Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from the Inuyasha universe or any of the popular name brand apps, products, services, etc. The rest is mine.
Chapter 25
Moving the herd was the last thing Kagome wanted to do today. She just...This was the first time she had done this since her father had passed. Her mother and Souta had gone out with Inuyasha all the other times this trip home, and before now...Well...They used to have a bit of a crew, so she just wasn't needed.
Today, she wasn't so lucky.
Today was the day she moved the herd for the first time in seven years.
When she was a kid, it had been a big deal the first time she had done it. It was like her father finally trusted her with this great, big, enormous responsibility. He trusted her to be a part of the team. To listen and watch and act. To follow his lead but also pay attention to the needs of the herd.
It was the day she knew she had his trust, which had meant the world to her.
If she closed her eyes, she could almost hear the deep timbre of his voice telling her what to do and when. She could almost see the blue of his baseball cap bouncing as he road through the field. If she closed her eyes...She could almost feel his arms wrapping around her shoulders, telling her how proud he was of her.
But that was impossible. All of it.
Because he was gone and he wasn't coming back, and thinking those things...It was stupid.
Especially since she was still dealing with everything from yesterday.
She gave herself a mental shake and tried to refocus on the world around her. Kagome squinted up at the sky as she followed Inuyasha on Spirit, her buckskin stallion. She had been obsessed with the movie as a child, and when they had gotten him...well...With that tawny body and ashen stockings, there hadn't even been a question in her mind what she wanted to name him.
Spirit.
He had the right fucking temporment for it too when he was younger. They hadn't known it at the time though...But sometimes, if she were being honest, she almost wished they had turned him into a gelding. He would have been easier to manage. But it was a little late for that, and when Bessie was around he seemed content to allow her to lead.
If he were a human, she would have called him an ass man.
She internally snorted at herself, keeping an eye on the sky. It looked like it was going to rain, which they had known before, of course…
That was one of the many reasons why they had gone into town. Because they anticipated rain. But they hadn't expected the sky to look like it was on the verge of pouring all day, which meant that they might not even move to begin with.
Still, she was grateful that they were trying anyway. She needed the distraction so she wouldn't keep reliving that fight in the liquor store with Kikyo, even if it was this. She was still shaking from it. She just…
"You keeping up ok?" Inuyasha called, turning around to look at her.
He looked so good today.
He was wearing a plain white, fitted, henley t-shirt with jeans and boots. His hair had been pulled into a bun at the base of his neck, under the wide brim of his grandfather's cowboy hat...and he hadn't shaved. She didn't know what it was, but...She meant it. She liked him both ways. All rough and rugged and "manly" and also all nice and smooth and clean shaven.
He was the most attractive man she had ever met - but then again...
Inuyasha would never be unattractive to her.
And watching him in front of her...seeing the way his upper body twisted so he could look back at her...watching the way his shirt bunched and his dark brow raised in concern...Looking at the way his whole silhouette was perfectly framed by the darkening sky and the cattle around in the distance ahead…
She wanted to remember this moment forever. The beauty of the man before her.
Even if he was driving her fucking crazy and she had no idea why the hell he was imploding his life!
They hadn't spoken about it yet. She had been quiet all morning so far, and she knew that was part of the reason why he was checking in on her. Not just because Spirit could be difficult, but also because she hadn't been her normal chipper self.
She had been reserved and quiet. Hadn't tried to strike up a conversation like she normally would, content to just listen to Souta and Inuyasha talk. Probably because she just…
She didn't get it. What Kikyo said had to have been a lie.
It had to. Because if Inuyasha broke up with Kikyo to be with her…
It would be wonderful and amazing and he would have to be crazy.
She wanted him. God, she hadn't realized just how much she still wanted him...And frankly, she wasn't sure if she had ever stopped. But...She didn't know how they could work. He had made it clear before - his life was here. Her life was back in LA. Where did long distance really leave them?
That's right.
It didn't.
Because ultimately, someone would have to give.
But regardless...If it hadn't been a lie…
It would mean that she hadn't been crazy the day before. He really had been checking her out. Had been making slightly suggestive comments under his breath. Had been teasing her and flirting with her...touching her knee or her back or her shoulders because…
...Because he was interested.
He wanted her.
And that idea made her head spin.
She had closed the door on the idea of "them" years ago. She had moved past it as best she could. Found other boyfriends...had a taste of life without him…
She wondered what tasting life with him would be like now as adults.
How much sweeter it could be with him by her side.
But she couldn't.
And she couldn't let him ruin his life. He had been so sure about Kikyo. Had wanted to give them a chance so badly…
She needed to know what the hell had changed, and if she had really been the cause of their break up.
"Yeah," she called back. "We're doing ok back here."
"Ya sure? Wouldn't kill ya ta ride beside me."
"I told you - Spirit won't do it. He likes the view too much."
"Shoulda made him a gelding," he smirked.
"Shoulda made you a gelding," she countered, and he paled a little at the thought.
"Nah. That's ok. I need mine still."
"Do you now…"
His back straightened and he blinked at the chill in her voice.
"Fuck Kags...Something crawl up your ass?"
Yeah. His ex.
She was fucking with her brain. Making her question everything.
Making her question if Kikyo was telling her the truth and Inuyasha was hiding this big, huge thing that had happened to him…
...Or if Kikyo was fucking with her because she could. Because Inuyasha did break up with her, and Kikyo wanted to blame someone. So she picked her.
The ex.
His best friend.
The woman spending days and nights with him.
The woman who…
…Who had kissed him.
She never should have done that. She never should have given into temptation. It just…
It had felt so right in the moment. The two of them. In their spot. In each other's arms...Their bodies pressed together…
She lost control. She gave in. And now he and Kikyo were done.
So yeah. Something had crawled up her ass because between Kikyo and thinking about her dad...Well...Today was just going to be a hell of a day.
"No," she lied, watching as his brow furrowed. "Everything is fine."
"Kagome...I…" he sighed and shook his head, deciding against whatever he was going to say, and shot Souta a concerned look.
"What's that look for?"
"N-nothing!" he brother replied, holding his hand up in silent surrender. "Just wanna get there before it starts raining, if we can. I still feel like this mighta been pointless. They aren't going to budge."
"You don't know that," Inuyasha sighed, adjusting his grip on Bessie's reins.
"Don't we?" he countered, raising his brow at Inuyasha. "They're just going to be laying there, refusing to move."
"Well...They are, we can say we tried. And then we can turn around 'n' go back and try again after our camping trip. 'Sides. Gotta treat that calf for pink eye before it gets bad. "
"Are you guys looking forward to your trip?"
Three days alone with a newly single Inuyasha. It was a dream come true and an utter nightmare.
Well.
Nearly three days.
That sounded a bit better.
Less time alone together meant less time to possibly get into trouble.
"Yeah, I think it will be fun. Just forget about everything for a few days...Kagome was right. I think I could use that right now."
What else was she right about, she wondered.
"Kags?"
"Yeah - it will be fun."
"Wow, talk about enthusiasm," her brother replied dryly, and she rolled her eyes.
"I'm sorry that wasn't enthusiastic enough for you."
Inuyasha glanced back at her in clear concern before turning to Souta and telling him to go on ahead.
"See if you can get them standing, if ya can."
"I'd have a better chance at getting Rachel Cooper to go out with me," Souta mumbled under his breath, and Inuyasha grinned cheekily at him.
"Won't know 'till ya try. Off with ya Squirt."
"When are you gonna stop calling me that," he sighed, making Inuyasha laugh.
"When you're taller."
"That's what you always say."
"That's 'cause I'll do it when you're taller. Off with ya," he encouraged, and Souta took off leaving the two of them alone.
Which was just what Inuyasha wanted.
And the three of them knew it.
"Kags—"
"—I promise I'm fine," she hastily reassured before he could even ask.
"Ya ain't. It's bullshit and we know it. Come on...out with it," he tried again, his voice as soft as his eyes. "You can tell me. You know you can."
She couldn't. Not this time...and her silence only made him more uneasy.
"Is it...Your dad?"
She was surprised he would even think of that...But she shouldn't have been.
"I know it's the first time you've done this...since...well…" he trailed off uneasily, slowing Bessie until they were riding side by side. It might have been faster if they had walked, given the pace he set. She supposed he was trying to put more room between them and Souta.
"It is strange," she confessed after a moment, and he reached out to take her hand. "I mean, I know it's not like I expect to see him out there or anything," she continued with a hallow chuckle, "but I do remember the way he could take charge of a situation.
The way he would make sure all of the mothers and calves were paired up before we moved them...and how he would stay behind to make sure we had everyone before joining us as we lead them to the next pasture. I always wanted him to give me that responsibility but…Can you just imagine me trying to wrangle a calf onto Spirit the way you can?"
"With those chicken wings?" he teased with a wink, and it was hard to describe the feeling in her chest when he did it. It was a thousand different things...ranging from a fluttering to utter devastation to annoyance.
"Yeah," she whispered, and she felt his thumb rub her knuckles.
She knew that he was just trying to comfort her. Was trying to give her support and lend an ear and she appreciated it, but it also made her feel guilty.
And angrier and more upset. Which was crazy but…
She was allowed to be confused and angry, ok? This was hard! All of it was hard! And She just...She couldn't fix what had happened with her dad, but she could do something about Inuyasha, and that wasn't nothing. She didn't understand what the hell he was thinking and why he was hiding it from her and she just…
She needed to know why the hell he did it, and why he wasn't telling her. She needed to know what the hell was going on.
She didn't want to cause him more pain. She couldn't hurt him again. Even if she wanted him...And god, did she want him. She wanted to hold him and kiss him and breath in the musk of his old spice. Wanted to hear that soft, soothing voice he used for her and only her. The one that told her she was special and precious and loved and…
...And just thinking about it made her heart ache even more.
Between last night and doing this today without her dad she just…
She wished they could go home. Especially since it was going to be nearly pointless.
"Hey, let's get a move on and catch up to Souta. I want to get this over with and not get caught in the storm. It looks like it's going to be bad."
Inuyasha nodded his head and urged Bessie into a solid gallop, surging ahead of her, and she wanted to smack herself upside the head.
Fuck.
Spirit wasn't the only one who had a thing for asses.
And noticing that wasn't helping.
At all.
"Shit," Souta swore, running his fingers through his hair. It looked like the sky was about to split open and let loose a torrential downpour the likes of which no one wanted to be caught in. And, as predicted...the cows were refusing to move.
Perfect.
Just perfect.
"I'll say," she mumbled, eyeing the sky. Even if they couldn't get the cows to move, they still had the calf they had to treat for pink eye.
Which, apparently, wasn't a three person job.
"Get outta here Squirt," Inuyasha encouraged, waving off Souta. You don't need to be here for this. Might as well get home before we get caught in a mess."
"You need the hands though," he shook his head. "Kagome hasn't done something like this in...years."
"Thanks," she grumbled, and Inuyasha shot her another concerned look.
"Nah. We will be fine. I'm here, ain't I? I can show her the ropes. Do the hard part. Why don't you go call that girl? Ask her out."
Souta's sputtering was almost comical.
"I...No...What? Why…"
"Because I dare ya," he smirked. "Besides...what do you have to lose? You get a no, you can move on and set your sights on someone else. She says yes...It could be the start of something wonderful," he smiled softly, pointedly avoiding looking at her. It didn't stop her mouth from going dry and her heart from aching a little as memories of their past flooded her mind.
Memories that only made all of this that much harder.
"Ya can't fill your life with regrets. If you do it, you'll know. One way or another. And then you'll be able to move forward. One way or another. I remember what it's like to be young and in love, ya know…"
She was trying really hard to ignore all of this. Really hard. But, the truth was, she remembered too. She could recall the way he asked her out in perfect detail. Remembered every second of falling in love with him. Remembered every second she spent thinking about him.
It...It was magical. And as much as his advice was affecting her, she also knew that her brother needed to hear it too.
"It's better to give it a go and have something wonderful than to always wonder."
"Inuyasha," Souta groaned, but he wasn't having it.
"I double dog dare ya."
"Does that still count if it's coming from you?"
"Go."
"Alright, alright...You two wanna get caught in the middle of this, that's on you," he replied, hopping back onto his horse. "I'll see you back at the house."
"And I better hear that you asked her out!" Inuyasha called as Souta turned around, flipping him off.
Inuyasha only laughed and shook his head.
"Shall we?" he asked, his eyes still dancing in amusement.
"Yeah," she nodded, watching as he pulled out an already filled syringe and bottle of eye powder from the saddle bag on Bessie.
"Take em for me? I'm gonna ask ya to hand them back once I getter on her side."
"Ok," she nodded as he grabbed the lasso, sniffing the air.
"This way," he directed with the tilt of his head, carefully picking his way through the pasture and around laying cows.
"Must be easy to find her with your nose," she commented passively, trying to make small talk. She knew it was stupid. The look he shot her said he thought the same thing, but he humored her nonetheless.
"Yeah. Just caught it the other day. She must have just gotten it. It's still only in one eye, but I'd rather catch it and treat it before it spreads. Don't need an eye patch, I think since it's so early on. She's over there," he pointed, and she followed his lead as he slowed down the closer they got to the small calf.
"I'm gonna sneak up on her," he calmly informed her, making his way behind the calf, loosening the rope. "Give me some space until I'm on top of her, ok?"
She could only nod and watch as he silently approached, taking measured steps towards the calf. It almost looked like he wasn't going to need the lasso. He was right up on her, nearly a yard away when she stood and tried to bolt.
She didn't have the chance.
Inuyasha was quick. He had the lasso unfurled and around her neck in seconds. His every move had been calculated. Precise. Watching him throw the calf down onto the ground and climbing on her shouldn't have been hot.
It shouldn't have affected her.
But there was something about seeing him take charge like that. Seeing the lethal power in his body on display as he gently forced the calf back down to the ground...Seeing the way the muscles in his arms danced under his skin with every movement…
It made her blush and bite the inside of her lip...because even if she didn't want it to be...she couldn't deny that in that moment…
It was all very hot. And it was affecting her.
A lot.
"Ok," he motioned with the jerk of his head. "We're ready for ya."
She couldn't even talk. All she could do was nod and bring over the syringe and powder and watch as he treated the cow. He tenderly administered the shot, rubbing the area after to help the antibiotic spread faster and the poor girl feel a little better.
"Powder?" he requested, and she handed it to him, watching as he held the calf's eye open and squirted it inside. "It's ok," he gently reassured her as he worked. "Almost all done," he promised giving her neck one last massage before hopping off.
"All good?" Kagome asked, the sky looking like it was on the verge of opening up.
"Yeah. Let's get the hell out of dodge."
He didn't have to ask her twice.
They were back on their horses and the fence gated up in minutes, just as the sound of thunder rolled in across the pasture.
"Shit," he mumbled.
"Yeah," she nodded, hoping Spirit and Bessie wouldn't get too spooked.
They rode in silence for a while, and Kagome wasn't sure if she liked it or not. On the one hand, her mind kept replaying everything that had happened that day...And also from the day before. She just couldn't shake what Kikyo had told her. No matter how much she wanted to.
And she really wanted to.
She needed a distraction.
"That was nice. What you told Souta."
She picked that of all things?
He looked a little surprised too, but he shrugged it off.
"Just want the kid to be happy. He's a good one. He shouldn't be second guessing himself, and he will never know how she feels about him unless he makes a move. I should know."
"Speaking from personal experience, huh?"
"What do you call us," he replied wryly.
"Us from then, or us from now?"
His eyebrows rose in surprise, and she shook her head, dismissing her question with a "Nevermind."
He didn't say anything at first.
"Take your pick, Kags. Asking ya out was the best thing I ever did, and despite everything…'n' how it ended...I don't regret it. I...I regret what I did ta ya. I regret wronging ya and not seeing it but...I don't regret us and the time we shared together. Then, or now as friends."
She looked over at him, surprised by his response, and it made him continue.
"I just want the kid to be happy. If he can find even a tenth of what we had...well...It will be worth it."
She smiled wistfully, fighting off the barrage of childhood and teenage dreams that attacked her all at once.
"We were happy…"
Was that why he had ruined everything with Kikyo? Because he thought that they could have that again?
"Kagome...what has been going on with ya taday? This ain't...It ain't all about your dad, is it?"
"I'm fine, Inuyasha," she soothed, but he...well...
"I don't buy it. You've been all over the place. Pissy, sad, hell sometimes you've even smelled confused…"
That fucking nose of his!
"Nothing," she shrugged dismissively. "Just worried about this rain."
"Rain," he mused, glancing back up at the sky. "Yeah...Sure. The rain."
"I am," she insisted with the shake of her head. "It looks like it's going to pour any second. We should pick up the pace."
He tilted his head to the side and pulled back on Bessie's reins, slowing her until she stopped.
"Inuyasha?"
"I ain't buying it, and I'm not moving until ya tell me what's going on with ya."
"Inuyasha…"
She heard a crack of thunder in the distance, alerting them both that the storm was rolling in. It made their horses uneasy. Her too.
"Inuyasha, we really need to get a move on…"
"Sure. Soon as ya tell me what's going on," he nodded, running a hand down Bessie's neck.
He was serious, wasn't he?
Fucking hell...He was fucking serious! Another crackle of thunder sounded in the distance, and she swore.
She didn't have time to play his game.
"Fine. Stay here then. I'm getting back to the barn."
She tapped her feet against Spirit's side urging him on. She expected that Inuyasha would follow suit, but apparently, she was wrong.
She wouldn't turn her head around.
She wasn't going to turn her head around.
Fuck.
She looked.
And he was still there. Dead set on getting caught in the middle of a thunderstorm. Fine. He didn't want to follow, that was his problem. Not hers.
...Who was she kidding?
She loved him too much to ignore him when he was being an idiot.
"Inuyasha!" she called over her shoulder. "Stop messing around! It's going to start pouring soon!"
"Then talk to me, Kagome!" he yelled back, and she bit the inside of her cheek. She was so scared...She wanted to know the truth, but they had come so far. They were finally on good terms again, and she was going to ruin all of that because of a rumor?
This time lightning split the sky in two, and her heart leapt into her throat.
Better to ruin them, than to let him die from stupidity.
"Fine! But only if you come with me!"
He tapped Bessie's sides with his feet, urging her forward and Kagome did the same, until they were both trotting in the direction of home.
"Spill, Kags," he began as soon as they were riding side by side once more, and she bit the inside of her cheek before slumping forward, resigning herself to her fate.
"I heard a rumor...that you broke up with Kikyo."
She watched his face morph into surprise before he smoothed it over, and casually shrugged.
"Shouldn't believe everything ya hear. It might not be true."
It felt like the start of her trip home all over again.
"Inuyasha—"
"—Why is that bothering ya? If I did? Not your relationship."
"Because she said it was my fault!"
"She…" he trailed off, his eyes widening before he ran a hand over his face. "Kikyo, huh? 'Course she did. Why wouldn't she."
"Inuyasha—"
"—When?"
"When?"
"When did she talk to ya," he bit out, his hands tightening around the reigns.
"When we went into town."
He nodded, his golden eyes flickering as he rolled her words around in his head.
"You've just been keeping that buried inside since last night?"
"Haven't exactly had a chance to talk to you about it...Or ask you if it's true. Is it?"
Lightning split the sky once more, and thunder crackled in the distance.
"Shit," he swore. "We really need ta get a move on…"
"Don't have to tell me twice," she replied, shooting him an "I told you so" look as they began running their horses back towards shelter.
"Come on," he called over to her. "I'll race ya!"
"Yeah?" she called out to him. "What happens if I win?"
"Let's talk prizes later," he smirked, urging Bessie on.
She wasn't thrilled with that, but the sky chose that exact moment to open up, and, frankly, she didn't care about who won what at the moment. Droplets pricked her skin as they ran, causing her to squint as she was soaked through. It was hard to see the world around her, but she could see Inuyasha beside her.
As long as he was at her side…
"Almost there," he yelled out over the dull roar of the storm.
"Ok," she replied as best she could, and she saw him glance over his shoulder at her.
"Come on Kags...Keep up with me…"
"I am," she promised, the barn coming into view.
Fucking finally.
They rode their horses inside, hopping off once they were safely within. The rain left her feeling cold, and she was doing her best to keep her teeth from chattering as she began removing the tact.
"So who won?" she asked, grabbing a towel and wiping off the water droplets on the saddle.
"Let's call it a tie," he sighed, doing the same, an uncomfortable silence falling over them as she began to shiver. She was doing everything in her power to keep from revisiting their conversation about Kikyo, but it wasn't working.
"Inuyasha...You never told me…"
He paused, glancing at her under the brim of his soaked hat.
"Is it true?"
"It's...complicated…"
"It's a yes or no," she countered stubbornly, removing the soaked blanket from across her horse's back and laying it out on the edge of his stable to air dry.
"That simplifies it too much," he sighed in exasperation, shaking his head.
"No it doesn't!" she insisted, stilling his hands as more lightning flashed across the sky. "Inuyasha...Just...tell me why you ended things with Kikyo. Please?"
She hated pleading, and he hated seeing her do it.
"I...I ended it with her cause she wasn't...I didn't have with her what I had with you," he finally admitted. "Kags...what we had...I don't know if I'll ever find that again, but I know that I wasn't going to find that with her. We were so fucking happy until I fucked up," he mused - his smile mirthless.
She didn't know what to say...so she didn't. Not at first.
"I've never found that with anyone else either," she whispered. "You were it, Inuyasha. For years. No one else has ever compared to you. No matter how hard I look. We just...worked, until the end…"
"We did," he nodded, removing the soaked blanket from Bessie's back. "We were perfect…Do you know how often I thought of you over the years? How much I still think about ya? About what we could have...If things hadn't...Dammit Kags," he chuckled, closing his eyes and sighing. "I don't think I'll ever find what we had again. You were it for me too. You were everything."
"You still think about it?" she pressed, her heart thundering in her throat.
"Us? Together? What it could have been like? Yeah. I do. And it's beautiful," he smiled wistfully. "Waking up next to you in the mornings...Making love ta ya at night...Chasing you all over the house, laughing and smiling...Lazy Sundays where we just sleep in and cuddle and kiss each other before I pin ya down to the bed and blow stinky breath in your face. Then you start squirming and I start kissing your neck…You're laughing and holding me tight to ya…" he stopped himself, pulling away from the movie playing in his head.
A beautiful dream that would never be realized.
"I think about it a lot, Kags…"
"It's beautiful," she swallowed, trying to get rid of the lump in her throat.
"Yeah," he nodded, shifting the blanket in his hands. "It is."
"H-here," she offered, taking it from him as a shiver ran up her spine as her fingers brushed against his, and their eyes connected. She could see the internal struggle within him. His uncertainty and longing. She quickly turned away from him, unable to hold his gaze when it reflected her own soul so perfectly back at her.
She moved to take the blanket and sling it over the side of the stable, hoping to help it dry, and hoping to get herself in check.
"Did you ever think about it? Over the last seven years?"
Her heart broke at his strained tone. Like he was afraid of her answer, but needed to know all the same.
"Think about what…"
"Come on Kags," he sighed in frustration. "You really need me to spell it out?"
"I…"
"Us," he replied crispley. "What it could have been like if...Things had been different. If we hadn't been scared, stupid kids who were more understanding."
She swallowed back her anger at the implication that he could really believe that she could wrap them up so neatly and bury their past away in the back of her heart.
"Yes. I thought of us. Everytime Garth Brooks comes on the radio or I look at a can of Budweiser...I can't eat a pancake anymore without thinking of the times you would sleep over at our house. I can't look at a man with amber eyes without seeing yours for just a split second. Every new moon, I wonder how you're holding up. I never stopped paying attention to the cycle because it made me feel a little closer to you, and I can't…"
She paused, taking a deep shuddering breath before turning to face him, making sure she held his gaze as she poured her heart out and reopened old wounds.
"And I can't think of home without thinking of you. What happened between us haunted me and I wondered what it would be like if we had been different. I wish things had been different. You were my world. The only man I ever truly had feelings for, and sometimes...Yeah. Sometimes I wonder where we would be now if...If things had been different, and we hadn't…"
She sighed, shaking her head.
"It doesn't matter now though."
"Don't it?"
His whispered words were so quiet, if she hadn't been looking at him, she might have thought that she hadn't heard it.
"If you could...Could have a second chance at it all...Would you take it?"
Her throat was closing up. It was hard to swallow. She wished she knew what he was thinking, but she could see how scared he was. He was terrified of her answer, because she knew that he was asking himself the same damn thing. Had probably been asking it for a while, and she knew he had his answer.
But hers…
Hers scared the shit out of him, because he knew what he wanted her to say, but the possibility that she wouldn't...What then? What would happen to them then? Once she said it, there was no way to unring that bell.
So she had to be sure.
But the thing was…
She didn't even have to think about it. She knew the second he asked what she wanted to say. So, she mustered up what confidence she had, and looked him right in his scared, desperate, pleading eyes so there would be no mistaking her when she replied.
"Wouldn't you?"
His whole body went slack for a moment, as if he had to process what she said, and it made her take him in. Really look at him.
She watched as a drop of water ran down his face, across his proud cheekbones, and through the thick of stubble peppering his cheeks. She watched it curve across his strong jaw, really taking in how much he had changed since they were kids. His chin was sharper. More defined, just like the rest of him. His body had changed so much. She could see it in the way the wet, nearly translucent fabric clung to his chest, allowing her to see every dip and curve and hard line of his torso.
Yet despite the ways he had changed...It was still him.
Her "Yash".
He had matured, but underneath it all, he was still that same boy she had fallen in love with all those years ago.
She could see that in his gestures.
In the nervous set of that same jaw. In the way his chest trembled as he tried to process those two simple words. Two words that seemed to wipe every thought from his head. Two words that slowly made his bright, scared amber eyes darken to molten honey and fill with want.
Two words that made him snap.
The last restraints of his control over himself shattered, and he was done fighting back his desire for her. He was done ignoring what he felt...because she had said she wanted him too, so what was the point anymore?
Why fight it?
He took a few heavy steps forward, pulling her small, soaked frame to his and he clearly wanted to say something, but he couldn't. Words were insufficient. They couldn't convey the feelings he needed to express. They couldn't describe the thoughts running rampant in his head, and...he didn't need them. Not when she could see them in his eyes. See them painted plainly across his face.
He wanted her...And she wanted him.
And in this moment, that was all they needed.
She felt his hands tugging her saturated hair, pulling her head back as his lips crashed into hers with a nearly bruising force. It was everything she had wanted since she had figured out she still loved him, and it was so satisfying. They could finally kiss and she didn't feel regret or worry or shame. She could just feel.
She could feel his fingers in her hair - his claws scraping against her scalp as he turned her head, sending shivers up her spine. She could feel his chest rumble when her arms wrapped around his neck, trying to pull him closer.
And he could feel her. The hitch of her breath. The scrape of her teeth against his bottom lip as she nipped it. Fuck, this was everything he had wanted for so long. Everything he hadn't realized he had been missing from his life for the last seven years.
Kissing her felt like a balm to his bruised and battered soul. It felt like a soothing salve that eased the ache that had been painfully squeezing the life out of his heart all this time, and now it was like...It was like the vice grip around it was easing. Slipping away to let it beat freely.
And she felt the same way.
Kissing him felt like healing and like they were being reborn anew...and weren't they?
Wasn't this...couldn't this be a second chance? Maybe not at forever...maybe they couldn't get ahead of themselves there...but it still felt like a second chance at everything.
And the thought drove her wild. If this was going to be a second chance, then she wanted to show him just what that meant to her, and he wanted to do the same. She could taste his desperation as he continued to kiss her. His need. The fire in him. It was intensifying with every pass of his lips against hers. Every brush. Every little movement. It was going to burn them alive, and she welcomed the flames with reckless abandon.
This kiss was different from every other they had shared since she had returned. Those were shy. Timid. They were farewells and apologies and whispers of a wish.
This was the opposite. This was demanding. Passionate. And she eagerly responded in kind...because this kiss.
This was a hello.
Her hands fisted the back of his soaked henley, trying to pull him closer. Her nails scraped against his skin through the wet fabric, silently urging him for more, and he felt it. With every pass of his lips against hers, he could feel her trying to bring him closer and reciprocate in kind. He could taste her desire for him, smell it perfuming the air, and it was driving him mad. Especially when he felt her hand begin to move. It released the fabric of his shirt and traveled across his shoulder blades, and up his neck. He could feel the points of her nails dragging across his flesh, making shivers run up his spine.
This was different.
Something new she must have picked up over the years, and honestly...He liked it. He liked the feeling of her nails against his skin, and he liked the feeling of her grasping his head. She had released his shirt altogether in favor of holding his head and tilting it to the side and guiding him.
He liked the feeling of her trying to take a bit of control. For now, at least. She prodded his lips with her tongue and he eagerly parted them, allowing her to slip it inside and run it along his fangs.
She moaned at the feeling of them. She had missed them, as strange as that might sound. Had missed the slight danger of running her tongue along it. Perhaps because it was like an act of trust. She was trusting him to not hurt her. He could easily pierce her right now. It wouldn't take much...And so she was putting her faith in him.
But she was doing that anyway, wasn't she? She was trusting him with her heart again right now...And he could easily pierce it too. All it would take was a word or two...but...she trusted him to not. Their past was long buried, and they were rising above it.
She continued to move her hands up the side of his face, carelessly tossing his soaked hat so she could feel his damp ears.
Another act of trust.
He had always hated people touching them, but there was something about Kagome doing it...And the second her fingers found the fleshy base of one, she felt him moan against her lips and push his head further into her hand. It made him hold her tighter as she slowly rubbed the furry appendage. She gently scraped her nails against it, and it made his breath hitch before he exhaled shakily and reclaimed her lips. Worked her fingers up to its velvet soft tip, and she felt her back slam against the wall of the barn.
She gasped for air, breaking her lips from his as she felt the wood slats dig into her skin, and his lips deviated from hers. He wanted to taste more of her. More than just her lips. He followed the path a rain droplet had taken, curving down her jaw and continuing south across her neck. His tongue darted out, running up the smooth, pale column of her flesh and she gasped, closing her eyes.
"Yash," she breathed, and his heart soared.
Yash.
It had been so long - too fucking long, in his opinion - since he had heard it like this last. It was music to his ears. It made him feel whole and it made him want to do more. Especially when she held him there, tilting her head to the side to give him better access and the ability to do what he would to her.
She wanted more too.
His fingers found the hem of her shirt and slipped past it, wanting to feel more of her, almost as if that would help him feel like this was real. The soaked fabric of her blue shirt clung to his fingers, but he didn't notice. Not when he could feel her trembling under his touch. He wasn't going to push too far. Not when everything was still fragile, but he needed to feel her. He moved his hand to her side, just wanting to feel more of her, and held her hip in place so he could push further into her. He wanted to feel every inch of her small form, and the breathy moans and gasps coming from her made him suckle her pulse point a little harder.
Just so he could hear more sounds of pleasure from her.
More sounds of need.
"Yash…" she mewled, a hand fisting in the back of his shirt once more, this time lifting it. She wanted to feel him too. She slid that same hand under it, tracing the line of his spine to his shoulder blades with her fingertips. She kneaded the muscles of his shoulders with her hands, and he let out a shuddering moan against her neck. The vibrations from it made her whole body tingle, and she didn't recognize the sound that it pulled from her in turn.
He drew away from her after a moment, drawing a fang across her neck, to take in the rosey tint spreading across her skin. It was perfect, and when she turned to look at him, capturing his eyes with hers, he silently swore. She was so fucking beautiful. Her eyes were dark and filled with desire and he just—
Kagome pulled her hands from under his shirt and reached out to pull his face back to hers, her nails digging into his skin with the intensity behind it. It was like she was determined to rediscover what kissing him was like right this second, and honestly, that wasn't too far from the truth.
She needed him so much...And this was...Indescribable. She had forgotten just what she had once had, and now that she was getting just a taste of it...She needed more. She couldn't be satiated with just a small, little sample. She wanted more. She wanted all of him.
She lifted her leg to wrap it around his waist as their lips and tongues continued to feverishly caress one another. The move pleased him, and he removed the hand under her shirt to place it under her thigh and keep it there. He moved the other to rest above her head, allowing him to press her further into the wall. He could feel every inch of her body. Feel the heat of her skin against his. Felt her fingers playing with the buttons of his shirt…
Perhaps he should have stopped her, but he frankly didn't give a shit. He liked feeling her fingers against the slickened skin of his chest. Loved feeling loved how eager she was to have more of him, which was good since he wanted more of her too.
So much more than what he could have now.
The thought didn't even surprise him anymore.
It was clear as day how much he wanted her, and frankly, if it weren't for the cold wet clothes, the thunderstorm, and the lack of a bed, he would have shown her. Her scent certainly made it seem like she was open to the idea.
Her scent…
It was making his head spin. Almost as much as her lips sucking at his pulse point before moving onto his collar bone.
Her fingers began to explore the skin of his chest, feeling the hardened muscles that weren't there when they had been younger. His body had become so firm. Defined. She wanted to peel him out of the soaked fabric and run her tongue along every inch of him. Instead she would make due with what she had, and he didn't seem to have any complaints with it.
"Kags," he moaned, his head rolling back onto his shoulders to let her do whatever the hell she wanted, because she could, and she was making his heart loudly pound in his chest. He couldn't even hear the rain anymore. All of his attention and focus was on the vixen curled around his body. Savoring the feel of her lips on his collar bone and teeth running across his skin.
"Yash," she throatily replied when he called for her, returning her lips to his and he sighed happily as he began to soften their kisses. Ease them away from soul crushing desperation that made his bold boil, and towards something sweeter.
She followed his lead, easing the pressure and slowing her movements. Their kisses became lingering. Teasing.
He would dip his head in to kiss her before pulling away at the last second, merely grazing her lips with his. He could feel her smile for a moment before she caught his lower lip between her teeth the next time he tried it. She gave it a light reprimanding nip, and he let out a breathy chuckle before lazily giving her what she wanted.
Him.
And she loved it. She loved how they could go from raw unbridled passion one second to something sweeter and more sensual the next. The tip of his nose brushed against her cheek as he dipped in for another kiss, and she readily continued to return it, moving her tongue against his when he silently asked for it.
She allowed him to duel her, and when he pulled away for more air, he ran the pad of his thumb across her swollen, well kissed lip, pulling down ever so slightly.
"Kagome," he murmured, his hot breath fanning across her skin.
"Inuyasha," she responded in a hushed whisper.
He turned his head to press one more final, lingering kiss to her lips before pulling away from her altogether, taking in her visague.
She looked this a ruffled, well kissed, pouty lipped mess.
He had never wanted her more in his life, and he couldn't help but cup her cheek, trying to maintain some form of contact with her at all costs.
"Hey," she murmured, and a light, breath chuckle escaped his lips.
Hey? Hey?
It was...it was funny. After all that, that's what she had to say to him. But...what the hell did you say to your ex-fiance after something like that? Something so deep and intense and passionate that it took your fucking breath away and left your head spinning. So...Fuck it.
"Hey," he replied in kind, leaning his forehead against hers, rubbing the tip of his nose against hers.
He wanted to talk to her about what the hell this meant, exactly. He wanted to know if this was a one time thing...or if...If there could be more...But…
He was scared still, and no matter what happened after this moment, he wanted to have this moment. This one last perfect moment where they could just…
Where she could be his, and he could be hers.
But fuck if he didn't hope it would be more than just this.
...And fuck if they didn't have a whole fucking weekend to talk about it.
This camping trip was either going to be the best thing to ever happen to him, or the worst.
But something told him that this was the start of something new. Something wonderful and amazing and…
And he really fucking hoped that he was right.
A/N:
YES.
THAT IS CORRECT.
MY FAVORITE STUBBORN ASSES ARE BACK TOGETHER.
PS I already finished the smut.
PPS it was 50 pages.
PPPS I had to break it up into two parts so people wouldn't kill me (BUT. The break was VERY natural.)
PPPPS I'm gonna try and get that first part up SOMEWHERE ELSE in 4 days (deets on my tumblr...BUT ALSO LIFE HAPPENS SO PLZ DUN SHOOT MEH. I AM AGONIZING OVER THIS TOO).
PPPPS I'm out of PSs. And I hope we all enjoyed this chapter. I AGONIZED OVER IT. A.G.O.N.I.Z.E.D. AND ASKED SO MANY PEOPLE TO READ IT. There's some AMAZING art for this chapter that you can check out on tumblr or my archive of our own local.
THANK YOU AS ALWAYS TO EVERYONE FOR THEIR SUPPORT! And especially to those who took a hot sec to review this last chapter. Shout out to bluejay785, HammyJessa, LayLay lives, Closet lover, Shayeh923, , Reesexxoo, NightOwlSuffersInsomnia, RedViolet11, Guest (Giiiiiiiirllll...We all wanna smack Kagome LMAO), LucyDEU, AND Momo Neko Hitsugaya! YOU FILL MY LITTLE ANGSTY HEART WITH SO MUCH JOY!
UNTIL NEXT TIME!
-LL