Heaven is waiting
Age: Nine Years
The house is dark, the only light coming from the full moon that shines through tattered lace curtains. Fay cowers in the far corner of the living room, behind a brown armchair. She's dressed in an oversized grey sweatshirt and jeans, both worn and torn, with small blood stains. Her legs are pulled to her chest and arms firmly folded over her eyes, in a small attempt to shield herself from harm.
Sam hadn't come home this afternoon, leaving Fay home alone to cope with their father. A half-filled beer bottle is thrown from the other side of the room, and smashes on the wall just above Fay's head. She is sprayed with small chips of glass and the toxic-smelling liquid.
"What did I tell ya little bitch!" Her father's voice roars across the room.
Fay wants to yell at him, talk back, she also wants to cry and scream, all at the same time. Just tell her father everything she thinks of him, but that wouldn't do any good, maybe end up with her getting a black eye, or broken arm. So, she bites her tongue, holds back her tears and lets her father march across the room, without making a move to run, talk, flinch, barely blink out of rhythm. She wasn't going to show him the fear he desired.
The man's boots slam against the wooden floorboards with such strength Fay feels like an earthquake is moving the house. She tries to think of everything else in the world and not the nearing footsteps. But she hears when they stop and feels pain rain down on her as Josh grabs her by the hair and rips her out of the corner.
Fay gasps in pain, never being able to fully block out the pain of having her hair pulled. To a large degree she could take the hits and kicks, and all the verbal abuse. But when her hair is pulled, it feels like her scalp is being peeled off, and her eyes would roll back in her head as her mind went blank to the world around her. But Fay couldn't really use that old 'I wanted to give myself a haircut' reason any more for why it was jaggedly cut, and she couldn't afford a hairdresser. So, she had grown it out, so it looked more even and didn't stand out as much at school. Now it almost reaches her shoulders.
Fay lets herself fall to the floor when John lets go of her hair. She curls up in a ball just as one of her father's boots makes contact with her shoulder blade, resulting in a chilling popping nose. Fay's right arm goes dead at her side, dislocated for the second time this year, the tenth time this lifetime.
She shuts her eyes as tight as she can and lets the kicks come. One after another, the kicks keep coming.
Age: Thirteen years
Fay sits at the highest point of the cliffs, her legs dangling weightless over the edge, fingers dug deeply into the edge's loose soil, her eyes gazing over the cliff face at the crashing seas below her. Her breaths are long and deep, savouring the salty sea air. A small smile plays on her lips at the memories it brings back. As the sun sinks over the sea – filling the sky with rays of pink and orange light – her heart screams it's not too late, just stand up and walk away! Just stand up and walk away!
But her mind tunes it out with jump, one minute and it will all be over. No more pain, worries, heart ache, just sleep, peace. No! More! Worries! She visibly relaxes at the mere thought of not having to live every day in agony, fearing her own shadow.
Before she can talk herself out of it and be stuck in an endless loop of pain any longer, Fay pulls her dangling feet to press solidly against the cliff face. With one last breath of the fresh sea air she pushes off the cliff and can't contain the scream fleeing her on the fall. Through the black hair that whips around her face, she catches a glimpse of what she hopes to be her last sunset, then her eyes sting with saltwater.
The water's iciness stabs at her body's warmth, pins and needles shoot through her muscles. She can feel the water pushing at her ears, making the only thing she can hear the banging of her heart. It is frantically banging on her rib cage, as though trying to escape her imminent death.
She had heard some people say that drowning was a peaceful, easy way to die, but she knew it wouldn't be. Her body wanted to live, and it fights to resurface, but Fay won't let it. She drags her chilling limbs deeper into the darkness. Her lungs burn for air, but she keeps her lips sealed until she has lost all sense of direction and light, left alone in full darkness.
She opens her mouth and is met by a new burning sensation. Fay feels her body fighting a losing battle against the cold water, burning lungs and eyes all become oblivious to her. It all just fades away… sinking into the sea's darkness. Her last thoughts are of comfort that in some way or form she will be with her mother again and it will all be okay, because he won't be there to hurt her any more.
With one final spasm her body goes limp… lifeless. Her mind goes blank and for once, Fay Rose Uley is left with no more pain, sadness, worry, regret just… peace.
Peace.
But all that is just a sweet dream, something Fay's mind tortures her with, mocking her, telling her she's weak and will never escape. She jolts up in bed too fast, making her freshly bruised arms ache and the cuts on her back sting with the sudden movement and hot sweat that coats her body. Sam had moved out last month and the betting's were getting worse now it was all focused on her.
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