Notes: I guess this is a week-late submission for Day 6 of Kuzuhina Week 2021 (Gluttony). Surprise?

I didn't expect to find an applicable BUMP OF CHICKEN lyric for this, but I did. So, the title comes from "The Theme of the Legend of the Fresh Vegetable Kingdom."

The Tater Minister

Hinata didn't tend to use Twitter very much. He had an account mostly to keep up with Mioda's professional socials, but beyond that he didn't tweet or even interact with anything. Occasionally he'd receive push notifications offering topics that the Twitter algorithm seemed to think he would like, but they never were anything relevant to his interests—probably because he was so inactive, there was very little data to draw from him. Mostly, Twitter seemed to think he'd be interested in music. Considering the circumstances, that made sense.

What made absolutely no sense was why Twitter thought it prudent to send a push notification suggesting the topic of "potato recipes."

Hinata was halfway through his morning errands when he got the notification, and he froze right where he stood, laundry detergent halfway to his shopping basket, just staring at his phone screen for a moment. What in the world...? Why would Twitter ever think that he had an interest in potato recipes?

The mere concept was so out of left field that, after the detergent was safely in his basket, morbid curiosity caused him to tap over to the app. He needed to see what sort of potato recipe content Twitter thought would be riveting enough to merit a push notification.

He didn't even know that Twitter had a designated category for potato recipes.

The results were... about what Hinata should have expected, really. An endless stream of tweets from food networks and food bloggers sharing recipes that featured potatoes, as far as Hinata could scroll. With a roll of his eyes, he was about to close out of the app and get back to his shopping when he reconsidered.

Come to think of it, he was running a bit low on dinner ideas. One would think that staying home to tend to the house while Kuzuryu was at work would leave Hinata with plenty of time to brainstorm new menus. On the contrary, cleaning, laundry, and all other assorted housework took up enough time that more often than not, he ended up simply falling back on the same handful of recipes for dinner. Kuzuryu never seemed to complain, at least not any more than would be considered normal for him, but it had to be getting somewhat dull. Maybe trying something new was just what was needed.

His mind made up, Hianta quickly bookmarked a few of the more promising-looking potato recipes, did some mental calculations to figure out what he would need to buy, and turned towards the produce section to finish up his shopping.

At some point, Hinata had made a grave mistake.

He didn't know what had come over him, really. It was like he had gone into some sort of fugue state while cooking, and by the time he came back to his senses it was several hours later and the dinner table was full of nothing but potato dishes.

Potato galette, potato potage soup, potato gratin, kofuki-imo, potato salad, potato croquettes...

Hinata dropped to his knees, head in his hands as the gravity of the situation began to sink in. Kuzuryu would be home any moment, hungry and cranky, and the only thing that Hinata had to offer was what seemed like miles and miles of potatoes—

"I'm home!"

"Welcome home!" Hinata called toward the entrance on reflex, before silently cursing his luck. Now what?! It was only a matter of seconds before Kuzuryu would come into the dining room and see what their dinner spread looked like. "Um," Hinata added lamely, "before you come in here, I can... explain? Or maybe not, uh..."

Kuzuryu's footfalls in the front hallway paused, before speeding up as he made his way to the dining room. "What the hell is that supposed to—" He trailed off as he entered the room and saw all the potato dishes covering the table. "...Where are the vegetables?"

Hinata cocked his head thoughtfully. "Potatoes are vegetables, right...?"

"Hajime what the fuck. What else did you make besides potatoes?"

"They're... all potatoes."

"All of them?! The fuck are we supposed to do with all these carbohydrates?!"

Hinata grimaced. "Yeah, I know. I just found a bunch of new recipes and..."

"That doesn't mean you make them all at once, moron!"

"...I kind of got carried away?"

Kuzuryu sighed and sat down at the table, hand on his forehead. "Tell me you made something else besides potatoes."

Frantic, Hinata located one dish that seemed promising and grabbed it. "I mean— look, I made karinage! Withpotatoesbut you love karinage, right?"

"How many times do I have to tell you that karinage isn't karinto?!"

Hinata's face fell. "You always say you like the karinage I make though."

Kuzuryu flushed and averted his gaze. "Yeah, whatever."

Hinata returned the dish of karinage to the table and twiddled his thumbs awkwardly for a moment. "Look, I— I'll call in some delivery, okay?"

"The fuck? Why bother?" Kuzuryu pulled his bowl of potage towards him and gestured for Hinata to sit down across the table from him. "You cooked all of this, like hell we're letting it go to waste."

Mood brightening and heart fluttering in his chest, Hinata eagerly took the invitation and sat down. "I mean... we could at least order some sort of protein or..."

"You think we'll have room for that after stuffing ourselves full of starch?" He huffed and placed his palms together. "Just don't do it again. Itadakimasu."

Despite everything, Hinata couldn't help but smile in response to the warmth filling his chest. "Yeah. Itadakimasu."

When all of that was settled, Hinata thought it was only appropriate to tweet for the first time in months.

I made a dinner of nothing but potatoes tonight. It went over about as well as you'd expect. #househusband #helovesmeanyway
[Photo]

Notes: Please go to AO3 if you want to see the "photo" (which is just a doodle I scribbled in five minutes).