*Jumps through the window in an All Might onesie* I AM HERE! UPDATING AT LAST! *jumps out the window screeching demonically*

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The bridge was burning. The city was being attacked by fish warriors. He was in another flipping dimension. He'd just been kidnapped, interrogated (not really) dropped out of the sky, and narrowly avoided death.

And now he had to deal with this.

"Perish, you worm!"

Ed swore and deftly sidestepped again, narrowly avoiding the spear. Right. On top of everything else, now he had to deal with Fishface Mc Flipflops over here, who seemed hellbent on skewering Ed like a trident (kebob?).

"Hope you choke on a lemon and die, Truth." He muttered, eyes darting around the bridge.

He wasn't in a very good situation.

He had initially underestimated Fishhead because of his horrible fashion choices, but that had been a mistake that nearly cost him the other arm. Fishface was fast, unnaturally so. He was freakishly strong. And, unfortunately, he could chuck a spear pretty darn quick-

Edward swore and ducked behind a stalled car, momentarily having escaped Captain Flipflops and breathing heavily.

-and there was also the problem of his environment. A freaking burning bridge just screamed 'potential disasters! Woo!' and if that wasn't freaking fantastic on its own, there was also the fact that since the bridge was damaged, transmutations were risky; The bridge was already falling apart. If he started pulling material from it to fight, there was a very high chance it would decide to fall faster.

A loud yell, accompanied by a crash, caused Edward to risk a glance at the sky.

Oh. Right.

The cherry on top of this stupid situation.

There were several figures in the sky, shooting laser blasts and lightning every which way, yelling, and in general causing massive destruction.

Which meant that in addition to being in a difficult combat situation, his identity was also at risk if he used alchemy. Although the idiots in the sky seemed mostly occupied, his transmutations weren't exactly subtle, and if one of them did see him transmute, it would raise questions that he definitely didn't want to be bothered with.

Where exactly did this leave him?

Screwed, that's where.

"Do not run from me, coward!" Fish-flops yelled, uncomfortably close to Ed's hiding spot.

Ed shifted his stance behind the car. If he was going to do this, it would have to be fast and precise. He couldn't afford to be careless right now. One wrong move, and he was dead (and he had a nice little bouquet of options for how that could happen).

He just had to hope that the guys in the sky were too occupied to notice what he was about to do.

Take this, fish-head. He thought as he brought his hands together, just as Fish-head himself rounded the corner of the car, spear raised to attack.

Ed brought his hands down on the asphalt with a slap, and then the resounding ring of an alchemical reaction pierced the chaotic symphony of the area.

Fish-head didn't even have time to blink.

A massive asphalt pillar shot out from behind the car, breaking through the blinding light of alchemic discharge, and struck Fish-flops directly in the chest, sending him flying back at least 15 feet and then tumbling another 6, only stopping when he crashed into one of the many abandoned cars.

Ed wooped and cackled, returning the pillar to the ground and dusting himself off. It had been an extremely satisfying attack to watch. An easy victory in the Fullmetal Alchemist's book, all things considered.

But then, with only a slight groan, Fish-head got back up, dusted himself off, and Ed decided he was truly screwed.

Because that kind of attack should have at least knocked out any ordinary person, and the fact that Fish-head looked only mildly annoyed did NOT speak well for Ed's side of the fight.

Ed swore loudly, re-adjusting his stance and bringing his arms up into a defensive position. The fish man laughed, making Ed's neck hairs rise and his fingers prickle uncomfortably.

"Foul sorcery! Atuma will not be stopped by such feeble tricks!" his enemy shouted, brandishing his spear.

Ed grit his teeth, readying to bring his hands together again, but before Ed had the chance to attack, Fish-head was back on him, and Ed only narrowly missed a powerful blow to the head by abruptly tumbling out of the way.

They were going back and forth in hand to hand now, Atuma's vicious attacks were quickly forcing Ed to retreat backwards. He threw attack after attack, and Ed was forced to dodge again and again to avoid being pummeled.

Ed cursed and swore as he took steps backwards, constantly deflecting blows. He couldn't win like this! He side-stepped another powerful punch. This was bad. This was really really-

-Suddenly, Atuma's spear swung at him in a wide arc that he had no hope of dodging and-!

CLANG!

With a sharp ringing sound and a jolt that traveled all the way down to Ed's shoulder, the progress of Atuma's spear was halted on Ed's automail arm, brought upwards in a defensive position at the last second. Before Atuma had a chance to wonder how a pathetic human had managed to stop his spear with their arm, Ed had ducked, rolled under his legs and stood back up behind him.

His automail fingers weren't moving quite right, and there was a bad looking dent on the front armor plate, but it was damage he could fight with.

Atuma whipped around just in time to see the bright flash of alchemy, and then a cement fist going straight at his face. Ed didn't stop this time, he ran circles around Atuma, who yelled and swung his spear back and forth, breaking the pillars and fists while Ed continuously created them. At this point though, there was no way Atuma was going to win. Ed was in his element, and had turned the fight around into being nearly all to his advantage. He grinned as he slammed his hands to the road, moving the asphalt up around Atuma's legs, then chest.

Before he had a chance to destroy the concrete, Atuma had been encased up to his head in asphalt that Ed was rapidly thickening.

Almost….Almost…!

Done. Ed stepped back and wiped a small trickle of blood off his face. Atuma cursed and struggled, but even he couldn't break out of such an entrapment.

Ed let out a sigh of relief. "Freaking finally-"

A massive metal beam crashed into the ground, inches from his face, causing Ed to jump backward with a yell.

Oh yeah. Burning bridge.

"crap crap crap…!" he hissed as he jumped to his feet, avoiding the falling debris as he scrambled backwards.

Ok! Problem #1 was handled, but now he had to deal with this! Time to go!

Ed turned and ran.

However, a burning bridge was not easy to traverse even on the best of days, and especially not after what Ed had done to it in his fight. He climbed over chunks of road and overturned cars, all the while having to stay completely alert to the bridge around him, lest he be squished like an unfortunate bug under the falling debris.

In one attempt to vault over a large chunk of asphalt, he tried used his automail arm as support, only to suddenly find himself sprawling on sharp asphalt chunks as his arm made a disturbing grinding sound.

Great. My arm's busted. He thought, hastily inspecting it. It certainly wasn't the worst beating his automail had taken, but the internal damage from Fish-head's spear was worse than he had initially thought.

So he had one functional arm, blood loss, and he was stuck on a broken, burning bridge.

"Great." Ed growled.

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Hello! Author here. I got another message asking what canon I'm using, so although I already said this earlier, I'll say it again.

Am I following a specific avengers canon? No.

Am I mashing together the MCU, various marvel TV shows, tumblr posts, and supergluing it all together with headcannons and fan-theories, while sewing it into a discombobulated mass through the plot holes?

Yes. Yes I am.

And I have no regrets. :)