When Alice returned at night, she had two suitcases in tow and a scheduled flight early in the morning at Seattle airport.
Charlie insisted then that he'd be taking the girls to the airport so Alice didn't have to leave Carlisle's car somewhere else.
The trio left early in the morning to catch their flight and Bella sat beside Charlie from the driver's seat and Alice at the back with a mischievous look on her face.
"What are you snickering about Alice?" Bella eyed her from the rear view mirror and Alice giggled.
"Nothing, I've never ridden at the back of a police car before. Emmett would be jealous." Charlie frowned while Bella only rolled her eyes.
"First thing you do when you land is to call me, you got that? I need to know that you landed safely" Charlie changed the subject right away.
"You got it Dad"
"And Alice? Will your family be picking you up from the airport?"
"Yes Charlie. They'll be waiting for us when we arrive. "Bella tried to hide her uneasiness. The possibility of meeting Jasper sooner was so high and Bella already anticipated that it would be Jasper who would be meeting them. Oh, she wished it was going to be just Emmett or Carlisle, or maybe even Esme? But with Alice with her, who better than to greet them when they arrive, than her mate.
"You okay Bells?" Charlie looked at her, there was hope in his eyes that she was going to change her mind but that wasn't going to happen. She was doing this so she had to keep herself strong and make sure that she doesn't make a fool out of herself, the moment that she sees Jasper.
She had been thinking if this piece of information was something she would share with the rest of the Cullen's or if she'll just let them assume that her being from the future, that she was still Edward's mate but could she pull it off when even now, she was already longing to see this version of her mate? She decided that she'll cross the bridge when she gets there.
"I'll be fine. What will you be doing while I'm away? "Bella changed the topic and Charlie stared at the road and sighed.
"I'll probably drop by the reservation more often. Keep Sue and the kids company"
Bella nodded.
"You do that. They'll appreciate it. "Bella didn't want to say anything more, in case she might say something prematurely about Charlie and Sue's relationship in the future. That was something that shouldn't even be brought up now, with Harry's death still raw.
The rest of the ride, they spent in silence and when it was time for their flight to depart, Alice and Bella gave Charlie a hug, not before warning the girls to be careful and reminding them for the millionth time to call him when they arrive.
Alice had first class seats reserved for both of them and Bella found herself at ease with the accommodations.
Bella had been in one too many flights in her vampire life that she was used to the accommodations, whether it was in commercial flights or from private planes chartered by the Cullen's or by the Volturi.
As comfortable as she was in the flight, her nerves was a different story. Bella was still thinking of the prospect of seeing Jasper again. So to keep herself distracted, she brought along her music player and spent the rest of the flight listening to music. She had found a CD with Edwards's handwriting on it and was curious as to what was inside.
When the first few keys of the piano filled her headset, she immediately recognized Edwards's composition. Edward's skill at composition has always been at par with the world's best musicians and Bella and Jasper had been given the opportunity to be gifted with such music on their wedding day when Edward composed a wonderful music that tells the story of a lost soldier and his mate and how they found each other. They have cherished that song and Bella had kept listening to that music ever since. It was too bad though, she couldn't listen to that music now.
Bella recognized some of the music from Edward's playlist but there was one that she found quite unique. The song was soft, like a lullaby. It held such promise of love and joy, yet at the end, there was a hint of finality to the song, an ending that he didn't want to happen. She guessed that this was Edward's song to Bella.
She kept repeating the song over and over, trying to understand Edward more from his music. Why? Why does he think that loving Bella would not end well for them? Or was it only for him? Bella felt that there was something that she was missing.
Bella thought about the timeline. Since it was Bella who was Edward's mate in this timeline, which means Edward would have gone almost a hundred years without having someone at his side. Would that have really made a difference with his outlook in life? And not to mention, with Bella still human and him stuck forever at seventeen, was it a factor to how he view himself and his relationship with Bella? Did he think that that their relationship was something that he didn't deserve? Or something that's doomed to fail? She couldn't believe that.
Most vampires would have been thrilled to finally found their mate. Some would go live for a few hundred or a thousand years before even finding their other half. But no, Edward was not embracing it, he was condemning it instead and Bella was going to rectify that especially that it looked like, this Bella did not share Edward's sentiments about their love story.
Bella was not one to enjoy manipulating outcomes, she always leaves those to Alice but this was something that she couldn't just stand by and do nothing especially that she was inside the body of a Bella Swan that might potentially end up dead if she didn't intervene.
She felt the plane touching down and Bella was surprised that they have already arrived at their destination. She must really be too caught up in her own musings that she didn't realize they have already arrived.
When they were leaving the plane, Bella was back to worrying about who was going to meet them and she prayed that it was going to be anyone else from the family but of course, her prayers weren't answered because the moment that she turned towards the hallway were people were greeting the arriving passengers, Bella felt a sudden longing that she had never felt ever since she got transported to this body.
Her heart started to hammer loudly, she could almost hear it from inside her chest. Bella looked around the many faces in the crowd and her eyes zeroed in on the lone figure that was standing in the corner, leaning against the wall with his hands in the pockets of his pants. He was wearing a white long sleeved shirt that fully covered the many scars on his arms. Those scars that Bella could tell exactly how many and how he got it.
Bella's body moved in her own accord as her feet slowly brought her closer to where he was standing.
"Major... "Bella couldn't help the words from escaping her lips in a soft whisper and as if Jasper heard it, he looked up and turned towards her direction, his face lighting up, just the way that she remembers him.
Jasper stood up straight and took a step forward, arms to his side with his palms opened in a welcoming gesture. Bella chastised herself for not being able to move fast enough for him. She was already sidestepping people that were walking around her, eyes solely straight ahead towards Jaspers waiting arms but even before she can reach him, Jasper's eyes fell somewhere behind her and Bella felt like the world was trying to swallow her whole as Alice's small figure bounced ahead of her and towards Jaspers embrace.
Bella stopped mid stride. Shit. How could she forget? Why did she even consider that it was her that he was looking like that? Alice and Jasper were holding hands and they were staring into each other's eyes, a silent communication between lovers and Bella felt a pang of jealousy which she took a while before she could dismiss. She had no right to be jealous.
Enough. It's not him. This is not your story. This is not your Jasper. Your mate is in the future, waiting for you.
She repeated the mantra in her mind over and over until her heart could calm down. It was a struggle to see him with Alice. She was glad that she wasn't a vampire yet because her territorial instinct might have kicked in and cause unnecessary problems.
She wanted to be angry at Alice, at her sister but she knew that her anger was misplaced. This wasn't Alice's doing. It was just how this world was created and Bella just had to deal with it because she was the outsider. She was the one that didn't belong in the story.
Bella closed her eyes and took slow deep breaths. She realized that with her reaction now at seeing Jasper, it would cause her problems in the long run. It wasn't going to be long before they realized that something was off about her if she can't control her feelings whenever he was around. Speaking of feelings, Bella was mortified when she remembered too late that Jasper could read all her emotions and when she snapped her eyes open, Jasper was indeed looking straight at her with his brows furrowed in confusion.
Alice and Jasper were now walking towards her, Jasper just a few steps back, letting Alice lead the way.
"Hello Bella" Jasper greeted her in his southern accent. Bella's heart started going haywire again, at the sound of his voice. Right now, she was hating her human condition because it was such a dead giveaway to what she was feeling.
"Jazz... Jasper" she wished that he would just think it was because of Bella's natural awkwardness that's causing her reaction. She had always been awkward as a human, which she admits.
"It means a lot to the family that you're here... You didn't have to but you still came" he told her and he was conveying his gratitude to her which she embraced. Any emotion that Jasper would send her way, she was going to take it.
"I missed you... ahm, all of you" she corrected right away and she knew she was asking for too much that Jasper missed her slip but being an empath, the emotions from her words were hard to miss on who it was directed to. Jasper's brows furrowed but he didn't say anything and Bella was grateful.
"Shall we go? Everyone's been dying to see you Bella! "Alice exclaimed and Bella's earlier reaction took a temporary backseat.
"Everyone? Are you sure about that? "Bella smiled nervously, trying to disperse the tension she felt with Jasper's presence and the three of them started on their way after dropping by to get their luggage and after Bella called Charlie to let him know that they arrived safely in Alaska.
This time, Bella was the one sitting at the back of the car while Jasper was behind the wheel and Alice beside him. Bella kept her gaze outside the window where she can lose herself in the scenery that she had seen countless of time. She needed that distraction so her mind wouldn't wander to how Jasper turned his head and give Alice a wink, how Alice would giggle and reach out her hand on his. It should have been her.
Her mind couldn't stop comparing herself to Alice, how she was much more suited to Jasper than Alice. Alice was Jasper's opposite. Her energetic vibe didn't match Jasper's calmness. Bella groaned. She was being petty again. She didn't have the right to compare. Bella should be happy that in this world, Jasper has someone, even if that someone was not her.
Bella leaned her head in the window, closing her eyes, wanting to forget about her thoughts about Jasper, and instead, she focused on what she was going to say to the rest of the family when she meets them.
"Bella... we're here" She felt Alice tapping her shoulder and she sat up straight. The car already stopped and in front of them was a large house in the middle of nowhere. She didn't realize that she fell asleep all throughout the ride.
The three of them got out of the car and while Jasper and Alice started taking out their luggage, Bella stared at the house in front of her. It looked like there was no one living in it but Bella knew better. She knew, that the rest of the family and the Denali coven were all waiting for them inside.
Bella hugged her jacket tighter when the cold wind blew her way. She wasn't used to feeling cold anymore and she was thankful for the extra clothes.
"Let's get you inside so you could warm up" Jasper told her worriedly and Bella couldn't help the blush from coloring her cheeks. Bella groaned again with her body's reaction.
Alice and Jasper led the way while Bella trailed behind and before they can even knock, the door opened to reveal Carlisle and Esme waiting for them.
Esme did not waste any moment and she went straight for Bella and held her hand. "My sweet child... you're here. Come in... Come in. Oh, how we missed you. "Esme ushered her inside and Bella suddenly missed how Esme used to mother her when she was still human.
"Thank you Esme. I missed you too" Bella smiled at the woman in front of her that Bella already considered her second mother.
"We're all glad that you could make it here safely" Carlisle told her then towards Alice, "Could you take Bella's things upstairs?"
"We're on it" Bella turned away when Jasper grinned at Alice and her enthusiasm.
As soon as the two left for her room, Bella was left in the doorway with Carlisle and Esme.
"Thank you for having me Carlisle... Esme" Bella nodded in greeting then she looked around, wondering where the others were.
"Rosalie and Emmett are out hunting with the Denali Sisters. It's just us and Carmen and Eleazar that stayed behind to meet you. "As if on cue, Carmen and Eleazar appeared below the stairs and Carmen was the first to greet her.
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Isabella. Such a beautiful name"
"Thank you"
"Why don't you get comfortable? Please, sit down" Carmen and Esme led her towards the sofa on the middle of the living room.
"This is Carmen and her mate, Eleazar" Carlisle introduced the two vampires before her. Bella didn't really need the introduction as she had known them the moment that she saw them but she didn't stop Carlisle.
Eleazar was staring at Bella curiously, his forehead creasing in concentration.
"Is there anything the matter, Eleazar?" Carlisle asked his friend and Eleazar was shaking his head. He walked towards Bella and sat on the empty chair in front of her.
"Curious. Isabella, do you know that you have a gift? I've never encountered one so pronounced while still human, ever since I've met the twins" He leaned forward from his chair as he explained and Bella knew what he was talking about. Eleazar was also the first person who identified her gift as a mental shield.
"Yes, I am aware that I am a shield" Bella told him and this was a surprise to everyone.
"Oh, I didn't know that you are familiar with the term" Bella nodded. This was something that she didn't have a hard time sharing with them.
"Amazing! I can't believe that you just chanced on encountering such a talented person, Carlisle"
Carlisle just shook his head. Carlisle was indeed lucky. When some of their kind would go to all the trouble of finding gifted vampires, he just happened to have almost all of his family members be gifted but unlike others, Carlisle was not one who looked at his family members based on their gifts. For him, they were just his sons and daughters.
"How come I don't have a problem seeing Bella's future or Jasper feeling Bella's emotions?" Alice spoke and she rushed straight to sit down besides her, Jasper standing just behind them. Bella tried not to get distracted at his presence so she focused more on Eleazar.
"My gift is a mental shield so since ahm, Jaspers gift is more on the physical side and Alice's gift is based on decisions, it can still affect me but gifts like Edward or anything that can affect the mind, I would be practically immune." Bella explained.
Esme had gone to the kitchen and brought Bella a cup of hot chocolate which she accepted. She held the mug in her two hands and let the heat warm her up, aware that everyone was focused on her.
"Eleazar's here now. You said you wanted to ask him something. Go ahead" Alice urged him and the man looked at her with curiosity, waiting for her to speak.
"Yeah... about that. I'm still debating if I want to wait for Edward and the rest before I talk to you about it or if I can just talk to Eleazar about it now" Carlisle nodded in understanding and turned to Bella.
"It would be best indeed if we can have everyone gather before you say anything Bella. I can sense that this is something important for you. Why don't you make yourself at home and as soon as Edward arrives, let's all gather again. I presume, you'd also like some time alone with him? "
"Yes, I'd like that" Bella agreed.
"Of course. It means a lot to us that our son is returning because of you" Carlisle sincerely spoke.
"Well, if he hadn't left in the first place, we don't have to be in this situation." Alice expressed her annoyance at her brother.
"Let's not put the blame on anyone. I'm pretty sure that he's suffered enough already" Esme reminded her gently then to Bella, Esme added.
"You must be exhausted with the journey. Why don't you freshen up or maybe take a quick nap and we can continue catching up later on. I'll have food ready for you when you get down. "Esme smiled, her motherly smile and Bella couldn't help but reciprocate. Bella looked around to the rest of the vampires in the house.
"Go ahead dear" Carmen urged.
"I'll look forward to talk to you again" Eleazar told her eagerly.
"Come on Bella, I'll show you to your room "Alice stood up and dragged Bella up the stairs. Bella looked behind and Jasper still stood where he was a few minutes ago, showing his charming grin.
"I'll leave you two ladies be. Alice and I will be leaving later on to catch up with the rest" Jasper told her and Bella's cheeks started turning scarlet again. Bella just nodded and ran up the stairs, all the while, getting worked up with her reaction. She was acting like a teenager when he was around and it was not helping her at all.
When Alice ushered her into an empty room, Bella found it a coincidence that they gave her a room that was what she had always been using whenever she visited the Denali's and when she was still starting out her newborn years. She was suddenly fascinated with how some things where so similar yet so different from her timeline.
The room did not have much, just a single bed, a table and a small cabinet and there was a small door to the left that led towards a bathroom. The room had a small window that overlooked the forest outside which Bella used to sit beside every morning, watching the snow fall or when she just wants to appreciate nature. The room was perfect for her.
"Jasper and I will catch up with Rose and the others and we'll get back together just before dark" Alice explained and Bella felt a pang of envy that it was not her that was going hunting with him.
"If you need anything, Carlisle and Esme will be here for you" Alice added. "I'll be fine. Go, enjoy yourselves" Bella told her and Alice gave her a hug before she left.
Bella walked towards the window and stared at the empty forest. After a few minutes, she saw Jasper and Alice walking in a human pace towards the woods, hand in hand and Bella clutched her chest, affected by the scene before her.
She closed her eyes again and chastised herself internally.
That's enough. You have always been in control of your emotions. You know the situation you are in. Get a grip and focus.
Bella opened her eyes and took a deep breath.
"I got this." She told herself, the previous tension now leaving her body. She was here for Edward and this Bella and she had work to do.
She walked away from the window and went to the bathroom to freshen up then proceeded to go down to where Esme was preparing her food to eat.
"Hmmm, it smells delicious Esme" she complimented and she was rewarded with Esme's hug.
"It's fascinating to watch dear Esme cook for you" Carmen told her fondly. Both women were in the kitchen, helping with the preparation.
Bella didn't mind the two women watching her eat as she was already used to it. They started to catch up with Esme asking her how was Forks while avoiding the topic of when they left. She didn't have much to say so Bella stuck to the events that happened when she got inserted to this body. Bella told Esme about the cliff diving, Alice's arrival, Harry's death and Charlie agreeing to her leaving for Alaska. Bella knew Carlisle and Eleazar was just somewhere in the house so they'd be able to hear her fine.
Trying to move the conversation away from herself, Bella asked about Esme's restoration and she let second mother share what she had been doing until she was done with her food.
"Leave the dishes dear, I'll take care of it" Esme held her hand and there was sadness in her face.
"I'm so glad that you are here now Bella. It's never been the same without you. I feel like I lost a daughter when we left... "
Bella looked at Esme and she didn't like seeing her upset. Upset. Looks like it wasn't just Bella who was affected by Edward's actions.
"I lost a family when you left too." Bella replied sadly and she may not have been the one that was left behind but the Cullen's were her family. She couldn't imagine what this Bella would have felt like when they all just up and left. Where they even able to say goodbye to her? She didn't know and it looks like the Cullen's still didn't want to talk about it, to probably spare her, her feelings.
Esme sighed. "If only we could turn back time, we would never have left" Bella smiled sadly. She was the one who got that wish granted even when she never even asked for it but she still wasn't able to prevent this Bella and everyone else from being hurt.
"What's done is done. I'm here to make things right and to let Edward see reason"
"You are just what he needed Bella. He just needs to see that"
Bella nodded. "That's what I'm here for. I'll just be in the living room." Bella changed the subject and Esme gestured her out of the kitchen.
"Go ahead, we'll take care of the kitchen"
Bella made herself comfortable in front of the fireplace. It was rarely used when there were no humans in the house but when she was there, the fireplace was always lit, just like now.
She had one arm hugging herself while her other was extended towards the fire, letting the heat warm her palms. Bella let her eyes stare at the glowing embers while she stood still as a statue. From time to time though, she would lean on one leg or the other, not because she was used to the nuances of the human body but because this time that she was no longer a vampire, she actually needed to move to keep her body from going stiff.
"It's been so long since I've been able to appreciate the flames without having to worry that it's the very thing that can destroy our kind" Carlisle spoke from beside her. Bella turned her head to see Carlisle standing beside her, a little further back from the fireplace.
Bella only nodded but didn't reply but she silently agreed to his sentiment. It was different when you know the very thing that can destroy you is something that is essential to all living things.
"If I would have known that all I needed was fire to destroy myself, I wouldn't probably be here right now." Carlisle was talking about the period when he loathed what he had become and did everything that he can to try and destroy himself. Bella knew that story to heart because that was the first thing that Carlisle shared to her when he told her of his history.
"There are things that is better left that we didn't know then, just like this. You're right. If you would have known then, you wouldn't be here and your family would not be here now. I wouldn't have the opportunity to meet all of you... You started the events that led you to where you are right now. If not for you, I wouldn't have met Jasper... "Bella paused and Carlisle was looking at her in confusion. "And Alice... and Rosalie and Emmett and Esme and You and... Edward... I wouldn't have met Edward" Bella corrected immediately but then she added.
"But there are also things that maybe if you would have known, you could have changed the outcome for the better like if you would have known how it would affect everyone by leaving, maybe you could have prevented it from happening in the first place." Bella held her gaze and Carlisle was taken aback by Bella's bluntness.
Carlisle stared at her far longer than necessary before he finally sighed heavily and returned to gazing at the fire before them.
"I believe my family and I owe you an apology Bella." He told her sincerely. Bella's brows furrowed. She couldn't accept the apology yet because it wasn't her that he should be apologizing to but Carlisle did not know that yet.
"There's no need for the apology yet... only because there's more to my situation that I need to tell all of you and I know I've been keeping it suspenseful but it's a little bit complicated right now and I do need your help" Bella could see the curiosity in Carlisle's eyes but he'll have to wait much longer before she can explain everything. She was afraid that when Edward arrives and hears everyone's thoughts about her if he heard it prematurely, he might think twice about meeting her and end up running away again. She couldn't afford to lose more time right now.
If only her shield was controllable as a human, she wouldn't mind talking to the Cullen's now about her situation then shield everyone so Edward couldn't read their thoughts when he arrives but that was not possible at all.
"On the way... "Bella started to say, "I've thought about what I was going to say to you and the rest of the family... About all of you leaving...
I want to understand why? Why leave? Was that even necessary?
I don't know your reason or why you even allowed it to happen as a coven leader but I'm not one to question your authority and as someone who has been Edward's companion far longer than anyone else, you must have understood the struggle that he had to go through to make that decision."
It took a while before Carlisle could respond.
"I have underestimated you Bella, forgive me."
Bella smiled and just shrugged. "Don't worry. It's not just you. I've been getting that a lot."
Carlisle smiled in spite of himself then sighed.
"Edward... He has always been conflicted with whatever we are... But you know that already..." he looked at her. No, she did not know that because the Edward that she had grown up with didn't have these issues.
She had heard stories of him deviating from the lifestyle during his first few years with Carlisle but never this serious but then, Alice came along and whatever his struggles were, it no longer mattered. There was no more room for feeling sorry for his existence because he had found his reason for living.
"He wanted you to have a normal, happy life as a human... Free from the danger that our kind brings" Carlisle added.
"And do you think that would be possible knowing what I know and knowing that in the first place, I was meant for him?"
He shook his head in response.
"I don't think Edward really knows the consequences of what he did... he left me broken Carlisle... "Bella started to relay the story, thinking about how Charlie felt while he told the story to Alice. She was relaying the same story to Carlisle and to anyone who was listening.
There was a strangled cry from behind them and both of them turned around at a devastated Esme. She was in front of Bella instantly and hugged the girl while Esme tried to keep from sobbing. Bella felt sorry for her mother that could not cry tears anymore.
"Please don't be upset Esme. I didn't intend for you to be upset" Bella rubbed her back, trying to calm her down and looked at Carlisle sadly. "I'm not trying to lay guilt on you but you have to know that I was hurt, not just by Edward leaving... but by everyone else as well. I don't want to feel that way... again. You are my family... and I don't want to lose my family."
"I can see the error of letting Edward decide what was best for you when the family didn't really see leaving as a solution. We thought it was the best course of action for you to have that normalcy that Edward wanted for you. Forgive us Isabella.
Especially me, when I allowed Edward to go, I believed he would eventually realize that it was a mistake to stay away from you, that he'll eventually return right away but he was much more stubborn than I thought. I do hope his stubbornness did not cause him his chance of being with you... "
Bella shook her head. "I don't think I'd be able to stop loving him even after what he did" since having a mate, Bella knew that it would not be easy to stop loving your mate so she knew this Bella still loves Edward.
"He hasn't stopped loving you that we can attest. He just needed to see past his inner demons to be able to accept that he's not destroying you by loving you" Carlisle told her sincerely and he was right.
"I want to help him understand that. Who wouldn't want to love and be loved in return? Even if he thinks that he's the darkest, most evil creature of the night, he deserves that love. The universe owes him that"
Carlisle placed his hand in her shoulders in an affectionate gesture. "Thank you for loving our son. We will do everything in our power to make sure that he sees reason. Even if it means holding him down to keep him from running away again. "Bella couldn't help but smile at that. She wanted that too, for this Bella.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: whew! this one took much longer than usual to post. Sorry about that. This one is also longer to at least make up for it. Thank you all for your feedback. Keep liking the story please :)