8. Changes

It was a few days later that I received a note asking me for a meeting at a nearby café. It was not something I was looking forward to, but it was something that I had anticipated for some time, now.

"You wished to see me?" I asked, sitting at a booth in the café. Sitting across from me were Genichiro Kuga and his assistant, Mihara.

"Yes, thank you for agreeing. I have to say, you didn't seem surprised by my request."

"It was not unexpected," I confessed, "Is this the meeting where you offer to pay me to break off my relationship with your daughter?"

He snorted, "Really, Fujino-san, the low opinion you must have of me. Natsuki is willing to forgive me, and I'm making a serious effort to be involved in her life."

"Forgive me," I said, "What, then, is the cause of this meeting?"

"Three reasons, actually. The first is that I just got a phone call from your father absolutely excoriating me for 'wasting my daughter's amazing potential,'" Genichiro Kuga took a sip from his drink, "And it was hard for me to refute the point."

"That," I said, smiling, "seems like the sort of thing you should discuss with Natsuki."

"And I will. But there were two more things I needed to discuss with you. The second is that Alyssa Searrs, my newly adopted daughter, has been using me as a stepping stone, and quietly accumulated contacts and power to seize control of her previous organization, The Searrs Foundation, while my back was turned. She has since tendered her resignation with Kuga Trading. She left a note endorsing her sister, Natsuki, as her successor."

"Still, something that you should discuss with Natsuki and not with me."

He sighed, "You're correct, but the third thing I need to discuss…I don't know how to tell her. Fujino-san…I'm dying."

I closed my eyes, sighing, "I expected you might be. But…your symptoms are inconsistent. The lost leg would indicate osteosarcoma, but the breathing apparatus suggests something else, entirely. The hair loss suggests chemotherapy, but…"

He chuckled, "Did you look up all of my symptoms trying to deduce what I had?"

"You are tied to Natsuki. Your well-being matters to her, and so it matters to me. But you are such a…conundrum."

"I see your point. The leg wasn't bone cancer. It was a motorcycle accident, shortly after I moved to the States. It put an end to my riding days. It also put an end to my relationship with Satsuki. She didn't find a cripple to be worth her time, no matter how wealthy. It was…eye-opening. I got a taste of my own medicine as it were."

"And the chemotherapy?"

"Lung cancer. I was a notorious smoker, I'm afraid. As far back as high-school. And the chemotherapy has done nothing to halt it. It has metastasized. I'm dying. I got the news yesterday."

"And you fear that you've come into Natsuki's life, only to hurt her again," I sighed.

"Just so," He smiled without mirth, "I just…wanted to be a part of her life for a little while. I wanted…to make up to her the time that I'd lost after District One told me to stay away.

"And instead, I'll be leaving her, again. This time a bit more…permanently."

"And you are telling me because?"

"Because I need to ask something of you. Something very important. I am dying, Fujino, and very soon. Natsuki isn't ready to head the company. I've no doubt that she can do it. I've never doubted that she could do it. But she's not ready yet. There are so many things she needs to learn at school and from experience before…" he began coughing, and I saw specks of blood as he held a napkin to his lips, "Before she can take the reins."

"What would you ask of me?" I suspected I knew his answer.

"I want you to run the company until Natsuki graduates. And I would ask your Father to teach her everything she needs to know. I.." he coughed again, then continued, "I expect a merger when the two of you take your places. I only wish.." he coughed once more, "That I could be there to see it."

I sighed, "You will explain to Natsuki, of course?"

He nodded, "I will. I can't keep this from her."

I nodded. We agreed that he would inform her the very next day. That meant that I had to make plans. I contacted my father the next day, and told him of what Genichiro Kuga had told me.

"I have no right to ask you for a favor, now," I began. Father, however, cut me off.

"Shizuru, you are my only daughter. And your Natsuki is a remarkable woman. I would consider it an honor to take her under my wing. However, I am certain that there is to come a grieving period, yes?"

There was, indeed. For when I returned to our apartment after classes, I found Natsuki prone on the bed, her body racked by silent sobs.

I put a hand on her shoulder, saying nothing. I merely ran my hands along her back until she stopped sobbing. It was actually advice I'd been given by Sister Yukariko, many years ago, when I first started at Fuuka.

"When someone is troubled, Fujino-san," Sister had said to me, "It is often the business of concerned friends to offer platitudes and counsel. But to those who grieve, those platitudes ring hollow, and the counsel they offer is usually not based in truth, but their own folly. Do you know what the shortest verse in Scripture is, Fujino-san?"

I admitted that I didn't.

"It is John 11:35. 'Jesus wept.' That was after his friend Lazarus had died. Just those words. 'Jesus wept.' Do you know how comforting those words are?"

I didn't at the time, and Sister tried to explain, "Our loving Father sent his only Son, and He was perfect. And this perfect man, who was sent to die for us, could still grieve for us. He cares for us. He did not make grand speeches about life. He did not try to comfort those who mourned. He wept. When our friends are grieved, sometimes, the appropriate response is not to offer platitudes or counsel, but to share in their grief with them. That is what it means to be His."

I do not know if I believe as Sister believes. But in that moment, she had shown some true wisdom. Sometimes, it isn't about what we say. The words people often offer the distressed and grieving are more for the sake of making themselves sound profound and wise, rather than about helping the person who is grieving. But I could show Natsuki my love and compassion, merely by being there while she needed me.

Eventually, Natsuki stopped crying, and I dared to speak, "Natsuki, do you need anything?"

She sat up and hugged me, "Dad is dying, Shizuru. He's going to leave me, again."

I took a breath, then exhaled slowly, "I know."

"He told me…he talked to you. Why didn't you tell me, Shizuru?"

"Because he promised he would. And he did. He is your Father, Natsuki. It was important that you heard it from him, first."

"I…I need to feel like I'm alive, Shizuru," She clutched at me, "Something…to show that I'm living."

I took a deep breath, then, and I squeezed her tightly, "Then, let us make dinner. You've had a long day, and you need to replenish yourself."

She looked at me, "Shizuru, I…"

I put my fingers over her lips, shaking my head, "Natsuki, we are lovers. And that includes the physical act, as well. But right now, in the state you're in, doing what you're suggesting would be taking advantage of you. That…is a line I will NEVER cross again. So, I will see to it that you've gotten your strength back. And I will hold you. And I will comfort you. And then, when you are feeling more yourself, we can do as you suggest. But I love you, and I won't abuse the trust you showed me when you forgave me. That can come later, alright?"

I spoke the words firmly, but gently. She sighed.

"What am I going to do?"

I ran my hand over the top of her head, "Your father is dying, Natsuki, but he's not dead, yet. I think…you should spend time with him. If I've learned anything about life from our time as HiME, it's that life is short and precious. And if there's anything I learned about dying, it's that our memories are all that we carry with us."

And so, I took Natsuki out to a nice meal, and we talked. And we came home, and I held her while she poured her heart out. The things she said were private, personal, and for my ears only, and so, I will not repeat them.

Finally, she wrapped her arms around me, and said, "Shizuru, will you cheer me up a little?"

I am a creature of a great many minds on many subjects. That is why my CHILD had six heads. And now I was conflicted. Was now a suitable time to give in to her request? Or would I still be taking advantage of her grief?

In the end, I did as Natsuki asked. To this day, I don't know if it was the correct choice or not, but…I will say that it felt right, then. And she has never given me cause to regret acquiescing to her wishes. For her, I could brave all, do all, and be all.

And there was something I needed to discuss with her. Something important. Something…that would change our lives forever.

The first rays of dawn found me in her arms, my head against her chest. She was smiling and stroking my hair.

"It's very chilly," she said, "And you're keeping me warm. So if you try and move before I'm ready, I'm gonna be ticked."

I chuckled, "Truly a terrifying ultimatum."

"I appreciate your understanding in the matter," she smirked at me.

"Natsuki, did your Father tell you his plan?"

"For you to run his company and your Dad to teach me business, and then, he suggested a merger."

"Then let me propose a genuine merger, Natsuki," I turned over to face her directly, my belly atop hers, my arms propping me up, "Natsuki, how would you feel…about being married?"

She blinked, then sat up, facing me eye to eye, "I'm assuming you mean to you?"

"Ikezu," I mock pout, "Of course I mean with me. I would never suggest Natsuki marry anyone else?"

She gave me a rueful smile, "Isn't this a sort of half-assed proposal, Shizuru? I mean, shouldn't you be down on one knee, offering me a ring, or something? I mean, geez, you're the romantic in this relationship, aren't you?"

I don't know which stung more, the fact that Natsuki was successfully teasing me, or the fact that she was absolutely correct. As proposals go, this was, indeed, a half-assed one. Still, a teaser must tease, and while Natsuki's skill had grown, she still had much to learn about reversal.

"Ara, but I am merely asking Natsuki how she feels about the subject for the future? I had assumed that my gallant Natsuki would be the one to propose to me, riding to me on her…troublesome…mechanical steed. She would cut such a dashing figure, laying her helmet at my feet as she took a knee, offering me a ring. Would Natsuki force me into the role of prince?"

"You're my senior, though, Shizuru," Natsuki smirked, "So the ovation should come from you, shouldn't it? Especially if you're the one raising the subject in the first place."

Perhaps Natsuki knows something of reversal after all. Then, I must return to being serious.

"Your father expressed a belief that we would merge our companies when we were both the ones in power. He expressed a regret that he wouldn't likely live to see that. So, I thought, what if we could show your father a small glimpse of that merger, by become wed to one another...if in spirit only, given the current laws of this nation."

Natsuki wrapped a blanket around herself, looking thoughtful.

"Natsuki?"

"I…I think that would be a good idea, Shizuru. Thank you."

I decided to show my loving rather than teasing side, then, "Natsuki, would you truly like me to be the one to officially propose?"

She shook her head, "No. Because I think…our relationship is a little unusual, wouldn't you say? I mean, yes, a lot of our friends think of me as being a bit…masculine."

"I have never found you so," I said, sincerely.

"Thanks. But…well, we're not really conventional in that sense, anyway. I mean, what's the term they'd use?"

"I find most labels for our relationship inadequate," I profess to her, "I view our interludes as being those of equals."

She smiles, that gentle smile that few people ever get to see, "But Shizuru, what I'm getting at is…if we ARE equals, shouldn't we present each other with rings? And proposals?"

It is very rare for someone to take me by surprise, but Natsuki is the one person who succeeds without ever trying. From forgiving me in the ruins of the Chapel that night, to coming to me and forging ahead with our relationship, to going off to confront my parents by herself, to this moment now, she has been the most consistent in surprising me in ways that make my heart sing.

I embrace her, tears streaming down my cheeks, "You wonderful, amazing girl, you!"

We…didn't leave the bed for another hour.