Hi everyone :) This is a CS oneshot that takes place early in Neverland, right after the group fights the Lost Boys.
~cosette141
Emma stood still in the clearing, the Lost Boys and Pan disappearing from sight. She knew there was no point in going after them.
They still had Henry, she was playing his game, and it was fricken rigged.
"Emma?"
Emma didn't react to Mary Margaret's voice, where she, David, Regina and Hook were slowly sheathing swords and weapons, the battle over. The war, however, not by a long shot.
What if they never find him?
They were on an island run on imagination. Pan's imagination, more than anyone else's. His rules. His game. He was going to do whatever he wanted to do to Henry and Emma was beginning to realize it didn't matter what they did.
"Emma…"
Mary Margaret's voice was closer now, right over her shoulder.
Emma didn't flinch.
She just stood still.
So, very, still.
"Emma," her voice whispered, "it's going to be all right. We're going to find him."
But those were lies.
"It's all right, Emma. You'll find a home soon."
All lies.
So when something started burning furiously behind her eyes, Emma ran.
She didn't care where she ran.
Didn't care about Dreamshade.
Didn't care about any black jungles.
Didn't care if she ran into Pan himself and he tore her to pieces.
She just ran, ignoring the shouts of her name from the distance behind her.
Because she's found the one worst thing than never having a family.
Having one…
And losing it.
The fear, the nightmares of what must be happening to Henry, the guilt for not having protected him when she should have…
It was too much.
It was too damned much.
The burning grew and grew but still she ran until her muscles burned and she was desperate now, running just to run. What she did best.
"Swan!"
That was Hook's voice.
"Leave me alone!" she shouted back, whipping through branches, feeling them cut and scrape her arms and her face.
"Swan, stop! It's not safe here!"
He was closer, she could hear him running somewhere behind him, but it just pushed her to go faster, only to feel him grab her shoulder with his hand.
"Let me go!"
She tried to shake him off but he only gripped her harder, dragging her back and turning her to face him.
When he saw her face, eyes red, defeated, broken, the mixture of frustration and fear in his face froze. For half a second he looked speechless. "Swan…"
"I said leave me alone!" The dam holding back that burning in her eyes was cracking but she'd be damned if anyone saw her fall, least of all him. She jerked out of his grip, that had gone slack at seeing her face, and she started to run again but the strap of her sword scabbard jerked her back. She realized with a growl that the pirate used his hook to grab the strap. So without hesitancy, she threw a fist at him, and it collided with his cheek, knocking him back a step in surprise, but didn't make him let go. Instead, he pulled her sharply backward toward him, pinning her arms to her sides and holding her tightly to his chest.
"Let me go!"
"Swan, stop!"
She didn't. She kicked out, making him stumble backward, but he didn't let her go. "Hook, let me—"
"Emma, please!"
The use of that word made her still, hearing the pleading in his voice, whispered right in her ear. She stopped struggling, both of them breathing hard.
"I'm going to let you go," said Hook slowly, still a little breathless. "Promise you won't try to kill me."
Emma wasn't sure she was up for negotiating such a thing at the moment, but she was still as Hook released his hold on her, though his hand remained on her shoulder, turning her gently to face him. The grip he had on her was strong, but in a near protective way, as if he were afraid if he let go, she'd disappear.
She stared at him, and he stared at her, silence filling the air between them as even the island was as still as they.
And then…
The dam broke.
Emma felt the burning suddenly cloud her vision, falling down her cheeks. A sob broke free from her chest, and she suddenly felt Hook grab her.
He pulled her into his arms, wrapping them around her, tight and strong. The scent of leather and rum and him suddenly enveloped her, her face pressed to his chest, feeling his hand on the back of her hair.
And she cried.
Cried for all the years she pushed the burning away.
All the homes that didn't take her in, and all the ones that did but were never home.
Cried for Henry, the son she gave up for the fear that she wouldn't be good enough for him, and cried for the fact that her fear was true.
Somewhere beyond the haze she realized Hook was whispering something to her, some sweet nothing, still holding her tightly to him. And in that moment, Emma shut her eyes, never in her life having felt more safe. More protected. She cried into him and held nothing back, for there was nothing left to stop it.
She didn't know how long they stayed like that until she opened her eyes, the black material of his vest filling her vision, her fingers fisted in his coat, feeling his left arm around her waist, his hand gently on the back of her head, his thumb caressing her hair.
Hook.
This was Hook.
The sudden realization spiked her heart, that somewhere in her breakdown she'd found herself clinging to Hook, which in any other circumstance would have her pulling sharply away, but here…
This wasn't what she expected him to be like.
This wasn't the man he'd shown himself to be. That man cared about nothing and no one besides himself, was merciless and allied with only those who could help his cause no matter whom he hurt along the way, and who was only following her around for her pretty face.
The man holding her, however, was nothing of the sort.
Because here, he held her for no other reason than because she needed someone to. Not because he was planning on getting anything out of it. His arms held her gently, carefully, as if he knew what he was holding was as delicate as glass.
And maybe that should have scared her, that she did need someone. That he was seeing her broken, walls down, completely and utterly vulnerable.
But for some reason it didn't.
Not in this moment.
Not in his embrace.
In this moment, time froze, and she allowed herself to lose herself in it. Be vulnerable. Be broken. Let someone else pick up the pieces.
But as she calmed, she was suddenly aware of just how compromising, just how susceptible the position she was in. Fear jumped into her heart and she felt herself instinctively pulling back.
His arms didn't give for a second, resisting for half a moment before loosening to let her go.
Emma untangled herself from him, feeling the cool air of the island rush to every part of her that had been wrapped in his warmth, chilling her in more ways than just temperature.
Feeling her vulnerability spike, Emma stumbled back a step away from him, hastily wiping the tears from her face, cautiously looking at his.
There was a look in his eyes, some emotion that she couldn't read that seemed to freeze him to the spot. For a long moment, neither of them spoke. She just met his gaze, a million feelings fighting to be voiced, but she didn't let them. Her dam had repaired in those handful of seconds, taped together just well enough to hold.
"We should get back," she found herself whispering, walking past him, careful not to touch him. She didn't hear him move for a moment, then his footsteps followed, and she felt him hover closely at her back.
Some emotion was filling her chest, but she couldn't place it, and she attempted to shove it back down.
It was only then she realized what it was.
The burning in her eyes was suddenly back full force.
"It's how you know you've really got a home. When you leave it, there's this feeling you can't shake. You just miss it."
The ghost of Hook's embrace fell around her shoulders, making her shiver.
And with a brand new sort of fear…
She realized she missed it.