits. "You just stayed with me. This constant thought at the back of my mind. I've never had that happen before. To be so fixated on someone. Even if it was to try and ignore them."

"And what about now?" Nathan asks, kissing her other shoulder. "Are you ignoring me still?"

Haley shakes her head. Nathan gently pulls her hair to tilt her head to face him. They lock eyes, an intensity between them.

"I think we've read enough for tonight," Haley states, Nathan grabs the book from her lap and throws it across the room. "Nathan!"

Haley giggles as Nathan hops off the bed to lock the door. She falls back onto her pillow, letting out a sigh. She was both at ease and nervous at the same time. She watches as he also picks up the book and places it nicely on her desk. The action makes Haley's heart melt, a blush creeps up her chest to her cheeks.

"What?" Nathan says, nervous, as he lays down on the bed next to her.

"You're a sweetie Nathan Scott," Haley says.

"No I'm not," Nathan admits.

"You are to me," Haley points out. Nathan shakes his head in disagreement, reaching out to tuck a piece of hair behind Haley's ear. She leans forward, their noses almost touching. "I like it."

Nathan's ears turn red with embarrassment as he leans forward and kisses Haley. One, two, three times before pulling back. Haley notices the flush to his face.

"Nathan?" Haley asks. He nods, mesmerized. "Why don't you believe me when I tell you you're a good person?"

"Because I'm not," Nathan says, running a hand down Haley's side before resting it on her hip. "But I'm trying to be, for you."

Haley doesn't say anything, just takes his hand in hers and puts it at the waistline of her shorts. "I want to be with you Nathan."

"Hales, I'm not trying to pressure you," Nathan panics, his heart beating a mile a minute.

"You're not," Haley smiles. She brings her other hand up to his clenched jaw, running her thumb up and down. "I'm just ready."

"What if I'm not?" Nathan whispers. This surprises Haley. She runs her hand up his jaw, into his hair, lazily running circles on his scalp.

"What's the matter Nathan?" Haley asks.

"This isn't about sex for me," Nathan says. Haley bites her lip, a little offended. "I mean, it's not only about sex for me. Of course I want to be with you. I am insanely attracted to you."

"Nice save," Haley whispers.

"But sex always changes things. And I never used to care. But now I do. I don't want to mess this up."

"We're not like your past, let's call them, 'relationships'," Haley air quotes. Nathan rolls his eyes. "Sex does change things, but it can be for the better. It can be a form of trust, and I trust you Nathan, with all of me."

"And you're sure?" Nathan says so sincerely and so kindly that it breaks Haley's heart to love someone this much.

"The most sure," Haley smiles, hugging Nathan to her.

Nathan breathes in, relaxing his nerves. "I love you."

"I love you too," Haley says, reaching down to snap the elastic of his basketball shorts. "Now are you going to make me do all the work or what?"

Nathan laughs into her neck before rolling them over, pressing Haley between the bed and his thighs. "I'm nervous."

"I know," Haley smiles, reaching up to bring Nathan's lips down to hers. And just like that, the race was on. He kissed her in every way possible – with love, with passion, with awe, with fright. And she explored him, her hands clinging to his back, his arms, his thighs, his waist, in a desperate attempt to ground this out of body experience.

This was making love, of that Haley was sure. With her t-shirt and shorts long gone, a sweaty foreplayed mess, Nathan unclasps her bra, and throws it to the ground. He palms her chest, smiling in satisfaction at Haley's uncontrollable moan. He kisses her collarbone, then her throat, before finding his way back to her lips.

"Nathan, please," Haley gasps, her eyes fluttering open to find him watching her. He nods, kissing her temple, her chin, her chest, before stopping to drag her underwear down her legs. He nudges her legs apart slightly, the crinkle of the condom wrapper fevered as he opens it and fits it into place.

"I love you," Nathan states, splaying his hand across one of her shoulders, the other rests on the back of Haley's thigh, holding her to him. Haley nods in acknowledgement, but doesn't say anything. He nudges slightly, letting Haley get used to him. She closes her eyes, a gasp escaping her lips.

"Keep going," Haley strains. Nathan listens, entering further. He leans forward, kissing the pain away as Haley rides the unfamiliar wave of discomfort and pleasure. "More."

Nathan pauses, afraid to move–mostly because he wants to give Haley time to adjust, partly because he just might lose it if he so much as twitches. He takes a deep breath in, and as he exhales, moves out and back in. Haley gasps, a different type of gasp, he could hear the delight and it was otherworldly. Her eyes fly open in awe.

"Do it again Nate," Haley pleads. He moves again, the feeling incredible. Slowly his resolve falls away, and Nathan Scott lets his intuition lead. With every move, Haley's confidence comes alive. She meets him half way, she encourages him with her sounds and her words, and her hands find the small of his back, guiding his movements.

Nathan kisses Haley as she starts to shutter, welcoming the release he'd been holding back. He relaxes on top of her, kissing her cheek. She rests her head on his shoulder, giggling in total bliss, followed by uncontrollable tears.

"Hales? What's wrong? I knew this would happen, I knew –" Haley reaches above her, covering Nathan's lips with her sweaty hand.

"I'm happy Nathan. I don't know how to explain it but what we just did told me everything I need to know," Haley admits. "You're magic to me. And that feels really, really good."

Nathan looks down at Haley, wiping a tear from her cheek. "For the first time, I kind of believe you."

Haley smiles at her little victory, and leans into the emotions of becoming more herself than she'd ever been. It excited her that no matter what comes next, they would have this moment forever. And she'd never forget this feeling. Not for a second.

…

Haley unlocks the doors to her room, prepared to pack her bag and get the hell out of Tree Hill. It had been a truly mortifying weekend all around, and she had to stop lying to herself. It was over. Nathan had made that clear. And no amount of hope or coaxing from well-meaning fifteen-year-olds would change that.

She closes the door, leaning her head against it in defeat. Tears well in her eyes as she accepts the final nail in the coffin – ten years of defeat. Ten years of holding out hope, gone. She pounds her fist on the door as tears start to stream, before turning into the on-suite bathroom, throwing her toiletries into their bag. She rushes out of the bathroom and further into her room, throwing the toiletries bag over near her suitcase. The bag misses Brooke and Peyton by mere inches, as they sit on the couch where her bag had been perched.

"What are you doing here?" Haley scoffs, wiping at her eyes. "How'd you even get in here?"

"Doing what we should have done a long time ago," Brooke states.

"And what's that?" Haley asks.

"Talk with you," Peyton says. "Not at you. Not accusing you. Just, talk."

"Haley, there's a reason we were so close. And I think we got so caught up in the repercussions of your leaving, we didn't even question how you got there. The Haley we knew wouldn't just up and leave," Brooke says, her voice welling with emotion.

"No, she wouldn't," Haley agrees.

"So what changed?" Brooke asks.

Haley looks at Brooke and Peyton, she can tell they're genuinely trying, but it's too late. She shakes her head, unwilling to continue. "Look, I made a mistake coming here. I did so much damage, more than I let myself believe, and it's done. If I care about Nathan, I need to stop blowing up his world. It's easier for everyone if you just hate me. So, I'm done, OK. You can go."

Brooke and Peyton watch Haley, the deep-rooted pain in her evident. They don't move.

"Leave! Please!" Haley begs. She breaks down further, curling up on the bed beside her; the tears more turbulent, her body shakes in pain. This was the loss she'd pushed off every day since she was eighteen.

She feels a hand on her shin, squeezing, and a hand pulling her hair back out of her face. They were staying, and as they sat in silence, letting her cry like she'd never cried before, Haley's heart ached. A reminder of the unconditional friendship she'd made conditional. That she'd given up. And she cried a little more for them.

When Haley calms down, Peyton looks at Brooke, an unspoken conversation going between them.

"What if we call a truce?" Peyton offers. Haley looks up at both of them, skeptical.

"I'm leaving," Haley commits. Peyton and Brooke eye each other, Peyton nods at Brooke, the world's best convincer.

"You can't," Brooke states. "We're imploding at the moment. And as much as we all pretend like you're not a part of our life, you are. You are our big 'what if' and I think we need you. We need to know what it's like to have you back. I mean really have you back."

"You can't just flip a switch and forgive me, Brooke. And even if you can, Nathan can't, so…" Haley points out.

"Leave Nathan to us, OK?" Peyton observes. "Besides, selfishly, Brooke needs this as her 'Hales Mary' for the Scott boys. You're not the only fuck-up around here."

"Gee, thanks Peyton," Brooke grumbles.

"You need me?" Haley asks, her voice a little hopeful as she looks at Brooke.

"Kind of," Brooke admits as Peyton eyes daggers her way. She warms up, "OK, fine. I do."

"So you're saying the only way you can fix this is if I stay?" Haley thinks.

"I guess I am," Brooke says. Haley looks between Brooke and Peyton, unsure but thinking it over.

"I'll stay on one condition," Haley agrees.

"Name it," Peyton eagerly awaits.

"If Nathan asks me to leave, I'm leaving," Haley states. The girls look between each other, afraid of the probability it just might happen, but willing to take the risk. They hold out their hands to Haley. She takes one in each of her own.

"Deal," Brooke and Peyton say, squeezing Haley's hands. She squeezes back.

"Quick Q," Brooke says. "How hot of an outfit do you have for trivia tonight?"

"Brooke!" Haley chides.

"I mean if this is a 'Hales Mary' I'm pulling out all the stops. And you need to look drop-dead gorgeous. If Nathan drops dead, he can't be mad at you anymore."

"What a sweet sentiment," Peyton says sarcastically.

"I'm going to regret this," Haley laughs, getting up to go to the closet.

"Oh most definitely," Peyton agrees.

"But thank you," Haley says, looking both her friends in the eye. They nod in agreement. She didn't know how long it would last, and she didn't know if it would be worth it, but right now, Haley couldn't be more grateful for a truce.

Tonight is her last chance. And she's giving it all she's got.