Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach
Principal's Office: Sora and Aizen finally meet after Orihime, Ulquiorra, Ichigo, and Grimmjow visit a clueless Urahara.
Ulquiorra was beginning to get a headache. He and the woman, as well as that blasted Ichigo Kurosaki AND Grimmjow were all crammed into the principal's office. After his recent episode in the bathroom, old man Yamomoto had shuffled all four of them towards Yoruichi Shihoin's office. Much to Ulquiorra's dismay, the shady hat man, Kisuke Yurahara, answered the door. Apparently he was principal.
It was a tiny office by nature and with only two chairs, Orihime had claimed one while Ulquiorra had refused to leave the doorway.
"Move over, pea brain!" Grimmjow barked and tried to shove Ichigo out of the only remaining chair while the carrot top retaliated by planting his foot into the six year old's face.
"No you move over!" he shouted back, just as vexed. Oblivious to their shenanigans, Orihime happily munched on the tiny candy fruit balls in the glass jar on Ms. Shihoin's desk. Behind it, Urahara hid under his striped hat and flipped through a questionable magazine with a scantily clad woman on the cover.
"Ms. Shihoin will be with you shortly," he murmured absently as his eyes scanned down the page. As if on queue the lights over head flickered once and a loud crash followed by a series of bumps and bangs could be heard from the next room over.
"Wait. What was that?" Ichigo demanded, pausing in his struggle with Grimmjow, only for him to sucker punch him in the face.
"Ouch! Cut it out!" he shouted, only for Grimmjow try to headbutt him.
"Everything is under control," Urahara droned out in monotone.
Ulquiorra rolled his eyes at the entire situation. Of course this would happen on his first night in the school club with Orihime. He had bent over backwards to get his father to agree and for what? To spend the entire time in the questionable counselor's office? Aggravated, Ulquiorra felt his headache grow. Unable to help himself, he rubbed his temples.
A moment later, the connecting door to the room next to them blew off it's hinges and flew into the adjacent wall, narrowly missing Ulquiorra. Wide eyed, the preschoolers all watched as the purple haired counselor and sometime school nurse Ms. Shihoin, leaped onto her desk and went down on one knee with an antique samurai sword in her arm.
"Don't mind me," she told them and jerked the sword into a sudden but graceful horizontal swipe.
"I'm just finishing up my evening exercises," she told them with a grunt and leaped off the desk to charge at the air next to it. Squeaking, Orihime leaped up from her seat and ran over to Ulquiorra who took a hold of her hand.
Mouth agape, Ichigo was the first to recover from the scene.
"What kind of exercise?" he demanded only for Grimmjow to finally win over the seat by shoving Ichigo to the ground.
"A spiritual one," Ms. Shihoin quipped, only to backflip back towards the adjoining room she had just exited. The lights once again flickered and random books and paper seemed to all come to life around them before falling to the floor in a haphazard mess.
"Okay, I think we've interrupted Ms. Shihoin's exercise long enough. Time to leave," Urahara interrupted before springing out of his seat and shuffling Grimmjow and Ichigo towards the door.
"What about my candy?" Orihime protested once Ms. Shihoin left the room. Said candy was scattered all over the floor of the small room.
"Every man for himself!" Grimmjow shouted and shook out of Urahara's hold. He and Orihime instantly dove to the floor to gather as much candy as possible while Ichigo too slipped out of Urahara's hold and reclaimed the chair. Ulquiorra seemed to be the only one ready to go, thankful that he wasn't in the spotlight anymore. It would be bad enough having to explain to his stepfather why he had marked his chest with a permanent marker.
"That's it? You're not gonna punish Ulquiorra?" Ichigo demanded. Hearing his name, Orihime paused in her scavenging to puff out her cheeks and glare at Ichigo. She wanted him to be nice to her best friend.
Blinking in confusion, Urahara studied the children's faces.
"Which one of you is Ulquiorra?" he asked blankly. Everyone pointed to the five year old who sighed internally before raising his hand. Urahara continued to study him.
"...and what exactly did you do?"
Before anyone could explain, the office door suddenly burst open to reveal the worried face of Orihime's brother Sora closely followed by the subtle annoyed face of Ulquiorra's stepfather, Azien.
"Orihime!" Sora explained and immediately barged in and scooped up his little sister who immediately wiggled out of his hold.
"The time for the academic club has passed. The children should have been released half of an hour ago," Aizen added before beckoning Ulqiorra towards him.
"Is it?" Urahara asked while scratching his head.
"Sorry sir, they just barged in," Tessai apologized.
Aizen looked annoyed. Sora looked worried. Ichigo made a beeline for the door before quickly disappearing. Grimmjow was too preoccupied with the candy to look up.
"Why are you in the principal's office?" Sora asked his sister worriedly. Unfortunately, Orihime was distracted by the sweets.
"Ulquiorra hid in the bathroom so I had to go get him but I wasn't supposed to go in the boys room and then I drew on his chest and made a heart but Grimmjow tattle-taled and then we all went to the principal's office to eat candy!" Orihime exclaimed in a sugar rushed jumble.
"Was that what happened?" Urahara asked in confusion. Ulquiorra vaguely heard his father insult Urahara's intelligence and position as the principal.
Sora blinked.
"Ulquiorra?" he asked before his face transformed into a frown.
"Ulquiorra as in the boy who has been biting you?" Sora demanded as his angry eyes zeroed in on the preschooler. Ulquiorra felt like crawling under a rock. Why did his past childlike personality feel the need to bite the woman?
"Bite? Ulquiorra I thought we discussed this?" Aizen demanded as he had overheard the end of the conversation.
"I don't do that anymore," he quietly told them with reddened cheeks, wishing the scrutiny would end. It only worsened however, when Orihime jumped in front of him with her arms spread as if to protect him.
"Don't hurt him! Ulquiorra had a dream that there was a hole in his chest because of the storm and he only bited me because he's my best boyfriend!" she exclaimed, her words flying out in a garble. She was still sugar high from all the candy.
"Hole in his chest?" Urahara asked, as he rubbed his chin.
"Best boyfriend?" Sora repeated.
Sighing, Aizen stepped in and took firm hold of Ulquiorra's wrist.
"Perhaps this discussion should be continued at dinner. Are you and your sister free right now, Mr. Inoue?"
A/N: Hope you guys enjoyed the update. It's been forever and a day. Last year was hell and my heart goes out to everyone who suffered through the pandemic. Due to personal reasons, I had no inspiration whatsoever to write. Hopefully this year will be better.
It has come to my attention that fanfic . net is no longer a reliable place to post fanfiction and so in the next following months I will be transitioning over to ao3 using the same pen name. Hope to see you guys there.