DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything from the Naruto or Harry Potter universes.

Thinking (+ flashbacks, Naruto speaking to Kurama, etc.)

Emphasis

Bijuu, etc. speaking

Bijuu, etc. thinking

"YES!" Naruto shouted, sounding to Hagrid as if she were a megalomaniac who had lost her mind. Her arm and her… additional upper arm were raised high in triumph as they entered the pet store in Hogsmeade. "I will free you, my brethren!"

Oh no, Hagrid thought as his shoulders tensed. Not that again! And what or whom was the witch pledging to free now? "Let's make a bit less 'f a spectacle 'f ourselves, a'right?" That didn't happen. He noticed Neville Longbottom struggling to hold on to his toad and gave him a little nod. Hagrid would have spoken to the young wizard, but he had his hands full with Naruto at the moment.

Neville's eyes widened at the really bright, beautiful woman - who seemed completely insane - as his toad tried to jump away again. She was in the most neon orange long cloak he'd ever seen, and staring at the various toads on display as a look of appreciation crossed her pretty face, but it turned to something akin to disgust. He sighed heavily and slumped against the back wall. He'd only come in to get treats for Trevor, and now he'd have to deal with another person who didn't appreciate toads.

Naruto gazed upon the imprisoned toads and put her fist on her hips. All of the toads had chakra, but the amount was minuscule! She'd bet the tadpoles she first summoned had more chakra than these lazybones! "Brothers and sisters! Oh, how low you have allowed yourself to… get to... Descend: you know what I mean!"

Naruto winced: she'd kinda lost her steam there. No matter!

"You're all fat and out of shape; your cha- magic is almost completely insignificant! For shame! But fear not... I will see to it that you are freed to join me on the Mountain," the toads' excitement and loud croaking encouraged her to unleash her inner maniac. "I will see that you reach the pinnacle of Youth!"

Naruto paused and slumped, her upper half almost boneless. "Now look what you made me do," she continued as she sulked, glancing around for that horrible sunset genjutsu. Thankfully, it was nowhere to be seen. "I'LL TAKE THEM ALL! Oh, hello there!" A fitter toad had jumped onto her shoulder.

Neville panicked. Trevor had gotten away, and jumped on a lady! He had never seen him jump so high before!

Naruto picked the toad off her shoulder, apologizing to him for handling him so indelicately. "I've only got one arm, so please forgive me." The toad croaked and made other noises as the blonde nodded her head. "It's nice to meet you, too, Trevor-san."

"You… you understand him?!" Neville asked incredulously as he took his toad back. "H - how's that possible?"

"What do you mean?"

Hagrid interrupted the two before Naruto could reveal anything that might be overheard by those less trustworthy, although he was extremely curious about how in the world the witch could understand (and appreciate) such a simple creature. He hoped that he could convince the blonde teen to teach him their language, simple or not! "Neville Longbottom, meet Naruto Namikaze."

"How's it going, man?" Naruto held out her fist. "Fist bump me, yo."

"Oh! Yes, ma'am!" Neville agreed, awkwardly bumping his fist with the beautiful lady.

Naruto snorted. "Calling me that makes me feel old. Just call me Naruto, or Naru if you'd like."

"Yes, ma'am! Oh, sorry," Neville said awkwardly. Fortunately, he received an almost impossibly bright, beautiful smile in return.

"That's okay. Do you partner with Trevor-san? He likes you very much," Naruto said before directing her eyes at the toad in Neville's shaky hands. Neville seemed nervous, and she always liked to put people at ease, but first, she needed to clarify something with Trevor. Toads were her most trusted allies, after all. "Forgive me for not calling you Trevor-sama; I'm unaware of the hierarchy here."

The toad croaked at her and sounded like it was grumbling.

Naruto chuckled and rubbed its little head. "Trevor it is, then," she said, continuing her little prank. She had heard the boy trying to deal with "Trevor" shortly after they came in. "And nice to meet you, Neville-san!"

"Yeah, umm… Nice to meet you, too," Neville said, almost squeaking as he turned pink.

Naruto never understood why people outside of the village, especially young men, tended to react to her that way but was fairly used to it. For all his lazy-ass smartness, Shikamaru was like that, too; thankfully, he was the only one to do that in Konoha. Ero-sennin used to call her an idiot every time it happened, rolling his eyes and shaking his head as he did so, but was completely unhelpful in explaining what that reaction meant. Gosh, she missed him so much! She turned from Neville to the toads on display and let out a sad sigh. "Ne, how are we going to train all these out-of-shape guys - and will my room be big enough for now?"

Neville didn't understand what she meant, but Hagrid did. "Naruto, you're only allowed one pet…"

"They're not pets! They're toads!"

"Uh, yeah," Hagrid agreed (not really) as more and more people - many of them were Hogwarts students - came to watch the loud witch. Neville looked like he wanted to become one with the ground as he realized all of the attention they were getting. Hagrid knew he should've never allowed her to buy that orange cloak, (it only made things worse,) but it had been on clearance, and Naruto had convinced him that she could work her magic from behind it, "it'll give me an edge!"

Plus she said that he couldn't stop her from buying or stealing it and dared him to try. For some reason, he hadn't liked his odds. "You can only buy one toad; that's final," he said, standing firm.

"Y- you're a student?" Neville asked, pinkening even more. "I don't think I - I've ever seen you before."

All that stuttering reminded Naruto of Hinata-chan. "I'm new," she answered with a sad smile.

Kurama chose that moment to voice his opinion. "The flesh bag has more power than he realizes."

"I know! He's just shy."

"He's still an insect. And 'shyness' is a useless or detrimental trait."

"Don't be so mean, Kurama! Kakashi-sensei was shy and he was super powerful."

"He was a pervert."

"So are you! And don't say 'was.' We'll get back there and make sure he's okay! And we'll check on your siblings, too!"

"YOU'RE the pervert here, and stop being an idiot: go back to those imbeciles."

Naruto pouted, confusing Hagrid and Neville before she brightened back up. Then she pouted again, her bottom lip sticking out even more. Neville thought it was adorable, but Hagrid found her mood changes a little concerning.

He feared the girl might be manipulative.

Or have what people in those novels called a second personality.

Or maybe she was possessed.

"But I want them all, and I don't want to hurt any of their feelings," Naruto said, then heard snickering behind her. She turned toward the others who were being such busybodies in the shop and glared at them. "Do you want me to kick your asses? 'Cuz I can do it."

Hagrid moved between Naruto and the crowd, glad that most of those who were watching wisely chose to go back to their business or even leave the store. A few first-years were poorly hiding but still watching. He was relieved when Naruto only winked at them when she looked around him. Crisis averted, he breathed. "B'have yerself, Miss Namikaze."

"Gomen, gomen," she said, ignoring how the words came out of her mouth differently. That weird jutsu/trick/wand-wave result was getting a little easier to ignore. She could even appreciate it now, the more she dealt with others. Cursing was especially expressive and beautiful here, she thought. So many new words!

"Well, there's nothing to be done about it, I suppose," she said defeatedly, stepping closer to the display of toads. "Alright guys, you heard him. I can only take one of you," Naruto said, bending over to whisper. "For now," she added secretively with a wiggle of her eyebrows. All of the other toads croaked more in return. Naruto listened attentively, trying to feel out what they were saying or feeling. They were a noisy bunch.

She stepped closer to the largest, fattest toad who had a resigned look on his face. "This one."

"I… uh… couldn't help but overhear?" the shopkeeper asked more than said. "Miss… Namikaze, is it?"

"Yes," Naruto said, glaring at the toad's captor. She just needed an excuse to Rasengan his…

"This, uhhh, particular toad is almost 10 years old. I would suggest a younger…"

"No," she said firmly. "He's been held in captivity far too long already. You're with me," she nodded at the fat toad, who immediately jumped on her head. "Whoa! You weigh a lot, ya know!" She laughed at the silly toad, reminded of how Kiba used to keep Akamaru on his head when he was a puppy. Hopefully, she'd soon be able to drive her slow-growing head-riding toad, too, just like how Kiba was able to do so with the big Akamaru. She and this toad had a ways to go, though: he most likely had a lot to learn not to mention getting into better physical shape. After all, for a moment, she thought he'd shattered the vertebrae in her neck when he hopped on board her head.

"What a Fat Fuck." Oh, how the great Kyuubi no Kitsune hated amphibians!

"Shut up, Kurama! We've just gotta get him in shape!"

The shopkeeper panicked in embarrassment at seeing the toad on the witch's head and reached up to get him off, but the witch moved a few meters back somehow - he didn't even see how she got so far away! Before he even blinked his eyes!

"Naruto," Hagrid said in a warning voice. He didn't like the way the witch was making him feel so… shaky. The unnatural way her hair floated around was a little creepy, too.

"Sorry," Naruto said, fully reigning in the bare trickle of Killing Intent that escaped her. She gave a tight smile to the poor, innocent toads' warden. "He's just fine up there, clerk-san. I'll be back for the others in time."

"Gosh darn i', Naruto!" Hagrid scolded. Unfortunately, he knew the witch was totally serious.

Naruto exploded at the next store she was taken to. "What the hell do you mean, I've 'gotta have a ball gown?' What kind of nonsense is that?! I thought this was a SCHOOL?"

Hagrid didn't know whether or not to leave Naruto and her great hatred of shopping to the owner of the boutique, Linda, or not. He had to, at least, warn her of the young witch's "eccentricities!" Linda, however, seemed unphased.

"Tomboy," she said in a deep, unimpressed voice. Linda looked the pretty blonde up and down, trying desperately to ignore the toad on the witch's head. Miss Namikaze had bristled at the name she'd called her, which told her much of what she needed to know. "We can make allowances for that, Miss Namikaze, but know this: the Yule Ball is mandatory for both staff and students."

"Well, that sucks," Naruto said, pouting as she tried to cross her arms. "Can I wear a... what's it called? A hakama? ...A suit? I always thought a girl would look super cool in that."

"Absolutely not."

Naruto glared at the woman - her worst, most terrifying glare without channeling Kurama's chakra into her eyes - but it did nothing. She deflated and blew out an accidental raspberry. "I'll wear a kimono if it's orange," she said as she gave in a bit, deeply fearing that she'd instead be forced to wear the bulbous pieces of heavy fabric she saw being stored en masse in the back of the store in bags. She shivered just thinking about them.

Linda's face expressed something very scary to Naruto: she looked intrigued, more and more so from the moment she'd mentioned a hakama. Artsy people were to be feared! And a shopkeeper on top of it?! Very scary indeed.

"Leave this to me, Hagrid. I'll return Miss Namikaze to you after her fitting."

"I'm gettin' a drink!" Hagrid announced, throwing a wave over his shoulder as he ran out of the store. Naruto was incredibly impressed that such a big man could move that fast.

"Orange, you say?" Linda asked, a gleam in her eye.

Naruto swallowed down the large lump in her throat and nodded her head.

She skipped through the snowy landscape, focused on Hagrid's warm chakra. Naruto had escaped Linda-san after being measured every which way and coming to an agreement on a dress-thing. It was actually kinda exciting to have something made especially for you.

She didn't need to see today's end result; she was sure that it would turn out fine.

Linda mentioned that she had grown very tired of fitting girls for mostly the same "silhouette" over and over, and went on at length about how she had wanted to be challenged. Naruto, it ended up, had proved challenging, she'd said.

Entering the homey establishment where Hagrid was hiding out, Naruto realized it was a bar. She whispered a few orders to her companion as she half-hid herself. Before Hagrid could see her, she hid the majority of her hair in her cloak, stuck her partner (the newly-named Raiya-chan) in a large pocket, and asked him to be quiet for her. She wished she had a hat, as once again, no one here seemed to have her brightly colored hair.

Until Raiya could henge as a hat, she was screwed for head-dressings.

"What can I get for you?" the bartender asked absently. She didn't even look up at Naruto.

"Whiskey. Make it a double: I've had a weird few days," Naruto said with a sigh. She'd only had sake before yesterday, but the whiskey was even better for warming her up. And this place was ridiculously damn cold!

She began drinking, enjoying the way it burned on the way down when she heard coughing close to her. Turning, she smiled at the first person around her age she'd met. "Neville-san! Can I buy you a drink?"

"Wh- what?! N- no! You're supposed to be..." he was interrupted when Naruto's large toad flew into his face. Naruto laughed and pulled Raiya away.

"Nice one, Raiya," she said before beginning to put the toad back into her pocket. "Neville, this is Raiya! Raiya didn't have a name before, which is just TERRIBLE, but he agreed to that one. I wanted to call him something else, but... HA! Never mind that," she stopped herself, not allowing her eyes to tear up. She had wanted to call the toad "Jiraiya," but just couldn't get Ero-sennin's name out of her mouth. "Raiya" was close enough, and it was cute. "So how'd you meet Trevor?"

Trevor, it turned out, came from his grandmother, and Naruto listened as the shy boy became more confident the more they talked. Neville was an alright guy, agreeing that toads were much more than mere pets. He also didn't mind that she'd pranked him by making him think that she understood what these toads were saying; he even thought it was funny. And smart! The only time he weirded out was when she needed to check him for fever by putting her forehead against his. He was still nice, but Naruto wasn't sure what she'd done to change things: now he was all shy and awkward again. She didn't have long to think about it, though, because a door opened, and she was hit with something that felt malicious.

She had Neville behind a nearby screen, hidden, within a half-second.

Her stomach turned at what she saw.

Jinchuuriki. How the hell was there another jinchuuriki here?