Sakura misses her husband and daughter.

After death, Uchiha nee Haruno Sakura was expecting to reunite with her husband in the afterworld, or get reincarnated, or be engulfed in eternal darkness, or heck, even get edo-tenseied…but it never occurred to her that it's possible to relive her entire life again. Well, technically she's not reliving her life, because although she's still Haruno Sakura, this life is nothing like her last. The Godaime's apprentice, one of the Neo Sannin, Uchiha Sakura, none of that happens in this life.

For starters, how the fuck did she end up becoming a Mokuton user?

Don't get her wrong, she's not unsatisfied with the new boost in skills, but Sakura, Haruno Sakura has always accepted the fact that for not being a reincarnation of demi-Gods and not being a clan-born shinobi with any sort of kekkei genkai, the feats she has achieved are nothing less than those of her teammates and those of the legendary figures written in Konoha's history books. So, Sakura has to admit that the first time her chakra seeped into the soil and made a flower bloom from a seed, she was delighted. Hysterical even.

But somehow in this world, in this reality, she never ends up with Uchiha Sasuke, and it pains her to know that she'll never be able to hold little Sarada in her arms, or take family photos with her beloved husband and daughter.

(Though a part of her relishes in delight for Sasuke's attention and the looks he gives her during her genin days, a different kind of attention that has nothing to do with romance, looks that she used to catch him throwing towards Naruto and Neji and those who young Sasuke deems to be strong and – and she can't help but stand a bit taller whenever she catches those looks directed towars her.)

So yeah, maybe being Mokuton no Sakura isn't all that bad. Perhaps fate just wanted to reward her for all her tenacity and struggles and hardships in her previous life, and treated her to an extra lifetime.

Ugggh. Fate is toying with her.

Being Mokuton no Sakura was amazing. Being single for an entire lifetime had its ups and downs, because often or not she would remember Sasuke's warmth when she leaned against him, or Sarada's bright smiles and tight hugs, but overall dedicating her entire life to Konoha and the Shinobi Nation and to nature itself wasn't bad.

So why the hell in this life, which at first seems to parallel her first life, ended up with her feeling jittery and nervous around Kakashi-sensei, who Goddamit, who's her sensei? Someone she could trust her life with, someone she could trust her child's life with, but definitely, definitely not someone she'll fall in love with.

Sakura is appalled at the realization that in this life, she's pining after Hatake Kakashi, instead of always leaving her heart open for Uchiha Sasuke. (Well, her crush on Sasuke during the academy and genin days remain unchanged, huh.)

The years of falling for Kakashi, loving Kakashi makes a part of her extremely uncomfortable, and in her nightmares she would hear wisps of "betrayal" from her husband and "how could you do this to us, Mama?" from Sarada, and it hurts. It hurts that she can do nothing about her feelings and affections towards her teacher, as if fate itself is guiding, forcing her to love Kakashi and crave love from him and start a family with him.

But Sakura has always been good at adapting to the hands she's dealt with. She learnt to become happy as Mokuton no Sakura, and so Sakura wonders if she should have felt guiltier when she is crying in happiness, holding a newborn boy with strands of grey hair so similar to his father's.

Over the next few lifetimes, Sakura starts to analyze this, this predicament she's gotten herself into. She is still Haruno Sakura, both in spirit and in soul, yet every life is different. All the memories from her lifetimes are intact (oh but Sarada's features are getting blurrier and blurrier) and never gets overly attached to any of her lifetimes (but if only she can hear Sarada's voice once more).

Did she end up falling into the Infinite Tsukuyomi, and all these memories and ups and downs in life (lives) are simply figments of her imagination? Perhaps the real Naruto and Sasuke and Kakashi are still fighting the Goddess, hoping to wake her up from this eternal sleep, or perhaps they have also succumbed to this sort of fantasy-reality?

Saura thinks. She asks the deities when she goes praying in shrines. She wordlessly yells her questions and frustrations towards the sky. Sakura never gets an answer.

There are lifetimes where Sakura remains single, travelling across Shinobi Nations as a healer or Sage or even mystically ending up as Hokage. Sometimes she ends up with Naruto, whose bright smiles and positivity grants her joy and laughter throughout her entire lifespan with him. Sometimes she ends up with Sasuke, but in different ways: She deserts the village with him, for him, becomes a fifth member on Team Taka, ultimately tying the knots with him, or Sasuke actually listens to her helpless pleas and stays in Konoha, and despite all the shit with Danzo and the horrifying truth about the Uchiha Massacre, in the end he still holds a sliver of trust in Konoha, in Naruto and her, and she ends up as Uchiha Sakura again.

(She thought she would find joy in being Uchiha Sakura again, but she wasn't entirely happy, because fate, fate is cruel in the way that it never allowed her to see Sarada again, even if she'd given birth to a dark-haired dark-eyes girl and name her Sarada her child never ends up growing to become the Sarada she knows and loves the most.)

Over time (lifetimes), Sakura learns to just go with the flow and try to live her most with what she has instead of mourning over what she has lost. Sometimes, God forbid, sometimes it even amuses her that she can end up happily with people who she only used to think of as teammates (Sai, Yamato), as friends (Shikamaru, Gaara), or individuals who ended up dying in her original life (Neji, Itachi!?), but she sees the good in her future husbands, falls for them, and in the end, she has to admit the happiness and fulfillment overweighs the regrets and doubts.

(Well, Sakura has to admit, her marriage to Ino, running the flower shop together and becoming role models of future Kunoichi together is certainly…eye-opening.)