Disclaimer: I do not own any of the material appearing in this story.

"Beldam… I have to say, I am very disappointed in you." Grodus said. "Not only did your sister betray you for unknown reasons, but she proceeded to absolutely destroy the both of you with Pokemon. If that isn't the least bit humiliating, I'm not sure what is."

"We were blindsided, admittedly…" Beldam said.

"Right right…" Grodus rolled his eyes. "So tell me, how are you going to defeat the heroes this time around?"

Beldam smirked. "Well, we do have this idea where-"

A video screen popped up in front of them. "Lord Grodus, sir! Thunderbolt has returned."

"Good, send her in." Grodus requested as Thunderbolt walked in. "Ah, Thunderbolt! So good to see you. …What happened to your mask?"

"Glitzville happened." She said. "I snagged the Crystal Star but I was surrounded by about twenty or so fighters, especially those heroes. Then before I knew it, I was unmasked by none other than the Phantom Thieves."

"THE PHANTOM THIEVES?!" A few X-Nauts yelled.

"G-good l-lord…!" Grodus said, trying to compose himself. "The Phantom Thieves are real? I thought they were just a myth!" He said. "This isn't good… the last thing we need are a couple of teenagers snooping around!"

"I unfortunately come empty handed… however, I've picked up on where the next Crystal Star is located. It's in a place called Twilight Town."

"Excellent. See to it that you get it before those heroes and possibly the Phantom Thieves, Thunderbolt."

"Understood." She said and walked off. "…Oh… and it's Lightning." She told him and disappeared into the hallway.

"I know that, but Lightning just doesn't strike fear in people's hearts." Grodus said. "Now Thunderbolt… on the other hand…"

"We will go to Twilight Town as well. We will ambush them with our new secret weapon we developed… and not even that traitorous Vivian will be left standing!" Beldam said.

"See to it that you do, Beldam." Grodus ordered as the two Shadow Sirens sunk underground. "Phantom Thieves… good heavens, I never thought they were nothing more than a reality…"

Meanwhile…

BGM: Peach's Theme (Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door)

"Ugh… no card games in here or anything?" Peach asked, looking through lockers. "No books, no TV, no movies… no board games! Gaaaah… at least do something to keep your prisoners entertained! Ugh… at least the Koopa Troop kept me entertained."

"Okay okay, I got a good one here!" A Hammer Bro said, slapping down a card. "Luigi and Daisy are known to blank."

"Do the nasty!" A Sledge Bro put a card down.

"Spoon each other in bed!" A Boomerang Bro put his card down.

"Test each other's fuel pumps~" Peach said, putting hers down.

"Ooooh, spiiiicy!" A Hammer Bro grinned. "Nice one, princess!"

"Uh… hug each other!" Junior said, putting his card down.

Peach giggled. "Ah… Cards Against Koopas… truly a fun time." She said.

"Cards Against… what now?" Kairi raised an eyebrow.

"Oh! I'm gonna have to show you when we get out of here. Though fair warning, it's not for the faint of heart."

Kairi sweatdropped. "I see." She said and then the doors opened. "Oh, wonder what TEC wants."

"Let's go check it out!" Peach said as they walked through the hallway.

End BGM

"Hey TEC! What seems to be happening this time?" Peach asked.

"I'm… conflicted."

"Oh?" Kairi raised an eyebrow. "A computer is conflicted… that's a new one."

"It's just that do I continue serving Grodus or do I want to continue helping you out… it's conflicting."

"…Uh, you okay?" Peach asked.

"Never mind. I need you to do something for me."

"And that would be?" Kairi asked.

"I need you to go talk to Grodus."

"WHAT?!" They yelled.

"Before you ask, no, I am not crazy."

"Okay, how are we going to pull that off?" Kairi asked.

"There is a changing room a few floors from here. You'll have to take an elevator and make a right. First door you'll see."

"Alright, if you say so." Kairi nodded as they walked away, as the elevator door opened up right on cue. "Oh!"

"Guess this must be it." Peach said as they walked in and went up a few floors.

"Hold it. There's a few X-Nauts walking by." TEC warned as a few X-Nauts walked by without a care in the world. "Alright, the coast is clear. Now go into the first door on the right."

"Got it." Kairi nodded as they walked through the doorway after getting out of the elevator and found themselves in a locker room.

"Okaaaaay… what are we supposed to do here?" Peach wondered as they wandered to the lockers and opened them up to discover two X-Naut costumes. "…TEC, you can't be serious."

"I am."

"Oh joy…" Peach sweatdropped as she picked one up and accidentally got a whiff of its scent. "Whoof…!" She grunted, pulling out a bottle of air freshener and spraying it thoroughly, then did the same with Kairi's as they walked into the changing room shortly after.

"Mmph! Uuungh! Why is this so…!" Kairi grunted. "Come on!"

"I know I can be nimble, but… for heaven's sake!" Peach complained as they eventually got the costumes on and they walked on. "Ooof… I feel like I'm cramping already…"

"I feel… awkward." Kairi mumbled.

"Grodus's room is just ahead."

"Alright… if you say so." Peach said as they walked out of the room where they would run into a PhD X-Naut.

"Wait… both of you smell… different." He said. "…Perfume?"

"What! Never seen a guy wear perfume?" Peach "gruffly" asked, sounding like she was offended. "How dare you!" She said, slapping him on the cheek.

"Ooof!"

"Hmph! The nerve." Peach said and walked off with Kairi walking alongside her.

"Yeesh… I wasn't even judging… although, that slap felt dainty… eh, probably my imagination."

"So uh… how was my gruff voice?" Peach asked.

"…It was, eh… interesting?"

"Yeah… it could use some work." Peach sweatdropped as they walked into Grodus's room.

"Yo! Grodus dude!" Kairi said.

"Hmm?" Grodus turned his head. "…What is it, minions?"

"Uh… we were wondering what you had in store for Peach and Kairi." Peach said.

"That doesn't matter. Keep them locked up until we are good and ready for world domination. Those two are key."

"Why are they key? Why not just kidnap the one?" Kairi suggested.

"Because the other was a witness and she must be held hostage so nothing can get leaked out."

"…Really? That's the first time I've heard of that reasoning." TEC quietly mused.

OH, OKAY! Kairi thought, fuming with anger.

"…By the way, what is that smell? I swear I smell perfume!"

"Uh… we'll be going now!" Peach said as she and Kairi took off.

"Mmm… must have been my imagination."

The two "X-Nauts" walked back to the locker room, noticing Lightning walking by but they didn't pay much mind to her as they waked in. "Hmm…" Lightning narrowed her eyes suspiciously at the two.

"Un… freakin… believable!" Kairi exclaimed. "I'm just a plus one just so I won't leak out info on these jerks!" She said, ripping off the costume while Peach took hers off.

"World domination… that's so cliche…" Peach said with a sigh. "TEC… if you can hear me, you're horrible!"

"I was designed by Grodus, it's not exactly my fault."

"Guilty by association, though!" Peach pointed out.

"Rrrgh… being a plus one…" Kairi grumbled as she walked out of the changing room with Peach. "I hate it! I feel like I just want to punch something and just… just… GAAAAAH!"

"Easy… easy!" Peach put her hands on her shoulders. "Deep breath… deep breath now." She said as Kairi took a deep breath. "There… better?"

"Kinda…" Kairi muttered a bit.

Peach smiled. "Good enough. Now come on, let's-"

"And just what do you think you're doing?" A voice asked as the two turned to see Lightning with her gunblade out.

"Uh… who are you?" Kairi asked. "…Wait, you're with that Grodus freak, aren't you?"

"Yes… and you two shouldn't be here." Lightning said. "I'm not sure how you got out of your room, but if you come quietly-"

"Quietly? After what we just heard about "world domination"?" Peach rolled her eyes. "Sorry chicka, but we don't do "quiet"."

BGM: Blinded by Light (Final Fantasy XIII)

"Hmph… then I guess I'll have to take you by force." Lightning said, getting in a stance and charging at Peach, but Kairi would get in the way and summoned Destiny's Embrace, swiftly blocking and parrying Lightning's attacks.

"Not happening." Kairi said as Lightning would aim and launch a Firaga from her gunblade, but Kairi deflected it as Lightning lunged at her, both of them clashing their blades. Kairi would get a closer look at her eyes, seeing that they were blank.

Blank eyes? Kairi thought as Lightning would parry Kairi and then knee'd her in the gut and flip kicked her, making her back up as Kairi snapped out of it and narrowly dodged a Blizzaga attack as she used Thundaga on her but Lightning jumped to the side as the two lunged at each other and clashed, quickly slashing at each other.

Lightning would kick Kairi in the shin, making her fall on her knee as she would aim the gunblade at Kairi's face. "It's over." She said, charging up a spell.

POW!

…Until a frying pan hit her in the head.

End BGM

"Nnngh!" Lightning grunted before collapsing.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Did I interrupt?" Peach giggled, putting her frying pan away and helped Kairi up.

"Her eyes are blank… she's probably brainwashed." Kairi said.

"Oh, is that right?" Peach grabbed Lightning's legs. "Come on, we're taking her with us."

"You sure?"

"Yeah! Grab her arms."

With a nod, Kairi grabbed her arms as they would carry her outside… and then they would run into an X-Naut. "Oh!" Kairi said.

"Oh uh… hi!" Peach smiled.

"…Why are you prisoners carrying Thunderbolt?"

"Uh… she was drunk! Waaaaay too many hard Chuckola Colas." Peach said.

"…Uh-huh… just how dumb do you think I am?"

Crap… think, Peach… think! She thought to herself and then an idea came to her. "Oh look! There's a sexy poster of Princess Zelda behind you!"

"Ha! You think that'll work?"

Oh, I see what you're doing… Kairi thought. "Princess Zelda is in a bikini though! A very skimpy one."

The X-Naut started sweating. "Uh… what… what kind of bikini?"

Peach smiled. "Purple! And it's small enough to where you can see the underside of her breasts~"

"I… I… I… oooh…"

Kairi smiled cheekily. "And it looks like she's about to take off that bikini top~"

"AAAAAAAAAH!" The X-Naut turned around. "LOVE ME, PRINCESS ZEL-" He saw a blank wall. "-Da… heeey, there's no sexy Princess Zelda poster!" He turned to the ground. "What fool do you take-" He noticed that they were long gone. "…Ah crud." He groaned.

Meanwhile, with Bowser's Squad…

"Holy smokes! What happened here?" Kamek wondered as they stared at the remains of the Boggly Tree.

"Looks like a bomb went off…" General Guy mused.

"Yeah, looks like it." Red said as Xigbar walked into the remains to get a better look.

"Hmm… doesn't look like there's any survivors." Xigbar said. "And if there were, they'd be lucky."

"Eh, probably no treasure here." Junior said.

"Wonder how the other team is holding up." Black wondered.

At Flurrie's house…

"Gah! This house is infested with rodents!" Bowser exclaimed, seeing that Flurrie's house was crawling with Punies.

"Good heavens, I've seen a Scaredy Rat infestation in my day but I've never seen anything like this!" Kammy said.

"So what do we do?" Goomp asked.

"Simple. We call pest control." Sergeant Guy said.

"I think that'll take too long." Paraplonk pointed out.

"Exactly." Bowser smirked as his flames started to come out at the sides of his mouth. "We'll just burn 'em!"

"…Elder! We got a situation!"

"I see that. Punio!"

"On it!" Punio nodded. "Puni squad! Form up!" He said as they went into formation.

"Ha! That's adorable. TAKE THIIIIS!"

Meanwhile…

"Oh, I'm sure the little darlings will love this new recipe." Flurrie said.

BOOM!

"What the?" Flurrie wondered as she looked up and saw Bowser's team flying straight for the Boggly Tree. "Oh dear, it looks like I missed something extraordinary!"

At the crash site…

"Papa! You okay?" Junior asked.

"Hack! Plepth…" Bowser groaned as everyone else was down and out. "Ugh… I hate rodents…"

With Riku's group…

The ship docked near Plumpbelly Village as the trio walked off the ship. "Okay… it's got to be here somewhere…" Riku said.

"Hold on. Is it just me or is the atmosphere here… dreary?" Blooey wondered.

"No, you're definitely right. Something's off about this place." Namine said. "Riku?"

"Yeah." Riku nodded, summoning his weapon. "I don't like it." He said as they wandered around the village, keeping their eyes peeled for anything out of the ordinary.

"…Oh, hello." A voice said as the group turned to a cherry Bob-omb. "Welcome to our village."

"Uh, hi… what's going on here?" Blooey asked.

"Oh, our town is plagued by this creature called Hizza. In order to keep our town safe, we have to sacrifice our maidens and dress them up as brides in order to appease him… our mayor is at his wits end because of it."

"Well, that's unfortunate." Namine said. "Perhaps we can try to get rid of the problem."

"Yeah, but how do we do it?" Blooey wondered.

"Hmm… perhaps we can send in a decoy bride?" Riku suggested.

"Oooh!" The Cherry Bob-omb perked up. "Yes, that can work! But who would bravely volunteer for such a feat?"

"Not it!" Blooey and Namine said at the same time.

"Why, it's simple. Namine can-… wait, what?" Riku turned his head in surprise.

"Heeeey! We have our brave volunteer!" Blooey said.

Namine raised Riku's arm up. "Riku volunteers as tribute!"

"Wait, what?" Riku repeated.

"Hey everyone in this village! Riku is gonna dress up as a bride to conquer Hizza!" Blooey called out.

"He is?!"

"Oh my stars!"

"Our hero!"

"Quick! What size is he? XL? XXL? I wanna know!"

"Wait, what?"

A few minutes later…

"I'm… not sure how this just happened." The Cherry Bob-omb said. "By the way, name's Jerry."

The mayor stepped up front. "Ladies and gentleman… here comes the bride!" He exclaimed as Riku walked up front, wearing a wedding gown, make up, and most important of all… high heels.

"Oh. My. Word." Jerry said. "…I… I've gone blind…"

Blooey whistled. "Ten out of ten! That's one smokin' hot bride!"

"Wait, I gotta draw this!" Namine said, pulling out her notepad and quickly sketched Riku in his outfit.

"Kill. Me. Now." Riku growled, being somewhat thankful that Ansem was no longer haunting him, although he could just picture him making fun of the poor guy.

"Aaaand done!" Namine smiled and then smirked wickedly. "Now… let's add the cherry on top." She said, readying to snap her fingers.

"Namine… don't you DARE."

"Sorry bud… but everyone's gotta see how beautiful you look!" Namine said, snapping her fingers.

With Sora's group…

"Alright, that makes three Crystal Sta-… PFFFFT! HAHAHAHA!" Sora started laughing as Namine's sketch entered his mind.

"Huh?" Luigi turned his head to the others, who simply shrugged over the ordeal while Sora fell on his back and continued to laugh hysterically.

Peach and Kairi…

"And another thing, TEC!" Peach continued. "It's one thing to-" She was interrupted by Kairi's giggling. "To… to… tooooo…? Kairi, what's so funny?"

"It's… it's complicated! Pffft!" Kairi giggled, trying her best to compose herself but failing.

Disney Castle…

"My word, what's gotten into those two?" Minnie wondered, watching Donald and Goofy laughing hysterically on the ground, the former pounding the floor as well.

"You…" Mickey had a horrified look on his face. "You don't want to know…"

Sea Salt Trio (Plus Isa)…

"And so I said to the guy if he even thinks about stepping out of line, I'm gonna burn the hairs off of his chest." Lea said.

"Whoa…" Xion said.

"I know! It's crazy." Lea said.

"Fascinating…" Isa nodded as he took a bite of the Sea Salt Ice Cream… and then heard his friends started laughing hysterically. "Hmm?" He wondered. "…Personally, I don't see anything funny about a man dressed up in a wedding gown." He then let out an amused chuckle. "…Okay, maybe it's a little funny."

Wayfinder Trio…

"…I am going to have a serious talk with him." Terra said, while Ven was laughing like crazy.

"Good." Aqua nodded. "I think Riku needs it."

"Obviously. Seriously, I think I can pull it off better than he can!" He said, causing Aqua to facepalm.

"Never mind…"

Back with them…

Riku gave Namine a disgusted glare. "Ugh… of course you would…"

"Now everyone knows how cute you look!"

"I don't want to look cute!" Riku said as he walked off in a huff. "…Ugh, how do people walk in these things… let alone running in high heels while being chased by a T-Rex!" He said.

"Come on, to Hizza!" Blooey said as they took off running with Jerry close behind.

"Good luck, brave heroes!" The mayor saluted.

Once at Hizza's lair…

"Oooh, is that Hizza?" Blooey asked.

"That's him alright…" Jerry nodded.

"Alright, go get 'em, hot stuff!" Namine grinned.

"…You're enjoying this way too much." Riku said as he walked into the lair.

"Aaaah, look at thissssss, brother. Another bride!"

"Aha! Thissss one lookssss a little on the manly sssssside."

"But no matter, we will take care of thissss one just like the resssssst of the bridessssss."

"I'll have you know… I'm no ordinary bride." Riku said. What am I EVEN saying? He thought as he summoned his weapon.

"Ooooh, a bride who can fight? Thissss is amussssing."

"You don't ssssscare usssss."

"NOW!" Riku yelled as suddenly Blooey came charging ahead and smacked Hizza on the forehead and then was pelted with Balloonga.

BGM: Shrouding Dark Cloud (Kingdom Hearts III)

"AAAARGH!" Hizza grunted. "You misssserable pesssssts!"

"Time to diiiiie!"

The two heads breathed fire at the group, but they avoided the attacks as Jerry came running in and then exploded on contact, knocking the two headed beast back a few feet as Jerry would jump away and shaking off the soot while Riku would unleash a Dark Firaga on the beast and then jumped out of the way, nearly tripping on his high heels.

"Alright, that tears it." Riku said, taking off the high heels and throwing it at Hizza as they chomped down on the heels before they flanked Riku on both sides and charged right at him, but he backflipped right as Hizza chomped down on himself.

"MMMMPH!" Hizza grunted in pain… and then it crumbled to dust shortly after.

End BGM

"Well, that was anti-climactic." Blooey said.

"True, but the village is safe now." Jerry said as they saw Riku tearing off the wedding dress and wiping the make up from his face.

"Aww, but you looked so pretty…" Namine teased.

"Not… a word." Riku grumbled, noticing a piece of the compass as he would grab a hold of it and placed it in the Marvelous Compass where they would see their next destination.

"Circuitbreak Island? Of all places?" Blooey asked. "Neat!"

"Let's go." Riku said as they walked out of the cave.

"…I think I should go with them, juuuust in case Riku tries to put on another dress." Jerry said and then went off to accompany them.

Normally, when I get hit with a stomach bug, it usually lasts one or two days... not a whole week.

But anyway, i'm baaaaaaaaack!