The light coming in from the windows woke Blitz up. He had spent the night at Stolas' place after they had done their monthly banging. Blitz admitted to himself that he was getting used to this arrangement. At first, he was going through the motions: get in, make bird boy cum, and keep your job. But recently he had enjoyed the time they had together. He didn't even mind feathers getting into his mouth anymore.
Blitz turned to the side of the bed, expecting to see Stolas look at him with his "Hello, handsome" eyes. He wasn't there, but Blitz noticed a figure crouching in front of an open drawer on the other side of the room. By the looks of his outfit, Blitz recognized the figure was Stolas in his royal attire.
"Huh, you're up early," Blitz said
"Oh yes, I wanted to give you something," Stolas replied as he stood up, closing the drawer. As he turned around, Blitz noticed he was holding a big, brown book in his hands. Stolas approached and handed the book over to him.
"Ok, what is this?" Blitz asked as he took it. "The book of your family tree?"
"No Blitzy," Stolas said almost disappointingly, "that's your very own grimoire."
Blitz couldn't believe what he just said. "My...my own what?"
"Your own grimoire," Stolas repeated, "I pulled some strings to get my hands on this for you. Now you no longer have to borrow mine."
"Wait, does that mean..."
"Yes," Stolas said with melancholy as he nodded. "it means our arrangement is over. You no longer need to visit me for fornication once a month."
Blitz was shocked, "I...I don't understand. I thought you loved sex with me?"
"Oh, I do. I love almost nothing more than your big imp dick rammed into my ass. And the creative times we've had recently, oh my, I loved every second of them." Stolas said with lust in his voice, before changing it back to sadness.
"It's just that...I've been thinking a lot, and I realized this whole thing we have is because of my selfishness. You might have started this, but I let it continue. Not once did I think about how this would affect my family. It's made their life, as well as my own, more of a hell than hell has been for us. My daughter hates me more than she usually does. And did you know my wife sent an assassin to kill me?" Blitz remembered Striker trying to kill Stolas during the Harvest Moon Festival and put two and two together. But Stolas looked like he had enough on his plate, so Blitz shook his head.
Stolas continued, "While I personally no longer care about what Stella thinks, I can't have Octavia be in any more emotional pain than she's already in. So my hope is that if we stop seeing each other and I try to focus more on my family, they'll forget this entire thing happened, and Via can feel more at home again."
"Stolas…" Blitz said in shock. He noticed a tear roll down one of Stolas' eyes.
"Our arrangement is over," Stolas said as he walked toward the exit. "You can leave out the front. Stella is out with her friends. Goodbye, Blitzy."
Blitz was still shocked as he left the mansion. On his way to the office, he stopped by a bridge near the freeway next to his work. Looking over his new grimoire, he remembered the vision he saw at the D.H.O.R.K.S base, still hearing their voices mocking him about how he pushes people away, how he's afraid to love, and that he'll die alone. Granted, in this situation, Stolas pushed him away. That didn't make it better for Blitz, though.
He told himself that enough is enough and threw the book in the river under the bridge. He decided that, instead of pushing people away, he would do what he could to keep the people he cared about as close as possible to him. To that end, he thought of doing something completely unexpected for him.
Blitz changed course from the office to the mall. In there, he bought something needed for what he was about to do. But as he was about to leave, he saw the last person he wanted to see today near the exit: Verosika Mayday. She and her crew looked like they were out shopping, probably buying more Beelzejuice and slutty clothes. Blitz tried his best to ignore them as he walked by, hoping they wouldn't see them.
"Well, look who it is, sluts. The chief executive douchebag." Verosika said in a mocking tone.
Damn it.
"Really not in the mood for this right now," Blitz responded as he kept walking, trying his best to get out of there.
"Oh, are you sure you're not in the mood, or did you just leave your dick at that shithole you call an office?" Verosika snapped back.
Blitz stopped and looked back at her with an angry look on his face. "Look, I'm sorry for being an absolutely shitty boyfriend, ok!? I'm sorry I ran off and had you pay the hotel bill! And I'm sorry for stealing your car, running three rings to Wrath, and maxing out your credit card on shitty horse riding lessons! Right now, I'm trying to change! So I'm about to do something I don't normally do, and I am absolutely scared shitless! But I'm gonna do it, anyway! So, for the love of Satan and all of hell, leave me the fuck alone!" Blitz then walked out, slamming the door behind him and leaving Verosika and Co. speechless.
"What the fuck was he talking about?" She thought to herself.
Blitz snuck onto the balcony of Stolas' room and opened the door slowly to see if he was inside. Luckily, he was sitting at a desk in the room's side writing something down. Blitz closed the door quietly and knocked on it. Stolas, surprised, got up and answered it.
"Blitzy!?" Stolas said with shock as he saw who knocked on his door. "What are you doing here?"
"Is your wife home?" Blitz asked.
"N-no," Stolas answered, "she's still out with her friends."
"Good, this makes it easier," Blitz said as he got down on one knee and presented him with a little black box.
"Stolas…" Blitz opened the box, presenting a brimstone ring he bought from the mall. "...will you marry me?"
Stolas made a gasp. "Oh, Blitzy! I didn't know you've felt this way about me."
"Yea, I don't know if it's the Stockholm Syndrome kicking in or me getting a taste for bird dick, but I've got feelings for you."
"It's just that...my wife..."
"Divorce her ass then!" Blitz yelled before restraining himself. "I'm sorry. I don't want to pressure you into anything. I know you're dealing with a lot of shit right now and I'll admit this probably wasn't the best time to do this. Just give me a yes or no answer."
"...Yes...Yes, I'll marry you!" Stolas answered, crying. No matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't keep away from this imp.
"Oh thank Satan," Blitz said, "that really puts a lot of weight off my shoulders." Blitz then put the ring on his finger before Stolas pulled him in for a deep kiss, something that Blitz didn't fight at all. Eventually, Stolas pulled away.
"Oh, we simply must tell Octavia!" Stolas stated with excitement. She was in the dining room doing studies at the table as Stolas came in with Blitz and told her what had happened.
"He fucking what?" Octavia said in shock.
"Yes, he proposed to me! We're engaged! Isn't it romantic!?" Stolas said with glee as he showed her the ring on his finger.
"You've got to be fucking joking." She said with her head in her hands. She thought it was bad enough that he was banging this guy once a month, but now he was going to marry him and complicate things further?
"Oh, it's real sweetie," Blitz spoke, "I didn't climb the side of a mansion just for shits and giggles."
"Does Mom know about any of this?" Octavia asked, looking at Stolas.
"Uhhhh, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it," Stolas said, making the answer obvious to her. "Right now, I need to plan for the wedding! So while I do that, why don't you go hang out with your soon-to-be stepfather?"
"What?" Blitz said, "Hold on, I'm not very good at this kind of thing."
"Oh, it'll be fun, Blitzy!" Stolas said as he put his arms on his shoulders. "I know you already have a goth daughter yourself, so you should have plenty of experience!"
"Does she also have syphilis and a tendency to break things when she gets pissed off?" Blitz asked.
"No, and no," Stolas answered, "just do this for me, please. It would mean a lot." As he said this, he looked into Blitz's eyes with a somewhat pouty face that Blitz thought was kind of cute. He eventually agreed to hang out with Octavia. Thank Satan he had the day off.
"Oh, thank you Blitzy!" Stolas said, giving Blitz a kiss on the forehead. "Octavia, why don't you take him to your room?" He then escorted them to Octavia's room before heading back to the dining room, wondering if they should have a Pridian Orthodox wedding or a normal Satanic wedding.
Octavia sat down on her bed, still processing what the hell was happening. This left the room quiet, so Blitz looked around the room to see if he could find anything to get a conversation going. Luckily, he saw a poster of the newest album by Fuck you, Dad on her wall. He was familiar with them thanks to Loona.
"Huh, so you listen to Fuck you, Dad too?" Blitz said, breaking the silence.
"Yea," Octavia responded, "you listen to them?"
"My daughter does, sometimes at full blast." Blitz continued to look around the room and noticed a black electric guitar leaning upright on a wall near the side of the room. "Oh shit, you have a guitar?"
"Oh yea, I do. I'm not very good at it though." Octavia said, "I only play it when I want to drown out my parents fighting." Blitz picked up the guitar and did a very impressive riff on it. It caught her by surprise.
"Holy shit!" Octavia shouted, "You can actually play the guitar!?"
Blitz smirked. "I know a thing or two. I used to be part of a band in high school: The Plague of Frogs! Don't tell Moxxie about that though, he'll never stop asking me about it if he finds out."
"What happened to the band?" Octavia asked.
"Let's just say it crashed and burned before it could launch." Blitz answered. By crashed and burned he meant he smashed the lead singer's head in with a guitar as well as blow up their stage with explosives while the rest of the band was still on it. High school sure was a wild time for Blitz.
Octavia ended up being silent again, looking a bit down. Blitz looked around but couldn't find any more things he could talk about involving things in the room. So he took measures into his own hands.
"Say, do you know what I do for a living?" Blitz said.
"Aren't you guys like assassins?" Octavia responded.
"Well, broadly speaking yea, but we're special. We go up to earth and kill people for whoever sinner pays us to." As he was speaking, he pulled out a pistol. "And yes, I've killed people with this gun." Blitz approached Octavia and handed her the pistol.
"You wanna try it out?" Blitz offered.
Octavia was shocked, "Wait, really?"
"Yep," Blitz said. Octavia took the gun from him. It felt a little scary to her, but it also felt pretty cool. Blitz walked over to the accent table opposite to where Octavia was sitting and pulled out a figure of Loo Loo, the mascot of Loo Loo Land, from his pockets. He then put the figure down on the table. "I carry these things around for target practice." He said.
Blitz walked up right beside Octavia. "Try shooting it." He told Octavia.
"S-shooting it?" Octavia said nervously.
"Yea," he said as he helped her aim at the figure. "Keep your shoulders straight and unless you have a sixth sense of where someone's vital organs are like I do, aim down that sight. When you've got that dumb apple in your sights, just pull the trigger."
Octavia took a deep breath before closing one eye to aim down the sight. Once she was at least somewhat confident, she pulled the trigger. The bullet went right between the figure's eyes. Even Blitz was impressed. But he brushed it off.
"Eh, beginner's luck. Let's try something more challenging." Blitz said as he pulled out three more Loo Loo figures and placed them in a line on the table. "Think you can handle three targets at once?" He said. The moment he finished that sentence, Octavia fired three shots. Blitz looked back at the figures and saw a hole right between the eyes of each one. He looked at her with a dumbstruck look. She just smiled nervously.
Blitz decided to turn things up a notch. He pulled out six Loo Loo figures. "Ok, so I'm gonna juggle these fuckers. See if you can hit these in the air." He said as he juggled. When he threw one figure into the air, he saw Octavia shoot exactly one round into each figure. After the juggling finished, he looked at the figures. Same as before, a hole right between the eyes.
Blitz looked at Octavia with awe. He saw something in her that he saw in Moxxie and Millie when he hired them. He saw the eyes of a killer and a damn good one at that. "Have you ever considered a job?" Blitz asked her.
Octavia sighed before looking away, lost in thought. Blitz dropped all the figures and sat down next to her.
"Is something bugging you, Octavia?" He said.
"Don't get me wrong, you seem like a pretty cool guy," Octavia said, "And I don't blame you for what's been happening. I mostly blame my dad for being horny. But throughout my whole life, I thought my parents had it pretty good. Not great, but good. Then one day, it all came crashing down, and it hurt a lot. Now you come in and propose to my dad...it's just a lot. And I don't want to go through that pain again. So I'm sorry if I feel a little distant."
"O...can I call you O?" said Blitz. "Listen, recently I've been through some self-reflection and I think I know what you're going through. I act like an asshole a lot and it tends to detract people from me, and that's kind of the point. Maybe it's because I'm worried that if I get close to someone, they'll betray me. So I decide to betray them first, do it on my terms. But recently I realized that, after all that, you're still the same thing you're afraid of being: Alone."
Blitz became quiet for a bit, trying to process his thoughts before continuing. "I was given an opportunity to leave and never come back, but I chose to stay and be with your dad. You know why?"
"Why?" She asked
"Because I made a promise to myself that I would try my best to bring people I care about in instead of pushing them away. And to be honest, I'm kind of falling for him. Yea, he's stuck up, but he's sweet and cares for the people he loves. Plus, he can be really cute sometimes." Blitz then put an arm around Octavia before proceeding.
"I know I might not be the most trustworthy and I'm still gonna be an asshole, at this point it's in my nature, but I promise I'll do whatever it takes to make this work. Not just for his or your sake, but for mine as well." Octavia began to smile.
"Tell you what," Blitz said, "If I ever do anything that emotionally hurts you a lot, such as running away with somebody else, you have the right to take my gun and shoot me in the balls."
"Wait, what?" Octavia said with confusion.
"In the balls," Blitz repeated.
"I-I can just shoot you anywhere-"
"IN...THE...BALLS."
"Why the balls?"
"It ups the stakes!"
Octavia eventually just laughed it off. Blitz was weird, but it felt like he really wanted to be with her father. "Thanks for the talk...Dad."
Blitz began to cry from her calling him that. "Not even my own daughter calls me that."
Just then, they heard a loud voice coming from the dining room. "YOU FUCKING WHAT!?" the voice screamed. Both of them recognized the voice was from none other than Stella. Chances are she found out about the engagement.
Blitz and Octavia exited the room and went to the source of the sound. They confirmed their suspicions when they saw Stella screaming her innards out at Stolas who, despite the circumstances, was handling himself well.
"I don't know how I can clarify this more, darling. I want a divorce, plain and simple." Stolas said.
"You can't be fucking serious!" Stella yelled. "This marriage was arranged by our fucking families, and you're just going to throw it all away like it was nothing!?"
"Yes, I am. In fact, I just got engaged." Stolas said, showing her the engagement ring.
"By who!?" As she said this, she looked toward Blitz and Octavia standing by the doorway into the dining room, immediately answering her own question. She then looked back at Stolas. "Oh, I see how this is. You can't help your disgusting fetishes, so you're leaving me for a filthy imp!"
"It's fine, Mom." Octavia intervened, "He's actually pretty cool."
Stella faced Octavia, "You stay out of this, young lady! I will not have these two turn you into more of a degenerate than you already are!"
"What!" Octavia said, not believing what her mother just said.
"Oh, shit," Blitz said with an amused look on his face.
Stolas' calm face changed into one of menace as his eyes turned bright red. "...What did you just call her?" He said with subdued anger. Stella looked back at Stolas and instead of feeling anger, she felt fear. He never used this look on her.
"I've had to put up with a lot of shit from you," Stolas said as he slowly approached Stella, who was backing away from him. "From all the yelling and smashing to the hiring of a fucking assassin on me!" He slowly changed to his full demon form, backing Stella against a wall. The anger in his voice was showing more and more. "But implying that our daughter, MY daughter, is a degenerate!? That I cannot stand! So let me repeat myself. We are getting a divorce, and that is final! Now get out!"
Stella ran out of the room in fear. It was safe to assume that she up and left the mansion. Stolas returned to his normal form and looked at Octavia and Blitz, who were surprised to say the least.
"Oh dear," Stolas said with concern, "did I scare you, Via? I've never used my full form in front of you."
Octavia just walked over to Stolas and hugged him. "You're fine, Dad. In fact, it felt nice that you did all of that for me." Stolas smiled and hugged her back.
"Damn Stolas," said Blitz, "maybe you wanna try that form on me next time we're in bed?"
Stolas approached Blitz and put a hand on his shoulder. "Well, maybe when I'm on top next time." He said as he poked his nose. Octavia grunted in disgust. "For now, I want you to come and tell me what you think of the wedding plans." Stolas then walked into his room. Before Blitz followed him, he gave Octavia his business card.
"If you're still interested in a job, I have an offer for you. You've got talent, O. It'd suck if it went to waste." Blitz said before he followed Stolas into his room. Octavia looked at the I.M.P business card. The idea of becoming an assassin didn't sound too bad to her. In fact, it sounded kind of cool. But for now, she put the business card away in her pocket, focusing on the wedding before deciding.
Stella and Stolas eventually divorced. Even though their marriage was arranged, their families forgot the whole reason for it to begin with, so they didn't really give a shit. Stella moved back into her family's mansion and thanks to Stolas' negotiation skills (and Blitz's bribing of the lawyers) he got to keep custody of Octavia.
The day of the wedding came. It was held in a satanic church, which looked like a normal church, but instead of statues of Jesus and saints on the walls, it was statues of Lucifer Magne and other influential demons. The ceiling was quite high, and instead of a cross on the wall behind the altar, it was a pentagram.
Blitz stood in front of the altar, looking down the aisle and waiting for Stolas. He was wearing a fancy black suit. To his left in the seats were relatives and subjects of the Ars Goetia demons, and on his right was the I.M.P crew. When he first told them he was getting married, Millie was the first to congratulate him. Moxxie brought up that this technically made him royalty, something that Blitz admitted he hadn't thought about. This made Moxxie smile, reassured that Blitz really did change.
Loona was still processing what was happening. "There's no way he would do something this selfless." She thought to herself. That Blitz decided to be with this guy without any ulterior motive when he could've run away like he tends to do was nearly impossible to comprehend to her.
Stolas came into the room, walking down the aisle. He was wearing a white suit and had Octavia walking beside him on his right with her arm around his. As he walked, a church member started playing a metal version of the Bridal Chorus on his electric guitar. Hell didn't have that much originality when it came to weddings.
Octavia sat on the Ars Goetia side of the aisle in the front as Stolas walked up the little stairs to the altar, standing to Blitz's right. The priest came out from behind the altar and stood in front of it, looking down the aisle and at the soon-to-be-married couple. The priest wore a black robe and wore a biretta with devil horns on it, representing the popular depiction of Satan.
"We are all gathered here to witness the unholy union of Blitz and Stolas." the priest said, "Till death, cheating, boredom or money do they part. If there is a damned soul here who does not wish these two to be married, speak now or forever hold your peace."
"I object!" A voice shouted from the other end of the church. Blitz and everyone else looked in the voice's direction and saw a figure near the large entrance to the church. That figure belonged to none other than Verosika Mayday, wearing her signature sunglasses.
She and her cronies came down the aisle, one of them holding a beatbox on their shoulder, blasting Verosika's music. A few of them started to flirt with some of the Ars Goetia subjects and relatives. Some were into it, some not. Verosika stopped at the stairs to the altar, eyes focused on Blitz.
"What the fuck are you doing, Verosika!?" Blitz shouted.
"You know this woman?" Stolas asked him.
"He's my ex," Verosika said as she took off her sunglasses, "And I want him back."
The entire church gasped, while Moxxie was still confused as to why a pop star like her would want...Blitz.
"You what now?" said Blitz, confused. She then grabbed him by the chin and pulled his face closer to hers.
"The speech you gave at the mall made me think recently," she said seductively, "and I realized that I wasn't perfect either. But if you're willing to change, so am I." She kissed him on the lips for a short time before continuing. "Come on, Blitz. I bet I can give you better blowjobs than Creepy Mouth over there." Verosika said motioning to Stolas, who was too dumbstruck to react.
Blitz saw Octavia in the corner of his eye. She had a look of fear on her face as she was watching what was happening before her. Fear of what was going to happen. Blitz remembered the promise he gave her and pushed Verosika away. "Fuck off!" He said, "Look, I know what you're trying to do. You're trying to ruin something of mine, just like I ruined something of yours. I told you before I'm sorry! But right now I'm just trying to find happiness and I'm doing that by marrying the man I love! So please, just let me have this." He started to get teary-eyed.
Verosika just smiled. "You really have changed." She then turned to her cronies. "Ok guys, we're done here!" They groaned as some of them were starting to get personal with the guests. "Relax," she said, "we'll stop by a restaurant or someplace public and we'll fuck there." The crew started to leave the church with Verosika. She then turned around and looked at Blitz.
She wanted to make sure that Blitz's speech about being better he gave at the mall was legit, and she got her answer. "I'm happy for you...Blitz." She said with a smile before leaving.
"What the fuck just happened?" Blitz asked himself. The priest cleared his throat to get his attention back to the wedding. As he turned back, he saw Stolas crying. "What's wrong?" he asked.
"You called me the man you loved. It felt nice," Stolas said. Blitz just smiled. Octavia smiled as well, getting teary-eyed for her father.
Blitz stood close to Stolas and held his hands, motioning the priest to continue. "If there are no further objections," the priest said, "Do you, Blitz, take this demon as your wedded husband?"
"I do," Blitz responded
"And do you, Stolas, take this imp as your wedded husband?"
"I do," Stolas responded, tears still in his eyes.
"Then by the power invested in me and Satan, I now pronounce you husband and husband. You now kiss the-" Before the priest could finish, Blitz pulled Stolas in for a kiss. The kissing turned into french kissing and Blitz eventually pushed Stolas to the ground, getting on top of him and undressing as they continued to tongue fuck.
"...or fuck the groom, that works too." the priest said, "Alright everybody, you may now leave. Unless you want to watch this." Octavia was happy for her new parents, but she was still not interested in watching them fuck. So she was one of the first people to leave, followed by Loona. Millie wanted to stay and watch, so Moxxie reluctantly stayed.
Octavia stood outside the church and pulled out the I.M.P business card. She thought back to the Loo Loo figures she shot with perfect accuracy. It was unclear to her how she was able to do that, especially since she felt nervous. It just felt natural to her. Maybe Blitz was right. Maybe she did have a talent for this sort of thing.
"Immediate Murder Professionals, huh?" She said to herself, "I guess it wouldn't hurt to give it a shot."