A/N: Hello beautiful readers! So this is the last chapter of Towers. I will post an epilogue shortly too. Thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed, you've all kept me going and your kind words mean everything to me. PS: The song used in the end of the chapter is Taylor Swift's Safe and Sound for anyone who didn't know.
Chapter 11
"You can't smoke those in here." Rachel snapped at Cecily from where she was sitting, bandaging Kurt's hands.
"Sister, the whole city's going up in flames, you really think this makes a difference?" Cecily replied, staring out at the city from the open window.
"As a matter of fact," Rachel began but Kurt cut her off.
"Let her smoke, Rachel." He said quietly.
He could feel Rachel looking at him skeptically for a moment before she decided to let it go. It was a day to pick your battles.
"I want to go back." Cecily said suddenly, lighting up another cigarette and pacing in front of the window.
Kurt thought she looked like a caged animal. She was pacing in front of the window, her long stringy hair swishing back and forth as she walked.
"You can't go back there, that's insane. It's dangerous and it's chaotic. You have to let the police and firefighters do their job." Rachel supplied, dabbing ointment on the cuts on Kurt's hands.
"It's insane not to go back, cat lady!"
Kurt snorted in spite of himself. Cecily hadn't paid attention to Rachel's introduction when she had burst into the apartment earlier, a whirl of panic and high pitched noises. She had simply deduced that Rachel looked like a cat lady and referred to her as such for the rest of the afternoon.
"The firefighters, they're trying to save thousands of people. We're only looking for two."
"We can't be rash. This is a time of crisis and as much as I love Blaine, we can't do anything for him." Rachel glanced nervously at Kurt as she said this.
Kurt knew she had been looking at him like he was a ticking time bomb since the moment she had walked in. She took one look at the destroyed paintings and the broken glass and had shaken her head. She'd coaxed him into letting her fix up his hands, but she was treating him as if he might go off again at any moment.
Truthfully, Kurt didn't trust himself. He felt unstable.
"What are you implying?" Cecily roared, outraged.
"You said so yourself! They were right there. I'm just saying that the chances are that they…I mean…there's nothing more we can…" Rachel cringed as she trailed off.
"So we should just sit here with our hands up our asses waiting for them to be delivered in body bags?"
"No!" she cried, tears falling fast down her cheeks again. She had barely stopped crying since the minute she entered the apartment. "No, don't say that, I just…we have to be patient."
Cecily cried out and threw her arms up in frustration.
"This is fucking stupid. I'm going to look for them. We know exactly where they were, I know exactly where the guitar was."
Kurt, who had remained silent and still for most of their argument suddenly spoke up.
"I'm coming with you." He pulled away from Rachel's fussing fingers.
Both women stopped bickering to stare at him. It was if they had forgotten he was there.
Rachel regained her composure first.
"Kurt, sweetheart, please, I know you're upset, but you're really not in a state to go anywhere," she began.
Cecily nodded, "You should stay here…in case he comes home."
Great, now they decide to agree on something, Kurt thought as he pulled himself off the couch on shaky legs.
"No. I need to find him. I need to find Blaine."
"Kurt, you're shaking, you can barely stand, you can't go out there." Cecily supplied, more gently than Kurt had ever heard her speak.
He was certain though. "I need to find Blaine."
"Honey," Rachel began, reaching for him.
"I need to find Blaine, I need to find him!" Kurt repeated again, more frantic and desperate to make them understand. They needed to understand.
"Okay, okay." Said Cecily, "But listen, Kurt, you realize there we may never find him, and you realize that there's a chance that if we do find him, he may not be…" she trailed off uneasily.
"I need to find Blaine," Kurt repeated.
"Dead or alive."
With that, Rachel seemed to give up. She agreed to stay at the apartment while Cecily and Kurt went back to the site of the attack.
She clutched Kurt tight to her chest as they prepared to venture out into the city, and he wasn't sure if she was going to let go.
"Be careful okay? I'll be here when you get back…no matter what."
Kurt nodded, ignoring the implications of what she was saying the best he could.
He felt numb and sick as they ventured out onto the street, but he was relieved to be doing something.
Outside, the city was transformed.
It wasn't visible or tangible, but the atmosphere had shifted subtlety. People were stopped in the streets in clumps, talking and staring at the sky.
Traffic was stopped dead in the streets and Kurt could feel the claustrophobia in the air. It was if the city had stopped to hold its breath and had yet to let it out.
He and Cecily walked quickly, realizing that the shut down subways and the traffic in the streets meant that walking was probably their best option.
They didn't speak; there was nothing to say.
As they made their way through the crowded streets he hummed softly under his breath. It helped to keep the panic at bay.
His mind fixated on that day he had brought Blaine home from the park; frozen and shaking. He focused on the memory of their bodies pressed together in the bed, on the dark birth mark on the base of Blaine's neck.
He remembered running his fingers over the mark, enthralled by the dark patch of soft skin. He remembered placing his lips on it, kissing it, sucking gently and feeling Blaine arch into the touch.
It was what he focused on as they walked. It was the biggest piece of Blaine he could think about without losing it. He couldn't think about his face, or his chest, or the rest of his body without panicking.
I need to find him.
Kurt didn't even realize that they were approaching the scene until Cecily took his shoulder and steered him towards the spot where it had happened.
Kurt couldn't take in everything that was happening. There were sirens and shouting everywhere; the sounds of crackling and burning filled the air.
Everywhere he looked was heavy with smoke and people; firefighters and police, flashing lights and screaming people.
But the worst was the bodies.
Kurt realized in that moment that he'd never seen a dead body before.
Everywhere he looked, firefighters were pulling people from the rubble. Kurt couldn't see a single person who'd survived.
Cecily made an odd choking noise beside him which made Kurt turn to look at her.
"What are we doing here?" she whispered, never taking her eyes off the rows of bodies.
Kurt only shook his head mutely.
So much death.
Cecily started scanning the bodies, searching. But they couldn't get close enough to really be able to see anything. The police were keeping people far away. Besides that, some of the bodies were so badly burned, so badly broken that Kurt couldn't even tell whether they were male or female, let alone if one of them was Blaine.
What would he do if one of those mangled corpses belonged to Blaine? His Blaine.
"I can't…" he began, turning away from the horrible sight.
"Kurt," Cecily grabbed his arm.
"I can't, I can't,"
"Kurt, wait. Look." Cecily grabbed him and pointed to where a couple of firefighters were pulling bodies from the wreckage.
Covered in blood, bruised and broken, it was undoubtedly Blaine.
Blaine stopped trying.
Ray was dead. He was surrounded by corpses. The pain was too much. He couldn't breathe. So he stopped trying to. He had wanted to see Kurt one last time. He wanted to say I'm sorry. He wanted to say I love you. He wanted to say goodbye. But he could feel the smoke clogging up his lungs. He could feel the blood draining from his body. He could feel himself giving up.
Blaine tried to hold on, he did. But there only so much pain, only so much hurt and fear that he could take.
Maybe if he closed his eyes, just for a moment, he could see Kurt again. Kurt's face was burned onto the inside of his eyelids.
Everything started to get brighter, and he felt as if the weight of the rubble was being lifted off his chest.
This is it, the end.
Kurt didn't know how they managed to fight through the crowds towards where the firefighters were laying out the bodies and paramedics were checking people for signs of life. But they did, and soon he and Cecily fell to their knees in front of Blaine. Kurt swallowed thickly, trying to keep the bile from rising in his throat.
Blaine was drenched in blood. His face was a mess of dirt and blood, caked and burned. Kurt reached him first, pulling the broken, bloody body into his arms. Blaine's head flopped against his chest and Kurt let out a strangled cry.
"Blaine! Blaine, no, no."
Cecily was shouting beside him,"Help! We need help!"
Kurt pulled Blaine closer to him, ignoring the blood all over his hands and clothes. He just needed Blaine as close as he could. He wound his hands into Blaine's hair and pulled him into his chest, sobbing.
"Blaine, please, no. Please, I need you. I need you."
"Please don't leave me, I love you, I love you, I'm so sorry, please."
Blaine remained motionless, limp. His eyes were shut and Kurt struggled to feel breath in his chest but he couldn't. Kurt was vaguely aware that he was screaming, but did nothing to stop. He felt like he was no longer inside his body. All he wanted was for Blaine to open his eyes.
Holding Blaine's cold body in his arms, he thought back again to the last time he had held Blaine like this. Blaine had been dying then too, but Kurt had saved him with the warmth of his body. Maybe he could do it again. He clutched desperately at Blaine's back and hair, trying hopelessly to transfer some of his own life into the cold body.
Unaware of his own actions, Kurt pulled back the bloody collar of Blaine's shirt to reveal the dark birthmark over his neck. Shaking, tears falling onto Blaine's burnt skin, Kurt bent down and placed his lips over the mark and whispered against his neck,
"Just close your eyes,"
His hot breath against Blaine's skin turned into shaky song. He was at a loss for what else to do. It felt like the only thing he could offer in this moment was a few last notes for the boy who had sang to him in the park.
Don't you dare look out your window darling
Everything's on fire
The sound of sirens wailed around him.
The war outside our door keeps raging on
Hold onto this lullaby
Cecily was yelling for help.
Even when the music's gone
Kurt choked on his words.
Just close your eyes
He ran his fingers over Blaine's long eyelashes.
The sun is going down
You'll be alright
No one can hurt you now
Come morning light,
He wrapped his arms tighter around Blaine, searching for a heartbeat he couldn't find.
You and I'll be
Safe
And
Sound