Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from the Inuyasha universe. The rest is mine.

Chapter 10

She'd been back for two weeks now, and had slowly settled into a routine of sorts. Inuyasha would show up around five in the morning, and stay until about ten. When she heard his family's sedan start up, she would put a pin in answering emails and placing phone calls and working on the next blog post to go downstairs and help out at the ranch.

No two days were really the same. Her tasks would vary between gardening in their "small" vegetable garden and taking care of the animals. Inuyasha seemed to be doing the majority of the "heavy lifting", keeping the fence around their property in good shape being his current project.

Still...despite intentionally trying to avoid him, she would be up at 4:30, stumbling down into the kitchen by 4:45 to have a pot of coffee ready for when he arrived fifteen minutes later. He had said he liked her coffee, and he was doing so much for them...It was the least she could do.

Then, earlier that week, she needed to do a piece on muffins. Four different recipes for blueberry muffins, comparing the process to each other, tips and tricks, and end results...It was a pain, and she ended up baking more than they could ever hope to eat. Rather than freeze them, she just put a bunch into a container and labeled it for him.

There was a symphony chocolate bar waiting for her the next day when she came downstairs.

She had thought it had been from her mother...But it wasn't. She almost cried when she saw it. He still remembered after all these years that her favorite chocolate wasn't the traditional Hershey's...but their milk chocolate symphony bar.

As kids, they used to use them for s'mores in the summer, huddled together around the fire pit roasting marshmallows with her family as they told stories. Not even scary stories, though there were a fair number of those too. They just told stories they made up on the spot, sometimes making games out of it. Her favorite was the one where each person added on a few more words, each person helping to create a weird, hysterical story, unique in its absurdness and never again repeated.

When fall first began tinting the tips of the leaves with reds and yellows and oranges, they would gather around the fire pit with blankets and cups of warm cider. She used to love snuggling up with her father as a child, sharing her blanket with him...and then when she got older, she kicked Souta out from Inuyasha's as she began to feel herself developing a crush for him.

Not that Inuyasha complained, mind you. He was just as happy to boot Souta off to her grandfather and upgrade to her. She vividly remembered him taking her hand under the blanket for the first time, his small claws scraping against her skin as he nervously locked their fingers together. His cheeks were dusted red as he avoided looking at her, in case she would reject him. She hadn't though…She had just moved a little closer to him, silently reassuring him that she liked it.

Sure they had held hands before, but that was a different kind of hand holding, and they both knew it.

"Kagome?" her mother greeted uncertainly as she entered the kitchen, her feet shuffling along the wooden floors. "I thought you'd be back in bed."

"I'm adjusting to the new schedule," she shrugged, pushing the brew button on the coffee maker.

"I see…" her mother smiled softly, heading to the refrigerator and opening the door. "Can I make you some breakfast since you're up? I'm thinking of cooking eggs again...We have a surplus right now."

"No...That's alright Mama," she declined. She wasn't going to risk running into Inuyasha, and breakfast meant that she absolutely would be. "Maybe I'll get assigned an egg salad article next," she joked lightly, trying to change the subject as her mother began pulling ingredients from the fridge. Living Simply, a branch of Gorgeous Gardens, was a home and gardening magazine with a branch in California. She had managed to get an internship while there in college, and somehow snag a full time position upon graduation. She did enjoy working for them, but she would be lying if she said she didn't question if it was worth it.

"Oh my...I don't think I could survive four different kinds of egg salad."

"We'd be lucky if it were only four," she joked lightly, and her mother groaned.

"Well...I suppose we could send some home with Inuyasha. He seemed to enjoy those muffins you made him."

"Gave him."

"Gave him," her mother amended, a small smile tugging at her lips. "He already returned the container. I don't think they lasted three days."

"Well, I'm glad he liked them so much," she replied dismissively.

"Me too...we'd be drowning in them if it weren't for him."

They'd be drowning in more ways than one if it weren't for him.

She watched her mother pause in front of the window, looking out at the lightening sky.

"It looks like it should be a new moon tonight," she commented casually.

"I hadn't noticed," she lied.

Partially lied.

She had absently noticed a few days ago that the moon was waning...but she had been so busy she had forgotten about it.

Her mother shot her a knowing look, but didn't comment otherwise about it. They both knew why tonight was significant. It was the night Inuyasha became human. She had spent just about every new moon with him since the day he shared his big secret with her.

They were nine at the time, and he had asked their parents if she could sleep over. They were still children, so they had no issues at the time agreeing to it. When dinner was over and they were in their pajamas, Inuyasha grabbed her arm and led her outside, telling her he had a secret to share.

She was practically vibrating with excitement, bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet as the sun slowly set. She guessed any number of things, becoming increasingly more frustrated as he told her to just wait.

Finally, as the last rays of sunlight disappeared behind the mountains and the sky was dark blue, she watched him change. His shoulder length, silver hair became midnight as his claws and ears disappeared. His beautiful golden eyes darkened to a brilliant taupe. She remembered taking his face between her hands and examining him closer, completely fascinated by what had happened.

She had heard of the "night of weakness" for half demons, but she had never seen it happen herself. Because he was only a half demon, he became human once a month. On the night of the new moon. It was still a highly guarded secret amongst the half demon community, the same as it had been hundreds of years ago. She couldn't blame them, given the fact that many still harbored deep seeded hatred towards them.

She had seen it first hand when the Takahashis had first moved here.

People had warmed to them over time, sure.

But back when he had shown her his greatest, most guarded secret…

That's when she knew that their bond ran deeper than best friends.

"Kagome?" her mother prodded gently, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Are you alright Sweetheart?"

Only then did she realize that she had been leaning against the kitchen counter with her arms crossed over her chest for a few minutes in complete silence.

"Yeah! Yeah...Sorry, Mama...I guess just got lost in my thoughts for a second."

"Anything you'd care to share?" she asked, popping two slices of bread into the toaster.

"No...I'm just...tired," she replied dismissively, and her mother shot her a knowing smile as a pair of headlights flashed in through the kitchen window.

Shit.

She had stayed down here far longer than she intended to.

"Are you sure you don't want to sit down for a few minutes with us?" her mother pressed, laying a hand on her shoulder as the sound of a car door shutting echoed in the distance.

"I shouldn't. He doesn't want to see me."

"But you want to see him," she pressed gently.

"I…"

Did she?

It hadn't gone well last time...but...she couldn't seem to stop thinking about him this trip. Maybe it was because he was being forced back into her life? Maybe it was something else. Maybe...maybe it was because deep down on the inside, even though they kept saying goodbye, she wasn't really ready to say goodbye...Not again...

"I don't know, Mama," she finally admitted, smoothing her hair away from her face. "I just know that I shouldn't be here right now."

"Why not? This is your home too you know. You can be here if you want to be."

"I know but...I need to finish editing a blog post."

Her mother didn't push...But Kagome knew she wanted to, if the way she pressed her lips together into a thin line was any indication of her thoughts.

Kagome quickly slipped out the kitchen and made her way up the stairs, her bare feet slapping against each step in her haste. She paused halfway when she heard the front door off to the right creak open. She felt her heart begin to pound in her chest, anxiousness settling into the pit of her stomach. Somehow, she managed to make herself move, running up the rest of the stairs. She knelt down into a crouch at the top, next to the table pushed against the banister with a glass vase and a bouquet of silk flowers.

She peered through the wooden dowels as Inuyasha walked through the entry. He raised his arms above his head, stretching, before lowering one to absently scratch at his back. The hem of his shirt rose, revealing a thin strip of his toned, tan abdomen. He looked...exhausted. His ears were droopy, and his eyes didn't have their typical sparkle to them.

He must be running himself ragged between helping them and also his father.

She felt guilt wash over herself as he made his way into the kitchen, warmly greeting her mother. She leaned to the left, watching the door slowly close behind himself. The smell of bacon frying wafted out as the door opened and closed, and the overwhelming urge to go down there and be with him clawed its way out from her chest and up her throat.

She hadn't realized how much she missed him.

The old him.

The way they were.

Before she had taken a pillow to them and smothered the life out of their relationship.

She silently shook her head and tried to push the ache back down and lock it away again. Tears began to well up in her eyes, blurring her vision. No. She wasn't going to cry. He could smell them a mile away, figuratively speaking, of course. What was the point of all of this if he knew she was here?

Besides - she had an article to write, and this...this was crazy. The way she was acting. She was all but spying on him in her own home. Maybe she needed to sleep more than she needed to get this article done.

Yes - that's what she needed to do. Go get some more sleep. Kagome nodded to herself, satisfied with her decision, and stood back up, completely unaware that her shoulder was now directly aligned with the edge of the table. As she rose, her shoulder roughly knocked into the table, jarring it. The immediate sound of glass shattering and of wood clattering made her blood run cold, and she slowly turned around, rubbing her shoulder as fear ran up her spine.

Oh fuck.

Oh...fuck!

Fuck!

When she stood up, bumping into the table broke the goddamn vase.

God damnit!

There was no way they didn't hear that, but she still squatted down, trying to pick up the broken fragments of glass before they came to check on her. Her fingers were shaking as she began picking up the shards, trying to somehow clean up this whole mess before he arrived.

Her heart was racing, pounding in her throat as she tried to work quickly, but it was hard to see. The tears had come back with a vengeance and it was all she could do to keep them contained and pick up the glass. The sound of the kitchen door abruptly opening startled her despite knowing that it was only a matter of time, making a large piece slice into her finger and palm.

"Fuck," she hissed, wincing as her blood began to coat the shards she held.

"Hello?" she heard Inuyasha call before inhaling deeply, and she knew in that moment that she was screwed. That's when the tears finally began to slip down her cheeks. Heavy footsteps pounded up the stairs as he ran up them, probably two at time, pausing at the landing to take in the scene...and she was sure she made quite the scene.

"Kagome," he breathed, dropping to his knees and opening her palm. "What happened?" he murmured, plucking the shards out from her palm as she heard a second pair of footsteps run up the stairs. Her mother, undoubtedly.

"I…" she began, her chin trembling as her mother reached them.

"Oh, Kagome," she gasped, looking at the blood.

"I'll get her cleaned up," Inuyasha soothed, turning to look at her mother over his shoulder. "She's not wearing any shoes," he explained, and her mother nodded. "Come here," he softly addressed her, his words warm and caring and it hurt.

She allowed him to gently sweep her into his arms, pulling her to his chest as he stood and made his way to the bathroom. She felt him doing his best to avoid stepping on the shards, his steps awkward and uneven as he moved.

"Y-you ca-can put me d-down," she stuttered as he pushed open the bathroom door.

He made a sound of agreement, but didn't comply until he had turned on the lights and closed the door. He gently sat her on the edge of the sink, nudging her legs apart to stand between them.

Was that intentional?

Probably not.

He raised her hand, examining the cut on her palm and finger. Blood seeped from the wound as tears continued to pour down her cheeks. She hadn't realized she had cut herself so deeply. God, she felt like such a moron. What was wrong with her? Why did she have to...Why was she acting like this?

"I need to wash your hand," he decided, his tone soft and caring and pulling her out of her thoughts as he turned the water on hot. He stuck a claw tipped finger under the stream, testing it. She couldn't help but wonder if he was doing that to avoid making eye contact with her, or because he really didn't want her to burn her hand. She supposed it didn't really matter.

When he was satisfied, he brought her hand under the stream and apologized when she hissed after he pumped out soap from the dispenser, gently massaging it over the wound. The suds turned pink with her blood and she bit the inside of her lip at the sight. Satisfied with his job, he brought it back under the stream, continuing to keep his eyes on his task instead of looking at her.

He didn't even glance at her. Not once.

It made her feel like shit.

He'd take care of her like this because she was wounded, but he didn't want to acknowledge her existence otherwise.

She wanted to vomit, but she was still too busy crying.

"What happened," he asked softly, turning the sink off and examining the cuts. "Shit...you're still bleeding," he murmured, bringing her hand to his mouth, popping a finger in.

She stared at him in surprise when she felt his tongue caressing her digit, swirling around it and pressing against the cut. Her breath hitched in her throat at the sensations. The sound seemed to snap him out of whatever thoughts were running through his head. His eyes widened as it occurred to him that perhaps he shouldn't be sucking on her finger - laving it lovingly with his tongue.

It felt so intimate.

Personal.

He lowered his eyes and his ears, but he didn't stop. Perhaps because he had already committed. Perhaps for another reason.

Perhaps it didn't fucking matter.

After a moment, he pulled her finger back out of his mouth with a wet sounding pop. Her hand glistened in the light from water and his saliva, and she watched him examine the wound on her finger.

"You didn't answer me," he noted, his eyes still on her wounds.

"D-didn't think y-you really w-wanted m-me to," she hiccuped as he pulled her finger back between his lips. He didn't reply, but he did shoot her a knowing look, cupping her cheek. He gently stroked the skin under her eye, rubbing away the wet streaks her tears had left behind as his tongue began to work on her finger again. "I just...j-just bumped in-into the t-table. Nothin-ing more ex-citing th-than that."

He hummed a sound of acknowledgement, the vibrations shot straight through her and made her bite her lip at the sensation. It felt good. And not in a good way.

Well.

Yes.

In a good way. A very good way. But she didn't want to feel that good right now. She didn't want to be left feeling tingly and warm and wanting to kiss him. Take comfort in him.

She wasn't allowed that luxury anymore.

He pulled her finger back out again, and this time he was pleased with his work. Or at least she assumed he was since he didn't suck on it again. Instead he moved to her palm and began licking it.

"What were ya doing up?" he tenderly asked between passes of his tongue.

"Couldn't sleep," she replied, her voice stronger - no longer quivering from crying.

He paused, his nostrils flared, and he looked at her in confusion.

Ass knew she was lying.

"I came down to make you coffee," she confessed begrudgingly, shifting her eyes to the side. "You said you like my coffee, so I've been coming down and making it every morning."

She felt him stop again, but she couldn't bring herself to look at him. She was so...so tired of the way things were with them. Tired of walking on eggshells. Tired of feeling like they would fight at any second. Tired of not being able to talk to him like she used to. Tired of not being able to find comfort with him.

"I...I thought it was different. Better. Figured ya mighta shown your mom how ya do it."

There was something about the tone of his voice that made her glance back at him. His eyes were molten. Burning. Filled with so much heat she was startled. What on earth was going through his mind?

"No...It's been me. It's the only way I could thank you. Since we're…" she trailed off, unable to finish the thought aloud. Since we're avoiding each other. Since we're pretending we don't exist.

"...Thank you," he murmured, resuming his work on her palm before pausing and adding, "And...thank you for the muffins. They were good."

"You're welcome. I...I'm glad you liked them," she whispered. "Thank you for the chocolate bar. You didn't have to."

"Wanted to," he shrugged, pulling away from her palm and examining it. "Here...all better."

She looked at her hand and smiled sadly at it when he let go. The cuts were gone...but so was his touch.

"Thanks," she whispered.

"You're welcome," he smiled wanly. "You have good timing. If you did it much later in the day, I might not have been able to help."

"Because of the new moon?"

His brows rose in surprise and she tried to not feel offended.

"You remember?"

"Of course I remember - we used to spend every new moon together. Up until...college. There isn't a new moon that goes by that I don't think of you."

"You...You think of me?"

"How could I not?" she replied, a wry smile on her lips. "Do you remember the night you told me?"

"Like it was yesterday," he chuckled. "I was so nervous…I didn't know what you were going to think or say or do…"

"Make you bare your teeth and open your mouth because I couldn't believe you were really human?"

"You certainly did that," he grinned, taking her hand and rubbing her knuckles with his thumb, and she felt the flutter of butterfly wings in her stomach at his touch. "And you stayed up with me all night because I can never sleep on my human nights. I feel uncomfortable in my own skin. Like nothing is right...but you made me feel better, and I did appreciate that."

"It was my pleasure," she replied cupping his cheek, and she felt him tilt his head ever so slightly into her palm. "Do...Do you still stay up all night?"

"I don't think I could sleep even if I wanted to. Why - wanting to keep me company Higurashi?"

She knew he was joking...but in that moment, she knew that was all she wanted to do, and it must have shown on her face.

"Kagome…"

"I know! I know...Don't worry. I know you don't want to see me," she reassured him, looking off to the side. She didn't want to be here right now. She didn't want to hear him tell her to stay away...even if that was all she had done for the last seven years. Even if that's what she deserved.

Now that she was back and he was here...It was so hard to stay away.

"But you...you want to see me?" His tone was confused. Perhaps even...hopeful?

She looked back at him and his golden eyes were so soft. She wanted to fall into them. Pull him into her arms. Bury her face into his neck.

"I want what you want," she replied carefully, her words slow and measured.

His face hardened again, and his tongue kissed his teeth.

"Got it," he bit out, pulling away from her. "Don't worry about me then. Easy enough, right?"

"Inuyasha—"

"—It's ok, Kagome. Really. I'm not gonna ask ya ta do something ya clearly don't wanna do. I'm gonna help your mom clean up the glass before I start work."

He spun around on his heel and she reached out to grab his arm before she could stop herself. She couldn't let them end like this. She couldn't do this anymore.

"I do want to see you, Inuyasha. I...I miss you," she confessed, her voice wavering as her eyes began to prickle with tears again. "I've missed us so badly. I hate this. I hate what we've turned into. I...I—"

He turned around, gently pulling her into his chest as she lost the capability of speech and began sobbing into his shirt. A low, soothing rumbling vibrated out from his chest, and she felt herself trying to pull him that much closer.

"I hate this too," he admitted, running his fingers through her hair. "I've wanted to see you for seven years...but...God, I wish we could fix this…"

She said nothing, nuzzling further into him as he continued to soothe her. She greedily accepted his comfort, fisting his shirt into her white knuckled hands. It felt so good to be held by him again. She felt like she belonged here - wrapped up in his arms. She never wanted to let go of him again.

"Maybe we can," she braved, finally pushing away from him. "Maybe we already took the first step - by admitting we're unhappy and we don't like this."

"Maybe," he sighed, running his fingers through his bangs as she reluctantly released him, allowing her arms to drop down to her sides. "The real question is, do ya wanna fix it?"

"What kind of question is that?"

"A fair one, Kagome," he replied wryly. "After things ended...I waited for you for four years, hoping you'd come back to me. When your mom finally told me that you started working at that magazine…" he shook his head, looking away from her. "What do you honestly want, Kagome? You. Not what ya think I want. What do you want?"

"I want…" she began, a lump forming in her throat. "I want to spend tonight with you, like we used to. That's what I want."

He raised a hand, cupping her cheek and gently caressing it, rubbing away another tear that escaped the corner of her eye.

"Then I'll see you tonight."

A/N:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CLEARWILLOW, YOU POETIC, NOBLE LAND-MERMAID! WE LOVE YOU!

One Last Ride, from this moment forward, will no longer be updated on Tumblr! You will only find AMAs, sneak peaks, and additional fan art not drawn by Clearwillow there!