Chapter 12
Life is (Mostly) Easy
Still during lunchtime, 12th November
Still in the Great Hall
Upon the screaming death of Professor Snape in the Great Hall, there had been shocked silence from both professors and students. Then the murmurs had started, as everyone made factless guesses about what had killed Hogwarts's most hated professor.
One of the Weasley twins stood on his piece of bench and faced the Slytherin table. The twin said, "To honour the memory of Professor Snape, we propose that every Gryffindor lose one point today for 'breathing too loud.' But be sure that our Ravenclaw In Red"—both twins smiled down the table at firstie Hermione—"will make up our points-loss within a week."
That evening, again in the Great Hall
Vincent Crabbe, Gregory Goyle, Theodore Nott and Pansy Parkinson (in Harry's year), plus some Slytherins in older years, all received black envelopes by owl-mail. A black envelope meant that someone related to the addressee, this someone being a Gringotts vault-holder, had died.
At the same time, Harry got a letter from Gringotts that explained Right of Conquest; then Harry's letter declared that by Right of Conquest, Harry was Heir of seventeen Houses. These seventeen Houses were: Tom Marvolo Riddle's House Slytherin and House Gaunt; plus fifteen Death-Eater Houses. (Reading through the letter, Harry saw quickly that some of those fifteen Death-Eater Houses had living members who all sat at the Slytherin table.) When Harry turned seventeen, so his letter informed him, he not only would become Head of House for House Potter, he would become Head of all seventeen Conquered Houses.
A few minutes later, a mob of Slytherin students stood up and walked over to the first-years part of the Gryffindor table. Marcus Flint was in the lead, and was trying to look threatening.
But Flint was acting threatening only a few hours after Harry had been treated to a chocolate sundae with nuts that was bigger and more delicious than Harry ever had imagined, whilst Croaker had told stories about Harry's mum (that were vague in their details), and Croaker had explained about the different levels of magical power. Harry did not (yet) have a beard and he did not (yet) have a staff, but according to Croaker, Harry was a no-shit mage now.
A mage who had bested Voldemort, only hours ago.
So Harry was not the least bit afraid of Marcus Flint.
"What does this letter mean, Potter?" Flint yelled.
Flint was standing as close to Harry as the Gryffindor table and its other-side bench would allow, whilst Flint glared at Harry. Flint was surrounded by other Slytherin boys. If both Flint and Harry had been Muggles, Flint would have been a frightening figure—but neither of the boys were Muggles.
Harry replied calmly, "How would I know what your letter means? Before I can explain it, you need to read it to me."
"Says here that House Flint is yours by Right of Conquest, I'm not Heir Flint anymore, you're Heir Flint, and when you turn seventeen, you'll be Lord Head of House Flint."
Harry nodded. "Yep, my Gringotts letter says pretty much the same thing. Except it lists seventeen Houses, not only House Flint."
"Why? Why do you now own House Flint?"
"Well, I don't know your father, or whoever was your Head of House, but I'm guessing that he had Voldemort's ugly tattoo on his left forearm and he died today? Does this sound about right?"
"He had the Dark Mark, yeah, but he was Imperiused to take it."
"Ri-i-ight. Listen up: If the men and women who died today had the Dark Mark, then they died from the Dark Mark, which means they took the Dark Mark willingly, or the Dark Mark never would've formed on their arms. That's the truth from the Unspeakables. Anything different that anyone else says is a lie by murderous cowards."
"You calling my pa a murderous coward?"
"If you have to ask, you're the stupid son of a murderous coward."
"Avada Kedavra!"
In an eyeblink, every dinner plate in the "firsties" part of the Gryffindor table jumped into the air and rotated a quarter-turn. The plates flew left and right to partly overlap, and formed a floating shield.
The plates (and the bits of food still on them) exploded when Flint's green spell hit them. Porcelain shrapnel shot backwards, toward Harry—
—but whilst no spell could block the Killing Curse, Harry's mage-level, accidental-magic shield-charm saved him from being ripped to shreds by porcelain shards.
At the same moment, one of the Weasley twins hit Flint with Petrificus Totalus. Surprisingly, Flint did not fall over; he just looked like he had been turned into a stone statue. Flint's eyes, however, could move.
Those eyes looked angry.
Harry took a calming breath. He looked down at the table—on the table, a few inches in front of his robes, was an oblong pile of food-bits and plate-pieces.
The other Conquered-House Slytherins were looking at Harry in shock. Harry had just successfully blocked a surprise Killing Curse; and had done this wordlessly with no wand in hand.
"Neville," Harry asked calmly, "in Wizarding Britain, if a member of a House unsuccessfully tries to kill the underage Head of his House, how can the member be punished?"
Neville, in a stunned voice, replied, "The member can be disowned—he forgets all the family magics, is unable to speak or to write his family name, and magical documents list his surname as 'No-Name.' He can't inherit. Or family magic can be called-upon to take his magic. Or family magic can take his life. If the member wrongs his Head of House, the Head of House can bring judgement, even if the Head of House is underage and is otherwise restricted in his authority."
"I see," Harry replied. Without Harry speaking a word or making a wand movement, the wand of petrified Marcus Flint jumped out of statue-Marcus's hand and into Harry's hand.
Then Harry asked Neville, "How do I punish him?"
Neville replied, "You point your wand straight up, you say, 'As underage Head of House Flint, I punish Marcus Flint as follows,' then you state his punishment. Then you say, 'So mote it be.' "
Harry looked at statue-fied Marcus Flint. The entire Great Hall was silent. With Snape dead and with Dumbledore in Azkaban, nobody took it upon himself to interfere in what was a Flint family matter.
Harry noticed Headmistress McGonagall standing about ten feet away. She was silent, and she looked uncertain about what to say or do.
Harry said, "Headmistress, is there any way to clean off this table?"
McGonagall said, "Swotty." Harry heard a pop. "Clean up the mess on the Gryffindor table, and set out clean plates."
Pop. A house-elf who wore a tea-towel appeared on the table, in front of Harry. The house-elf clicked his fingers, and the mess disappeared. The house-elf clicked his fingers again, and clean plates appeared in front of the firstie Lions whose plates Harry had "borrowed." Then pop, the house-elf disappeared.
Amazingly, Hermione asked the house-elf no questions.
Harry said, "Just so I'm clear, Neville: I can point my wand at the ceiling, say certain words, and Marcus Flint will die?"
"Because you're the underage Head of House Flint, yes."
Harry spoke a little louder: "Does anyone here—Gryffindor, Slytherin or Ravenclaw—say that Neville is wrong, that I don't have the right as Flint Head of House to kill this boy who tried to kill me first?"
One of the Slytherin boys—a fourth-year, judging from his size—said loudly, "You sidestepped Marcus's question. Why do you now own House Flint?"
"Because Voldemort nobbled Marcus's Head of House into being branded, like a stupid cow. Then today I killed Voldemort, which apparently means I now own what Voldemort owned. And since Voldemort owned your dead daddies, I now own everything your dead daddies owned. Which means I now own the lot of you."
The fourth-year(?) Slytherin boy said, "You're a liar, Potter! We saw the Dark Lord taken out of here, yeah, but what proof do you have that he's dead? And you expect us to believe you killed him?"
Hermione said, "Why not? Harry killed a twelve-foot mountain troll. I'm a witness."
"Shut up, mudblood!" the Slytherin boy snapped.
Harry said, "To answer your question: If I were lying, none of you would've received the letters you got."
Then Harry looked towards the older-students part of the Gryffindor table. "Anyone know this wanker's name? I'm sure he'd lie if I asked him directly."
A fourth-year Gryffindor replied, "His name is Maleus Avery."
Harry drew his wand, pointed it at the ceiling, and said, "As underage Head of House Avery, I punish Maleus Avery as follows: he is disowned. He loses his family name, his family magic and his right to inherit. So mote it be."
Light flashed, Maleus glowed briefly, then he dropped to his knees, screaming.
Harry said calmly, "You called my best friend a mudblood. This cost you, mate."
In the shocked silence, Harry looked at the Weasley twins and said, "Please release Flint from the full body-bind curse."
This was done. Flint now was free to move, but he did not run away or try to grab his wand back.
Harry picked up Marcus Flint's wand, stared Flint in the eyes, then laid Flint's wand on the Gryffindor table. Harry laid his own wand on his new, clean plate. Harry again looked into Flint's now-puzzled eyes and said, "The good news is, I won't use Flint family magic to order your death."
Flint started to speak, as the other Slytherins (except for Maleus No-Name) all looked as though they thought they would get off easy.
Boom. A loud noise sounded inside Flint's chest. He dropped limp to the ground, with his dead face agonised.
"Return to your seats, Slytherins," the headmistress ordered, "before Mr Potter harms you further."
The other Slytherins rushed back to their table without a word. Their faces were pale.
Whilst McGonagall was lifting and was floating away the corpse of Marcus Flint, Hermione said, "Harry, may we please go back to something you glossed over? You killed Voldemort again?"
The Great Hall instantly went silent.
Harry sighed. "Yes, I killed Voldemort again. Forever, this time—the Unspeakables made sure of it. Bugger-all, I'm famous twice."
Meanwhile, elsewhere in Hogwarts Castle
The Spirit of Hogwarts sent a letter of invitation to Emma Granger and to Daniel Granger and to Reginald Finch-Fletchley. The invitation was to become the first Muggle member of the Hogwarts Board of Governors in centuries. The three identical letters said, "All three of you are qualified to serve on the Board, but only one of you can serve, so you three decide who this one will be. All three of you from now until the winnowing will have a Hogwarts house-elf, Cliffy, on call; afterwards, the Board member amongst you may continue to call Cliffy."
The letter gave no Muggle contact information; the Grangers and Reginald had to play with telephone directories. But quickly the Grangers and Reginald decided that on Sunday, 17th November, the Grangers would drive from Crawley (in West Sussex County, south-southwest of London) through London to the Finch-Fletchley manor (in Broadland district in Norfolk County, north-northeast of London); there the Finch-Fletchleys would host the Grangers for dinner.
The Grangers made the drive with Cliffy invisible in the car. For the Grangers, the house-elf had as many ignorant questions about the Muggle world as Hermione had complained about she being asked at Hogwarts.
After the Grangers arrived at Reginald's house, the Muggle adults told their stories over dinner. The Grangers were husband-and-wife dentists; Reginald Finch-Fletchley had an (unmentioned) aristocratic title and was distantly related to the Queen; Estelle Finch-Fletchley was a former fashion model and former (unfamous) actress, who had grown up in France. But these four adults were alike in the "adventures" they had lived through, in raising a magical child who had no way to know he/she was magical till Professor McGonagall had shown up.
Little Justin had floated toys; little Hermione had floated books that had been on high shelves. Angry little Hermione had blown up a television; scared little Justin had statue-fied a mare in the stables that had tried to kick him.
(The Finch-Fletchleys had gotten off easy, afterwards. The mare had lost her statue-ness after three hours, but had never tried to kick Justin again; but the Granger parents had been forced to buy a new telly.)
By 17th November, Reginald, Estelle, Dan and Emma had a good idea what day-to-day life at Hogwarts was like for their Muggle-born, first-year children. The two children still were awestruck by their lives at school; but what was clear to the four adults was that Muggle-borns were preyed upon by bullies, whilst the professors did nothing. The worst bully in the school had been the Potions professor (till he had died), but the headmaster, Albus Dumbledore, had protected the man.
But now Headmaster Dumbledore was in prison, and the Board of Governors bore the task of choosing his replacement.
Minerva McGonagall now was Acting Headmistress, but Dan, Emma and Reginald all had misgivings about her being awarded the position permanently; the three Muggles all felt that she would continue Dumbledore's many mistakes.
Over dessert, it was decided: Reginald Finch-Fletchley would accept the Board of Governors post, because he had the most free time of the three Muggles invited to be on the Board; but the Grangers would keep in constant telephone contact with Reginald.
Two days later (Tuesday, 19th November)
The new Board of Governors member Reginald Finch-Fletchley called for a meeting in the Great Hall, after dinner, of all Muggle-born and –raised students, in all seven years.
Reginald was shocked by what he saw and heard. Whilst the eyes the young girl who looked like both Emma and Dan Granger shone brightly with excitement, the Muggle-born sixth- and seventh-years acted like trapped animals. They told Reginald they had been bullied in Hogwarts and they faced job discrimination in Wizarding Britain because they were Muggle-borns; but since Hogwarts had not taught them nonmagical subjects, they would not get good jobs in nonmagical Britain, nor could they go to uni. Several upper-year Muggle-borns said things like, "McGonagall lied to me on my eleventh birthday!"
Someone mentioned Manchester Magical Academy, which was intended for Muggle-born students. MMA taught both magical and nonmagical subjects—and best of all for Muggle-borns, blood-purity snobs refused to send their children there.
Then came the first shocker for Reginald: Almost nobody in the room had heard of this school in Manchester that sounded much preferable for Muggle-borns.
The second shocker for Reginald came when a seventh-year Muggle-born looked at Justin, Hermione and the other Muggle-born firsties and said, "Transfer to Manchester. Transfer to MMA today, if you can. For a Muggle-born, every day at Hogwarts is a complete waste of your time."
Reginald growled, "Beginning today, Hogwarts won't be a waste of your time. The Board of Governors must choose a new headmaster, and did you know that the Board vote for headmaster must be unanimous? No wizard-raised magical Brit will become the next headmaster or –mistress, I guarantee you."
The next day (Wednesday, 20th November)
During the next meeting of the Board of Governors
The other members of the Board were shocked that Reginald did not rubber-stamp Minerva McGonagall as headmistress. In a condescending tone, Augusta Longbottom lectured Reginald as though he were a pathetically shy eleven-year-old. Reginald heard her out, then said archly, "I take it you're not used to winning arguments by showing the merits of your ideas instead of trying for intimidation?"
After McGonagall was voted down, the next candidate for headmaster was Robert MacGregor, the current deputy headmaster for Manchester Magical Academy. He turned down the post.
Later, he explained to the Daily Prophet his reasons: "Between learning that Potions had been taught by a Death Eater who bullied three quarters of the students, that History of Magic was taught by a goblins-obsessed ghost, that the post of DADA professor was cursed but no professor or Board member could be bothered to cancel the curse, and that Muggle Studies was taught be a bloody Pureblood, I was this-close to withdrawing my application. Why had the Board and the former headmaster allowed these travesties to befall the school? Then in their big dining room, students from the green table dared to question my suitability as headmaster, not for any academic lack I might have, but because I was a 'mudblood.' I stood up and said to Headmistress McGonagall, 'Students at MMA have better manners, know more and they won't birth Squib children. This isn't a school, it's a shrine to Pureblood delusions and I want no part of it. Goodbye.' Then I walked out, as students from the green table cheered."
The Board finally found a new headmaster: Sam Houston Kellner, formerly the deputy headmaster at Ilvermorny. As a ten-year-old boy, Kellner had been sorted into Thunderbird House (the House of the adventurous), and in his opening speech in Hogwarts's Great Hall, he made reference to the "adventure" of taking over Hogwarts.
Then the Board had to choose the deputy headmaster/headmistress. Reginald still had a low opinion of Minerva McGonagall, and saw Pomona Sprout and Filius Flitwick as equally suited for this post. Another Board member refused to consider Flitwick. Augusta Longbottom's first choice was McGonagall, with Sprout her second choice. The other Board members had no strong feelings for or against anyone. When the dust settled, Pomona Sprout became the deputy headmistress.
So what to do with McGonagall? Augusta Longbottom wanted to sack Sirius Black as Head of House Gryffindor, then give McGonagall back this position. But Reginald Finch-Fletchley quoted Gryffindor Muggle-borns who had given examples how McGonagall had been a negligent and ineffective Gryffindor Head. In the end, McGonagall, who briefly had been acting headmistress, was demoted to Transfiguration professor only.
Once the Board of Governors had chosen the headmaster and the deputy headmaster, and had chosen the postings for Minerva McGonagall, Headmaster Kellner was given the freedom to run Hogwarts as he saw fit.
Five days later (Monday, 25th November)
Headmaster Kellner did not hate on the Slytherins the way that MacGregor would have; but Kellner made it clear he was unimpressed with bullies. Several upper-year Slytherins and two seventh-year Ravenclaws learnt this the hard way, when they were expelled. Draco No-Name and Maleus No-Name each were given a week's suspension.
The Hogwarts wards were upgraded to what they should have been. Dark Lords were not allowed in, anyone with the Dark Mark was not allowed in (if somehow the Dark Mark'd person had survived Voldemort's death), and animaguses were blocked (except for cat-animagus Minerva McGonagall and Grim-animagus Sirius Black). Two days after the no-unknown-animaguses ward was activated, three Hufflepuff students found Rita Skeeter unconscious outside the Entrance Hall.
Kellner also built into the wards a long list of spells that, if they were cast outside of a classroom, would put the caster into a full body-bind and would alert the Spirit of Hogwarts, who would alert the headmaster. This was how the bullying Slytherins and the two bullying Ravenclaws had been caught.
While Gringotts goblins were at Hogwarts to upgrade the wards, they also were hired to exorcise Binns. Once this was done, Kellner hired a breathing History of Magic Professor, and hired Andromeda Black Tonks, who was a Healer at Saint Mungo's, to be the new Potions professor.
The Muggle Studies professor, who was a Pureblood, of course was replaced.
Then Headmaster Kellner, who did not feel a need to spend Hogwarts money on sherbet lemons, discovered that Hogwarts had enough funds to hire an English Composition professor, a Maths professor, a General Science professor and a British History professor.
Then Headmaster Kellner did something that got him written up on Page 1 of the Daily Prophet: He hired a team of Squibs to install a telephone in the headmaster's office. (Oddly, Kellner's statement of "What's the big deal? At Ilvermorny, every professor has a telephone in his office" was not quoted.)
Meanwhile during 1991
On Friday, 15th November, all the Death Eaters that had been arrested within the past week, including Peter Pettigrew, were not put on trial, because they had died screaming in their holding cells on 12th November.
During the 15th November Wizengamot session, a new Minister for Magic was elected: Amelia Bones.
Harry and his friends (Hermione, Lavender, Parvati and Neville) acquired a nickname round the school: the Gold Five. In Potions, Hermione and Neville always partnered together (because Neville needed Hermione's help). In Potions, Harry partnered with, alternately, Lavender or Parvati, then Parvati or Lavender partnered with Fay Dunbar. It was Hermione who persuaded the Gold Five to march into Sirius's office and to demand that Neville get a new wand. After Sirius bought Neville a wand out of his own money, Neville's almost-a-Squib reputation vanished immediately.
Speaking of titles, one of the Weasley twins had called Hermione the Ravenclaw In Red, and this title quickly caught on with Gryffindors and Ravenclaws. When Gryffs called Hermione this, the title meant Yes, she is smart, but she is also brave enough to battle a troll. When 'Claws called Hermione "the Ravenclaw In Red," what they meant was Gryffindors all are morons with no impulse control; how can Granger be in that House instead of in our House?
Narcissa Black, in order to get in good with Sirius, began to teach wizard etiquette to Harry and Hermione.
As for Narcissa's son Draco, Sirius delayed adopting him (mainly because of Draco's horrid attitude), so Draco remained Draco No-Name.
Amelia Bones and Harry's godfather Sirius Black were getting serious (pun intended). Once it seemed likely that Susan Bones and Harry Potter would soon become something like step-siblings, Harry and Hermione sometimes ate meals with the Hufflepuff firsties; and Susan, Hannah and Justin sometimes ate at the Gryffindor table.
Hermione told Harry that Justin at the Gryffindor table sometimes sneaked peeks at Lavender Brown when the bubbly blonde would not notice. Meanwhile, Neville was never shy whenever Hannah Abbott was at his table.
Without anyone noticing, the Gold Five became the Gold Eight. Ron Weasley still remained excluded.
One day whilst Sirius, then acting as Potter Regent, was nosing about Harry's trust vault, he found a betrothal contract between Harry Potter and Ginevra Weasley (the Weasley boys' only sister, who was one year younger than Ron). The betrothal contract had been signed by Albus Dumbledore and Molly Weasley in 1981.
Harry, once he was shown the contract, nearly had a heart attack.
Worried Sirius showed the betrothal contract to Ted Tonks.
According to Ted, the contract was worthless, for any number of reasons. For one thing, no betrothal contract could require Harry to marry until he had reached his majority; but when Harry reached his majority, he would become Head of House Potter.
It turns out that only a Head of House—not a regent, not a guardian, only a Head of House—may sign a betrothal contract that obligates a Head of House. Anything else is Line Theft.
Harry breathed a sigh of relief.
During the 1991 Yule break, Harry visited the homes of the rest of the Gold Eight, and they visited with him at Sirius's house. Neville, Susan, Lavender, Parvati and Hannah were starstruck at Hermione's house; whilst Justin Finch-Fletchley glanced about Hermione's house, then started a discussion with Dan Granger about golf.
Christmas Day had one awkward moment for Harry in it: somehow Harry received the gift of a hand-knitted jumper from Ron Weasley's mum. Using Sirius's grumpy house-elf Kreacher, Harry returned the gift, along with a note explaining that Harry and Ron were no longer friends even slightly. Awkward.
On Thursday, 26th December, the day for giving gifts to servants, the DMLE gave a gift to one unwilling servant: Harry Potter. On this date, the DMLE went to Little Whinging and arrested all three Dursleys. The next day (Friday, 27th December), Harry's abusive relatives were put on trial in front of the Wizengamot; Veritaserum was used. The Dursleys' guilt was unquestioned; only their punishment needed to be decided.
At first, the Wizengamot seat-holders debated how long to sentence the Dursleys to Azkaban. Then Sirius Black told the Wizengamot that whilst he personally wanted to execute the Dursleys painfully, by means of a Black-grimoire nasty hex, he knew that sentencing the three Dursleys to Azkaban would kill them (because they were Muggles), which would distress Harry. "So please," Sirius said, "punish the Dursleys a Muggle way—but make it hurt."
The Wizengamot sentenced Vernon and Petunia to life without parole in a Queen's Prison, and eleven-year-old Dudley was sentenced to a school for troubled boys till he was eighteen. Before the Dursleys were taken to their new homes, they each were given a "Don't talk about magic or magicals!" compulsion.
Dudley, up till he arrived at his new school, had seldom been disciplined by adults, and he had never himself been bullied. Within forty-eight hours of Dudley arriving at his new school, he was shown that his privileged life had ended forever.
Also during Yule break, Harry and Sirius (and Hermione) visited Potter Manor, which had been quite damaged by Death Eaters before Harry had been born. Sirius, whilst acting as Potter Regent, contracted with the goblins to repair Potter Manor. As Sirius had visited there many times as a Hogwarts student, he promised Harry to restore the big house to its former glory.
In Potter Manor were four Potter house-elves, who were magically weak when Harry met them. Harry injected some of his magic into each of the four house-elves; as Harry had mage-level magic, this was easy to do.
The first thing that Harry did with his reenergised house-elves was to order them to transport Harry's owl-mail from Hogwarts to two bedrooms in Potter Manor. (Shortly after Sam Houston Kellner had become headmaster of Hogwarts, the head Hogwarts house-elf had told Kellner about an unused classroom that contained nothing but Harry Potter's owl-mail—going all the way back to November 1981.) Soon after the Boy Who Lived fan mail was brought to Potter Manor, the Potter house-elves discovered that included in this ten-year mound of owl-mail was every bank statement that Gringotts had ever sent.
Spring term, 1992
The Potter house-elves had told Harry that in the Potter Library were seven pink diaries written by Lily Evans Potter—one diary for each of Lily's Hogwarts years.
During the Spring term, Harry read his mum's diaries, and let Hermione borrow the diaries to read too.
In Lily's sixth-year diary, Lily mentioned being told by a portrait of snake-draped Akbar Slytherin that she was a Parselmouth. Portrait-Akbar told Lily how to find the secret chamber of Salazar Slytherin.
According to Lily's diary, Lily went down to Slytherin's Chamber, saw all the statues of hood-spread cobras and of Salazar's bearded head, then returned to Myrtle's bathroom after only a few minutes.
Harry searched for the portrait of Akbar Slytherin, because Harry wanted to learn more about his mother. During Harry's conversation with the portrait, Akbar mentioned that Slytherin's Chamber had a basilisk in it, and that a Hogwarts student in the 1940s had known this.
Harry told Headmaster Kellner about the basilisk, and led the headmaster to Akbar Slytherin's portrait.
The next day, Headmaster Kellner had Harry lead a group of Aurors, Unspeakables and DRCMC (Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures) workers to Moaning Myrtle's lavatory, where Harry opened up the tunnel that led into Slytherin's Chamber. At the bottom of this tunnel was a round metal door that only Harry could open; and in Slytherin's Chamber was a bust of a bearded man whose mouth could be opened only by the words of a Parselmouth.
After trial and error, Harry discovered that he could make Bust-Slytherin open his mouth by saying "§Oi, Founder Slytherin, I want to talk to your basilisk.§"
Harry talked to the basilisk, who could look through magical transparent-red eyelids so that people could look in her eyes without dying. Harry named the basilisk §Gazer.§ Somehow Gazer could smell that Harry was the Heir of Slytherin. Soon Gazer told Harry that the previous Heir of Slytherin had ordered her to kill a Muggle-born girl.
When Harry translated this, that Gazer had killed a Hogwarts student fifty years ago, everyone in Slytherin's Chamber got angry, and Harry heard talk of Gazer being put down.
Good luck with that, Harry thought.
Harry told Gazer that the previous Heir of Slytherin was evil and a liar—and was now dead besides. Harry ordered Gazer not to kill any more students, Muggle-born or otherwise, and to return to the mission that Salazar Slytherin had given her: to protect the school against external threats.
The Ministry people soon left Slytherin's Chamber. Harry heard a DRCMC worker complain that he hadn't earnt his pay today. An Auror pointed out that everyone had seen a basilisk today but nobody had died, which he thought was a win.
The next day, Harry escorted the rest of the Gold Eight—plus Slytherins Zabini, Greengrass, Davis and Bulstrode—into Slytherin's Chamber. Harry did this after warning the other children an hour ahead of time, "Wear old clothes you don't mind getting filthy."
In Slytherin's Chamber, the children got to meet Gazer, after Harry asked the basilisk to close her "friendly" (transparent-red) eyelids.
The children's responses to seeing the gigantic basilisk differed by House—
The Gryffindor children said, "I wonder what it would take to fight and to kill a basilisk this big."
The Slytherins said, "Look at that, our Founder made a basilisk!"
The Hufflepuffs said, "The poor thing, I bet she's lonely."
Behind Slytherin's bust, the children found a suite that had green-upholstered furniture, a bed with a green coverlet, a portrait of a cobra that hissed at the children and a bookcase with books on shelves. (Alas for everyone but Harry, the hundred books in the bookcase—even the porno novel—all were written in Parseltext.)
But those hundred books weren't the only Parseltext books the children found. Harry eventually found Slytherin's Library, which had one or two thousand books in it. What Slytherin's Library also had was a thousand years of dust, till Hermione called Dobby to vanish the dust. Dobby vanished the dust, then hugged Hermione's legs for giving him the "gift" of a difficult cleaning task.
Once the dust was gone and the children were free to walk about Slytherin's Library, Harry discovered a book, §Read This First§, in the middle of the biggest table in the library. Meanwhile, the other children were dismayed to discover that every one of the hundreds of books in the library was in Parseltext.
When Harry found, in §Read This First§, a spell to conjure a blue-covered, English-language translation of a Parseltext book, Hermione was so happy she sang and danced to "Honey, Honey" by Abba. When Harry told Hermione that the translation-book was only conjured, and would disappear after twenty-four hours, Hermione still was happy enough to sing and dance.
Until third year, the four Slytherin invitees refused all invitations to eat at the Gryffindor table with the Gold Eight. But every time Harry and Hermione ate at the Hufflepuff table, the four Slytherin invitees ate there too.
Sunday, 21st June 1992 (the Summer Solstice)
Minister for Magic Amelia Bones and Lord Sirius Black married in the Ministry atrium.
Harry and Susan participated in the wedding in the ways expected; the other six members of the Gold Eight attended as guests. Nymphadora Tonks, one of the bridesmaids, had hair that exactly matched her bridesmaid robes.
The rest of summer, 1992
Muggle-dressed Lavender and Parvati visited the Granger house by traveling on the Knight Bus. Once those two were at the Granger house, the three young witches had dinner (Muggle-cooked) with the Grangers, then the trio held a slumber party.
At the slumber party, the three witches showed each other their reports (report cards). Hermione had been given Outstandings in all first-year subjects, both magical and nonmagical. Neither Lavender nor Parvati looked surprised.
Lavender and Parvati both had been given Acceptables in the four nonmagical subjects (English Composition, Maths, General Science and British History). Those two girls looked nervous at Hermione's reaction, but she smiled and Hermy-hugged them both. (Truthfully, Hermione had expected her wizard-raised friends to do no better than Acceptable in any nonmagical subject.)
In magical subjects, Lavender had earned mostly Exceeds, with one Acceptable and one Outstanding; whilst Parvati had been awarded two Outstandings and the rest were EEs.
Hermione's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Your marks are ... good, you two."
Lavender laughed. "Yeah, I shocked Mum and Dad. Listen, I boarded the firstie train planning to earn only Acceptables, because this would keep the parents from bothering me, but I planned to spend the rest of my time at Hogwarts having fun. But once I became friends with you, Hermione, I felt ashamed every time I got an Acceptable on an essay. I'm not smart like you or Padma or Parvati, but this year I tried like blazes to score high marks."
Parvati said, "Same here. I tried harder this year because of you being my friend, Hermione. Yesterday Padma made a joke that soon the only way people will be able to tell her and me apart will be by our clothes."
Of course Hermione then gave both her friends Hermy-hugs.
The next morning, Emma Granger drove the three girls to Harrods.
In Harrods, Justin Finch-Fletchley and his mother Estelle bumped into Hermione, Lavender and Parvati. (How did this happen? Hermione might have accidentally telephoned Justin the day before, and might have accidentally informed him that she, Parvati and Lavender would be in Harrods the following day.) In Harrods, whilst the witches bought Muggle teen-girl clothes, Lavender and Justin flirted.
Estelle Finch-Fletchley turned out to be a fount of knowledge about Muggle women's fashions. She taught the three young girls quite a bit, and even Emma admitted to learning things.
The following Saturday, Harry and Sirius hosted Potter Manor's first party in over a decade. Invited were Harry's yearmates (with one notable exception), plus the Weasley twins.
The Weasley twins, before they would be allowed to attend the party, had to each swear an oath on his magic that he would not prank anyone at the party, nor would he pull any time-delay pranks whose effects would not appear until after the party. The twins, who had noticed by now that they never were invited to parties, probably because of partygoers' fear of the twins' pranks, willingly gave the oaths.
One yearmate of Harry's was not invited to the party: Ron Weasley. Nobody (including his twin brothers) said they missed him.
Draco No-Name was on his best behaviour at the party—mainly because his mother and Sirius had told him that if he did not embarrass himself or his mother, Sirius would adopt him as a Black after Harry's party.
Pansy Parkinson behaved at the party because she was terrified of offending Harry.
The Slytherins at the party did not know what to think. Had Harry invited his maybe-future-enemies to his party because he was Gryffindor chivalrous, or because he was Slytherin cunning?
Sometime during the party, Lavender said, "I can't believe the twins are behaving themselves."
Parvati said haughtily, "Excuse me? Padma and I behave ourselves always. Or were you referring to the ginger-haired twins? Remember, this party has more than one set of twins attending it."
Weeks later
Tuesday, 1st September 1992
The first day of Harry's second year
In the Great Hall, Hogwarts
Pomona Sprout, the deputy headmistress, looked down at the list. Then she called out, "Lovegood, Luna."
A waif with long, white-blond hair, grey eyes and a dreamy smile walked to the stool, then gracefully sat down on the stool. Lovegood folded her hands in her lap as Sprout placed the Hat on the girl's head; Lovegood looked unworried.
Lavender murmured to the rest of the brand-new second-years at the Gryffindor table—
"See that girl who is being Sorted now? She has floating purple flames burning over her head—two purple flames. Not only is she a Seer like Trelawney and me, she's more of a Seer than Trelawney and me. Merlin, this girl has Aunt Placida beat too."
"Professor Trelawney," Hermione corrected.
"Better be Ravenclaw!" the Hat yelled.
Lavender murmured, "It wouldn't surprise me if she speaks a prophecy before she sits her NEWTs."
As Lovegood walked towards the first-years end of the Ravenclaw table, she turned her head towards the Gryffindor second-years and gave Lavender a dreamy smile.
After the Sorting was complete, sitting at the first-years end of the Gryffindor table were many new faces—and one returned student: Ron Weasley.
During the Welcoming Feast, whilst Ron was stuffing his face, he was glaring at Hermione.
Not sitting at the Gryffindor table was firstie Ginevra Weasley—she had been Sorted into Slytherin.
The next day, Molly Weasley sent a Howler to Headmaster Kellner (for "allowing the mis-Sort of Ginny Weasley to happen"), and sent a Howler to Slytherin firstie Ginny Weasley (for "disgracing the family"). Kellner reported Molly Weasley to Wizard Child Services, who fined Mrs Weasley an amount that the Weasley family probably could not afford to pay.
Later that month
Saturday, 19th September 1992
Hermione's thirteenth birthday
In the Gryffindor common room on 2nd September, Harry had stacked up five books of different sizes, then he had laid on the stack a sixth book, which had been open in the middle. Harry then had paid five galleons to Dean Thomas to draw the six books.
Harry had written a few things on Dean's drawing, then had handed the drawing to Sirius Black, Harry's godfather and the Head of Gryffindor House. Harry had given Sirius spoken instructions about what he wanted; the instructions had ended with "...Make sure that every knut to pay for this comes out of my trust vault. You pay for nothing, understand?"
Now on Hermione's birthday, Harry handed Hermione a small, flat box. In the box was a pin that showed the six books. The book-cover parts of the stacked books, and the edges of the book cover for the open book, were represented by something bright-red and shiny. The pages-parts of the six books were represented by gold. At the bottom of the pin, in shiny bright red on a gold background, were the letters "RIR." On the back of the pin were runes that would make the pin stick to clothing when the runes were activated.
Hermione hugged Harry fiercely, and she cried happy tears. From that day forwards, Hermione always wore the "RIR" pin with whatever outfit she was wearing, whether Hogwarts robes or Muggle clothes.
Not quite two years later: Thursday, 1st September 1994
The first day of Harry's fourth year
Again in the Great Hall
It was nothing new that Hermione was joyous to be back at Hogwarts. What was new was how she showed her joy.
Before Hermione sat down on the Gryffindor bench, which was before this year's firsties were led in, she briefly kissed Harry on the lips.
"Yes!" Lavender yelled. "Oi, Fred, George, they kissed! They kissed! Who wins?"
Harry looked at Lavender in total confusion. " 'Who wins' what? And what does Hermione and me kissing have to do with anyone winning anything?"
Hermione said, "Look over there. Fred and George pulled a little book out of their robes, and now they're flipping through it like it has instructions for making a philosopher's stone."
After the firsties had been sorted, Weasley Twin 1 stood up and said, "May I have your attention, please? The 'When will The Boy Who Killed The Dark Lord kiss in public, The Ravenclaw In Red?' pool has been decided. The winner is Daphne Greengrass"—the Slytherins applauded—"and the prize is more than three hundred galleons—"
"Yes!" Greengrass exclaimed.
"—which we will pay out tomorrow at breakfast, when we know the exact amount. Now we'd like to thank Harry Potter and Hermione Granger, for giving us one more interesting thing to bet on."
Hermione was blushing red when she stood up, but she also was smirking. "Technically, Harry didn't kiss me, I kissed him. Will this mess up your pool?"
On the other side of the Great Hall, Daphne Greengrass laughingly yelled, "Shut up, Granger!"
At breakfast the next morning, Daphne Greengrass was handed a sack of coins that contained, according to the Weasley twins, three hundred thirty-seven galleons. In answer to a question, the twins stated that this particular pool had been started in November 1991, only days after Potter's and Granger's adventure with the troll.
One year and two months later
Saturday, 4th November 1995
Redheaded Gryffindor fourth-year student Ron Weasley tried to love-potion fifth-year Gryffindor prefect Hermione. Redheaded Slytherin fourth-year student Ginny Weasley tried to love-potion fifth-year Gryffindor prefect Harry.
Hermione's enchanted necklace detected the potion in her goblet; Harry's Heir Potter ring detected the potion in his goblet.
Ginny was arrested; Ron was not. (It was against the law to love-potion a Head of House, even an underage one; but it was not against the law to love-potion a Muggle-born.)
Both Ron and Ginny were expelled, and their wands were snapped. But by then, Harry had beat the crap out of Ron, both magically and with his fists.
Maybe Molly Weasley sent a Howler to Harry then; but Headmaster Kellner's wards incinerated Howlers before any child heard them.
Lavender and Parvati stood up at the Gryffindor table and clapped when Headmaster Kellner announced that Ron (and Ginny) had been expelled. Seeing this, many fourth-year Slytherins stood up and clapped.
Being expelled was inconvenient for Ron. Not only did he get yelled-at by his mother when he returned to the Burrow, but expulsion ended his broom-cupboard meetings with Romilda Vane.
Ginny was sent to Azkaban for five years, in the medium-security wing. After her release, nobody wanted to marry her, and the Holyfield Harpies ignored her public hints that she wanted to play for them.
About one year later
Friday, 8th November 1996
Azkaban Prison
Albus Percival Dumbledore, having served all of his five-year sentence, was released from prison.