Hyde watched the sad and pathetic lives of his friends waste their money on the lame disco that was at Kenosha. He wouldn't go either if it wasn't for Jackie -
Oh, no, wait. He did not just admit that.
Jackie was still with Kelso anyway despite what Hyde just told her at the concert. He supposed he would never understand that, but then again, understanding girls was a mystery. If there was a manual on how to understand women, he was pretty sure it'd still be impossible to read.
The guys needed money for gas so they were going to Kelso's for more empty cans to collect. Hyde was about to join them reluctantly. The disco was of the devil. He couldn't believe the girl he liked was into disco.
What was wrong with him?
"I can't believe they're gonna waste all their money on a stupid disco when they could buy a really big bag..." He paused to turn around to Red and caught himself in time. "Of caramels."
"Not going to that disco, huh?" Red assumed as he got a beer can from the fridge. Already knew that Hyde didn't plan on going; it was more than just the money.
"No. Phony people listening to crappy music does not sound like my kind of time."
"You can't dance, can you?" Red smiled.
It was like he saw right through him, but Hyde couldn't admit to something embarrassing like that.
Even though Jackie loved disco, she also loved dancing. How could impress her when he didn't even know how to dance himself?
"I can dance."
"I don't think so, pal." Red walked over to the trash can and put his foot onto the rim.
"I can dance." Hyde insisted, but even he thought he didn't sound convincing enough.
"Not one step." Red pointed at him and looked straight at the eyes.
That's when Hyde had to drop the act. Impossible to lie in front of Red Forman."You're right. Not one step."
"Well, then you got a problem, son," Red sighed as he opened his can of beer. "Cause women wanna dance. They always wanna dance. Always."
The point Red made was as if he should be warned of that for the future. There would be no escape for for him.
Hyde didn't understand why women loved to dance so much. He just didn't get it. There would be bodies shaking to the beat of the music and letting loose. Looking ridiculous while doing it. In front of people. Along to disco so that made it ten times more worse.
The guys would watch him dance. As if he cared what they thought, but at least he had dignity. It would be embarrassing to dance like a fool just to impress a girl.
Would it be worth it? If he could somehow win Jackie's heart and make her realize what a jerk Kelso was? If he had to wiggle like an idiot for her, then maybe it would be worth it. Maybe.
"Because they can get close and wiggle their bodies around...in front of a man in a safe atmosphere." Red took drink of his beer.
"See, I don't really wanna wiggle around in public."
"Of course not. You're a man," Hyde nodded in agreement. He knew guys didn't do that stuff for good reason. Even Kelso was going so he could meet new hot chicks. It wasn't to dance. "My point is, you're going to have to learn. Otherwise, later on in life, you're gonna be wiggling all by yourself. Now, if you want, I can help you out."
Hyde didn't know what kind of plan Red had in store for him.
Later in the living room, Kitty was giving Hyde dance lessons. It was totally embarrassing for him and he would be caught dead if any of the guys walked in. The good thing was, he made decent progress. Kitty thought he was good at it. She gave him enough confidence to actually want to go to the damn disco.
At least there was a mother who believed he was good at something. Instead of always believing he was like his father.
On the night of disco, Kitty proudly took pictures of them. Hyde thanked her when the other wasn't paying attention and she had encouraged him. He went inside the Vista Cruiser with the others to head for Kenosha.
At the disco, Kelso was supposedly dancing with his flailing body movements to The Bee Gees, but he looked like he was convulsing more. People moved away not to give him more room, but probably out of fear.
Hyde noticed Jackie looked at her boyfriend with disapproval and her arms were crossed. That should set the mood off in a bad direction for her against Kelso which was good enough for him. Hyde could make his own move soon and show her that he can dance.
"Jackie, where'd you go?" Kelso asked as he returned to his chair.
"I had to get something for you to bite on because I told everyone you were having a seizure." Jackie snapped in irritation, evidently embarrassed by her boyfriend's lack of dance skills.
"When do they play the disco music?" Fez wondered loudly to be heard from The Bee Gees.
"This is disco music." Donna informed him.
"No, no," Fez shook his head. "This is samba."
"Fez, it's disco, man. It's crap." Hyde vehemently showed his hatred for the musical genre. It was grating to his ears and he wished he could listen to Led Zeppelin instead.
"Oh, I think I like this crap!" Fez smiled and stood up, putting his hand out for Jackie to take. "Come, Jackie, let's get down."
"No, I think I'm a little tired." Jackie answered and then glared at Kelso. After the humiliating dance show that her boyfriend performed, that had ruined the night for her. She wanted to dance with him, but not while Kelso was having a seizure.
"Don't resist me, mama," Fez persisted in a seductive voice, his hand was under Jackie's chin forcing her to look at him. "It's boogie time."
Then Fez pulled Jackie away from her seat and the two went to the dance floor.
Wait, wait. That wasn't supposed to happen.
Hyde was somehow going to dance with Jackie to impress her. He didn't expect the little foreigner to steal Jackie away from him. He knew he waited too long to make his move. He should've just gone in for the kill and asked Jackie first.
Screw Fez and screw disco.
"I think you just lost your date." Donna smirked to Kelso.
"Yeah, well, it's cool cause Jackie and I are history!" Kelso exclaimed in frustration.
The group watched Fez and Jackie dance together. Fez really had some excellent dance moves that neither of them knew he had. He danced with Jackie and put in more moves that Hyde knew he could never top off. They were all amazed as they watched them together. Fez and Jackie even had an audience from the dance floor who watched them with admiration.
"She must not weigh that much." Eric commented as Fez lifted Jackie and spun her through the air.
They danced some more and Jackie lifted her leg up, barely touching Fez's ass.
"She touched his ass?" Kelso asked in disbelief.
Fez pulled her to their table by having one hand under her lifted thigh and his other hand was at her waist. Jackie had her arm around his neck and the point of her foot was dragging onto the black and white checker board floor.
"Listen. Merengue." Fez took her back to the dance floor and they danced to ABBA's Fernando.
"Wooo! Fez, you're crazy!" Jackie joined him for another round.
"They are really good." Eric complimented them.
"Yeah, if you want to dance that way." Kelso pouted in his seat.
"I would love to dance that way." Donna said dreamily.
"Uh, do you want to...um, dance with me?" Forman finally had the balls to ask his girl out to dance.
Donna beamed at him. "Sure!"
He didn't expect that for answer, but gladly went along with her to the dance floor.
Which left Hyde alone with a grouchy and miserable Kelso as he bitterly watched Fez and Jackie slow danced together. Hyde felt a twinge of jealousy as he watched Fez dance with his crush and he didn't like how Fez stared at her. It should've been him dancing with Jackie. Not Fez.
"You're right, Hyde," Kelso moped with his arms crossed, glaring at Jackie and Fez. "Disco sucks."
"What are you pissed off for?" Hyde asked. "You should be glad that Jackie's off with another guy. Means you'll be off the hook with her for good."
"Yeah, but it was supposed to be me breaking up with her! Not her with another guy!"
"I don't get you, man," Hyde shook his head. "You say you're going to break up with her, but then you won't. Make up your damn mind already! Before some other guy sweeps in and takes her!"
He finally snapped, losing his patience with Kelso for how he was stringing Jackie along. He was also a bit annoyed at Jackie because she knew that Kelso planned to break up with her, but yet, was still with him anyway.
Hyde kept a close eye on Jackie and Fez. To make sure Fez kept his hands and mouth to himself because his eyes said otherwise. He was sure Kelso was doing the same, but it was more out of jealousy and possession.
When the ABBA song was over, and Rose Royce's Car Wash came on, it looked like Jackie wanted a break so Fez was about to lead her outside.
Hyde couldn't let that happen and knew what that meant.
Immediately, he found himself getting up and walked straight over to them.
"Where are you two kids going?" Hyde looked at Jackie, almost surprised that she wanted to leave because she was the one who made them come. "Gonna ditch the lame disco, huh?"
"It's not lame," Jackie defended. "We're just going out for some fresh air."
"Yes, we are going to Eric's Cruiser to talk." Fez said, but Hyde wasn't dumb. He knew Fez had something up his sleeve judging by how he looked at Jackie all night.
"You two alone? Man, you know she's Kelso's girl." Hyde reminded.
"But he's going to break up with her anyway." Fez tried to justify for getting together with Jackie.
"I know, Fez." She said.
"You do?" He looked at her being surprised.
"Yeah, and so what if I'm with another guy? If Michael wants to break up with me then he should do it already. He's the one who clearly wants it."
"Why don't you dump him?" Hyde suggested. "Aren't you tired of him using you?"
Jackie considered that. "Yeah, but then what will I do? Prom is coming up soon and I need to have him for my date."
"Oh, Jackie. There's other fishes in the pond," Then Fez clarified. "That's a saying in my country."
"Look, I'm not telling you what to do, but it's better for you if you just break up with Kelso. You'll have the bigger balls than he does." Hyde advised.
Jackie was conflicted and didn't know what to do at the moment.
"I know, but I just can't, okay? At least not tonight. This was supposed to be fun and now..."
Hyde could tell Jackie was stressed out about her relationship. He figured they should go somewhere private.
"Want to head on out?" He suggested, pointing his thumb backwards to the exit nodded. "Yeah."
She walked with him and that was a plus. He may not have had a chance to dance with her, but spending time alone was better than nothing.
"Hey, wait!" Fez protested. "She was going to go with me!"
"Uh, yeah, about that...how about you go comfort Kelso, alright?" Hyde smirked being smug at him in victory that he won Jackie and Fez lost.
Fez sighed in defeat and trudged back to their table in a grumpy pout.
In the parking lot, Hyde and Jackie found the Vista Cruiser where it was parked. Hyde sat in the driver's seat and Jackie sat next to him. It was like when they were in the car during the concert.
"You were, uh, really good at dancing back there." Hyde complimented her awkwardly. It's been a while since they were alone together to talk in private.
"Thanks," Jackie made her cute smile to him. "I know you hate disco, but I love it. Thanks for coming anyway. It means a lot."
"Sure thing."
"I didn't think you would go. You don't seem like the type."
"Actually, I didn't plan on it."
That got Jackie curious. "What made you change your mind?"
You. Hyde thought, but didn't dare say it aloud. He learned how to dance because of her, because he liked her.
"Just trying something new," He shrugged. "See what the disco hype is all about."
"Did it meet your expectations?"
"Not by a long shot." He shook his head making them chuckle.
The music was horrible and Hyde had to suffer watching Fez dance with Jackie. But in the end with him in the car with her, the night didn't turn out to be so bad.
"How can you stand disco?" Hyde asked. He always wanted to know the answer.
"If you just give it a chance, the music is really fun to listen to. I guess it just makes me really happy like you want to dance. Can you dance?"
"Yeah, I know some moves..." Hyde trailed off. He was embarrassed to admit that now when he saw how amazing Fez was.
"Really? You can dance?" Jackie definitely didn't expect that to come from the rebellious teen. "I wish I could've seen it."
"Me, too." He accidentally let the words flew out of his mouth without thinking. It was like those dance lessons Kitty gave him had gone to waste without Jackie not seeing them.
Then their eyes met and Hyde almost felt like he was being drawn into Jackie, like she was reeling him in. He knew Jackie felt the same way when her eyes was almost going to flutter to a close and her lips puckered beckoning for his own to meet.
Suddenly, Hyde got forcefully brought out of the hypnotizing trance when he felt yanked out of his seat. Kelso slammed him against the car and yelled at his face.
"Michael!" Jackie exclaimed and then got out of the car herself.
"Alright, pal, that's it! It's you and me, right here, right now!"
"What the hell, man?"
"Jackie is my girl, Hyde! Besides, I thought you hated her."
Jackie looked at Hyde with a raised eyebrow and crossed her arms, narrowing her eyes at him. Crap. Probably thinking all of their moments they had together was a lie and that he was using her. It was true that Hyde did hated Jackie at first, but now he had a change of heart for her.
"I thought you were going to break up with her!" Hyde countered fast on his feet.
Kelso got caught and it choked him. He took one quick glance at Jackie who glared at him.
"Where do you even get that stuff?"
Hyde hated that Kelso had to play pretend in front of Jackie. He roughly pushed Kelso off from him and Kelso tried to tackle him, but then that made the two boys fall to the ground as they wrestled.
"Michael! Michael!" Jackie cried to him and they stopped. Both of them got up to face her. "It's not his fault. We were just talking."
"Oh, yeah? What about you and Fez?" Kelso demanded while Hyde had him a head lock.
"You just don't know how to dance with me." She argued.
"I don't know how to dance, so you just take off with some other guy?"
"I know, Michael. I'm sorry. I was wrong. You know what? Maybe you should just break up with me."
"What?" For a moment, Hyde felt his grip onto Kelso loosened and Kelso took advantage of that moment to escape from the headlock. He thought now would be the moment the couple would finally split. "Break up with you? Heh, where do you keep hearing that stuff? Who told you?"
"Does it matter? Don't you want to break up me?"
"No, baby." Kelso cooed softly like he was talking to a pet and Hyde had to roll his eyes. "Whoever told you that they're just messing up with your head. I don't want to break up with you. The only girl I want to be with is you."
"Oh, Michael..." Jackie said sweetly being swooned by her boyfriend's words, walking closer to him, holding his hands.
"Gag me." Hyde muttered under his breath. He couldn't believe Jackie was falling for it.
She even glared at him before she kissed Kelso leaving Hyde as a third wheel.
He couldn't believe he lost Jackie for the second time that night.
In the Forman's driveway, Hyde and Fez was sitting together on the hood of the Vista Cruiser drinking a root beer.
"Oh, Hyde, you were right about disco music," Fez frowned. "It is evil. It's pulsing rhythm made me do a bad thing."
Hyde thought about his own secret desires to his best friend's girl. He was so close to kiss her if only Kelso hadn't interrupted them and said that he hated her. Kelso may be an idiot, but he was still Hyde's best friend, and he felt a bit ashamed of wanting his girl.
"Yeah, me, too."
"Kelso is my friend. I cannot take his woman."
"You're a good guy, Fez." Hyde looked over at him in appreciation. At least Fez had morals, Hyde just knew what kind of jerk Kelso really was behind Jackie's back.
"Kelso doesn't deserve her and Jackie deserves to be treated like the woman she is and he should display her to the room like a beautiful flower." Fez said passionately.
Hyde had to agree with him on that, but he couldn't because he acted like he hated her in front of them. Jackie should get displayed like the beautiful flower she was.
Then Forman came outside of the house with Donna. Hyde and Fez got off of the hood and was about to leave.
"See ya, guys." Hyde bid them a goodbye and left with Fez for their privacy.
At least Forman was able to score Donna tonight so that should work out in his favor.