My sleep was deep, but it was not peaceful. I was plagued with horrid dreams, stuffed to the brim like a ravioli of anxiety. It was raining inside, I remember, and there were ghosts everywhere, snickering and giggling. King Boo's tired eyes glared into mine from the dark, soon engulfed in Bowser's rampaging flames.
And somehow, deep in those nightmares, I saw a hidden figure. Nothing more than a giant smiling face, laughing and laughing, but at what? I didn't know. Playful yet horrifying honking exploded in my ears.
Then there was red. A nose? A hat?
Red used to be so calming. So peaceful. It used to mean safety. And in my dream, it was for a while. But only for a while. It jumped headfirst into trouble. There was an inexplicable low rumbling, growing louder and louder. It was deafening. I felt it in my spine.
"YAHOO!" the red shouted. But it was wrong. So… wrong! That wasn't his voice. That wasn't… "Wahahaha! Wakey wakey, eggs and bakey!"
I shot up out of my bed with a shriek. In a rush of adrenaline, I stumbled to my door and practically tumbled out of my room, hoping to escape whatever earthquake causing gremlin had invaded.
"Come on-a-downstairs for some breakfast as a treat from yours truly! Wario!" he shouted, thundering down the hallways on a horrid motorcycle. It almost produced as much smoke and gas as him. "Not like you got anything better to do, eh? Wahahaha! All expenses paid, too! Paidbyyouinfullwhenyourecieveyourbillinthemaillater."
Hm…?
"By the way! No breakfast if you're the thief! You should just turn yourself in! I know you're-a-in here somewhere you dirty rotten…" Wario's voice drifted away into the depths of this gaudy hotel as he drove up the stairs and to the next floor to continue screaming.
It wasn't long before Daisy's door creaked open, revealing a groggy and messy Daisy. She limped out into the hallway, rubbing her eyes. Her hair was a frizzy mess. I gave her a polite greeting, but she didn't notice me. She yawned, went back to her room, and slammed the door. If I didn't know Daisy, I'd think she was mad at me, but she's always like this in the morning. She's slept through several fire alarms and at times pulled the fire alarm out of the ceiling to shut it off while a fire was still raging before going back to sleep. That's a story for later.
Down the hall I heard another door open. More than a few guests were trying to see what the ruckus was about.
"Wario wasn't seriously driving a motorcycle through here, was he…?" a sleepy Goombella asked from behind the door.
Toadette was the one checking, her mushroom braids unbraided and un-mushroomed. "Tire tracks to prove it…" she groaned, bags under her eyes. They were staying in the same room together. But shouldn't they have had separate invitations…?
I fled into my room before she or any of the other grumpy guests could see me. This wasn't just a case of social anxiety anymore. This was a case of shame. They had to still be mad at me, and they had every right to be.
And besides, I still needed to get myself ready for the day.
I unpacked my mustache grooming kit at the bathroom mirror. I gave myself a quick glance. Bags under my eyes again. Well. That wasn't the focus here. I dipped my hands in some warm water, gave myself a dash of shampoo and conditioner and cleaned up my fuzzy 'stache. Ah, already looking silky smooth. Comb it a little bit here… a few snips to trim it there… and some finishing mustache wax to keep it in place… and done!
I've never been particularly proud of my body, but my mustache? That was something I knew looked good. It was about as puffy and bouncy as a cloud and it felt like one, too! I would never let my mustache fall into disrepair. I couldn't.
Mario was the one who taught me the importance of mustache care after all. It wasn't a matter of looking good to him. It wasn't a matter of being presentable to anyone. He had always said that your mustache is for yourself. Maybe you have good days. Maybe you have bad days. On those bad days maybe you can't eat right, maybe you can't get into the shower, but always take care of your mustache.
It'll help, he said. Even at your worst, you can look into the mirror, clean it up, comb it, and it'll be sparkling like new. Mustaches are hard at the start, but once you have it grown in just the way you like, all it takes is a bit of upkeep every day. It's pretty easy if you think of it that way. Do just a little bit each morning and you'll save yourself a whole lot of trouble, look great, and not have to do much.
If you stop taking care of your mustache, though—Then it'll get hairy. It'll get messy. It'll get harder and harder to fix. It won't just be a few trims or a cleaning. So keep at it, Luigi. Every day. You'll see the difference; you'll feel the difference. Trust me.
And he was right. Even at the worst times, I can always take pride in my mustache. Sometimes it's hard to motivate myself, but I know every day I don't do it is another day of work I'll have to deal with. It's easier to just take a tiny bit on every day. Even I could understand the logic in that. Never look away.
Even if I don't describe it every day, you can bet your blue shell I'll be taking care of my mustache every day at some point.
Perfect! I was feeling a bit better already. Even if I was stuck in this hotel with criminals and my friends hated me, at least my mustache looked great! Breakfast suddenly sounded like a good idea now that I was up and moving. If I was going to stay out of trouble and keep to my room all day, I'd need a bit of energy!
As I stepped back out into the hallway, I couldn't help but feel another shiver climb up my spine like a hidden vine block. This was becoming quite the common experience, but I couldn't see anyone.
"Oho! Luigi!" a strange yet familiar voice called out. Eh? Suddenly a wrinkly old hand pulled me in through the door across mine. It slammed shut, locking me into this gloomy lit room full of flashing electronics and other spooky gadgets. "There you are! I thought I'd never get a hold of you! You're more slippery than a Boo!"
Professor Elvin Gadd gave me a big toothy smile. And by toothy, I mean tooth. One tooth. His swirly glasses seemed to swirl in the murky dusk of his hotel room. I waved and gave a polite, "Hello," to him, which is kind of the best you'll get from me, especially considering he just kidnapped me.
"I had a feeling I'd see you here!" E. Gadd said, his tiny body nearly tumbling over with those strange overly fast laughs of his. "Wherever there's trouble, wherever there's ghosts, you can always bet Luigi is somewhere to be found!"
I shook my head. It's not like I ever wanted to be in these situations!
"What's that? You never want to be in these situations you say?" E. Gadd let out another laugh like it was the funniest thing he'd heard in a while. He was always quite good at understanding me. I suppose it's because he's a fellow mumbler too. "You certainly find yourself in trouble quite a bit if that's the case! Rather suspicious, don't you think?"
Nothing suspicious about it! I've just got horrible luck.
Again, he laughed. E. Gadd waddled over to one of his lab chairs and took a comfy seat. I noticed a hotel chair pushed over to the side without a care in the world. E. Gadd always felt much more comfortable in devices of his own creation. As I took the chair for myself, I noted that he had already made the room his own quite quickly.
E. Gadd's pillows were stuffed with cash. Dollar bills to be specific. An odd currency, considering most everything is handled with coins, but you'll see the occasional rich guy whip out that stylish green paper. It's a good color at least. Little do-dads and failed tinkering experiments were strewn across the floors, desks, and even the walls. Strange little spires pulsated with plasma blue electricity, and domes bursted with other-worldly energy. E. Gadd kept to himself much like me, but he was always so busy working on something.
"Now then, we're all in quite a predicament, are we not?" E. Gadd said, pulling a lever on his chair to point it in my direction. "Wario's invitation to his new hotel was quite the catch! A nice place to rest, some good food, it all sounded wonderful, yes." He shook his head, as if he didn't actually believe in anything he just said. "Although I will say, the real reason I was here was to see the up-and-coming Dr. Crygor in action! I had heard he'd been studying anti-ghost technology and I was quite intrigued."
I nodded. Everyone always seemed to give me their life story, but I didn't mind.
"Hoho, seems I got my wish, eh Luigi?" He laughed again and kicked his little feet in the air. For an old man, he could be as cute as a plushy sometimes. "Not to mention there's quite a bit of interesting treasure..." He wringed his hands together. If I could see past his swirly glasses and read those little beady eyes of his, I'm sure they'd be money bags.
This did seem all rather convenient for E. Gadd, didn't it? I looked at the gold bars stuffed haphazardly under his bedframe. I saw the coins practically dripping out of his wardrobe, even a few hiding behind the wallpaper.
"But! That's beside the point. We need to get out of here, don't we?" E. Gadd said. He so often said 'we' when he meant me. Luigi. "I'm sure I can count on you to explore the hotel and solve its mysteries, yes? There's clearly much more to this place than they let on. Maybe you'll even find a bit of treasure for your own on the way, hm?"
No! That'd be stealing! That's the whole issue here!
"Ah. I suppose you're right. This isn't quite a haunted hotel, is it? Ghosts may not care much for their material possessions, but Wario and King Boo do!"
Speaking of King Boo… haven't I captured him multiple times? Shouldn't he be gone or stuck in a vacuum somewhere?
E. Gadd sighed and adjusted his glasses. "Ah, Luigi! So innocent, so youthful. You remind me of myself back when I was a young man." I'm middle-aged though… "As I'm sure you know, we live in a civilized society! Ghosts and Boos and the like are people, too! You can't keep them trapped in a vacuum for all eternity just because they've taken up residence in a place you want for your own or because they turn your friends and family into spiffy oil paintings."
That last one was oddly specific and actually a good reason to keep them locked away.
"Ghosts live in a fascinating society all on their own, you know!" E. Gadd nodded. "Why do you think I study them so much? If I ever pass on, I'll be sure to fit right in, hohoho!" If… "My point is, though, there's rules! There's bureaucracy! Or rather… Booaucracy! Hohoho! And King Boo is the king of it! You can't keep him locked up for long without the ghost police coming to knock at your door in the middle of the night."
He went on, strange quack noises splashing drops of spittle as he talked. "And let me tell you! They don't need a warrant to come drifting through our world of the living! It'd have given me quite the fright if I wasn't so used to it. So, as it turns out, a 'fair trial' is needed before you can lock up the leader of all things undead! Who knew, right?" He laughed. "I knew! But that's okay, the ghost police certainly don't need that information."
Hm. A fair trial… I suspected King Boo's trial was probably much 'fairer' than most.
"And you'd be right!" E. Gadd went on cheerily. "That boisterous Boo was back out in the afterlife after paying a hefty ghost bail." E. Gadd shrugged. "What can you do, hm? Not so surprisingly, the ghost police haven't come after some of the lesser-known ghosts I still keep. I've been mulling over freeing them myself. It's quite sad when you think about it," he said with a smile.
I nodded. E. Gadd's heart was in the right place. I think.
He placed a hand on his round chin, deep in thought. "It would have been convenient if Dr. Crygor's ingenious anti-ghost field had trapped only King Boo in here, wouldn't it? Quite the deserving punishment for such a grizzly ghoul." He pondered for a moment, as if trying to work the errors out of this situation. As if it could have been handled better. "Yet here we all are, trapped as well. What a failure."
Er… but did E. Gadd have any leads? Any information to give me on this mystery? I kept this next part to myself, but I couldn't help but think he gave me more information than he meant.
"Oho! Interested now, are you? I knew we could count on you, Luigi." E. Gadd eyed me with a grin.
No! I never said I would get involved! I was just curious.
"Well, as for the culprit, I haven't the foggiest!" He laughed, as if our lives didn't hinge on figuring out where that Pot of Luxeville had gone. "I will say, I'm always quite suspicious of those ghost fellows. King Boo is a spiteful man. That Vivian character with him is dubious as well. Is that one even a ghost…?"
I couldn't disagree. King Boo had the perfect motive to try and get back at Wario, and in a sense, me. It's quite like him to come up with a plan and not think it all the way through. It stands to reason he never knew about the anti-ghost field technology, especially considering his surprise to it yesterday.
But Vivian…? I didn't know her well, but she seemed so sweet. Maybe she found herself in the wrong crowd, maybe she had trouble saying no. I could understand that. If she was involved, it couldn't be because she was malicious.
"Lost in thought, my boy?" E. Gadd said, snapping me out of it. He was as pleased as a poltergeist in a pottery palace.
I shook my head. No! I'm still not a detective! I'm still not a hero! I just have nothing better to do. But… on that subject… did E. Gadd happen to have any other interesting information? Did he see what happened last night?
"This shouldn't come as a shock to you, Luigi, but my eyes aren't what they used to be. When the lights went out, I wasn't able to see what happened."
That made sense. But did he have any other thoughts about the situation?
E. Gadd smirked. "I don't know if it will be any help, but I was also invited on the basis that the brightest minds would be here! Dr. Crygor for sure fits that description, but I thought there was another… I thought I even saw him out there, but… hm…"
Saw him? Who?
E. Gadd snapped back into his chair, glasses swirling. "Oh, goodness! Your thinking-out-loud style of thoughts seemed to have infected me. I can't be sure of anything just yet. I don't think it would be pertinent to your case until I know for sure."
Case!? This isn't a case! This isn't anything! Stop thinking I'm going to solve a mystery!
"Hohoho! Of course, of course, Luigi!" E. Gadd flopped happily in his over-sized chair. He didn't believe me. Well! I'd prove him wrong! "How about I give you my Poltergust just in case, hm?"
I don't… I'm not! No!
"Come come, don't be such a negative-world Nancy! I insist! It comes with all sorts of useful features that'd be sure to help out in a pinch!"
Well… it is for safety purposes, right? And I could always use another trusty vacuum to clean…
"Perfect, perfect! Just what I was hoping you'd say!" He pulled a few levers here and there, brought his chair to the closet, came back and shoved a shiny vacuum into my arms. "I'm sure you won't even need it, what with all your friends around to help you, but just in case, take one anyway."
Hm… is that what it looks like to him?
"That being said, you know the basics of a trusty Poltergust, and that should be all you need! King Boo won't get in your way nearly as much. Think of it like carrying around a big sword. No one has to know you don't want to use it! All they need to see is you have one and they'll think twice before bothering you."
I suppose that was a nice way of thinking about it. I didn't want to frighten anybody, but if it kept King Boo off my case for even a little bit, then maybe it would be worth it. I slipped my arms through the straps and placed the device snuggly at my back. It always surprised me how good it felt to be there. It wasn't a heavy device!
"Now! Go on and get out of here! You've got a mystery to solve, and I must stay focused and figure out how to turn off this security device in the very likely outcome that you fail! Goodbye, Luigi! It was nice seeing you again!"
"Bye-bye," was all I managed to say before he slammed the door and left me outside the hallway. A bit rude, but he did just give me a cool thing, so I couldn't complain.
Wait! I never agreed to solve…!
Oh! Whatever. He wouldn't have heard me anyway. But I am NOT solving a mystery! I'll keep my eyes peeled! Maybe! Even then, no promises!
I made my way back to the dining hall for breakfast. It wasn't nearly as fancy as the night before and not nearly as packed. Some guests, like E. Gadd, were staying in their room, but more than a few had come down to eat, or in Bowser's case, come down to complain.
"Listen to me, you bootleg son of a b—"
"Ahem. Remember our talk, Your Sexistness."
"Urk! Sorry, Kammy." Bowser shook his head and resumed his terrifying pointing at Wario. His claws were polished to look sharper than any sword I've seen. "You bootleg son of a bi…big idiot! Yeah. Anyways, listen to me. I cannot make this clearer. You had better let me out of this stinky hellhole or there WILL be trouble!"
Wario batted Bowser's claw away without so much as a shiver. Even Mario wasn't that brave. Maybe this wasn't truly bravery?
"Trouble, eh? What do you think you're-a-gonna do to me? I've seen worse than giant talking turtles."
Bowser fumed. I'm talking steam coming out his head, his nostrils. Real steam. This guy breathes fire. "I COULD CRUSH YOUR PUDGY BODY WITH ONE CLAW!"
Wario flicked a booger off his finger. He didn't say anything, but I strongly got the impression, 'Try me' was what that motion said.
"Lord Bowser, your temper…"
"GRAAAAAH! I'VE HAD ENOUGH!" Bowser's voice boomed, his body growing right before my eyes. His size really can change at will!? It wasn't long before his horns clinked against the tall ceiling. His legs knocked over some tables, but Wario wasn't impressed. Like a giant ape grabbing a smelly princess, Bowser's claw enveloped Wario completely. "YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A CHEW TOY TO ME! LET'S SEE IF YOU SQUEAK LIKE ONE!"
Kammy sighed. The other patrons looked on in astonishment, myself included. King Boo seemed generally used to this kind of behavior. If I remember, King Boo was a regular at Bowser's Casino, so this must have been a common sight. He chomped down on his ethereal ghost breakfast, and I wondered yet again where he got that. Torte and the soda brothers certainly couldn't have known how to make ghost meals.
"THAT'S RIGHT, GAHAHAHA! THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU MESS WITH THE KING OF CRIM-AH-HUH?!"
Bowser's claws weren't quite as rock steady as he'd hoped. The fist holding Wario was shaking, shivering, almost like he was afraid. But he wasn't! And he wasn't about to let anyone think that. He gritted his enormous fangs together and squeezed harder. Still they shook. Fine! He probably thought. I'll use TWO hands! And he pressed his other claw down, like he was trying to squeeze the world's sweatiest orange. Except both claws started shaking.
"YOU'RE JOKING! EVEN MARIO WASN'T THIS STRONG!" Bowser grunted, sweat dripping down his scaly forehead. He was right. Mario was very powerful, but he was always quite balanced. Agile, smart, kind…
Wario on the other hand, if stat points were a thing, he put everything into strength.
"WAAAAAAAHA!" Wario wa'd, his bulging arms exploding Bowser's claws away with a powerful flex. Bowser blinked. His massive maw gaped. A big X made of band-aids glowed on his chin where Daisy had struck him last night. Oh no. Wario knew a boss's weakness when he saw one. Our family had that kind of sight built into our genes.
"GET OUTTA HERE!" Wario shouted, his huge beefy shoulders slamming straight into Bowser's jaw.
"GAH!" Bowser cried, big wet tears hanging from massive eyes. He toppled over onto the carpet with a thud, his size shrinking back down to normal massive turtle. He stroked his hurt jaw once more, turning away from a fussing Kammy. "I can't believe this! Another humiliation…?"
Wario's veins popped out of his arms, neck, and forehead. He spat as he yelled, "You want me to toss you next, eh?! If you didn't like Mario's wimpy spinning throws, you will NOT like mine."
"Dang it! Dang it!" Bowser cursed, turning to hide his tail. "Fine! I give up!" He grumbled under his breath. "How is it I'm starting to miss that little red idiot…?"
"That's what I thought." Wario pulled his sleeves back down and resumed his lounging. "And you know what? I'm putting you on my number one suspect list for that."
"I've done nothing wrong!" Bowser whined, crunching a perfectly good bagel and some loose table remnants under his pouting stomps.
"Exactly what a thief would say," Wario groaned. "And I would know!" He really would. "I don't see a detective around here to tell me otherwise."
Urp. Detective. Wario scanned the room, looking for someone else to speak up.
Somewhere, Goombella jumped up on a table and shouted, "I'm a-"
"NOT YOU!" More than a few people shouted at the same time.
"T-Toadette? You too…?"
"Sorry. You have to learn to read the room, Goombella."
I hate to say it, but Toadette was right. This wasn't the time or place for someone in blue. Goombella hopped off the table and pressed her frowny cheeks against Toadette's side who stroked her hair quietly. It looked like she was whispering a few more apologies. Toadette must have gotten a bit too caught up in it all like she usually did. Goombella knew the truth of Toadette's feelings for the NDPD, but probably never heard it quite like this.
What a mess. What an awful mess. If only someone else could have stood up and said anything. If only there really was a detective here to help.
Peasley stood majestically silent to the side, his glorious golden hair billowing in a heroic wind that only he could be graced with. He was a hero, but he was no detective, I guess. It wouldn't be fair to expect him to fix everything just because he's handsome and perfect.
I felt the eyes of Goombella and Toadette glaring at me from across the way. What!? Me?! Why do people keep thinking I'm a detective!? I'm not! That was my brother! Not me! They can't force me to do something just because my brother did!
I won't accept that!
"Looks to me like turtle soup is on the menu," Wario growled, pointing angrily at Bowser.
Bowser held up his claws defensively. "H-hold on a second! Actually…" he gulped. "I-I'm a detective!"
What?!
"Eh?" Wario raised an eyebrow.
Bowser stepped forward, standing tall. All eyes were on him again. Kammy shook her head, but Bowser didn't care. He lived for attention. It gave him power.
"That's right! I'm getting into detectiving," he lied proudly, punching the air. "And…!" He paused, thinking. "I know who the thief is! Not me, that's for sure!"
Wario's anger melted away like liquid gold. "Eh?! That so?!" Again, he spent most his stats on strength, not intelligence.
"Correct!" Bowser crossed his arms and nodded smugly. "Give me just a few seconds of dramatic silence and I'll tell you who in this room the culprit is!"
Bowser quickly scanned the room. He fooled no one except Wario, but that's all that mattered. His eyes fell on King Boo, and I could practically hear his thoughts as he pushed his brain to the limit.
Let's see… King Boo? No, he'd kick my butt. Bowser looked at Prince Peasley. That little green guy! Wait. No. He might kick my butt, too. I don't trust him. He looked at Toadette and Goombella. Maybe one of those two! Although, their friend kicked my butt. He turned to the servants and stared at Waluigi's skinny frame. He LOOKS wimpy, but I don't trust anyone even KINDA related to that yellow guy. He held a claw under his bandaged chin. Hmm… who here wouldn't kick my butt for accusing them?
"Eeeh, your fresh garlic, Mr. Wario." a trembling voice rasped. The old man held a shaking silver platter up to Wario's throne.
Wario took a bite without so much as looking at the old man. He quickly spat it out, furious. "This garlic's as moldy as you are, old man! You do nothing but screw up even the simplest instructions!"
A bright bullet bill shone over Bowser's head like a light bulb before shooting out into the roof. "Aha! That's the thief!"
The old man's beard bristled with surprise. His eyes nearly popped out of his big swirly glasses. "W-wuzzat?!"
Wario swiveled, glaring at the troublesome old man. "This guy?!" Wait. Did Wario not even know his name either? Argh. If Goombella wasn't mad at me, I could probably ask her about the old man.
All I could tell about him was that he was old. He wore a slightly battered butler's coat, but it didn't look like his usual outfit. His head looked hard, extremely so, and was shaped like a perfect cartoon bone and as bald as one too.
Bowser beamed, his fangs reflecting a scared wrinkly man. "That's right! And you know why?" Bowser pointed a claw toward the hole in the roof where his bullet bill idea shot through. "Because!–And this is genius—" He cleared his throat. "The butler always does it! I've seen it on TV plenty of times!"
"Good enough for me," Wario said with a shrug, already lifting the old man's bony head into one hand. The old man wiggled helplessly. "You're going to live in my special prison that's almost as dusty as you, old man!" Wario wound up his beefy arm before tossing the poor guy out like a bowling ball into a big black iron bar cage. I didn't notice he put a jail cell there.
"Oww!" the old man yelped, quickly jumping back to his rattling feet. Not that old man abuse was something I'd ever condone, but the guy seemed fairly used to being thrown around. He didn't appear hurt at least?
"Doctor!" Wario shouted, snapping Crygor back into reality. "Turn on the mini W.A.H.S. just to make sure he can't get out!"
"Er, um, all right." Dr. Crygor opened a panel at the cage, pressed a few buttons, and a purple barrier slid over the cage. He didn't seem to think this was necessary, but no one wanted to get on Wario's bad side. "I-I'd just like to warn you that this will drain even more power and we might expect the blackouts to last even longer."
Huh? Blackouts?
"Eh, so what!" Wario waved it off. "They only last a few minutes at like 2 AM right? And the barrier will still hold up?"
Dr. Crygor fiddled with his rubber gloves. "Well. Yes, that's true. The W.A.H.S. take priority of course, but it takes quite a lot of power to keep it going and for so long. To stop a complete blowout, or worse, the hotel needs to cease all power consumption (except for the W.A.H.S.) for a few minutes. I picked 2 AM since most people probably wouldn't even notice but…"
Oh. I must have slept through it.
"Wait a minute!" Bowser burst in. "I just gave you the thief! It doesn't matter! Turn the power off to the barrier or whatever then!"
Dr. Crygor gulped. "I-I'm afraid it's not that easy! As I said before, W.A.H.S. is still under development and until the stolen artifact is returned to its rightful place, the hotel will remain in lockdown."
Wario nodded. "Yeah! You're the smart detective around here. Where's my Pot of Luxeville, eh?"
Bowser threw his claws up into the air. "How should I know!?" If I didn't know any better, I'd think he was about to burn the whole place down. "I'm sick of this. I'm going back to my room." He stomped out of the dining hall. Kammy puttered behind, shaking her head.
Wario shrugged. "At least the thief isn't around to cause trouble anymore till we find it."
"So that's what that blackout was," a voice full of food mumbled near me. Aiee! Daisy!? She stood next to me, buttery bagel in one hand, and a fancy cane in the other. She leaned on it instead of her hurt foot.
To be completely honest, I didn't expect to see her again so quickly. I was certain she'd be angry with me for last night. However, despite how unreliable I've proven time and time again over the year, Daisy for some reason always shows up at my side in one way or the other.
And she noticed the blackout before me?!
Daisy raised an eyebrow, chewing like a chipmunk. "You sleep like someone conked you over the head with a hammer, Luigi. I wouldn't be surprised if the only thing that'd wake you up in a hotel is the scream of a damsel in distress in the room next door."
Well! Um! I guess I am a heavy sleeper. Daisy complains about my snores all the time when I'm in the office and she's trying to take a nap on the couch. But that's not the point!
Where did she get that cane?
"Sir Spish has a ton of extra canes for some reason." Daisy shrugged. "He was very eager to get on my good side again. Gotta say, the cane makes me feel pretty rugged and cool. I could ask you the same about that clunky vacuum on your back. Where'd you get it?"
Oh! I had forgotten it was there already. It felt so natural. I suppose I understood Daisy's feelings with that cane. The Poltergust did make me feel a bit cooler. I quickly told her about E. Gadd. She nodded, but I could tell she wasn't really interested.
We had moved over to a free table to sit for breakfast at some point. I had some toast with a side of mushrooms. Add a bit of jam and some butter and it was a simple flakey delicacy! The food combined with Daisy made the morning feel a little better. I felt sad knowing Goombella and Toadette didn't sit with us. They really were mad at me, weren't they?
"Yeah, they're pretty steamed," Daisy said with a nod, spilling crumbs everywhere. Blunt as always. "I don't blame them either. You left them hanging, Luigi." Geez. Why don't you just stab me in the heart while you're at it? "But on the other hand…"
Daisy looked at me, and her eyes—I can't explain it. It wasn't something I was used to. Sometimes she looked at me in a certain way and I felt like she really understood me. I always thought only Mario could ever know me.
"They expected you to put yourself in danger," Daisy said. For once her mouth wasn't full. "I don't think that's fair of them. You shouldn't have to be anything you don't want to be, Luigi."
Huh? I have thought about this before but to hear anyone else say it—
Daisy shrugged and went back to her bagels. "I think they understand that too. The mushroom girl was less mad. That annoying pig girl was being stubborn as always though." She sighed. "But I could tell she didn't mean it. I think she's just been stepped on by a lot of people her whole life, so she'll take a bit longer to come around. But she will. She's overly trusting that one. Maybe just overly lonely."
What? Daisy saying something almost nice about Goombella? She rolled her eyes at that. And was she always so perceptive of other people? I guess it made sense. If she could understand me, she could probably understand a lot of people.
"I know people think I'm dumb," Daisy said, staring at nothing. "And I'd say they're probably right. I'm not very smart. But I think that's why I can read people. Everyone's just a dumb animal at the heart of things. Base instincts or whatever." She looked at me. "You know?"
I suppressed a gasp. She really had been spending a lot of time with the girls if she was saying, 'You know?' But I nodded. Maybe I've not given Daisy enough credit over all our time together. She didn't seem too bothered by us all being locked in a Hotel together either.
Daisy smirked. "Why would I? I was going to stay for a while anyway. Plenty of food, too. I definitely don't have to worry about training or any of the real-world problems now. This has been a blessing in disguise."
Hmm. I didn't think of it that way. It's not so bad for us. Not yet at least.
She leaned over on my side, suddenly grinning. "So. Who do you think did it, huh?"
What?! Now she's asking me to solve a mystery, too?!
Daisy rolled her eyes again. "I'm not asking you to do anything, Luigi, sheesh." She grumbled, "I really do understand their frustration…" She went on. "I'm just asking for your opinion. Your thoughts so far."
My thoughts? I can do that! I've got too many of those. Let's see…
It's way too early to tell. Nearly every single person has a motive against Wario. He is not a kind man, and he's clearly made plenty of enemies. From the biggest menace, King Boo, to the smallest nobody like Waluigi.
"Harsh," Daisy said with a grin. "I actually like that guy."
What?! Seriously?! Of course she likes Waluigi.
I shook my head and refused to get distracted. There was nearly no one free of suspicion though. Even someone like Kolorado was a potential suspect! His lust for treasure was apparent. I hated to think about it, but Peasley wanted his mother's portrait back. The Boosters were completely unreadable, who knows what they would ever do and why. Sir Spish Ush was an incredibly suspicious man from the start. Vivian could be under the orders of King Boo. E. Gadd also has some sticky fingers and would probably love the idea of seeing some new ghost tech in action. Bowser is Bowser. There were just … so many suspects. It was overwhelming.
"What about me?" Daisy asked with a smirk. "I'm not on your list of suspects? I wouldn't put it past me to do it."
!? Was she admitting to it?!
"I'm just messing with you," Daisy said, but she couldn't stop grinning like an imp. "But yeah, you're right. It could be anyone. You honestly shouldn't trust anybody here, Luigi."
I took note of the people in the dining room. At first, I thought it was just Wario glaring down at everyone, but when I looked, I noticed everyone was eyeing everyone else. Toadette and Goombella whispered across the way. Peasley stared stoically across the room, but he must have had his eyes peeled as well. Dr. Crygor periodically looked up from his mess of wires and panels with his lone cyber-eye. From the shadows, I even caught a glance of a nervous Vivian. She quickly ducked away into the darkness when I spotted her.
I shivered. I hated thinking like this. It really could have been anyone, couldn't it? But the other question would have to be how. And the most important question would be where? Where was that artifact?
"Yep." Daisy nodded. "Just about anyone could have taken that under the cover of darkness." She stared into the distance again, contemplating. "It'd be so easy."
I finally decided to be clear with her. She was giving me anxiety. I touched her shoulder and asked pointblank. Daisy didn't really do it, did she? She'd be honest with me, wouldn't she?
Daisy turned back to face me, almost startled. "Why would you ever think I'd be honest with you, Luigi? What gave you the impression I've ever been honest?"
Huh? That cut into me more than I had expected. I thought Daisy was always honest? At least in her own way?
"Guess you might be right." She shrugged and pulled out a cigarette. She hadn't smoked since we were back at the office. "I didn't do it, but I don't think that's enough proof. You shouldn't believe me just because I say so."
What is with her? Why is she always like this?
She puffed out a thick black smoke away from me. Wario didn't care. It's not like it could get smellier around here. It looked like I wasn't going to get much out of her anymore. This happens every so often with Daisy. She scratched at her hurt foot and groaned, grinding the cigarette in her teeth.
"Hey~!" an angelic voice called out. There was only one man that could sound so heavenly.
"Great. Just what I needed," Daisy huffed.
Peasley strutted over to the chair opposite of Daisy's and took a seat. She blew a puff of black into his face, but he simply threw his hair back, and glamorous light destroyed the smoke in an instant. Daisy shifted the cigarette in her lips angrily.
"I was waiting for the correct moment to greet the two of you!" Peasley said with a smile. "Good morning, Miss Daisy. You are looking as lovely as ever. Good morning, Sir Luigi! Your mustache has not lost its luster."
! M-my mustache? H-he noticed? No one—no one ever notices…! My heart… was I blushing? Oh, I was probably blushing…
"So, you were listening in on our conversation?" Daisy grumbled.
Peasley didn't miss a beat. "Only insofar as to not interrupt! I would hate to be rude."
"You're always rude."
HE IS NOT.
Daisy rolled her eyes. Any more spinning and they were sure to get dizzy and turn into blue coins.
"What do you want, Peasley."
For a moment, I could swear he had trouble with his words. But I would sooner believe I misinterpreted the fabric of reality than think Peasley isn't perfect. "I wanted to apologize for last night."
"That so?"
Peasley nodded. "When that foul beast Bowser attacked, I did nothing but stand upon the sidelines. I left it to someone else. Because of that…" He looked at Daisy's cane. "I allowed you to get injured. For that, I feel less than a man. I am sorry."
Daisy slammed her hand on the table, and for a moment, I actually saw Peasley's eyes open. "You allowed me to get injured? You've got some balls; I'll give you that."
"That is—" Peasley looked away. I couldn't believe it. "That is not what I meant. I'm sorry."
"It's exactly what you meant you pompous piece of—"
"It seems I've made myself quite the fool yet again!" Peasley said with a grand smile. "Perhaps my actions will speak louder than words? Here, this is for you." Peasley held out a glimmering green key, a few cute decorative vines poking out of it. "A key to my room."
Even I had to double take.
Daisy was furious. "Are you SERIOUS right now? Are you seriously implying what I think you're implying?!"
Peasley's smile still stood, but it was shaky. "I… hm. I did not mean it to come off as anything untoward. I meant only that Sir Wario has furnished me with a VIP suite and I thought you were more deserving—"
"You're an egotistical creep is what you are!" Daisy shouted. I've never heard her yell like that. She yells all the time, and she's angry all the time, but this was something else.
"That is not—" Peasley sighed. He allowed his smile to fall for a second. "I will leave you with my key. It is a copy. You may take my room whenever you please." He left it on the table in front of her. I had to fight the urge to snatch it up myself.
"Whatever." Daisy crossed her arms and puffed away from both of us. I got the impression she was even mad at me.
Peasley turned to face me, perhaps because it was simply too hard to stare at Daisy. Perhaps because he liked me? Did I dare think that the reason?
"Well. Sir Luigi, if you don't mind, I'd actually like to have a word with you, too."
M-me?! Peasley wants to talk to me?! Again? O-of course! I'd do anything for Peasley! Anything!
"I've heard tales of your brother's detective prowess," Peasley started. I could feel my face fall. Did Daisy smirk or was that was just my imagination? "And that you are no slouch at all when it comes to all things mysterious."
I didn't know where he got his information. I wasn't a detective, but Peasley thought I was good…? If Peasley thought I was. Then maybe I was. He wouldn't lie.
"I take your mumblings as a boast of your grizzled detective personality!" Peasley said cheerfully, his glorious teeth sparkling in a crystalline smile. "I believe that if anyone is to solve this devious case, then who better than a famous Mario Brother?"
Ah. Um. Yeah! I guess.
"Now then, I am sure your head is absolutely swirling with ideas and theories," Peasley said as I ate my strawberry toast and mushrooms. "But perhaps I could be of benefit to you! I assume you will want to interrogate potential witnesses and suspicious individuals connected to the theft, yes?"
I nodded.
"Then I believe your primary suspect would be none other than that dastardly Bowser, right?" Peasley's hair sparkled and flowed in some dreamy breeze. He leaned over the table, getting closer. He was excited.
Bowser? My primary suspect? Well. I wasn't quite sure about that, but…
"I knew you'd agree with me!" Peasley said, pleased. "Who other than the King of Crime would commit such a treacherous taunt to our just establishment!"
Er. Hm. He didn't quite seem to understand me, but maybe that was for the best.
"As it just so happens, I know where the beast resides!" Peasly went on. "I followed the gruesome gangster in secret, unbeknownst to him!" He sounded so excited. I couldn't help but feel his positive energy burn in my chest. "And I found his lair. Floor 6. Room 666. It is a floor fit for a villain as vile as him."
Room 666? That's a bit scary isn't it? Why would Wario even have a room number like that?
"Ah, you also see value in my theory!" Peasley said with a grin. "Then you will be able to coax that careless criminal and condemn him for the crimes he's committed!"
Er. I wasn't quite sure about all this. But Peasley would be coming with me? As my partner? He would back me up? I could hardly imagine!
"You are right, you daring detective!" Peasly said with a nod. "I shall keep watch over the dining hall and make sure nothing else happens! I know I would only get in your way."
Wait. I didn't say that. I'm not very good on my own!
"Ha ha! And you are quite the card as well! I can see why Miss Daisy enjoys your company so much!" Peasley laughed that heroic laugh of his. He truly believed in me. My hero believed in me! If Peasley of all people believed me, then…
I could do it, too! That's right! I was going to go up to Bowser and make him confess his crimes and get us all out of this situation! Luigi number 1! I got a weird sensation of déjà vu but whatever!
As I hopped out of my chair and brushed the crumbs off my overalls, I felt a strong hand grip my arm. It was Daisy.
She shook her head. "Don't."
I tore out of her grip. It hurt a little. Who was she to tell me what to do, huh? What was Daisy's problem? She never believed in me. Peasley believed in me and he barely even knew me! I've only known Peasley for a few minutes and I can tell he's the perfect prince.
I wasn't going to let Daisy hold me back anymore. I wasn't going to let anyone hold me back. I am Detective Luigi of the Mario Brother's Detective Agency! And this mystery was about to be as good as solved!
"Ha ha! Now that is the confident strut of a fellow green man! I knew you were all that and a bag of beans!" Peasley stood up and blinded us all with another beautiful hair flick. "I will resume my watch here! I would wish you good luck, Sir Luigi, but I know you do not need it!"
That's right! I don't!
As I exited the dining hall once more and made my way to the elevator, I took one last glance back at our table. Daisy had already left. There was nothing to see save for our plates and crumbs of breakfast. Nothing to worry about. Waluigi would take care of that.