Disclaimer: I do not own any of the material appearing in this story.
"Hey. Hey! Wake up! Wake up! We arrived at Rogueport!"
"Huh…?" Sora wondered as he got up and stretched. "Oh, must have dozed off…" He said as he noticed Mario waking up too, but Luigi was passed out.
"Mmm… guess it's time we oughta move." Mario said and then noticed Luigi still asleep. "Come on, Weeg. Wake up."
"Zzzz… mama mia… zzzz…"
Mario rolled his eyes and picked up Luigi, putting him over his shoulders as they walked outside… and were met with an unpleasant sight.
"Wow… this place is a dump." Sora said.
"You said it." Mario agreed.
"Zzz… no thank you, that's too much salt on my breadsticks… zzz…"
Salty breadsticks? Sora raised an eyebrow as they walked around the pier.
"AIYEEEEEEEEEE! STAY AWAY FROM ME, YA FREAK!"
BGM: Danger! (Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door)
The duo would turn their heads and see a pink Goomba running away from a caped man with a few henchmen. "What the?" Sora wondered.
"Now why would you run away from us? We promise we won't hurt you if you just hand over that map."
"Dude, I have NO idea what you're talking about! I don't have it!"
"Don't lie, we know you have it. So hand it over nice and easy…"
"I don't even have it! What's your deal!"
"If you don't give it to us, then we'll just have to take it from you by force."
"Hey, what's going on here!" Sora called out as he and Mario (And a sleepy Luigi) ran over to them.
"Oh!" The pink Goomba ran over to them. "Yeah, I'd rather hang out with THESE three instead of you, pal!"
"Buh huh huh huh! You think you can just butt in just like that? Well, guess what? That ain't gonna happen! Good ol' Lord Crump will knock your block off!" He said. "…However, it's three against one. Two, if you count that sleeping bonehead on your back."
"Zzzz… I don't want to be boned by Cubone… zzzz…"
Mario sweatdropped. "Be right back." He said, jumping over and setting Luigi down on the railing gently, then he jumped back in. "Alright, let's-a go!"
"We need to even the odds." Crump turned around. "HEY THUNDERBOLT, GET OVER HERE!" He yelled as a masked individual jumped off a ledge and landed next to Crump. Thunderbolt had a dark black helmet as the outfit consisted of a pink jumpsuit with a red cape.
"Well, this evens the odds a bit." Sora said, summoning his Kingdom Key. "Thunderbolt, is it?" He asked as Thunderbolt said nothing but pulled out a sword.
"I'll handle the other guy." Mario said, getting in a fighting stance.
"Buh huh huh huh!" Crump chuckled as a crowd gathered around. "LET'S ROCK AND ROLL!"
End BGM
BGM: Let the Battles Begin! (Final Fantasy VII Remake)
Thunderbolt rushed at Sora and slashed him a few times but Sora would quickly block the attacks and parried where he would use Ars Arcanum on Thunderbolt, knocking the masked crusader away. Thunderbolt responded by raising the sword up in the air and shot out a lightning bolt from the sky, hitting Sora head on.
"Mmmph!" Sora winced as Thunderbolt then ran over and slashed the stunned Keyblade Wielder and knocked him away. Sora recovered right after. "Alright, so you got a few tricks!" He said, smirking a bit as he Airstepped toward Thunderbolt. "So do I!" He said, using Aerial Slam on Thunderbolt and then used Triple Firaga.
Mario, meanwhile, blocked a punch with his fist. "Buh wha…?!" Crump said in surprise as Mario's other fist burst into flames as he unleashed a fiery uppercut that knocked Crump into the air as he pulled out his hammer, the hammer bursting into flames as he hammered Crump to the ground.
"Rrrgh!" Crump rushed over to Mario and body slammed him, but Mario gracefully backflipped. "If I didn't know any better, that chubbiness is a big fat lie!" He said as Mario responded by a fiery right hook that knocked him into Thunderbolt, knocking them both down.
"I'm just very athletic." Mario said with a grin.
End BGM
"Rrrgh! Alright, you think you've won? Guess again!" Crump yelled. "X-NAAAAUTS!" He ordered as an army of X-Nauts surrounded the pair.
"Zzz… wha…?" Luigi woke up yawning. "How did I get-… WHAT THE HECK?!"
"PUNISH THEM!"
The X-Nauts all dog piled on everyone, or at least they thought they would have, hadn't Sora used Stopga on them. "Come on, let's go around them!" Sora said as the four of them took off straight for Rogueport Square, and then the Stopga spell dissipated as the X-Nauts all piled on each other with no one underneath.
"Huh?!" Crump looked around. "Where'd they-… HEY! Did any of you see them leave? You, Johnson! Where did they all go?"
"No idea!"
"Sorry, we don't know."
"Mmmph! Can someone get off of me! Their foot is in my face!"
Crump sweatdropped. "Ah crud… they bolted…"
"That spiky haired individual…" Thunderbolt spoke up, seeming to have a masculine voice. "He's a Keyblade Wielder."
"Keyblade? What's a Keyblade?"
At Rogueport Square…
BGM: Rogueport (Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door)
"Hoo, that was quite eventful!" The pink Goomba said.
"I swear, I missed something…" Luigi mumbled.
"What was that all about?" Sora wondered.
"Oh, ya know, something about a treasure map… I kept telling them that I didn't have it, but did he wanna listen? Nooooo!"
"Don't we have a map?" Luigi asked.
"We do." Mario nodded.
"Huh?! What you talkin' about?" She wondered as Mario pulled out a map. "AAAAH! That's the map that they were looking for! An ancient treasure map!" She exclaimed. "…Who are you people?"
"I'm-a Mario and this is my bro, Luigi!"
"Hello!"
"And I'm So-"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAH! MARIO AND LUIGI?! THE FAMOUS MARIO BROS?! OH MY GOSH, I DIDN'T REALIZE I WAS IN THE PRESENCE OF CELEBRITIES!"
"-…Ra."
"Sorry, sorry, big fan! So anyway, name's Goombella! What are you guys doing out here in this dump of a town anyway?"
"Great hoggly boggly, if it isn't Masters Mario and Luigi!" A voice said as Toadsworth approached them. "I say, what brings you here to Rogueport?"
"We're looking for Peach. Have you seen her?" Mario asked.
"Unfortunately, no. I take my eyes off of her for a second and the moment I turn around after getting us checked in at the inn, she was nowhere to be found. Perhaps she decided to take a walk around this town. I must say though, there are a few rapscallions that made me nervous… rumor has it that this town is in the midst of a gang war."
"G-G-G-Gang war?!" Luigi paled at the thought, as Mario glanced over and saw two Piantas beating up two individuals.
"Da boss sends his regards!" The Pianta said as they took off.
"Oooogh, we won't forget thiiiis… oooof…"
"Come on, let's get you patched up! You look like you're concussed!"
"…I'd believe it." Mario said.
Yikes… Sora thought.
"Well, we'll go find Peach. She shouldn't be that Mario."
"Excellent! I'm sure you and Master Luigi will be able to find her. Oh, before I forget, she was with this one young lady. I think her name was Kairi."
"KAIRI?!" Sora spoke up. "You met her?!"
"Indeed! She apparently had this itch for adventure… so perhaps she went exploring with the princess. By the way, young man, what is your name?"
"Sora."
"Well, Master Sora! Here's hoping you can find your friend! She's probably with the princess. They more than likely got distracted by something. But anyway, if you're ever feeling tired… just drop on inn! Hohohoho! Good day, masters!" He said as he walked off.
"Peach? As in Princess Peach? Oh my goodness, this is totally cool!" Goombella exclaimed. "…Hmm, looking at that map, I totally know where to go! I originally came here to visit Professor Frankly, so perhaps we ought to go visit him. The problem is… I have no idea where he's at."
"Well, we'll just have to go and find him then." Mario said with them nodding as they split up.
"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!" A voice yelled, stopping Luigi in his tracks.
"Wah! What's going on?" Luigi asked.
"I dropped my contact lens! It's got to be here somewhere! If you make any sudden movements, you'll probably crush it."
"Oh, mind if I help you look?" Luigi offered as he knelt down and crawled around the ground. "It's got to be here somewhere."
"Hmm… did I drop it right here?" The woman wondered as she walked in one direction.
Crack!
"…Please tell me that was a shard of glass…" She groaned as she lifted her foot… and the remains of a contact lens dropped to the ground.
"Oh!" Luigi exclaimed. "Found it!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" She yelled, catching the attention of Mario, Sora and Goombella. "YOU IMBECILE!" She started shaking Luigi like crazy. "YOU BROKE MY CONTACT LENS!"
"Waaaaah! It wasn't meeeeee! You walked on iiiiiiiiiit!"
"BUT YOU MADE ME WALK ON IT WITH WHATEVER KIND OF SUBLIMINAL THING YOU'VE DONE, YOU CLUMSY BARBARIAN!"
"What's going on?" Mario asked.
"THIS OAF MADE ME STEP ON MY CONTACT LENS!"
"I didn't do anything, I swear!" Luigi promised.
"OH, YOU WILL REGRET THIS! YOU OWE ME A NEW PAIR OF CONTACT LENS!" She then walked over to the western gate. "And because of your actions, I will deny entry! No one goes in and no one goes out until I get a new pair of contact lens and that's final!"
"Gatekeeping?! I knew this town sucks but WHAT?" Goombella said in disbelief.
Sora walked over to the woman. "Look, lady… it was an acccident that you caused. So perhaps you should re… con… sider…" Sora trailed off, deciding to measure himself compared to the old crone. He raised an eyebrow before grinning cheekily as he picked her up.
"HEY! HEY! PUT ME DOWN! PUT ME DOWN!" She yelled as Sora moved her to the side and motioned the Bros and Goombella to follow him as they walked into the West side of Rogueport. "Hey! HEY! YOU GET BACK HERE!" She yelled. "Ooooh! Fine then, you're not coming back in to the main square of-" She was then picked up again and Sora set her down once the Bros and Goombella walked through.
"Nope, they weren't there. That was a nice looking train though." Sora said.
"Come on, maybe we can get her a new pair in the shop." Mario said as they walked in. "Excuse us! We need an item."
"Oh? Whatever do you need, kupo?" A Moogle shop owner asked.
"Yeah, we need some contact lens." Sora responded.
The Moogle sweatdropped. "Did the old crone lose her contact lens again, kupo? That's the fifth time this week, kupo!"
"This is a regular occurence?!" Luigi said in surprise. "…And she called me clumsy."
"At this rate, we need to order her some special glasses that always sticks on to her and never breaks, kupo. That will take a while to get here, so just ignore Zess T. for now, kupo."
"Got it." Mario nodded as they walked off.
"Well, now I don't feel so bad…" Luigi said, sighing in relief as they walked into the east side of Rogueport when a Bandit bumped past them, causing Luigi to spin. "WAAAAAH!"
"Oooops, sorry sucker! Hehehe!"
"…Why do I feel lighter… AH, MY WALLET!" Luigi yelled as Sora immediately sprang into action by using Magnega to pull the Bandit to them… and when he got closer, Sora proceeded to clothesline him.
"MMMPH!" The Bandit groaned, falling unconscious as Luigi picked up his wallet.
"That'll teach ya." Luigi said with a grin.
"Ugh, pickpocketing… I hate this town." Goombella mumbled. "Now then… I think the professor should be… in here." She said, knocking on the door.
"Yes, come in." A voice said as they opened up the door to reveal an old Goomba.
End BGM
"Hi professor Frankly!" Goombella waved… well, if Goombas can wave, that is.
BGM: Professor Frankly (Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door)
"Hmm? Wuzzat? Who are you?" He asked as the group approached him. "Wait… let me get a good look at you… you're… not Goombriella… you're not Goombaria, you're not Goomaren… hmm… Hmmmm! Aha! You're Goombella!"
"That's right!" Took you long enough. "I graduated from the University of Goom. Gooooo Goombas!"
"Yes yes, I never forget a face. And these three are…?"
"Mario!"
"Luigi!"
"Sora!"
"…Who?" He asked as the three anime fell.
"Professor! These are the Mario Bros! …It does make sense you don't know this Sora guy."
"…Wait, why did I pratfall?" Sora wondered as he dusted himself off.
"My apologies, I'm kinda getting on in years. So what can I do for ya lads?"
"Ah, well, you see, professor… we have a problem. You see, I was jumped on by these goons and then these three came in to save me-… okay, that's a lie, two of them saved me. One was sleeping." Luigi whistled innocently from this. "And then, on top of that, I find out that these two have a map! Possibly the map. THE magical map."
"Wha?! Let me take a look at this!" Frankly requested as Mario handed it over. "AHA! So it is! It is the magical map! The one that leads to the Thousand Year Door!"
"…Thousand… what now?" Sora blinked.
"Ah, yes, I'm not surprised you haven't heard of it. It is a legend from long ago! Rumor has it that it's beneath this very town! Perhaps we should go take a look and investigate."
"Are you sure it's possibly down there?" Goombella asked.
"Positive! Let's go take a look." Frankly said as they walked out, where the professor would open up a gate. "Over here, friends! There's a Warp Pipe that takes us straight to the sewers!"
End BGM
"Alright!" Luigi said as they walked over to the Warp Pipe.
"I do have to warn you, there are possible monsters down here that can knock you senseless… however, I'm sure you'll be fine so go right on in!" He said as they jumped in.
BGM: Rogueport Sewers (Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door)
Mario and Luigi came out of the warp pipe. "Oooh, not a bad looking area." Mario said.
"Eh, it kinda stinks a bit." Luigi said, waving his hand.
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" They both heard Sora screaming as he shot out of the Warp Pipe and slammed into a wall.
"Ooooh!" Both bros winced as Sora let out a groan, stars circling above his head.
"I'm okaaaaay.." He mumbled as he got up, shaking it off while the two Goombas popped out.
"Alright, if I'm not mistaken, we should be going this way." Frankly said as they started walking.
"Heeeey! What's a good lookin' Goomba like you doing in a place like this?" A voice asked as three Goombas approached them. One was a regular Goomba, another was a Paragoomba, and the third one was a Spiked Goomba.
"Goodness, it's the whole Goomba family tree!" Frankly said.
"What's a cute dame like you doing with these individuals? How's about you come along with some real men. We'll play real niiiiice." The Goomba flirted.
"Oh wow, that is so generous of you… generously DISGUSTING. Ew! I'd rather NOT be with creeps like you!"
"Oooh, shot down." The Paragoomba said.
"Alright, if you won't accept our offer, we'll just take you by force! You three better watch out because we're coming right for ya!" The Goomba exclaimed as they charged at them, only for Mario, Luigi and Sora to glance at each other and with a nod…
POW!
BAP!
BAM!
"Oooogh…" The Goomba groaned, all three of them knocked out.
"That's pathetic." Sora said.
"Yup. They usually are." Mario nodded as they proceeded to go into the Warp Pipe where they would knock out a few more Goombas that got in thier way before making their way into the third area, a small creature spotting them and running into a hole as they kept going, taking out a few Spinias that decided to spin toward them before they walked up some stairs and wandered into a room where a black chest awaited them.
"A black chest?" Luigi wondered.
"Wonder what's inside?" Mario wondered as well.
"Whoa whoa heeeey! I hear voices! I'm inside this chest! Some bonehead decided it'd be a fun prank to toss me in here and called it a day! Ugh… hey listen, if you'd be a pal and get me out of here, I'll reward ya handsomely!"
"I dunno about this… something feels off about this… chest." Frankly said.
"I'm completely innocent, I swear! Look, all you gotta do is find the key and you can bust me out of here!"
"…Oh, I actually have something that might help." Sora said, summoning the Kingdom Key and fired a beam of light at the treasure chest, where they heard an unlocking sound. "There we go."
"Huh, that works!" Luigi said.
End BGM
"That was easier than I thought…" The voice deadpanned. "Well in any case… thank… HA! THANK NOTHING!" Suddenly, the area got dark and enveloped Sora and the Bros. "WEHEHEHEHEHE! FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLS!"
BGM: Curse of the Black Chest (Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door)
Yellow sinister eyes and a mouth appeared before the trio. "Man, you should see the looks on your faces! You think you were saving an innocent person? THINK AGAIN, MORONS! And because of you… you are going to be cursed!"
"Cursed?!" Luigi paled.
"Yes! CURSED! OOOGLY WOOGLY WOOOOOOOOO! YOU'RE CURSED!" He yelled as they were enveloped in flashing lights. "Weehehehe! Do you wanna know the extent of this curse? Of course you do! For the red man, I cursed you the ability to manipulate fire!"
"Manipulate fire…? But I already have the Fire Brand."
"Yes, but now you can be enveloped in fire! You'll be burning to a crisp! WEHEHEHEHE! Now for the green guy… I cursed you with electricity!"
"…Uh, hello? I already have the Thunder Hand!"
"Like with the red guy, you can be enveloped in electricity! It also comes with glowing eyes from the both of ya! Imagine the sheer look of horror as your eyes glow with regret that you "saved" me from that chest! And as for the anime boy-"
"Anime… boy?" Sora raised an eyebrow.
"I CURSED YOU WITH A NEW FORM! TREMBLE AS YOU ARE CURSED TO WEAR RED FOR ALL ETERNITY! WEEHEHEHEHE-"
"Oh sweet, Valor form! I missed this." Sora said, checking himself out. "…You call this a curse? I call it sweet new power ups."
"FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLS! IT IS A CURSE! THIS IS NO POWER UP! YOU ARE CURSED WITH THIS FOREVER! WEHEHEHEHE! SO LONG, FOOOOOLS!" He said and then disappeared, and then the darkness disappeared.
End BGM
"Uh… what was that guy's beef?" Goombella wondered.
"He should take up theatre. That was unexpectedly dramatic." Frankly deadpanned as Sora went back to his usual self while the Bros looked at each other while shrugging as they wandered off and then they jumped on over across a gap, though the Bros picked up the Goombas and jumped to the other side, and then they walked into the next room.
"Whooooooa! That's a big door!" Sora said in surprise.
"Mama mia…" The bros said in awe.
"That… my friends… is the Thousand Year Door." Frankly said.
BGM: Hall of the Thousand Year Door (Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door)
"It's… bigger than I thought it'd be." Goombella said as they approached the door.
And I thought the doors at Disney Castle were huge. Sora thought.
"Hmm… I should definitely take a picture of this." Luigi said. "…Wait, I think I left the camera at home. Crud."
"Ah, I'm sure we'll be fine." Mario said as he walked over to the pedestal. "Hmm?" He wondered as he curiously stepped on it, and right on cue, the area around him started to glow.
End BGM
"Bro, what did you do?" Luigi asked.
"I'm not sure!" Mario said, when suddenly the map in his pocket came out and started rising up on its own, beginning to glow brightly as a beam of light came down on top of the map as they were all enveloped in light… then the light disappeared as the map came down into Mario's hands as they all decided to look at it, and to their surprise, a castle popped up on the map.
"What the…?" Luigi wondered.
"What the heck?!" Sora said in surprise.
"Whoa…" Mario whispered.
"Professor… what does this mean?" Goombella asked.
"It means we must investigate this in my office. Come!"
Once at Professor Frankly's…
BGM: Professor Frankly
"Just as I thought!" Frankly said. "This right here… is the location of a Crystal Star!"
"Crystal Star?" Sora wondered.
"Indeed! These Crystal Stars are imbued with incredible power and I've a feeling that collecting these stars will open the seal of the Thousand Year Door."
"I dunno… something feels off about this door…" Luigi said. "It could be a large monster awaiting behind it."
"Nah, I doubt it." Mario said.
"Yeah, there could be treasure in that door!"
"Guarded by a monster." Luigi added.
"Eh, doubtful." Sora shrugged.
"So where's this Crystal Star?" Mario asked.
"It is located in Petal Meadows. This castle might be a clue to where it's at." Frankly said. "Now then, on the way back, you were saying you got this map from Princess Peach. She wouldn't have happened to be blonde and wearing a pink dress, would she?"
"That's right." Mario nodded.
"AHA! SO IT WAS HER! I couldn't help but notice that she and a friend of hers were in the midst of a conversation, then they ended up disappearing when I turned my back on them for a second! Perhaps they got excited and look for this treasure themselves. Although, the fact that you mentioned some goons were nearby does raise concern… perhaps they got caught? Or perhaps they're being followed… but in any case, I suggest you go find them ASAP."
"Will do!" Sora smiled.
"You boys go on ahead." Goombella spoke up. "I'm gonna stay here and help the professor out."
"Oh, thank you, Goombella."
"Alright, let's-a go!" Mario said as the two nodded and they went back underground.
End BGM
The three came out of the Warp Pipe, Sora managing to catch himself this time as they hurried over to the east, having seen a pathway they've seen earlier as they jumped across and landed on the other side, where they would see a Warp Pipe in the distance… and a tentacle on the ground.
"Ew…" Luigi said as he decided to hammer it away. "There we go, now we can-"
"BLOOP! BLOOOOOOP!" A voice cried as suddenly a large Blooper launched out of the water.
BGM: Vs Boss (Super Mario Sunshine)
"Waaaah!" Luigi yelped. "It wasn't me! It was probably debris from the ceiling!" He lied, but the Blooper narrowed its eyes at the plumber and attempted to squirt him with ink, but Luigi rolled out of the way as Sora would use Strike Raid on the Blooper. It responded by attempting to thwack him with its tentacles but he batted them away as Mario would threw a few fireballs at the Blooper.
"…Wait a minute! He's probably still wet!" Luigi said as his eyes glowed, activating his Thunder Hand as he started to fire electricity at it.
"BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!" The Blooper cried, falling into the water in a daze and sunk.
End BGM
"Nice one, bro!" Mario praised.
"Aww… thanks!" Luigi blushed as platforms rose up from the water as they hopped across the platforms and then one by one, the three of them hopped inside the Warp Pipe heading for Petal Meadows.
If i'm not cringing over my writing on the old story, it's me cringing over the chapter lengths. Four chapters in Rogueport before getting to Petal Meadows? Good grief...