Updated: 14/12/2021
Author's Note:
Happy 27th Birthday to my Little Sister Laura. I hope you have a wonderful day. This chapter is dedicated to her!
Chapter 16: My Least Favourite Gods 1 - 5
After Zeus got the biggest lecture, he could every think he had. Excluding Hera's rants about his sleeping around. They all settle back down again.
But Poseidon and Hades still had amused looks on their faces at the lecture their brother just received. That was VERY satisfying. And to Poseidon he felt it went a way for him to forgive him for setting the Echidna and Chimera on him. But there was still a way to go.
"So whose turn now?" Calypso asks, "Probably should be a God. As we have seemed to be doing it that way"
Everyone looks at each other.
"What about you brother?" Hades asks innocently.
Zeus glares at him and others smirk.
"I'll go", Persephone states with a smile, saving her Father.
Who lets out a quite sigh of relief.
Chapter 15: A God Buys Us Cheeseburgers
Percy, Annabeth and Grover swear in their heads. Oh this part was going to go down so well. Between their humiliation, Hephaestus's trap, the knowledge of Ares and Aphrodite making out and the fact that Ares set them up was going to go down well.
"Which God did you met?" Meg asks curiously.
"Sorry but can't say. As it would ruin the surprise", Percy replies deciding to go with the option if it leads to Ares's future secret getting out.
Then he would put up with a little bit of embarrassment. And if his Dad started to have a go at Hephaestus, Percy would just lead it back to Ares.
The next afternoon, June 14th, seven days before the solstice, our train rolled into Denver. We hadn't eaten since the night before in the dining car, somewhere in Kansas.
"That is not good", Hestia tells them.
"It is not like we had money to burn Auntie Hes", Percy reminds her.
We hadn't taken a shower since Half-Blood Hill, and I was sure that was obvious.
"Ewww", Aphrodite says looking disgusted, "You have to have a shower"
"It is not like we have more important things to do", Percy reminds her.
"Oh course this is more important! Clothing and proper…"
Percy sighs this and the fact she kept trying to interfere with his love life is the reason she was one of his least favourite Gods.
Guess who wants to guess who the others our?
"Let's try to contact Chiron", Annabeth says, "I want to tell him about your talk with the river spirit"
"We can't use phones, right?"
We wandered through downtown for about half an hour,
"Then you can go shopping then!" Aphrodite says.
"We didn't have time", Percy repeats himself.
"Or money", Grover adds.
thought I wasn't sure that Annabeth was looking for. The air was dry and hot, which felt weird after the humidity of St Louis. Everywhere we turned, the Rocky Mountains seemed to be staring at me, like a tidal wave about to crash into the city.
Finally we found an empty do-it-yourself car wash. We veered towards the stall furthest from the street, keeping out eyes open for patrol cars. We were three adolescents hanging out at a car wash without a car; any cop worth his doughnuts would figure we were up to no good.
"They would. So I hope you all kept a look out", Athena states.
"We did", Annabeth confirms.
"Why is that so important? Who cares if the brats get arrested?" Dionysus asks leaning back lazily in his throne.
"Because they are going a quest to stop us from going to war", Athena points out.
Dionysus waves his hands, "Who cares it probably isn't worth the time this quest. And kids won't be able to find out"
See why Dionysus was also one of his least favourite Gods?
"What exactly are we doing?" I ask, as Grover took out the spray gun.
"It's seventy-five cents", he grumbles, "I've only got two quarters left. Annabeth?"
"Don't look at me", she says, "The dining car wiped me out"
I fished out my last bit of change and passed Grover a quarter, which left two nickels and one drachma from Medusa's place.
"Jeez you guys are in bad shape", Apollo states.
"State the obvious", Artemis retorts.
"How will you get West now?" Poseidon asks them.
"Ahhh interesting ways", Percy replies.
"What does that mean? I am going to like it?" Poseidon asks him.
"Do you really want me to answer that?"
That was all the answer Poseidon needed. He wasn't going to like them.
"Excellent", Grover says, "We could do it with a spray bottle, of course, but the connection isn't as good, and my arm gets tired of pumping"
"That explained a lot Grover", Travis teases.
"And made absolutely no sense whatsoever", Conner adds.
He fed in the quarters and set the knob to fine mist, "I-M'ing"
"Instant messaging?"
The Stroll twins laugh.
Percy just rolls his eyes at the two.
"You two done?"
"Iris-messaging", Annabeth corrects, "The Rainbow Goddess Iris carries messages for the Gods. If you know how to ask, and she's not too busy, she'll do the same for half-bloods"
"You common the Goddess with a spray gun?"
The Strolls laugh again.
"Is there even a chance of your stopping that?" Percy asks them.
"Not a chance"
Grover pointed the nozzle in the air and water hissed out in a thick white mist, "Unless you know an easier way to make a rainbow"
Sure enough, late afternoon light filtered through the vapour and broke into colours.
Annabeth held her palm out to me, "Drachma, please"
I handed it over.
She raised the coin over her head, "O Goddess, accept out offering"
She threw the Drachma into the Rainbow. It disappeared in a golden shimmer.
"Half-Blood Hill", Annabeth requests.
For a moment, nothing happened.
Then I was looking through the mist at strawberry fields, and the Long Island Sound in the distance. We seemed to be on the porch of the Big House. Standing with his back to us at the railing was a sandy-haired guy in shorts and an orange tank top. He was holding a bronze sword and seemed to be staring intently at something down in the meadows.
"Luke!" I call.
He turned, eyes wide. I could swear he was standing a metre in front of me through a screen of mist,
"Just don't try punk to walk through it or you would waste your money. Which would be hilarious", Ares chuckles.
Percy didn't raise to the bait. As Ares was going to get the embarrassment soon enough.
"Hey punk didn't you hear me?"
"Yes I did. I just don't waste my time on people that can be beaten easily", Percy teases him.
Ares eyes narrow, "What does that mean Punk?"
"Nothing", Percy replies innocently.
except I could only see the part of him that appeared in the rainbow.
"Percy!" his scarred face broke into a grin, "Is that Annabeth, too? Thank Gods! Are you guys okay?"
"We're . . . uh . . . fine", Annabeth stammers. She was madly straightening her dirty T-shirt, trying to comb the loose hair out of her face
Thalia raises her eyebrow at Annabeth.
"Anything you want to tell me?"
"Nothing whatsoever"
, "We thought – Chiron – I mean –"
"He's down at the cabins", Luke's smile faded, "We're having some issues with the campers. Listen, is everything cool with you? Is Grover all right?"
"Thank you for the concern, but it wasn't like you meant it", Grover states sarcastically.
The Gods and Romans look at Grover but he doesn't elaborate on that and neither do the Greeks.
"I'm right here", Grover calls. He held the nozzle out to one side and stepped into Luke's line of vision, "What kind of issues?"
Just then a big Lincoln Continental pulled into the car wash with its stereo turned to maximum hip-hop. As the car slid into the next stall, the bass from the subwoofers vibrated so much, it shook the pavement.
"That's helpful", Katie states.
"Chiron had to – what's that noise?" Luke yells.
"I'll take care of it!" Annabeth yells back, looking very relieved to have an excuse to get out of sight, "Grover, come on!"
"Annie?" Thalia asks her.
"It was nothing"
"What?" Grover asks, "But –"
"Give Percy the nozzle and come on!" Annabeth orders.
"Just get Grover involved Annabeth", Piper teases.
Annabeth just huffs.
Grover muttered something about girls being harder to understand than the Oracle of Delphi,
"Really Grover?" the Greek Girls ask him with a look.
Grover gulps, "It was just a joke Ladies! Honest!"
"Half-Truth", Apollo says, as he couldn't help himself.
Percy gave the Sun God a look.
The Girls give Grover a look before settling down.
then he handed me the stray gun and followed Annabeth.
I readjusted the hose so I could keep the rainbow going and still see Luke.
"Chiron had to break up a fight", Luke shouts to me over the music, "Things are pretty tense here, Percy. Word leaked out about the Zeus-Poseidon stand-off. We're still not sure how – probably same scumbag who summoned the hellhound.
"That would be true wouldn't it", Annabeth growls.
"Probably the only true thing he ever told", Thalia mutters.
"Why are you angry at him?" Hazel asks.
"That is a story that will be told soon", Annabeth replies calming down,
"…Now the Campers are starting to take sides. It's shaping up like the Trojan War all over again.
The Gods pale at that. How could this have gotten out of hand?
"…Aphrodite, Ares and Apollo are backing Poseidon, more or less Athena is backing Zeus"
Zeus growls, "If this was correct why aren't you on my side?"
"Probably because they know I wouldn't never do a thing like that", Poseidon replies.
"And because if this does happen in the future we don't really want war. We want it resolved without bloodshed", Apollo adds.
"No more bloodshed the better!" Ares states.
Percy really hated Ares.
"You should all stop questioning my authority…"
And this power trip was one of the reasons Zeus was on the list. But also because he threatens him with death every other Thursday.
Persephone quickly begins to read again.
I shuddered to think that Clarisse's Cabin would ever be on my Dad's side for anything. In the next stall, I heard Annabeth and some guy arguing with each other, then the music's volume decreased drastically.
"Go Annabeth!" the Strolls cheer.
"So what's your status?" Luke asks me, "Chiron will be sorry he missed you"
I told him pretty much everything, including my dreams.
"That was a bad idea", Annabeth tells him.
"I know that now. Hindsight is 20/20 Wise Girl"
It felt so good to see him, to feel like I was back at Camp even for a few minutes, that I didn't realize how long I had been talking until the beeper went off on the spray machine and I realized I only had one more minute before the water shut off.
"I wish I could be there", Luke tells me, "We can't help from here. I'm afraid, but listen . . . it had to be Hades who took the Master Bolt.
"I don't want it!"
"Then who else would it be brother?" Zeus asks him.
"Someone is doing a pretty good job at framing both of them Father. So it would seem they are innocent", Athena reasons.
"I think I am in shock Owl Head you are actually defending me!" Poseidon exclaims.
"Don't let it go to your head"
"He was there at Olympus at the Winter Solstice. I was chaperoning a field trip and we saw him"
"But Chiron said the Gods can't take each other's magic items directly"
"That's true", Luke says, looking troubled, "Still . . . Hades had the Helm of Darkness. How could anybody else sneak into the throne room and steal the Master Bolt? You'd have to be invisible"
"THAT BASTARD TRIED TO BLAME YOU!" Thalia yells as lightning sparks come from her fingers.
"Thals calm down. He didn't succeed", Annabeth tells her calmly.
"And get your lightning under control Sparky", Percy teases her.
Thalia growls but sits back down with a huff.
We were both silent, until Luke seemed to realize what he'd said.
"Oh, hey" he protests, "I didn't mean Annabeth. She and I have known each other forever. She would never . . . I mean, she's like a little sister to me"
I wondered if Annabeth would like that description. In the stall next to us, the music stopped completely. A man screamed in terror, car doors clammed and the Lincoln peeled out of the car wash.
Everyone bursts out laughing.
"What did you do to them?" Chris laughs.
Annabeth just smiles mysterious and doesn't say a word.
"You'd better go see what that was", Luke says, "Listen, are you wearing the flying shoes? I'll feel better if I know they've done you some good"
Percy snorts, "Of course you would. Drag me into Tartarus why don't you"
Poseidon looks at him in concern but doesn't comment.
For now.
"Oh . . . uh, yeah!" I try not to sound like a guilty liar, "Yeah, they've come in handy"
"Your such a bad liar", Hermes states, "How have you gotten by?"
"Just fine thank you"
"Really?" he grins, "They fit and everything?"
"He believed that!?" Hermes asks in disbelief.
"He did", Percy confirms.
Hermes groans, "I really need to teach that kid"
The water shut off. The mist started to evaporate.
"Well, take care of yourself out there in Denver", Luke calls, his voice getting fainter, "And tell Grover it'll be better this time! Nobody will get turned into a pine tree if he just –"
Thalia growls again at that, "I so what to punch that smug face bastard"
"Calm down", Nico tells her, "Your starting to sound like your Father"
Zeus glares, "And that is a bad thing?"
"YES!" many yell.
Zeus looks betrayed by them and slouches back into his throne.
But the mist was gone, and Luke's image faded to nothing. I was alone in a wet, empty car-wash stall.
Annabeth and Grover came around the corner, laughing but stopped when they saw my face. Annabeth's smile faded.
"What to spoil the mood Prissy", Clarisse tells him.
"What happened, Percy? What did Luke say?"
"Not much", I lie, my stomach feeling as empty as a Big Three Cabin, "Come on lets fine some dinner"
"Paragraph", Persephone informs them.
A few minutes layer, we were sitting at a booth in a gleaming chrome diner. All around us, families were eating burgers and drinking milkshakes and sodas.
Finally the waitress came over. She raised her eyebrow skeptically, "Well?"
I say, "We, um, want to order dinner"
"How can you do that? Your broke remember", Frank teases.
"Oh you'll see. A good part is coming up". Percy teases them.
Many lean in to hear the so-called 'good part'.
"You kids have money to pay for it?"
Grover's lower lip quivered. I was afraid he would start bleating, or worse, start eating the linoleum. Annabeth looked ready to pass out from hunger.
I was trying to think up a sob story for the waitress when a rumble shook the whole building;
"What is that?" Reyna wonders.
"A God your would be the least bit pleased with", Percy mutters.
a motorcycle's headlight glared red. Its gas tank had flames painted on it, and a shotgun holster riveted to either side, complete with shotguns. The seat was leather – but leather that looked like . . . well, Caucasian human skin.
"Lovely", Gwen winkles her nose in disgust.
The guy on the bike would've made pro wrestlers run for Mama. He was dressed in red muscle shirt and black jeans and a black leather duster, with a hunting knife strapped to his thigh. He wore red wraparound shades, and he had the cruellest, most brutal face I'd ever seen – handsome, I guess, but wicked – with an oily black crew cut and cheeks that were scarred from many, many fights. The weird thing was, I felt like I'd seen his face somewhere before.
"I think we can ALL guess who that is", Apollo states drily.
"And probably who he reminds you of", Hermes says with a smirk.
As he walked into the diner, a hot, dry wind blew through the place. All the people rose, as if they were hypnotized, but the biker waved his hand dismissively and they all say down again. Everybody went back to their conversations. The waitress blinked, as if somebody had just pressed the rewind button on her brain. She asked us again, "You kids have money to pay for it?"
The biker says, "It's on me", he slid into our booth, which was way too small for him, and crowded Annabeth against the window.
He looked up at the waitress, who was gaping at him, and says, "Are you still here?"
"Rude much", Meg mutters.
"He is about as rude a Dionysus", Percy mutters.
"What was that Punk?"
"What was the Brat?"
He pointed at her, and she stiffened. She turned as if she'd been spun around, then marched back towards the kitchen.
The biker looked at me. I couldn't see his eyes behind the red shades, but bad feelings started boiling in my stomach. Anger, resentment, bitterness. I wanted to hit a wall. I wanted to pick a fight with somebody. Who did this guy think he was?
"Ares! What are you doing interfering?" Zeus asks.
"How would I know? This is the future after all", Ares retorts, "And I guess it would be for a good reason"
"Good reason my ass", Grover mutters.
He gave me a wicked grin, "So you're old Seaweed's kid, huh?"
I should've been surprised, or scream but instead I felt like I was looking at my stepdad, Gabe. I wanted to rip this guy's head off, "What's it too you?"
"Your brave or foolish boy", Artemis states.
Annabeth's eyes flashed to me a warning, "Percy, this is –"
The biker raised his hand.
"S'okay", he says, "I don't mind a little attitude. Long as you remember who's the boss. You know who I am, little cousin?"
Then it stuck me why thus guy looked familiar. He had the same vicious sneer as some of the kids at Camp Half-Blood, the ones from Cabin Five.
"You're Clarisse's Dad", I say, "Ares, God of War"
"About time you got it brat", Dionysus states.
"You say that when you can't even say one kids name right at Camp?" Percy retorts.
Dionysus's eyes flash and Apollo and Hermes snicker.
Percy smirks. A point to him.
Ares grinned and took off his shades. Where his eyes should've been, there was only fire, empty sockets glowing with miniature nuclear explosions, "That's right, punk. I heard you broke Clarisse's spear"
"She was asking for it"
"Jackson", Clarisse growls.
"Probably. That's cool. I don't fight my kids' fights, you know? What I'm here for – I heard you were in town, I got a little proposition for you"
"Percy whatever it is don't do it", Poseidon advises.
"Dad this is the Past to me. So it is a bit late for that", Percy replies.
Poseidon groans at that.
The waitress came back with a heaping trays of food – cheeseburgers, fries, onion rings and chocolate shakes.
Ares handed her a few gold Drachmas.
She looked nervously at the coins, "But, there aren't . . . "
Ares pulled out his huge knife and started cleaning his fingernails, "Problems, sweetheart?"
"Ares", Artemis growls, "How dare you disrespect…"
"So what. As the punk said this is the past for him"
"I swear I am going to shove my bow where the…"
"ENOUGH! Artemis don't you dare finish that sentence. Persephone continue", Zeus orders.
The waitress swallowed, then left with the gold.
"You can't do that", I tell Ares, "you can't just threaten people with a knife"
Artemis raises an eyebrow at the Demigod. Standing up for a girl and a stranger no less, against the God of War. That was interesting.
Ares laughs, "Are you kidding? I love this country. Best place since Sparta. Don't you carry a weapon, punk? You should. Dangerous world out there. Which brings me to my proposition. I need you to do me a favour"
"What favour could I do for a God?"
"Something a God doesn't have time to do himself. It's nothing much. I left my shield at an abandoned water park here in town. I was going on a little . . . date with my girlfriend. We were interrupted. I left my shield behind. I want you to fetch it for me"
"Why don't you go back and get it yourself?"
"How are you able to stand up to the God of War?" Gwen asks.
Percy shrugs, "I don't have a problem with pissing off immortals"
"Isn't that true", Annabeth complains.
"Girlfriend he said. That must be Aphrodite…", Athena states.
Aphrodite smirks, "Oh Ares where did you take me this time?"
"How would I know woman? This is a few years in the future!"
Hephaestus glares at them, "You forgot one thing"
"What would that be?" Aphrodite asks completely oblivious.
Hephaestus shrugs, "I guess we'll find out"
The fire in his eye sockets glowed a little hotter.
"Why don't I turn you into prairie dog and run you over with my Harley? Because I don't feel like it. A God is giving you an opportunity to prove yourself, Percy Jackson. Will you prove yourself a coward?" he leans forward, "Or maybe you only fight when there's a river to dive into, so your Daddy can protect you"
I wanted to punch this guy, but somehow, I knew he was waiting for that. Ares's power was causing my anger. He'd love it if I attacked. I didn't want to give him the satisfaction.
Poseidon looks both shocked and proud of his son.
"How the Hades did you fend off his power?" Hermes asks shocked.
"Don't use my name as a swear word!"
"Percy seems to be powerful even at that age", Athena tells them, "Otherwise he would never have had the strength to fight of Ares power"
"Unbelievable", Hades mutters, "A child of Poseidon is one of the most powerful Demigods in an age"
Zeus didn't know how to feel about this. How should he feel when a child of your brother is so powerful but loyal to Olympus or was according to his daughter like a brother to her?
"We're not interested", I say, "We've already got a quest"
Ares's fiery eyes made me see things I didn't want to see – blood and smoke and corpses on the battlefield, "I know all about your quest, punk. When that item was first stolen. Zeus sent his best out looking for it: Apollo, Athena, Artemis and me, naturally.
Many snort at that.
"Your had less chance of finding it then Demeter", Apollo teases.
"What was that?" Demeter asks.
Apollo shrugs, "Just putting Ares brain in prospective"
"What are you saying about my son?" Hera asks.
"That he is a dimwit?"
"What? Do you think that boy can find it?" Hera asks pointing at Percy.
"Yes", many state.
"Humph he won't show any real brains here", Hera huffs.
And met the last person on his least favorite persons list.
"If I couldn't sniff out a weapon that powerful . . .", he licked his lips, as if the very thought of the Master Bolt made him hungry, "Well . . . if I couldn't find it, you got no hope. Nevertheless. I'm trying to give you the benefit of a doubt. Your Dad and I go way back. After all, I'm the one who told him my suspicions about old Corpse Breath"
"You told him Hades stole the bolt?"
"Sure. Framing somebody to start a war. Oldest trick in the book. I recognized it immediately. In a way, you got me to thank for your little quest"
"I will thank you when well freezes over", Percy mutters.
"Thanks", I grumble.
"Hey, I'm a generous guy.
Again many people snort at that.
"What Percy said. When hell freezes over we will believe that", Hermes chuckles.
"Got to agree with Prissy on that", Clarisse admits.
Ares doesn't even seem bothered by what his daughter just said.
"Just do my little job, and I'll help you on your way. I'll arrange a ride west for you and your friends"
"We're doing fine on our own"
"Yeah, right. No money. No wheels. No clue what you're up against. Help me out, and maybe I'll tell you something you need to know. Something about your Mum"
"My Mum?"
He grins, "That got your attention. The water park is a mile west on Delancy. You can't miss it. Look for the Tunnel of Love ride"
"What interrupted your date?" I ask, "Something scare you off?"
Ares bared his teeth, but I'd seen his threatening look before on Clarisse. There was something false about it, almost like he was nervous.
The Gods eyes widen. How could he read Ares so easily?
"I am never nervous punk. So your wrong", Ares tells him.
"Believe what you want to believe", Percy retorts, "Whatever makes you feel better when you sleep at night"
Ares growls at Percy's taunting.
"You're lucky you met me, Punk, and not one of the other Olympians. They're not as forgiving of rudeness as I am. I'll meet you back here when you're done. Don't disappoint me"
After that I must have fainted, or fallen into a trance, because when I opened my eyes again Ares was gone. I might've thought the conversation had been a dream, but Annabeth and Grover's expressions told me otherwise.
"Not good", Grover says, "Are sought you out, Percy. This is not good"
"When isn't it good when a God sought me out?" Percy asks them.
"Point", many of the Demigods say.
I stared out the window. The motorcycle had disappeared.
Did Ares really know something about my Mum, or was he just playing with me?
"Don't trust whatever he tells you about your Mum", Poseidon tells him.
"I wouldn't even trust my Dad", Frank points out.
"Me either", Clarisse admits.
Percy raises an eyebrow did they have to say what he said about a hundred times so far?
Now that he was gone, all the anger had drained out of me. I realized Ares must love to mess with people's emotions. That was his power – cranking up passions so badly, they clouded your ability to think.
"It's probably some kind of rick", I say, "Forget Ares. Let's just go"
"We can't", Annabeth says, "Look, I hate Ares as much as anybody, but you don't ignore the Gods unless you want serious bad fortune. He wasn't kidding about turning you into a rodent"
I looked down at my cheeseburger, which suddenly didn't seem so appetizing, "Why does he need us?"
"Maybe it's a problem that requires brains", Annabeth says, "Ares has strength. That's all he has. Even strength had to bow to wisdom sometimes"
Athena smiles proudly at her daughter, while Ares glares.
"But this water park . . . he acted almost scared. What would make a War God run away like that?"
"I WOULD not run away!"
Annabeth and Grover glance nervously at each other.
Annabeth says, "I'm afraid we'll have to find one"
"Great", Pollux grumbles.
The sun was sinking behind the mountains by the time we found the water park. Judging from the sign, it once had been called WATERLAND, but now some of the letters were smashed out, so it read: WAT R A D.
The main gate was padlocked and topped with barded wire. Inside, huge dry waterslides and tubes and pipes curled everywhere, leading to empty pools. Old tickets and advertisements fluttered around the tarmac. With night coming on, the place looked sad and creepy.
"Why would you take a date there?" Piper asks scrunching up her nose.
"If Ares brings his girlfriend here for a date", I say, staring up at the barbered wire, "I'd hate to see what she looks like"
"Percy", Annabeth warns, "Be more respectful"
"Why? I thought you hated Ares"
"He's still a God. And his girlfriend is very temperamental"
"You don't want to insult her looks", Grover warns.
"You better now insult my looks!" Aphrodite warns.
"I am sure I have down that a hundred times by name", Percy mutters.
Grover elbows him.
"Who is she? Echidna?"
"WHAT?!"
"No, Aphrodite", Grover says, a little dreamily, "Goddess of Love"
"I thought she was married to somebody", I say, "Hephaestus"
"Barely", Hephaestus mumbles.
Hera glares at him.
And Percy glares at him.
"What's your point?" he asks.
"Oh", I suddenly felt the need to change the subject, "So how do we get in?"
"Maia!" Grover's shows sprouted wings.
He flew over the fence, did an unintended somersault in midair, then stumbled to a landing on the opposite side. He dusted off his jeans, as if he'd planned the whole thing, "You guys coming?"
Annabeth and I had to climb the old-fashioned way, holding down the barbed wire for each other as we crawled over the top.
The shadows grew long as we walked through the park, checking out the attractions. There was Ankle Biter Island, Head Over Wedgie and Dude, Where's my Swimsuit?"
"No wonder that place go closed down", Will laughs.
"I sure won't want to be taken there", Calypso states.
"It IS pretty bad", Clarisse admits.
Ares just huffs.
No monsters came to get us. Nothing made the slightest noise.
We found a souvenir shop that had been left open Merchandise still lined the shelves: snow globes, pencils, postcards and racks of –
"Clothes", Annabeth says, "Fresh clothes"
"Yeah", I say, "But you can't just –"
"Watch me"
She snatched an entire row of stuff of the racks and disappeared into the changing room. A few minutes later she came out in Waterland flower-printed shorts, a big red Waterland T-shirt and commemoratives Waterland surf shoes. A Waterland backpack was slung over her shoulder, obviously stuffed with more goodies.
"Urg! That is terrible", Aphrodite shudders.
"All we had access too. Anything would work just to get out of those clothes", Annabeth shrugs.
"What the heck?" Grover shrugs.
Soon, all three of us were decked out like walking advertisements for the defunct theme pack.
We continued searching for the Tunnel of Love. I got the feeling that the whole park was holding its breath.
"So Ares and Aphrodite", I say, to keep my mind off the growing darkness, "they have a thing going:
"That's old gossip, Percy", Annabeth tells me, "Three-thousand-year-old gossip"
"What about Aphrodite's husband?"
Hephaestus's eyes widen at the Demigod actually asking about him. Nobody else had ever bothered to act concerned about him and nearly ask how he feels about it.
"Well, you know", she says, "Hephaestus. The blacksmith. He was crippled when he was a baby, thrown off Mount Olympus by Zeus. So he isn't exactly handsome. Clever with his hands and all, but Aphrodite isn't into brains and talent, you know?"
"She likes bikers?"
"Whatever"
"Hephaestus knows?"
"Oh sure", Annabeth says, "He caught them together once. I mean , literally caught them, in a golden net, and invited all the Gods to come and laugh at them. Hephaestus is always trying to embarrass them. That's why they meet in out-of-the-way places, like . . ."
"Yes you get it. Smart girl", Hephaestus states smiling.
"It was basically too late to turn back through", Annabeth replies.
"And their out-of-the-way places are anything like that", Demeter grumbles.
Many nods at that including Hestia.
She stopped, looking straight ahead, "Like that"
In front of us was an empty pool that would've been awesome for skateboarding. It was at least fifty metres across and shaped like a bowl.
Around the rim, a dozen bronze statues of Cupid stood guard with wings spread and bows ready to fire. On the opposite side from us, a tunnel opened up, probably where the water flowed into when the pool was full. The sign about it read. THRILL RIDE O' LOVE: THIS IS NOT YOUR PARENTS' TUNNEL OF LOVE!
Grover crept towards the edge, "Guys, look"
Marooned at the bottom of the pool was a pink-and-white two-seater boat with a canopy over the top and little hearts painted all over it. In the left seat, glinting in the fading light, was Ares's shield, a polished circle of bronze.
"This is too easy", I say, "So we just walk down there and get it?"
"If it is too easy something is wrong", Reyna states.
"Yeh as I said hindsight is 20/20", Percy replies.
Annabeth ran her fingers along the base of the nearest Cupid statue.
"There's a Greek letter carved here", she says, "Eta, I wonder . . ."
"Grover", I say, "you smell any monsters?"
He sniffed the wind, "Nothing"
"Nothing – like, in-the-Arch-and-you-didn't-smell-Echidna nothing, or really nothing?"
Grover looked hurt, "I told you, that was underground"
"Percy", Thalia scolds.
"That WAS mean", the Strolls point out.
"I was just a little frustrated", Percy replies, "But I know that shouldn't be an excuse to treat a friend that way"
"Okay, I'm sorry", I took a deep breath, "I'm going down there"
"I'll go with you", Grover didn't sound too enthusiastic, but got the feeling he was trying to make up for what had happened in St Louis.
"No", I told him, "I want you to stay up top with the flying shoes. You're the Red Baron, remember? I'll be counting on you for backup, in case something goes wrong"
"Good plan", Athena nods, "But it could…"
"Lady Athena this already happened to us. So we can't change the plan", Percy reminds her.
Grover puffed up his chest a little, "Sure. But what could go wrong?"
Everyone groans.
"Why does at least one of you have to jink yourself?" Nico asks them rhetorically.
"I don't know. Just a feeling. Annabeth, come with me –"
"You and you bloody instincts Percy", Chris states.
"Always right. Never wrong", Katie states.
"We have been saved dozens of times because of them", Travis states.
"And saved because of the 'Jackson' Luck too", Conner adds.
Percy rolls his eyes at them.
"Are you kidding?" she looks at me as if I'd just dropped from the moon. Her cheeks were bright red.
"What's the problem now?" I demanded.
"Me, go with you to the . . . the 'Thrill Ride of Love'? How embarrassing is that? What if somebody saw me"
"Who is going to see you?" Reyna asks.
"You would be surprised", Annabeth mutters, thinking about what would happen next.
"Who's going to see you?" but my face was burning now, too. Leave it to a girl to make everything complicated, "Fine", I tell her, "I'll do it myself", but when I started down the side if the pool, she followed me, muttering about how boys always messed things up.
"Too true", the other girls say.
"You don't need boys anyway", Artemis tells them.
"We are not all eternal virgins or celebrant", Demeter points out.
We reached the boat. The shield was propped on one seat, and next to it was a lady's silk scarf. I tried to imagine Ares and Aphrodite here, a couple of Gods meeting in a junked-out amusement-park ride. Why? Then I noticed something I hadn't seen from up top: mirrors all the way around the rim of the pool, facing this spot.
"There is something off about those mirrors", Athena states thinking about what it could be.
We could see ourselves no matter which direction we looked. That must be it. While Ares and Aphrodite were smooching with each other they could look at their favorite people: themselves.
Snickers come from around the room. It was true they did care about themselves too much. But those mirrors weren't for watching themselves it was for all of Olympus to watch.
I picked up the scarf. It shimmered pink, and the perfume was indescribable – rose, or mountain laurel. Something good. I smiled, a little dreamy, and was about to rub the scarf against my cheek
Aphrodite was smirking now. Poseidon was glaring at her with daggers in his eyes.
"If you do anything to my…"
"DAD! I would NEVER go to her. Drop it and let's continue!"
when Annabeth ripped it out of my hand and stuffed it in her pocket. "Oh, no you don't. Stay away from that love magic"
"What?"
"Just get the shield, Seaweed Brain, and let's get out of here"
"Good idea", Frank says.
"But it won't be that simple", Hazel points out, "It never really is"
The moment I touched the shield, I knew we were in trouble, My hand broke through something that had been connecting it to the dashboard. A cobweb, I thought, but then I looked at a strand of it on my palm and saw it was some kind of metal filament, so fine it was almost invisible. A tripwire.
"Damn", many mumble.
"Wait", Annabeth says.
"Too late"
"There's another Greek letter on the side of the boat, another Eta. This is a trap"
"State the obvious Anneliese Beth", Dionysus says lazily.
The Greek Demigods just roll their eyes. He was so predicable. Didn't he have anything new by now?
Noise erupted all around us, of a million gears grinding, as if the whole pool were turning into one giant machine.
Grover yells, "Guys!"
Up on the rim, the Cupid statues were drawing their bows into firing position. Before I could suggest taking cover, they shot, but not at us. They fired at each other, across the rim of the pool. Silky cables trailed from the arrows, arching over the pool and anchoring where they landed to form a huge golden asterisk. Then smaller metallic threads started weaving together magically between the main strands, making a net.
"Meant to stop a God. Ingenious", Hephaestus says in awe of his future self.
"We have to get out", I say.
"Duh!" Annabeth says.
I grabbed the shield and we ran, but going up the slope of the pool was not as easy as going down.
"Come on!" Grover shouts.
He was trying to hold open a section of the net for us, but wherever he touched it, the golden threads started to wrap around his hands.
The Cupids' heads popped open. Out came video cameras.
"Hephaestus Cam", many of the Gods mutters.
Hephaestus held onto a smirk. He would have been happy two catch Aphrodite and Ares but he felt a bit bad from catching and probably embarrassing these Demigods. Especially one that showed him some concern.
Spotlights rose up all around the pool, blinding us with illumination, and a loudspeaker voice boomed, "Live on Olympus in one minute . . . Fifty-Nine seconds, Fifty-Eight . . ."
The Gods and Roman's eyes widen.
"This was filmed live to the whole of Olympus?" Meg asks.
"Yes", Percy says looking embarrassed.
"Brilliant! My future self is a genius", Ares states smugly.
Really Ares was an asshole was it a wonder he was on his least of his least favorite Gods?
"Hephaestus!" Annabeth screams, "I'm so stupid! Eta is 'H'. He made this trap to catch his wife with Ares, Now we're going to be broadcast live to Olympus and look like absolute fools!"
We'd almost made it to the rim when the row of mirrors opened like hatches and thousands of tiny metallic . . . things poured out.
Annabeth screams.
It was an army of wind-up creepy-crawlies: bronze-gear bodies, spindly legs, little pincer mouths, all scuttling towards us in a wave of clacking, whirring metal.
"Spiders!" Annabeth says, "Sp – sp – aaaah!"
Athena shudders, "It had to be spiders"
Annabeth was shuddering two even through she had already lived through this. Percy puts his arms around her to comfort her. He knew she was really effect by spiders by now because of a certain recent encounter.
I'd never seen her like this before.
"You have only known her a few days", Leo laughs.
Percy rolls his eyes at him.
She fell backwards in terror and almost got overwhelmed by the spider robots before I pulled her up and dragged her back towards the boat.
The things were coming out from all around the rum now, millions of them, flooding towards the centre of the pool,
"Are you sure you weren't trying to catch Athena?" Apollo jokes.
Hephaestus shrugs, "I won't do Athena. She has done nothing to me"
completely surrounding us. I told myself they probably weren't programmed to kill, just corral us and bite us and make us look stupid. Then again, this was a trap meant got God. And we weren't Gods.
Annabeth and I climbed into the boat. I started kicking away the spider as they swarmed aboard. I yell at Annabeth to help me, but she was too paralyzed to do much more than scream.
"Thirty, twenty-nine", called the loudspeaker.
The spiders started out strands of metal thread, trying to tie us down, The strands were easy enough to break at first, but there was so many of them, and the spiders just keep coming. I kicked one away from Annabeth's leg and its pincers took a chunk out of my new surf shoe.
Grover hovered above the pool in his flying trainers, trying to pull the next loose, but it wouldn't budge.
Think, I told myself. Think.
"Don't hurt yourself Perce", Thalia teases.
"Don't make yourself have a headache", Nico teases.
"Or an aneurysm", Thalia adds.
"Or a stroke", Nico adds.
"Okay I get it you too. Why don't you be quite so we can finish this chapter", Percy tells them exasperated.
The Tunnel of Love entrance was under the net. We could use it as an exit, except that it was blocked by a million robot spiders.
"Did you have to do so many?" Athena shudders.
"Fifteen, fourteen", the loudspeaker calls.
Water, I thought. Where does the ride's water come from?
"Good idea", Athena grudgingly admits.
Then I saw them: huge water pipes behind the mirrors, where the spiders had come from. And up above the next, next to one of the Cupids, a glass-windowed booth that must be the controller's station.
"Grover!" I yell, "Get into the booth! Find the 'on' switch!"
"But –"
"Do it!" it was a crazy hope, but it was out only chance.
The spiders were all over the prow of the boat now, Annabeth was screaming her head off. I had to get us out of here.
Grover was in the controller's booth now, slamming away at the buttons.
"Five, four –"
Grover looked up at me hopelessly, raising his hands. He was letting me know that he'd pushed every button, but still nothing was happening.
"How do you get out of this one that? Your not that smart to haven't figured it out yet", Hera tells him.
I closed my eyes and though about waves, rushing water, the Mississippi River. I felt a familiar tug in my gut. I tried to imagine that I was dragging the ocean all the way from Denver.
"That would be impossible son", Poseidon laughs even if it was so tense, "But you seem to be getting a feel for your powers"
"Two, one, zero!"
Water exploded out of the pipes. It roared into the pool sweeping away the spiders. I pulled Annabeth into the seat next to me and fastened her seatbelt just as the tidal wave slammed into our boat, over the top, whisking the spiders away and dousing us completely, but bot capsizing us. The boat turned, lifted in the flood, and spun in circles around the whirlpool.
The water was full of short-circuiting spiders, some of them smashing against the pool's concrete wall with such force they burst.
Spotlights glared down at us. The Cupid-cams were rolling, live on Olympus.
"I beat that was a show", Hermes laughs with Apollo.
"I wonder how much Pops enjoyed it", Apollo laughs.
But I could only concentrate on controlling the boat. I willed it to ride the current, to keep away from the wall. Maybe it was my imagination, but the boat seemed to respond. At least, it didn't break into a million pieces. We spun around one last time, the water level now almost high enough to shred us against the metal net. Then the boat's nose turned towards the tunnel and we rocketed through into the darkness.
Annabeth and I held tight, both of us screaming as the boat shot curls and hugged corners and took forty-five degree plunges past pictures of Romeo and Juliet and a bunch if other Valentine's Day stuff.
Then we were out of the tunnel, the night air whistling through out hair as the boat barreled straight towards the exit.
If the ride had been in working order, we would've sailed off a ramp between the golden Gates of Love and splashed down safely in the exit pool. But there was a problem. The Gates of Love were chained. Two boats that had been washed out of the tunnel before us were now piled against the barricade – one submerged, the other cracked in half.
"Unfasten your seat belt", I yell to Annabeth.
"Are you crazy?" Leila asks.
"Are you crazy?"
"Unless you want to get smashed to death", I strapped Ares's shield to my arm, "We're going to jump for it"
My idea was simple and insane. As the boat struck, we would use its force like a springboard to jump the gate. I'd heard of people surviving car crashes that way, getting thrown ten or fifteen metres away from an accident. With luck, we would land in the pool.
Annabeth seemed to understand. She gripped my hand as the gates got closer.
"When I say go", I say.
"No! When I say go!"
"Now is not the time to argue Annie", Thalia says to her.
"I was rattled so sue me"
"What?"
"Simple physics!" she yells, "Force times the trajectory angle –"
"Geez Annabeth your about to be killed shorten it or just do it", Nico says.
"Fine!" I shout, "When you say do!"
She hesitated . . . hesitated . . . the yelled, "Now!"
Crack!
Annabeth was right. If we'd jumped when I though we should've, we would've crashed into the gates.
A little bit of laughter comes from that.
She got us maximum lift.
Unfortunately, that was a little more than we needed. Our boat smashed into the pileup and we were thrown into the air, straight over the gates, over the pool, and down towards solid tarmac.
Something grabbed me from behind.
Annabeth yells, "Ouch!"
"Our you alright?" Hestia asks worriedly.
"We were fine", Percy assured her.
Grover!
In midair, he had grabbed me by the shirt, and Annabeth by the arm, and was trying to pull us out of a crash landing, but Annabeth and I had all the momentum.
"You're too heavy", Grover says, "We're going down!"
We spiraled towards the ground, Grover doing his best to slow the fall.
We smashed into a photo-board, Grover's head going straight into the hole where the tourists would put their faces, pretending to be Noo-Noo the Friendly Whale. Annabeth and I tumbled to the ground, banged up but alive. Ares's shield was still on my arm.
"At least you still have it and all of this is not to waist", Poseidon sighs even though he didn't like it.
"Where you alright after that heavy landing?" Hestia asks again.
"Just some bumps and bruises", Annabeth assures her.
Once we caught our breath, Annabeth and I got Grover out of the photo-board and thanked him for saving out lives. I looked back at the Thrill Ride of Love. The water was subsiding, Our boat had been smashed to pieces against the gates.
"How on earth did you get away with that without serious injury?" Will asks rhetorically.
A hundred metres away, at the entrance pool, the Cupids were still filming. The statues had swiveled so that their cameras were trained straight on us, the spotlights in our faces.
"Show's over", I yell, "Thank you! Goodnight!"
Many roar with laughter at that.
But Zeus didn't know what to think about that.
The Cupids turned back to their original positions. The lights shut off. The park went quiet and dark again, except for the gentle trickle of water into the Thrill Ride of Love's exit pool. I wondered if Olympus had gone to a commercial break, or if our ratings had been any good.
I hated being teased. I hated being tricked, Abd I had plenty of experience handling bullies who liked to do that stuff to me. I hefted the shield on my arm and turned to my friends.
"We need to have a talk with Ares"
"That is the end of that chapter", Persephone announces.
"What a chapter", Apollo says.
"Hephaestus…", Poseidon starts.
"Dad don't", Percy butts in.
"Why?" Poseidon asks.
"It is NOT his fault. If its anyone's it is Ares. As he knew that place was booby trapped and sent us in there to humiliate us in front of Olympus. So if it is anyone's fault is his. And his and Aphrodite's fault for doing that so publicly", Percy replies with reason.
"My fault!" Aphrodite says.
"It won't be my sons fault", Hera states.
"Just kill the brat for his incompetence", Dionysus states.
"That was a alarming display of power. What if…", Zeus starts.
"What did you mean it was my fault?" Ares asks.
Percy sighs this is why these 5 were his least favourite Gods.
Least favourite Ares.
Dionysus.
Hera.
Aphrodite.
Zeus.
There were pretty good reasons for them to be in that order. But that was a too long of list to go through…
Author's Note: What do you think? Please Review:)