Two weeks later
"And they lived happily ever after." Logan said, closing the book.
Orie sprang up on the bed. "They always do."
Logan winced. "Not always," He thought.
He smoothed the comforter, tucking her in tight. Wanting to get off the subject, he quickly changed pace. "You like your new room? Autie Honor did a good job didn't she?"
Honor had taken one look at the white and beige minimalist room that Logan had set up for Orie, and demanded that he change it. She grabbed his American Express Centurion card and all but ransacked the New Haven Pottery Barn Kids store. She threw around words like "dust ruffle" and "valance", throwing stuff into the cart at lightning speed. A few hours later Orie had a pink room fit for a princess.
Orie picked at the fluffy, frilly pink blanket ."Well. . .it's a lot of pink."
Logan chuckled. He glanced around at the walls that he had spent all weekend painstakingly painting "ballet slipper pink" as Honor had dictated. "It is a lot of pink. You don't like pink?"
She shrugged. "Orange is better. . . but don't tell Auntie Honor that."
He kissed her tenderly on top of the head. "I won't tell her if you don't tell her that I agree with you."
"It's a promise." Orie said smiling.
He turned on her night light, calming blue stars projecting across the cloud of pink. He kissed her head once more. "Good night."
He walked to the door, turning out the lights. He was about to shut the door when he heard Orie's tiny voice call him. "Daddy?"
He poked his head back in. "Yeah?"
"I was just wondering. . ."
"You were just wondering. . . ?" He copied her tone.
"When are you going to make mommy smile again?'
Logan arched his eyebrow, confused. "Make mommy smile again?"
Orie sat up in her bed. "Since you've been back, mommy has smiled so much. Like really big smiles. She's so happy. I love seeing mommy happy. She hasn't seen you in a while, so she hasn't been smiling as much."
Despair coursed through Logan's body, numbness clouding his eyes. His blood froze, scared to pass through his broken heart again. He sat down on the edge of Orie's bed. "Orie. . . " he sighed, conflicted, not wanting to break the hopeful look on her face."I love your mommy. I've known she was special from the moment I saw her. I want to make that very clear."
Orie nodded her head in understanding.
"She makes me happy just as much as I make her happy, but sometimes, things that make you happy, also make you sad."
"Like when mommy and grandma watch movies that make them cry?"
"Exactly" Logan croaked, his voice cracking.
Orie shimmied out from her blankets, and snuggled up next to Logan. "Is that a bad thing daddy?"
Logan smoothed her hair softly. "It's not, but sometimes, there's more sadness than happiness and that's not good for anybody. I want mommy to smile again too, but I think mommy needs to make herself smile again before I can."
Orie looked up at him, the hope in her big blue eyes crushing him. "But. . . you're going to make her smile again someday?"
He tried to swallow the lump that was now permanently lodged in his throat. "I hope so."
She crawled back to her pillow, yawning. "Daddy?"
He tucked the pink comforter snug up by her chin. "Yeah baby?"
"I love having you as a daddy. You make me happy too."
A smile spread across his broken face. "Not as happy as you make me."
…
Rory paced nervously back and forth on the sidewalk outside Logan's Brownstone, rehearsing her speech over and over. She shivered, pulling her purple wool peacoat tighter around her. .The sun had set hours ago, sending the temperature plummeting. She hadn't planned on standing outside in the cold, and certainly had not dressed for it, but fear had her rooted on the small cement walkway, unable to approach Logan's door. Her heart was racing, practically jumping out of her throat.
"Suck it up Gilmore" she muttered out loud, forcing herself to walk up the stairs. She made it to the third stare before fear crippled her, forcing her back down to the sidewalk. She had already chickened out once, the night Jess had given her a copy of her book. She had driven about an hour until her mind won, and she veered the car into a brisk u-turn, speeding all the way to Stars Hollow. Rash and spontaneity was not her strong suit. She assured herself that she just needed to come up with an argument, a concrete reasoning that she could plead with Logan. However, here she was, two weeks later, and she still could not face him. She thought about her argument, how she had plotted and planned knowing all the while it wouldn't matter to Logan. He hated her. It was useless.
She started to walk back towards her car, when her grandfather's sentiments echoed in her head. "What she tackles, she conquers." Her grandfather would be so ashamed of her constantly running from her problems.
"Rory?" Logan's voice called from the doorway.
She turned around swallowing hard. It was now or never. She quickly walked up the steps, coming face to face with Logan. The way he looked at her, bitter and scorn, made Rory's heart feel like it had been punched from her chest. "Hi Logan. Can we talk?"
"It's almost eleven p.m." He spat, his words almost downright dripping with disgust. "My neighbor called, saying someone was pacing back and forth acting sketchy in front of my house."
"I really need to talk to you," She said, her eyes pleading.
"We've talked enough." He sneered. He started to shut the door.
Rory sat down on his stoop. "I'm not leaving until I say what I need to say. If you listen to me, and I mean really listen, and still feel the same, I promise I'll leave you alone, but not until you listen."
Logan sighed reluctantly. "Come in before my neighbors call the cops on you."
He waved at his neighbor across the street, , who was not so discreetly peeping out of her third story window. Rory quickly followed him inside, before he changed his mind.
He led her to the formal setting room, the very same room that she had told him about Orie all those months ago. That disastrous first night seemed a lifetime ago, the tumultuous events something she thought she had been past.
He sat down on the plush white sofa. "Do you need to down a fifth of scotch to tell me this?" He asked sarcastically.
Rory shook her head. "I need to face this head on, no buffer." She swallowed hard. "Logan, I'm sorry."
He rolled his eyes. "Words mean nothing without actions."
"That's what my therapist said too."
He looked up, locking eyes with her for the first time. "Your therapist?"
She nodded. "I've started seeing a therapist. While running from our problems is kind of a Gilmore tradition, I don't want to pass that down to our daughter. I don't want her to miss out on something as incredible as what we had, just because she's scared. She needs to learn healthy coping strategies and relationships, and I need to model them for her. I don't want her to sabotage herself, like I did. I want her to face her problems like an adult, like I'm trying to do now."
"I'm glad that you're working on yourself." Logan said timidly, not looking at Rory.
Rory swallowed hard. "I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say."
Logan rolled his eyes. "You still don't get it do you? Rory, I gave up my whole life for you. I cut off my parents. . . I left Odette because all I could think of was you. Rory, you consumed my life! I took you back when everyone in my life was telling me how stupid I was, how much you were going to hurt me. . . turns out they were right."
Rory bit her lip, trying to suppress the tears trying to flee from her eyes. "you don't deserve anything that I've done to you. Keeping you from Orie, running from you, not communicating, you don't deserve any of it. All you've ever done was love me, and I've run from you every time. I didn't realize how much I was hurting until you came back into my life. I tried to pretend that you weren't that big of a part of my life, but once you left, the absence of you was everywhere. It hurts, always thinking of you, knowing that I can't have you because of my own accord. The pain isn't all bad, it's a reminder that what we had was real, something so special that it could impact me this much."
"Did you come here for pity?" He asked, his face twisted in grief.
"No, I came here to tell you that I love you. . . .and that scares me."
"Well that's just great to hear." He muttered.
Rory sighed. "Do you know what scares me more? Losing you. So while yes, the thought of commitment scares me, I don't want to lose you. I know we've had this messy, wild, chaotic ride full of twists and turns, but that's what makes best sellers right?"
She pulled her book from her bag, handing it to him. "I've started thinking of Life as a book. I want the happy ending, but if I skip chapters would it still be a bestseller? No! I need the twists and turns, I need the plot to thicken. I can't skip chapters. That's not how life works. I have to read every line, meet every character. I'm sure I won't enjoy it all, some chapters may even make me cry for weeks . . but happiness may be on the next page. I'll read things I don't want to read,and have chapters that I don't want the page to end.. . and Logan, this page we're on now? I don't want it to ever end."
Logan stood up, placing his hand in hers. "Rory. . . "
Rory's face fell. "It's ok."
She turned to walk out the door, but Logan's grip on her hand tightened and he pulled her back into him. Their eyes locked, screaming all the apologies they couldn't communicate. He grazed the side of her cheek softly, before cupping her chin in his hand, and bringing his lips to hers. "I love you too."
The End
A/N: I am working on a small epilogue so stay tuned! Hope you enjoyed the story!