Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from the Inuyasha universe. The rest is mine.

Chapter 16

Kagome looked at herself in the mirror, putting her hair up - then taking it down - before putting it back up again. She was being crazy - she knew it. It wasn't a big deal. Wasn't like this was a date. This was just her showing Inuyasha how to cook dinner for his…

...His…

Well, for Kikyo.

She didn't need to look fancy or nice or special. Hell, she could do this in flannel pajamas and it wouldn't matter. He wasn't dating her. Anymore, at least.

Kagome sighed and took her hair down again, leaving the hair tie on her wrist as she heard the front door open and her mother greet Inuyasha. Her hands found a tube of lip gloss, and before she could think or stop herself, she was applying it.

Why?

Why was she doing this?

She slammed the tube back down onto her desk in frustration, picking up a tissue to wipe it off again. Kagome pinched her eyes shut and rubbed her temples, moaning. She was driving herself crazy, and he was here. There was no point in doing any of this. She knew this. It wasn't like they were dating or were ever going to be ever again.

She was just showing him how to cook one meal for Kikyo.

Because she was his friend.

Kagome shook her head and exited her room, bounding down the stairs to greet the silver haired man.

"You look like you had a hell of a day," Kagome commented as he gave her a one armed hug, the other arm holding a large bag of groceries. He was wearing a worn, soft, blue Henley t-shirt and jeans, and the stubble had reappeared all over the lower half of his face...as well as bags under each of his eyes. He was working himself too hard again, wasn't he? Trying to juggle too many things...

"Spent the day cutting the wood for the bedroom," he shrugged. "I showered before I came…"

"What a shame," she teased. "Nothing I love more than a big old sweaty man covered in sawdust."

"Ah...well...Guess I missed my opportunity then, huh?"

She rolled her eyes and led him to the kitchen.

"I'll say - I would have been all over you like flies to shit."

"Oh God," he complained, wrinkling his nose. "That's an image I really didn't need...Wait...Are you calling me shit?"

"...Hot shit?"

He just glared at her, emptying the contents of the grocery bag onto the counter. Chicken, garlic, almonds, walnuts, pears, brussel sprouts, fingerling potatoes, heavy whipping cream, and a few roasting pans…

"Nice try, Kagome," he replied, shaking his head. "This everything we need? I checked the list twice before I left the store. Didn't wanna forget anything."

"Mmm...Nope! This looks like it," she confirmed, moving to the fridge to take out a few last things they would need. The objective was to prepare everything now so he could just pop it into the oven that night. It was a sound plan. In her opinion at least. Kagome instructed Inuyasha to pull out a knife while she grabbed a cutting board, then picked up a shallot.

"Do you know how to cut one of these?" she asked, and he shot her a look that said no, but how hard could it be.

"Peel it first, and then dice it. We're sautéing it with rosemary and garlic and almonds."

"I thought ya said this was supposed to be easy," he teased, making quick work of the dry, brown skin covering the purple flesh of the vegetable.

"It is," she smirked, raising an eyebrow at him before stopping him as he began to slice the shallot, somewhat predictably, the wrong way. "You have to slice it lengthwise like this," she corrected, moving behind him and taking his hand in hers, guiding his movements.

She tried to ignore the heat of his body. The way he still smelled of him and his old spice deodorant. The way his back felt firmer than she had ever remembered it feeling before. The way she wanted him to turn around and hold her in his arms...Kiss her hair…

She sharply bit the inside of her lip, snapping her thoughts out of things that could never be - should never be - and back to the task at hand. She moved Inuyasha's hand with her own, slicing the shallot vertically towards the dried roots at the base before horizontally.

"If you do it this way," she explained, "when you cut it horizontally, everything is already diced for you."

"It's a neat trick," he muttered, his voice somewhat strained. His hand was slack, allowing her to show him how to do it. "Thanks."

"Yeah," she nodded, and her cheek brushed against his arm. She jerkily pulled away from him at the unexpected contact. "Why don't you try doing it on your own? You don't need me back seat cutting," she tried to tease, picking up the head of garlic. She distracted herself from the ache in her chest by popping out a few cloves and peeling them before directing him to mince them.

"Any special tricks with this one?" he grinned cheekily - almost flirtatiously.

"Nope," she replied, rapidly shaking her head. "Nothing fancy about this. You just need to ninja it's ass."

He snorted at her. "Ninja it's ass?"

"Don't mock me, sir, or I'll let you figure out how to impress your woman all on your own," she countered, raising her brow. She meant it jokingly, but...her tone didn't quite hit the mark, and they could both hear it.

"You really don't hafta, ya know…" he mumbled, his words soft and his tone quiet.

"I know...I'm sorry...It's just...Can we take a second to acknowledge that it's a little weird?"

"Only a little," he smirked, yet the snarkiness of his tone was belied by the gentle and deep caring in his eyes.

"Yeah...only a little…"

"I can leave you know," he mumbled. "If this is too weird…"

"No - I want to do this. I promise. You're risked ruining everything with her because of me...This is the least I can do. So. Get back to mincing up that garlic clove, ok?"

He nodded his head, swallowing whatever it was he clearly wanted to say, and followed her instructions. Soon they had the shallots, garlic, and rosemary sautéing in a pan with a generous pad of butter.

"Mmmm," she moaned as the fragrance began to fill her mother's small kitchen. "Smell that?"

"Smells great," he grinned, stirring them with a wooden spoon.

"Remember this smell the next time you make this, ok? When it's like this...that's when you know it's time to add in the almonds. When everything becomes nice and fragrant like this. Let me grab them for you - you keep an eye on the stove."

"Sounds good," he nodded, and she thought that maybe she caught his eyes following her as she turned around to grab them. Lingering on her as she bent over the table to grab the bag on the other side of the table.

That was crazy though.

Right?

Right.

She righted herself and pulled her hair up, trying to distract herself from the insane thoughts floating around in her head. Because...they were insane. Kagome opened the coarsely chopped, roasted, salted almonds he had bought and reached around him to pour them into the pan. She hadn't even realized she had placed a hand between his shoulder blades until she noticed him looking at her again.

"Sorry," she mumbled, removing the offending appendage. "Just trying to not spill anything."

He raised a brow, but didn't call her on her pathetic, weak excuse. She didn't know why she had done it, honestly. She really hadn't even thought about it...but now her hand felt like she had placed it onto her mother's stovetop.

"How do I know when they need to come off?"

"It only needs a minute. I'll set up the dredging station while you're finishing this up."

"A whole station?"

"It's a process, but I promise it's easy."

"Uh huh," he smirked. "So...listen," he continued as he stirred the almond mixture in the pan. "I was thinking we could pick out wall colors for the house this week? It's gonna take a spell for the lights and tiles to come in."

"Yeah, sure," she agreed, pouring some flour into a shallow bowl. "Do you have anything in mind?"

He snorted, and she knew the answer to that without needing to press.

"Ok...How about we browse pinterest sometime this week? We don't need to go anywhere fancy for paint."

"Ya sure?" he smirked, bringing the pan off the heat as she instructed and poured everything into another bowl.

"Pretty sure," she replied, bumping her hip into his. "I'd say paint is paint, but that's not true. And it all matters...but it's not like buying lights or tiles. We can get good paint anywhere."

"If ya say so." A smile tugged at the corners of his lips, and she told him to take the chicken out of it's packaging as she cracked an egg into the last dish. She walked him through cleaning the chicken breasts before teaching him how to use a dredging station.

He was a natural.

Then again...this wasn't hard. Or at least she didn't think it was hard. He seemed to think he was doing something amazing and spectacular...The look on his face...It pulled at her heart strings. It was pure joy and pride, and she loved seeing him like that. Seeing that excitement on his face.

She swallowed hard, and showed him how to lightly grease a roasting pan with butter, instructing him to place the chicken breasts into it when he was done.

"You're doing great," she reassured as he placed the first one in the bottom.

"Making ya proud?"

"Very. I'll go turn on the oven for the pears - you can handle this?" The pears were the only thing she had asked him to get extra of, because she loved them so much. Fancy and sophisticated yet so easy.

"It's just dipping shit, Kagome. I think I can dip shit."

She giggled and shook her head, turning on her mother's oven. From there, it was just showing him how to clean, season, and prepare to roast the veggies at the same time...and it wasn't hard.

"This is all really impressive, Kagome. Thanks."

"Happy to help," she replied for the umpteenth time. It was beginning to feel like a catch phrase. 'Happy to help, Inuyasha...I want to help, Inuyasha…'. Even if it were true, she was beginning to feel a bit like a broken record. Well. Mostly true.

Helping him with the pears was easy. It was just a cutting and sprinkle job...but the whipped cream was a bit more intensive.

"Ya know what I'm not looking forward to," he commented off handedly as he began making the whipped cream as she had instructed him. She was sitting in a chair across from him, watching his every movement in rapt attention.

"Mmmm...Eating it?" she teased, and he rolled his eyes.

"That's the part I'm looking forward to."

"Ok...I'll bite then. What aren't you looking forward to?"

"Clean up," he smirked, reaching into the bowl coating his finger in whipped cream and swiping it down over her nose.

"Inuyasha," she squealed. "Why did you do that?"

"'Cause I wanted ta," he shrugged, his eyes sparkling with laughter as a fang mischievously poked out the corner of his mouth.

She narrowed her eyes at him, standing up from her seat and diving across the table, reaching for the bowl of whipped cream. She was too slow against him though, and he snatched it away before she could properly retaliate, leaving her almost face down across the table.

"Whooo boy, just what were ya trying ta do with that, Higurashi?"

"You know damn well what I was gonna do with that," she glared back, her eyes narrowing at his mirth.

"Huh...You weren't...thinking about smearing me with whipped cream, now were ya?"

"Whatever gave you that idea…"

"Just a hunch," he smirked, dipping his finger back into the bowl as she righted herself. "Here, try," he requested, holding his finger to her lips, and she felt herself hesitate. All that did was make him roll his eyes and smear it across her lips.

She squeaked in surprise before her tongue sneaked past her lips, pulling the whipped cream into her mouth.

It was good. Really good.

But it hurt. Having him act like this with her...Having him look at her like this...Smoldering and hot...she felt herself burning alive under his gaze as he watched her little pink tongue. She wondered what he was thinking when he saw it. Wondered what was going on in that mysterious head of his. She felt his hand cup her cheek, his thumb gently caressing her cheek bone as his eyes flitted from her nose back to hers.

"How did I do?" he asked, his voice suddenly rougher and thicker than it had been before. It was heavy - filled with unspoken desires that she was afraid to examine.

"It was good."

"Just good?"

"Could use some more vanilla," she swallowed, and she watched his lip curl up at the corners before his face smoothed again and he dipped his head down, his tongue lapping up the cream on the bridge of her nose.

She felt her whole body flush, and a nearly irresistible desire to kiss him clawed at her heart. It was begging her to touch him. Taste him...but she couldn't. God, what was wrong with her? They weren't...This wasn't…

God dammit Kagome!

She gave up her right to hold him, and kiss him and love him years ago! She knew that! It shouldn't matter that all afternoon it had felt like none of that had ever happened! It shouldn't matter that he could make it so easy to pretend that he was hers again!

That she had never left. That she hadn't given him up, and they were cooking for them.

That her life could be like this. That she could be wrapped in his arms, holding him tightly...that she could still have the love of her life...

His tongue ran across her nose again, clearing away the rest of the whipped cream before his teeth nipped at the very tip of her nose.

"Tastes good to me…" he murmured. "I can add more though."

He pulled away from her, leaving her stunned and raising a shaky hand up to her nose.

"I-Inuyasha," she breathed watching him add another teaspoon of vanilla to the whipped cream.

"Yeah?" he replied, not looking up as he turned on the mixer.

"I…" She stood stalk still, staring at him. Wanting to know why he had done it. Why he was acting so flirtatious with her...but she couldn't make the words leave her lips. It was like her throat had restricted so much the words were stuck in it, and she was left gasping for air, trying to find some semblance of reason.

"Yeah?" he prodded again, this time meeting her gaze head on. His eyes were curious - his brow arched. She wanted to reach into that bowl and smear whipped cream all over his face. Lick whipped cream off of him. His face. His chest.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom - will you be ok without me?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine," he reassured, turning his attention back to the whipped cream. "You don't need to check with me if you need to pee. You should just pee."

She rolled her eyes and left, thankful for his crassness for once. It was helping her shake herself out of...whatever was going on with her.

Kagome quickly closed the door to the bathroom and closed the lid on the toilet, sitting down on it as she buried her face in her hands. She needed to get a grip on herself.

Yeah.

This wasn't how she would behave with her friends back in California. Guys, girls...there was an underlying intimacy behind Inuyasha's actions, and while she was desperately trying to not read into it, she was failing.

She could feel her body reacting to him...Feel herself wanting things she couldn't have anymore...Even if she didn't want to be. She could still feel the heat of his hands on her skin. The slick of his tongue against her nose. The slide of his finger against her lips…

She squeezed her eyes shut, forcing herself to put the thoughts behind her. She needed to think about something else.

Like the fact that the whole reason he was here, in her kitchen, was to cook his...his...whatever dinner because Kikyo had sent him nudes, and then he had canceled on her.

...Because she had been crying and Inuyasha felt she needed him more than Kikyo did.

No.

Stop it.

Come on...Thinking like that is only going to hurt more in the long run.

They're friends. They're finding their way back to friendship. Because that's what they are.

Wanting him was just…

Oh God…

She…

Did she…

No.

That was…

No.

She didn't want him. Couldn't want him.

They were friends. Nothing more. Wanting him made no sense. Wanting what they once had made no sense. Wishing that she could have him again...That they could fix themselves so he would be hers again...That made no sense. She couldn't - wouldn't feel that way about him. Because they were friends, and that was it.

She felt her mind beginning to engage itself in cyclical arguments, and she groaned, leaning her head back onto her shoulders.

Maybe she just needed to accept that this is what friendship looked like for them.

Inuyasha was right when he had said that they weren't just friends. Or that they hadn't been since they were kids...because it was true. Almost as soon as puberty hit, they were dating, and hadn't stopped until she pulled the plug at 18.

So what did friendship as adults even look like for them?

Maybe...Maybe this was it.

She nodded her head and flushed the toilet, lifting the lid back up and washing her hands.

This is what friendship looked like for them. That was what she needed to remind herself now when she found herself unexpectedly in his arms next. When he decided to smear whipped cream across her face.

This is what she had wanted, wasn't it?

She had wanted him back in her life - had missed their relationship and his friendship…

So this is just what that meant. And she needed to stop letting the little voice in the back of her head tell her it was anything more than that...Because she had given up her right to love him years ago.

When she entered the kitchen, Inuyasha surprised her, shoving a walnut and honey pear topped with the whipped cream, in her face...As if she hadn't just talked herself off of an emotional ledge.

"Here, try," he demanded as she felt herself going cross eyed to look at it.

"This…"

"The pears were done when you came out," he explained. "They smell good too, but I wanna know how I did. Open up."

"Because you—MM!"

Inuyasha took the opportunity to use her reply to literally shove the baked pear into her mouth, forcing her to try it.

And it was good. He was good at this.

"How is it?" he pressed, his voice hopeful as his eyes scanned her face.

"Hawt," she mumbled - the word barely intelligible. "Welly welly hawt."

"I guess I should wait then?"

"You didn't even try it yet?!"

"I wanted you to go first in case I messed up - Hey! That hurt!" he yelped as she smacked his pectoral.

"Good because I nearly burned my mouth for you!"

"...But it was worth it, right?"

"Ass."

"...That doesn't sound like a no…"

She rolled her eyes and took the plate he was holding, piping hot pear still on it.

"Hey! Go get your own," he whined and she glared at him, turning out of the way as he reached for it, trying to reclaim the captive pear.

"I did," she replied, squealing when he tried to snatch her pear from her again. He brought her flush against his chest, and she tried wriggling out of his arms, but it was useless. They were like boa constrictors, keeping her firmly in place.

"Just give it back to me Kagome," he whined, reaching for the plate again, and she managed to move it just out of his grasp.

"No!" she replied, trying to ignore the way her heart was racing. The happiness she could feel exploding in her chest. The joy she could feel from this stupid game of keep away.

"Yes!" he shot back, holding her that much tighter. "I wanna try some!"

"Then take a different one out from the pan!"

"But this one is cooler," he reasoned, almost snatching the pear away from her.

"Well you made me eat this one, so it's mine now!"

"We were gonna share it!"

"It's a little late for that, buddy!"

"Yeah? Says who, Kags?"

Kags.

It was like he had dropped a bucket of ice water onto them. Kags. He hadn't called her that in years…

His arms were gone from her in seconds, but she didn't move...and neither did he. It was like they were both paralyzed now, unable to wrap their minds around what had just happened, and yet…

Kags.

She could still hear it clear as day. Could still hear the way it bounced off the walls around them and filtered into her ear drum. It was the sweetest sound in the world...Yet…

"I thought we weren't using those names anymore," she whispered, if you could even call it that. If it weren't for his excellent hearing, she wasn't sure he would have even heard it. She hardly registered saying it.

Kags.

"I," he coughed thickly, moving away from her. "We're not. Sorry. I guess it just…"

"Slipped?" she supplied, turning and looking at him. A bright red blush stained his cheeks, and he was looking at anything but her. She wished she knew what he was thinking. What was going on in that crazy head of his.

"Yeah," he mumbled, running his fingers through his hair. "I get it now. How easy it is to slip up. Sorry, Kagome…"

"What's there to be sorry about? It's your damn rule," she chuckled bitterly.

"For a reason…" he tailed off, and she thought he was going to say more, but he must have changed his mind.

It hurt so much. Why did it hurt so much? She got it now. Why he didn't like her calling him Yash. It was like it was a reminder of better times. A reminder of what they were...and could have been...Fuck if it didn't feel like her heart had just been stabbed. It was just another fucking reminder that they could never be what they were ever again.

As if she hadn't had enough fucking reminders of what she had lost today.

"Why don't we clean all of this up, hmm?" she prompted, beginning to wrap up the food for him for tonight. "I'll message you cook times and temperatures later, ok?"

She needed to keep busy - keep her hands moving and her focus somewhere else. Needed to remind herself who all of this food was actually for, because it wasn't her. He wasn't trying this hard for her.

"Kagome," he began, attempting to get her attention, but she couldn't let herself listen.

"All of the hard work is done. The pear was great, by the way," she absently commented, closing the lid on the raw, seasoned potatoes and brussel sprouts.

"Kagome," he tried again, but she kept going, lowering all of the containers into the bags he brought with him.

"Pick up some white wine before you go over. Maybe a pinot grigio."

"Kagome, please—"

"—And flowers. Don't forget the flowers," she nodded, handing him the bag of uncooked food.

"Can we just—"

"—I think she'll like it, Inuyasha," she smiled brightly, but she could feel how false it was...and she was sure he knew too.

He looked down at the bags, as if he were unsure what to do, and she moved them closer to him. It was as if she were silently telling him, "Here. Go on. Take them and leave." She glanced up at his face, and his ears were so low they almost disappeared into his hair. She pressed the bags into his chest, shifting her gaze away from him and this time he silently took the bags.

"I'll see you around, Kagome," he whispered quietly, leaving her alone in the kitchen, and she listened for the front door to open and close with rapt attention. When she heard his car start up outside...That's when she allowed herself to crumple in on herself, falling to the floor crying.

What was she doing?

Dear God...What was she doing?

A/N: I fucking LOVE the next chapter.

Like.

We don't even underSTAND how much I love 17. It's just...

HNNNNGGGGGG!

And BECAUSE I love it so much...I want to play a game with you.

Right now this story is set to update with that chapter on 10/13. If you get this up to 160 reviews by 10/9...

I'll update early. THAT'S HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS CHAPTER.

The challenge has been issued...

Let's see if it happens.

MUAHAHAHAHA!

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Until next time...whenever that is!

-LL