Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from the Inuyasha universe. The rest is mine.

Chapter 22

"It will be fun," Kikyo cooed into the phone as he absently fiddled with the ties to his sweatpants.

She was trying to convince him to go to ladies' night at the Rusty Bucket with her, and he was feeling a little torn. He was exhausted. He'd finally finished up the flooring in his bedroom, and had worked both his family's ranch as well as the Higurashi's. He had just gotten out of a shower and changed when she called.

He had groaned when he had seen her name cross his phone screen because he was just...exhausted…

He couldn't ignore her though.

He was still trying to convince himself that he could make this relationship work, and going would help with that. 'Sides. If he stayed home, he had a mini vacation to plan. He was driving himself crazy trying to work on this "weekend getaway" anyway. He didn't know how to plan something like that for her, but he needed to at least try. Kikyo was right...with how he had been behaving…

She needed something, and if it wasn't going to be a title, then he needed to do something else for her. So…

He picked this.

And this was...a lot more work than he was anticipating…

...And the thought of working on it was making him need a drink anyway.

"Ok," he agreed, trying not to sigh. "Can I met ya there in like...an hour?"

"An hour will be perfect!" she beamed on the other side of the phone. "It's going to be so much fun, Inuyasha! They're doing a mechanical bull riding contest tonight, and I've been itching to give it another go since last time!"

Mechanical bull, huh?

Should at least provide some entertainment…

"Sounds good - I'll see ya there, Kikyo."

"See you there, Inuyasha…" she murmured seductively into the phone before they hung up, and it fell listlessly to the bed from his loose grip. His back dropped back into his pillow as he covered his hands with his face.

Fuck…

He really didn't feel like going…

But he really, really needed to…

Fuck!

The music was loud and the mechanical bull was already in use when Inuyasha finally entered the Rusty Bucket a little over an hour later. He hoped that Kikyo wouldn't ream him for being late. He had just taken a little bit of personal alone time to play around with his phone after they had hung up.

It weren't porn though!

He was still dealing with the body oil jokes from Pops and Sessh. He didn't need to remind them that he liked to fiddle with his diddle from time to time too. They had just forgotten about his alone time in the shower…

When he walked through the door, he immediately started searching for Kikyo and found that she had snagged a table for two near the mechanical bull. He wove his way through the crowded bar as best he could, his ears folding down as men whooped and hollered at the woman currently on the bull. She wasn't doing half bad, but he had seen better.

Sure enough, a few seconds later, she was thrown off. She was fine though and got up and bowed to everyone before wobbly exiting the padded enclosure the mechanical bull was in.

"Inuyasha!" Kikyo waved when she spotted him, and he waved back as he continued to slowly edge closer to her. She had two beers on the table and had worn a green and blue plaid flannel that she had tied under her breasts, exposing the expanse of her abdomen. She had paired it with a pair of rather short shorts, and some cowboy boots.

"Hey," he greeted with - what he hoped was - a warm smile as he kissed her cheek.

"Hey yourself," she replied, pushing the beer closer to him. "I already ordered one for you."

"Taking advantage of ladies' night pricing?" he teased, his lips quirking up into a smirk.

"Might as well," she grinned back cheekily.

"I won't stop ya," he replied, taking a sip. "Sorry I was a bit late. Lost track of time at home."

"It's fine," she shrugged dismissively. "I'm just glad you're here now. We can have a fun night together."

"Yeah…" he agreed, trying to not let it show that he still didn't want to be here. He'd rather be at home in bed...But…

He decided not to think about it and took another swig from his beer as the door opened again. He didn't know why he heard it over the rumble of the music...the whir of the gears in the bull...the cheering of the people around him...But he did. Clear as day.

And then, he could smell her.

His back stiffened, and he hoped Kikyo didn't notice. He glanced at her, and she seemed to be preoccupied watching the next girl try and take on the bull. Sarah Oakland. They had gone to school with her too. She had blond hair and blue eyes and eyes that never stopped smiling. She was doing pretty well on the bull, and the men there were certainly enjoying the show.

He wasn't paying attention to her though.

He was focused on Kagome...And Sango...And Miroku...And how they were apparently coming over to them to talk.

Fuck.

"Inuyasha! Hey!" Miroku greeted, waving his arms wildly in the air as they approached. "I didn't know you two were going to be coming out tonight!"

What could he say to that? He wasn't, but he had his arm twisted into being here tonight?

"I couldn't say no when this little lady asked me," he replied truthfully instead, wrapping an arm around her shoulders as Sango and Kagome made it over to their table. "Hey," he greeted smally, trying to not keep his eyes on Kagome for too long. She wore an outfit similar to Kikyo's, only her shirt was red...And it made his heart speed up a little in his chest.

He wanted to play with the ties of her shirt and loosen them. Slide his hands up the expanse of her abdomen and feel her skin under his palms…

He tore his eyes away from her and back to Kikyo after they had greeted him in kind.

"I'm going to take Kagome to sign up for the bull, but can we join you when you get back?"

"...Sure," Kikyo replied hesitantly, and Inuyasha furrowed his brow at her. They were technically on a date right now, spur of the moment as it may have been. He was surprised she had said yes, and even more surprised Sango had asked. Miroku too, if his expression was anything to go off of. "Why don't I go with you?" Kikyo continued, trying to not act slightly rattled. "I've been meaning to sign up."

"Great!" Sango nodded, allowing Kikyo to lead the way as she dragged Kagome behind her. Miroku grabbed an extra chair for their table, and sat down next to him, eyeing his friend carefully.

"Can I help ya?" Inuyasha asked, slightly irritated with him.

Miroku was silent for a moment, his lips pressed into a thin line before he said, "Sure. You free this weekend or next? I need help loading another truck."

"Yeah," he nodded, taking another swig of his beer. "Just tell me the details and I'll be there."

"Thanks...You're a good friend...I'm almost wondering how good of a friend you really are…" he mused, waving back to Sango when she waved to him and then pointed to the bar. They spoke in hand signals for a moment as his girlfriend worked out that her boyfriend did, in fact, want for her to also get him a beer.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Sesshomaru sent me an...interesting photo…" he explained, shooting him a concerned look.

"Fucking hell…"

Of course he did.

"Do you maybe want to explain how that happened?"

"No," he snorted, drinking his beer. "None of your business."

"Ok," Miroku nodded, resting his arms behind his neck as his lips pressed into a thin line. "I just don't want to see you getting hurt again, Inuyasha…"

"Listen...I can handle myself just fine, alright? We're friends and that's it. Something you should know something about. You two came with her tonight, didn't ya?"

"Sango came with her. I came with Sango."

"Oh hell...This is gonna be one of those nights, ain't it?"

"I don't know what you mean."

"Yes, ya do. We survived middle school tagether. You're my friend. You're trying to bro before hoe. Miroku, Kagome and I kissed and made up and we're moving on. Don't ostracize her."

"I'm just worried about you," Miroku explained, trying to pacify his rising temper. "You don't remember what you were like after you two split, but I do. And that photo is...concerning."

"You don't have anything ta worry about. I promise. I'm with Kikyo."

"...Are you?"

"...Yes…"

"Then why have you hardly been able to keep your eyes off of Kagome since we came over here?"

Inuyasha choked a little on his beer as he took a sip from it.

"I...Yes I have!"

"Really?"

Inuyasha pointedly turned his head to look his friend in the eyes and tell him rather seriously, "Yeah. I have. Doing it right now, ain't I?"

Miroku's eyes searched his face before he relaxed back in his chair.

"Ok. You think she won't be a problem, she won't be a problem. I love you like a brother. I don't want to see you hurt again."

"I know," he sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "You too…"

"So...How is it going with her? Kikyo, I mean."

Inuyasha raised a brow at him and shrugged.

"It's...going…"

"Are you...happy?"

Inuyasha snorted, crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned back in his chair.

"Honestly? I don't know what we are...but...If I don't ask her to stick around soon, I don't know if there's going to be much of an 'us' for much longer."

"Do you want there to be an 'us' for you two?"

He rolled his eyes.

"What's my alternative?"

Miroku gave him a sympathetic look.

"If...you aren't happy…"

"I'm making it work."

"But if you aren't. You should do what does make you happy. Whatever that is. Don't settle. There are other women out there too. Kikyo isn't your last chance at anything. You know that, right? That you aren't stuck with her?"

"Yeah…" he nodded. "I know," he reassured his friend as the women started making their way back over to them, and he switched the conversation over to talk about the beer Miroku needed help with as they sat down. The next hour passed amicably enough, with everyone exchanging idle conversation...and as he tried to avoid looking at Kagome as best as he could.

It was hard, though.

God, she was beautiful. Sexy as hell. And that smile...Fuck. She was lighting up the whole damn room with that smile as she talked to Sango…

He just wanted to take her away from here and go back to their spot and have her smile like that at him all night long. Laugh with her about the stupid little things. Kiss her gently. Hold her tightly.

He...He had it bad for her again, didn't he?

His conversation with Miroku echoed through his mind as Sango left to ride the bull, but he couldn't pay attention to her. Not when he was still thinking about what Miroku had said.

Was he happy with Kikyo? Did he ever really see himself being happy with her? They had been doing whatever this was for a while now. Shouldn't he know?

...Or...was the real problem that he did know...and he was just too scared to do anything about it?

The thought made his heart sink...but…

"Hey, not bad!" Kagome praised as Sango got back to the table, sipping from her beer and fanning herself off.

"I'll say...but you're up next Kagome," she grinned, and Kagome stood, flashing them all a brilliant smile.

"Wish me luck?"

They all did...except him, and she bit her lip, glancing down at the floor before meeting his eyes again.

"Yash?"

"Yash?" Kikyo interrupted, turning to look at him, and he swallowed.

"Yeah. Yash. That's my name."

"And since when did she start calling you that again," she pressed, and Kagome's gaze turned a little fiery.

"And that matters why?" she replied, as the announcer called her name again. "He's my friend, Kikyo…"

"And he's my boyfriend!"

"...Is he?" she replied, and he could see the regret on her face as soon as the words slipped past her lips. "I-I'm sorry. I need to go."

She was right though.

He wasn't.

And...he wasn't sure he wanted to be.

He wanted to go after her, but his place was here right now. Just for the next few minutes...and he could feel the anger radiating off of Kikyo in waves.

"Why didn't you say something to her," Kikyo hissed, looking at him with a deep rage burning in her eyes. "You didn't correct her."

"Because we are friends," he replied as Kagome got onto the mechanical bull.

"That's not what I'm talking about, and you know it…"

"Perhaps...this is a conversation best left for another time?" Sango tried, and Kikyo shot her a withering look - but it did the trick. Kikyo bit her lip and said nothing more as the bull began rotating with Kagome on its seat. She was rusty at this - he supposed she didn't have a lot of practice in California.

She seemed to be having a relatively good time, however. A wide smile was plastered across her face, little shrieks spilling from her lips as the bull suddenly jerked left or right, or on occasion, stopped altogether. Her eyes were sparkling in delight, and he found himself completely captivated by her.

She looked up from the bull and into the crowd, and his heart jumped a little when it looked like she might be looking for someone. And then...she found him. Their eyes locked, and he felt all the air leave his lungs. She didn't even know the power she held over him in that moment. Her hair wild, her eyes bright...her smile radiant…

The bull jerked to the left, and she fell off of it. He expected her to get up right away...make a little move of victory or sadness that she had been thrown off...maybe even shrug...but she didn't.

Was she hurt?

Oh fuck.

She was hurt wasn't she!

He got up from his seat, ignoring Kikyo's reaching hands, and made his way to the edge of the ring, gripping it. His heart was thundering in his chest as a thousand different injuries played out in his mind. Broken leg. Broken arm. Sprains, fractures...He felt sick.

"Kagome?" he called out, and she didn't say or do anything, but her body was trembling.

Shit.

Fuck!

This weren't good.

"Kagome," he tried again, gripping the siding a little harder than before...and relaxing it when she rolled onto her back, her chest vibrating with laughter.

"Hey," she giggled, sitting up and biting her lip as she ran her fingers through her hair.

"Hey," he sighed, shoving his hands nervously into his pockets. "You scared me Kags…"

"Sorry," she smiled sheepishly as she stood, allowing him to help her out of the ring and he carefully examined her. "Yash, I'm fine," she replied, her smile dimming as Kikyo came over to them.

"Kikyo," Kagome began, her tone apologetic, "Listen...I'm so sorry I shouldn't ha—"

"—Save it," she replied, coming to stand between her and Inuyasha. "It's my turn, and I plan on showing everyone here how a real woman rides a bull."

Kagome was stunned silent, and could only nod as Kikyo mounted the mechanical bull.

"Kagome, are you—"

"—We should get back to the table," she murmured, turning away from him and heading back towards their friends.

"Y-yeah," he mumbled, following after her as Kikyo began to ride it. He wasn't paying attention, but from what he could gather, the men there were rather pleased with her show. There were a lot of catcalls and wolf-whistling...and it should have bothered him, but he was too entranced by the sway of Kagome's hips to notice.

"You're sure you're ok," he pressed as they sat down.

"Yes," she smiled reassuringly at him, both ignoring the looks their friends gave them. "It was fun...it's been a while since I did that last."

"Well...if you wanna come back again soon to have another go at it...I'd come with ya."

"Really?"

"'Course. It's fine, and you looked like you were having a blast."

"I was," she smiled brightly at him, and he swore his heart skipped a beat.

"Ok. Later this week then?"

"Maybe?"

"Maybe?"

She bit her lip and glanced back at the bull.

Oh.

"Ah…" he trailed off, and she picked up her beer.

"It...doesn't...feel right. I don't want to get you in more trouble. I didn't...what I said earlier—"

"—Don't worry about it, Kags. You're right. I'm not her boyfriend…" he reassured her, picking up his bottle and fiddling with the label. He glanced back up at the bull, watching as Kikyo's body moved in tandem with her mount. Her movements were smooth. Fluid. Erotic. He felt absolutely nothing for her...and the realization was reaffirming.

"And...I'm not so sure I wanna be," he murmured, surprising Miroku.

"Inuyasha?" his friend pressed, trying to encourage him to say more, but he couldn't. Kikyo was thrown from the bull at that moment, and he took that as his cue.

He had just enough beer in his system to muster up the courage to do something about this, and he needed to. Now.

He made his way back over to Kikyo, and she wrapped her arms around his neck. She was all bubbly laughter and smiles as she pulled him down for a kiss, trying to coax him into responding to her, but he was so surprised that he didn't.

Couldn't?

Wouldn't.

"Come with me," she breathed against his lips when she broke from him, and he nodded. Yeah. Good. They needed to get out of there.

"Good idea," he agreed, and her smile widened before she shot a smug look in Kagome's direction, leading him back towards the entrance of the bar.

He sighed in relief as they exited, and he unflattened his ears for the first time in about an hour. Fuck it felt good.

"Kiky—MM!" he began, turning to her only to be pressed back against the brick exterior wall of the Rusty Bucket. Her lips were on his in seconds as she took his hand and placed it under her thigh, keeping it in place when she tried to wrap it slightly around his waist. One of her hands had slipped up under the hem of his shirt and was tracing the lines of his abdomen as she pulled at his lips with hers.

It should have been hot.

Should have set his blood on fire.

All he could think though...instead of how incredibly sexy she was...how arousing the situation was...Was that he needed to find a way to get her off of him so he could end things with her.

Inuyasha pulled his lips away from her, tilting his head up, which only prompted her to suckle his neck.

"K-Kikyo...wait...please…"

"What is it?" she asked, the hand under his shirt switching courses and charting a path south of the border. He yelped in surprise when her fingers almost grazed against his cock and he took her shoulders, physically moving her away from him, a look of horror on his face.

"K-Kikyo!"

"I'm so tired of waiting Inuyasha," she explained, her eyes pleading. "Please? Let's get out of here. Let's go back to my place and just—"

"—Kikyo, I can't date you anymore."

It was like dropping an atomic bomb.

"You...What?" she whispered, stunned. It was like she couldn't believe what she was hearing, and frankly, he couldn't believe he was doing it. Right here. Right now.

"I-I'm so sorry Kikyo...I just…"

She pulled away from him, her face shell shocked. He couldn't blame her.

"I'm an asshole," he agreed before she could say anything. "I've been telling you that I wanted this. I told you again and again and...I did. When I said it, I meant it...but...I think I realized tonight that...I just...can't."

Kikyo's face remained blank as she seemed to process what was going on, and then...all at once...it clicked.

"It's Kagome, isn't it?" she breathed, her eyes searching his face, and he couldn't lie to her.

"I'm not ending it so I can be with her...but...in a way? Yeah. It is."

"What does that even mean?" she demanded, her eyes beginning to gloss over with tears.

"It means that...I...I was reminded of why I asked her to marry me when we were kids. It's 'cause everything comes natural to us. It was comfortable. There was none of this…" he paused, trying to find the words and failing. "It was just easier with her. We were friends before we were...more. So being with her just felt like being with my best friend...who I could kiss and touch…"

"And you don't think we will ever have that," she surmised.

"I don't think so," he breathed out reluctantly, his words coming out in a whoosh of air. "Kikyo, you're great—"

"—Stop. Don't feed me the 'you're great but' or the 'it's not you, it's me' lines."

"Kikyo…" he tried, raising his hand to reach for her, but she pulled away and his fingers curled in on themselves. He slowly lowered his hand as his ears folded back. "I really did think I'd feel something for you, one day."

"Did you," she laughed bitterly, wiping at her cheeks.

"I wouldn't have led you on like this if I didn't think we could be more serious…"

"Tell me something then, Inuyasha."

"Of course," he nodded as she chewed her lip.

"If she had never come back, do you think we could have made it? Or if I had asked you out sooner...Do you think we would be together?"

He felt like all of the air was knocked from his lungs. My God...what kind of question was that? And how did he even begin to answer it?

"I...I don't know, Kikyo."

"That's not an answer."

He chewed the inside of his cheek, glancing up at the moon above, and he was reminded of how he had stargazed with Kagome at their old spot not too long ago.

"I don't think so," he breathed out, not taking his eyes off of the moon before a moment. When he finally met Kikyo's gaze again, he knew that he was destroying her. "I think...I think it's always been Kagome, Kikyo. Ever since she kissed me when we were kids...She was my whole world for ten years. Seven years can't change a lifetime, together."

"Of course not," she laughed bitterly.

"I never meant to hurt you Kikyo - you have to understand that. Please…"

She just shook her head, the tears continuing to stream down her face.

"I really thought I had a chance this time," she mused, covering her mouth with her hand and closing her eyes. "I liked you so damn much Inuyasha...I shouldn't have ignored the warning signs...I should have known better...but I just wanted you so damn much…"

"Kikyo…"

She shook her head and pulled further away from him when he took a step towards her.

"I hope you and Kagome are happy together."

"I...I don't know if she...If we…"

Kikyo laughed bitterly at him.

"Then you're a fucking fool, Inuyasha. You're leaving me for her, and you're seriously not going to try anything with her?"

"She's leaving for LA…"

"And since when has that stopped anyone?"

He stood there shell shocked as her words slowly sunk in and she shook her head, coming back to him to cup his face between both of her hands. She stood up on the balls of her feet to plant one last chaste, lingering kiss on his lips.

"Goodbye, Inuyasha. I hope for your sake, you stop being confused about what you want. And soon, before you lose everyone."

She disappeared then, leaving him alone and standing limply outside of the Rusty Bucket. It took him a moment to gather himself back up and make his way back to his friends, and he noticed that the girls were missing. When he did, Miroku, shot him a questioning look, telling him that they were in the bathroom, and he nodded his acknowledgment of the statement.

"You good?" Miroku pressed, and Inuyasha sighed.

"I broke up with Kikyo."

Miroku opened his mouth to say something, but the women stepped out of the bathroom at that moment, and Inuyasha shook his head.

"You were right. I deserve to be happy...and Kikyo weren't it."

He watched as Kagome smoothed a strand of hair behind her ear, smiling brightly at Sango.

"Someone else is."

A/N: HAPPY HOLIDAYS GUYS! This is your holiday present - a chapter VERY early! Or right on time? Hard to say anymore given the month that things went wonky...

EITHER WAY, I hope you all have a wonderful holiday, and I hope that this chapter was worth the wait!

Only a few more now until Inu and Kag give up and say I GIVE UP. I can't fight it anymore. I want to give us another try.

As always...You can read chapters early elsewhere - just check out my tumblr (lemonlushff) for details!

A MASSIVE thank you to everyone who reviewed this last chapter...YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME!

Shout out to: cahicks1997, kcmeyla, Guest, shayeh923, ryan inukag, Reesexxoo, Alita Reinhart, Momo Neko Hitsugaya, Closet lover, Bwby Angwl, Wozwife, LayLay lives, Lin McClain, Lola1991, LucyDEU, DarkRyder7, zizi08, and HammyJessa!

Until next time!

-LL