DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything from the Naruto or Harry Potter universes.

Thinking (+ flashbacks, Naruto speaking to Kurama in her mindscape, etc.)

Emphasis

Bijuu, etc. speaking

Bijuu, etc. thinking

Hagrid knew that this young witch was alright. And now he had proof!

He did begin to worry a little about her mental state, as the witch came up with more and more outlandish plans to rescue that poor dragon that was being held prisoner in the bowels of Gringotts: something he'd been horrified to realize even existed there. As she began spinning her third idea, a quite imaginative one of how she could have a toad - a TOAD of all the silly things - bring the dragon to their "magical realm," then the dragon could do "whatever the hell it wants to," Hagrid laughed heartily. He covered his mouth when he saw how serious the witch was as she glared at him. He couldn't contain his mirth, though.

"You've got no faith in me, 'ttebayo," the one-armed witch pouted before standing up straight and even bouncing once on her toes. "That's alright! I'll just have to prove to you that I can do it! Now, what's the deal with all these books? I've already got enough to read from the vault to last a lifetime," Naruto said seriously before snarking, "someone else's lifetime."

Hagrid kindly bent down to speak to the little blonde in a lower voice. "Dumbledore says yer behind, Naruto. Yeh'll have teh have extra lessons 'nd such teh catch up."

"Well, that sucks and so do these," Naruto said, not minding the way the other customers and especially the owners of Flourish and Blotts scowled at her for saying so. None of the attention was malicious, and people got really weird over their books: just look at Kakashi-sensei. Considering it more, she looked around the bookstore, searching for the bright covers of Icha-Icha. Even the most "upstanding" of normal bookstores always carried it on the back shelves for their perverts.

Sadly, (sort of,) there was no Icha-Icha smut to be found. She did find what she guessed was a cookbook, but like everything else, couldn't read a word of it. The food in it looked kinda gross, so it was no big loss.

After buying - as in, actually paying for (blegh!) - books of all the crappy things, Naruto and Hagrid continued their shopping trip. "I wonder if the dragon will want to be friends once we get her out of there. Dragons and people -er, magicians, can be friends, right?"

"'Witches an' wizards,' Naruto," Hagrid corrected, grimacing and offering apologetic looks to everyone within hearing distance. Calling their kind "magicians" was quite insulting! Magicians were simply muggles who played various tricks on their own for entertainment value. Hagrid let out an enormous snotty sniff a minute later, thinking of poor little Norbert, and apologized. "'ndeed we can be friends wi' dragons!"

"Yatta!" Naruto cheered.

The dynamic duo's next stop was to buy a cauldron, which Naruto thought was hilarious before getting impossibly excited about chemistry: something she said she'd always been good at. Hearing her ideas of what she could cook up in her new cauldron made him - for the first time - feel sorry for old Snape. As the afternoon continued, Naruto complained between every shop they went into but was impossibly excited once inside the next stop as their journey moved forward.

Looking through the pretty telescope, Naruto adjusted it enough to check out the other wizard people down the way, not magicians, she reminded herself. "This is like a pervert's wet dream, 'ttebayo," she remarked to herself. Hagrid turned around so fast he knocked half of the store's displayed inventory over. They were chased out while Naruto laughed and pulled her much larger companion along with her. "How about a magic ball? Can I get a magic ball?"

Jiji probably did good stuff with his, along with all the perving, of course.

"I don't wan' to KNOW what' yer wantin' tha' for! And PLEASE: no more odd comments abou'... that stuff," he hissed the last two words.

"You mean sex?"

Naruto didn't allow herself to laugh at the big old hairy man who turned so red that steam literally came out of his ears. "No worries, Hagrid-san," she said as she patted his arm. "I'm a frontline kuno- witch, not a seduction witch, for your information."

"I need a drink," Hagrid sighed unhappily minutes later. Merlin's beard... What in the world is a "seduction witch?"

Naruto was thirsty, too, so the shoppers made their way to the Leaky Cauldron. Hagrid ordered a large whiskey but scolded Naruto who requested the same thing. How in the world the girl's breath ended up smelling like whiskey despite his intervention, he would never know. Hagrid could only be grateful that Naruto must have only had a sip because she didn't act inebriated in the slightest, although her whiskered cheeks were quite pink.

In a magnificent office, Dumbledore chuckled to himself as he watched his gamekeeper and the blue-eyed witch through a one-of-a-kind relic. Although a child of her age certainly shouldn't be drinking, Miss Namikaze's sleight of hand was extraordinary. Albus could only imagine the havoc she could wreak if she had two hands! He wondered if he should allow her to teach a class on it, but that would be a class for members of the Order. He did not want his students to be taken advantage of. He'd have to speak with Miss Namikaze to ensure that she kept her hand to herself, and would respect her fellows.

...And perhaps it is time to visit a certain portrait of a blonde-haired wizarding shinobi close to the Ravenclaw common room, Dumbledore thought. After all, Minato had always been cordial in the past.

The next morning, Naruto was seriously unimpressed with the animals that were available to buy. The shop was almost as bad and even stinkier than the shop where they bought her "robes:" big flowy things that would only get in her way that she was still required to pay for! And get measured for - why? The damn things were so big, Naruto knew she'd have to tape them to her body every day if required to wear them! "If I'm going to partner with an animal, it'll be a toad," she sniffed. "Nothing else will do!"

"Hagrid," a jolly man exclaimed, greeting her big friend with a shake of hands instead of a bow. "Good to see you! I couldn't help but hear the young lady's request!"

Hagrid nodded. "Good teh see ya, Dave. Miss Namikaze, 'ere, 'as a certain... affinity, I suppose yeh could say, fer toads."

Toads 're so out o' style! Hagrid thought to himself. Between the toad and Naruto's missing arm, the gamekeeper hoped that she wouldn't be ostracized from her peers.

"I'm afraid our selection of toads is sheltering in Hogsmeade."

Naruto didn't like the way the man said "selection of toads" as if they were some kind of pet - which is what Hagrid basically described them as.

Oh well. If this Dave-san was enslaving toads, she'd free them then pound his ass.

"Good news that is, Naruto," Hagrid asserted before turning to Dave. "We're headin' to Hogsmeade as soon as we get Miss Namikaze 'er wand."

As he later trudged through the snow, Hagrid realized that Naruto was barely leaving footprints behind her.

Spooky!

"Naruto, we don' want undue attention, so yeh need teh... walk more... heavily?" Naruto snorted at that and didn't do as he said. Hagrid wasn't sure if she was simply too light, was levitating somehow, (which was absolutely impossible since she didn't have a wand yet,) or if the witch was ignoring him. "Ah! 'ere we are! This is Ollivanders, Naruto," Hagrid explained as Naruto looked over the shabby-looking place. "No finer maker 'nd collector o' wands than ol' Ollivander." A little bell tinkled as they entered the dusty shop.

"Is that right?" Naruto asked in a deadpan voice. Why is this old dude trying to sneak up on us? Hagrid sat down on a chair he looked kinda silly in but jumped when the old guy finally revealed himself.

"Good afternoon," the old dude said in a soft voice. He pouted like a naughty child when Naruto didn't look surprised to see him.

Naruto once again snorted. Crap. The old dude looked way-too-interested in her. "How's it going, clerk-san?"

"It is going terribly well," the old dude said a little creepily. The shopkeeper's eyes reminded Naruto of the Hyuugas, and she felt incredibly pained by Neji's loss once again. When she was a little girl, she'd harbored a crush on the older boy - but then she found out he was being a bastard to Hinata-chan. Thank goodness he cut that shit out years before he... died.

No... He was killed protecting me, she reminded herself (as if she had to;) almost as if to torture herself.

The old guy smirked at her. "And I thought the Montmorency line had died out."

"No idea what you're talking about there, dude," Naruto said unhelpfully.

"This is Miss Namikaze," Hagrid said genially, stepping up next to her.

"Ah," the old man drawled. "Namikaze... I see." He turned away from them and seemed to get lost as he looked through his shelves.

He gave Naruto the serious creeps, even though he didn't seem bad, per se.

"He has a keen interest in preserving himself."

Naruto snapped her fingers. "Exactly! You're so smart, Kurama."

"Tch."

Naruto came out of her mindscape to hear Olivander talking to himself - or maybe to Hagrid or her - she wasn't sure. He was definitely rambling, though: something about "potions" and wood.

"Well, now. Let's see, Miss Namikaze." He pulled a tape measure with silver markings out of his pocket. "Which is your wand arm?"

"I'm right-handed, but that arm got blown off," Naruto said, wiggling her stump around then feeling like an idiot, especially when the wand guy looked like he would pass out. "It's fine!"

The wand guy, Ollivander-san, shook his head as if to shake off his displeasure with what she'd said. "Nothing to be done about that, I suppose. Take off your coat and let's see the left. Tut-tut," he said as if to rush the witch. Once the pretty blonde was out of her coat it was all-too-obvious that she was missing an arm. "Hold out your arm; that's it." He measured various parts of Naruto's arm before frowning and decided to measure her stump - something Naruto didn't appreciate at all.

"Every Ollivander wand has a core of a powerful magical substance, Miss Namikaze," he said as if stating something he'd said a few hundred times. "We use unicorn hairs, phoenix tail feathers, and the heartstrings of dragons. No two Ollivander wands are the same, just as no two unicorns, dragons, or phoenixes are quite the same. And of course, you will never get such good results with another wizard or witch's wand."

Naruto glared at the tape measure (which had chakra) and was measuring different parts of her on its own. She swatted it away when it tried to measure her chest. "Pervert." She watched Ollivander-san go back to flitting about in his shelves, taking down boxes as he did so. He spoke to the tape measure, which was just weird, before directing his silvery eyes at her again.

"Right, Miss Namikaze. Try this one. Ebony and dragon heartstring. Ten inches. Oddly flexible; just take it and give it a wave."

Naruto took it, channeled her chakra into her arm, and blew the wand into pieces. "Uh oh. Sorry! I umm, I can pay for it! I think..." Oliver looked a little horrified but waved off her apology and offer before finding another wand.

"Alder and phoenix feather. Nine inches. Rather whippy. Try —"

Naruto gave it a wave, her eyes going large as wind chakra shot out the end of it so hard that part of the shop's roof blew off. "I'm so sorry! But thanks for the wand!"

"Absolutely not!"

"Oh, come on! That was awesome!

"That was not awesome, Naruto," Hagrid agreed with the shopkeep.

"What a drag," Naruto whined, channeling her inner Nara as she made a mental note of exactly where Olivander put that wand, in case she needed to lift it later.

She'd leave payment for it afterward somewhere, of course! She was a good person!

The blonde continued to sample a shitload of other wands, but none of them matched the power or ability to withstand her "magic." Suddenly an idea occurred to her. "Say Ollivander-san. You don't happen to have a wand with fox hair, do ya?" The look Olivander gave her would've made anyone else shrink away in embarrassment for asking such a thing. Naruto just stared at him blankly, waiting for an answer.

"Hmph!" the man exclaimed, heading for the far back of the shop. He came back with another wand, a big one. "Maple. Foxtail. A 16-inch relic of a different time."

"Just like me," Naruto breathed, hoping that wasn't actually true. She waved the wand around and although it didn't necessarily feel comfortable, it did channel her chakra more... Evenly? Gently? No, it was just better! "How's that? I want this one. How much?"

"It's not for sale."

"Look man, let's be real here," Naruto said, remembering how she always dealt with Tsunade-baa-chan's gambling debts and the goons that were after her, (honestly and successfully!) "If you don't let me buy this thing, I'm just going to steal it."

"Naruto!" Hagrid yelled, scolding her. The blonde shrugged her shoulders and gave the man a look that, to Olivander, somehow seemed feral. He shivered despite her broad smile as he agreed.

"Fine."

Next time: Neville's first crush.