Chapter Six: The Vulture:
"Hey, you guys see the dude I brought in today? The drug dealer? 81 years old" He said. "I think it's the oldest collar of my career" Jake said
"I once arrested a 96 year old for flashing. I was so scared he would die in my back seat. Or flash me" Amy said
"My oldest collar was 78 year old. But the PCP made her fight like she was 20" Rosa added
"What about two 50 year old twins? Does that count as a 100 year old?" Scully asked
"No" Jake confirmed
"Talking oldest bags?" Charles asked walking in "68" He said
"That's not that old" Amy said
"Yeah but I was only 20 then" Charles added
"20? We're you even a cop then" Jake asked
"No. That was before the Academy" Charles said.
Rosa and Jake exchanged a look.
"Charles' isn't talking about his oldest arrest" Rosa confirmed. Followed by a unified "EW" From the rest. This led on to Charles trying to explain himself, and everyone walking away.
Rosa finished her briefing when Terry took over, asking Jake about his murder, she sat back down.
"Peralta. You want to loop everyone in?" Holt asked. Jake groaned
"That was not. request" Holt confirmed. Reluctantly, Jake stood up and went to the front.
"Fine. Get ready for some stuff on a screen. Meet. Fred Gorman. Prominent citizen, lawyer. Corpse" He said "Now Meet his wife, Ann Hoert. She did not take his last name, but I believe that she did take his life" Jake said "Now Hoert had means, motive and opportunity, I just need to find the murder weapon" Jake said
Once more, Jake refused resources or personnel, even when Rosa and Amy came up to his desk to ask.
Jake was on door duty when his phone rang, he answered it
"Peralta" He greeted
"Yo" Rosa greeted. Jake smiled at her voice "I looked at the photos of your victim on your desk. The puncture wounds are similar to a case I had a while back. They aren't from a knife. I think it's something spiral like a corkscrew" She said
"Shhh Shh shh" Jake said to the baby
"Don't Shush me, I'm helping you" She said offended
"No. I'm holding a baby. That was actually very helpful. Thank you" He said
"Uh-oh! You'd better get back here. Now!" She said on the phone. Jake knew that tone. He knew something was wrong. He handed the baby back as soon as he could, and returned with Charles.
Jake walked into the precinct, holding his hands up to Rosa. Asking why she made him come back. She pointed over to his desk. Jake groaned as he saw who was sat there, and stormed straight into Holt's office. Rosa watched apologetically from her desk. Jake eventually walked out and sat at his desk. She could tell from his face that he was beyond pissed off. She walked over to lean on the desk opposite as the Vulture sat beside Jake's desk.
"Hey! Should we take odds on how fast I'll solve this case?" He asked
"Nope!" Jake said
"I mean what was It with Diaz' last 'impossible' extortion case? What was it, six hours?" He asked
"That's because it was 98% Solves" Rosa defended
"The last 2% is the hardest to get. That's why they leave it in the milk" He said
"What?" Jake asked. Jake was almost relieved as Amy walked past and the Vulture started flirting with her. The Vulture left after smacking Jake on the ass. Who walked off to the evidence room. Clearly trying to calm himself down. When no one was watching, Rosa decided to follow.
"How do you always find me?" Jake asked
"I know you well enough man. Look why didn't you just rope us all in earlier?" She asked
"I thought I could solve it. The case was almost done. It was just finding a weapon" He said
"We solved three cases in the space of what. An hour, the other week?" Rosa asked
"I know" Jake said looking down
"Sorry babe" She said. Jake looked up from the ground and caught her eye, as a mischievous smirk came on her lips
"Come on. Let me cheer you up a bit" She said flirtatiously. Unable to resist her, he nodded. She walked to the door and he followed a moment later. She walked straight to Babylon whilst he took the long way. Not wanting anyone to see that he and Rosa were going in there together.
Once he was sure that no one knew where he really intended to go, Jake stepped inside Babylon and was met with the beautiful sight of Rosa on her knees, completely topless. She still wore her jeans and her heels, but her breasts bounced freely as she knelt before him.
She said nothing but he walked over to her, leant down and placed one long passionate kiss to her lips. So much emotion in that kiss. She could tell he was angry and was trying his hardest not to take it out on her. Instead channelling it into passion. He broke the kiss after a minute or two, and stood up, as her hands already went to his belt. Undoing the material, and pushing it down his thighs. She released his already hardening member from the constraints of his underwear, and let her mouth and hands work their magic. In a matter of minutes, Jake had forgotten all about the Vulture, and was lost in the rhythm that she was providing him.
He thought that it could have been that it had been such a rough day. Or that she hadn't sucked him off like this for a few weeks. But the feeling that she was giving him was such a high stat of euphoria, he genuinely didn't know how long he would be able to last.
"Rosa... Fuck" Jake hissed, as he felt himself being drawn closer and closer. In true Rosa fashion, she only got faster, deeper, harder, rougher. One of her hands went around to play with his balls. She looked up at him, nothing but lust in her eyes, and he found his release. She swallowed every drop of his cum.
That night, they all sat around in the bar, drinking to the loss of Jake's case.
"God! I hate the vulture so much" Jake groaned!
"Me too. But he is kind of hot" Rosa replied, Jake looked over at her and raised an eyebrow "What?" She asked "You can hate people and still think they're hot. Case in point. Manuel Noriega" She said
"You know what? I'm with you in this. Tonya Harding" Jake added
"Yeah, she's thick" Rosa replied. Jake knew that Rosa was bi. She had told him before. But this was as close as she had ever gone to telling the squad. No one said anything about it though. And Rosa decided to change the subject.
"Sorry you got Vultured" Rosa said to him "Happens to the best of us" She said
"GOD! I just want to get back at him so bad! I wish I could throw his cell phoen in the toilet, or slash his tires. I don't know" Jake said
"Or slash his gorgeous throat" Rosa added
"Ok!" Jake said decisively "I'm buying everyone drinks as long as we're here thinking of a revenge plan. Best ides gets 50 bucks" Jake said "Throw 'em on out" he said
The squad started listed ways to get back at the Vulture.
"What if we wrap his motorcycle in plastic wrap and melt it with a hair dryer?" Charles asked "Little trick I learned in gift basket making class" He said
"Alright" Jake said getting everyone's attention. Rosa looked up from throwing her darts. "Here's what we're up to" Jake said "Steak his kidney. Burn down his house. Replace his Aloe tissues with regular tissues. Thank you, Charles. Leave a dead cat in his cedar closet. Note, he would have to own a cedar closet" Jake read
"He seems like he would" Rosa said to Amy. Jake raised an eyebrow, making a note to ask her questions later.
"Uh. Sneak into his house and burn popcorn in the microwave. Thank you, Charles. Uh... Scully asked for Mashed Potatoes so I wrote that down. Well I hate to say it, but I think by default Charles' motorcycle idea is the winner" Jake said throwing his napkin down on the table
"Let's get to it. Anyone know where the vulture lives?" Jake asked
"On third, right near here" Rosa replied
"How do you know that?" Charles asked. Rosa raised an eyebrow suggestively at him and Jake.
"Chug 'em boys. We're rolling" Jake said, as they finished their drinks. They grabbed their bags and started walking to Third. Buying a few rolls of plastic wrap on route. They found his apartment, located his motorcycle and started wrapping it.
"YES!" They celebrated once it was done. "Take that Vulture" Charles gloated
"Yeah!" They cheered
"Alright. Give me your hair dryer" Jake said to Amy and Rosa
"What?" Rosa asked
"What are you talking about?" Amy asked him
"Don't you carry one in your purse?" Jake asked
"Have you ever met a human woman?" Amy asked. Jake shrugged
"There's a drug store 4 blocks away. I'm on it" Scully said
"Oh no! Scully travelling 4 blocks. That could take weeks" Jake said sadly
Jake finished his phone call with Holt, and turned back to the squad. Smiling.
"You should be frowning. Why is Jake smil- Why are you ssmiling.?" Amy asked being reduced to one drink amy. A little spacy.
"Because Captain Holt just gave us the perfect revenge plan. We team up, and we solve this case right now" Jake said looking directly at Rosa, remembering how quickly they solved all those cases after his slump.
"That is not what he meant" Amy insisted
"Think about it, Amy. We go back to the scene of the crime, find the murder weapon. And out vulture the Vulture!" He said "No one gets in trouble if we crack the case" Jake said Rosa had to admit. He made a pretty compelling argument.
"Ok. Screw it. I'm in" Amy said. Rosa had to question her ability to be dominant in that intoxicated state. She didn't even think. But, on the other hand. Rosa was on Jake's side entirely and smiled as a plan formed in her mind to solving this case.
"Yes! That's right! All right. We're angry, we're getting revenge. We're a little bit tipsy. We should not be driving. We're taking the bus" Jake exclaimed.
"I love the bus" Charles exclaimed as Rosa smiled. She always loved how Jake could be rational whilst drunk. They walked to the nearest bus and found the one that stopped right outside the crime scene.
Jake sat on the bus. Rosa was about to sit beside him, when Amy pushed past and took that spot instead. Rosa raised an eye at her, and sat a few seats down. Sighing when Hitchcock sat next to her.
"So the waitress heard the couple arguing at dinner. Apparently, he was having an affair and it was not the first time" Jake said "Two years ago she caught him with a. dog walker, and she was... Walking his dog... If you know what I mean" Jake said. Rosa smiled. She liked Jake's little jokes like that. She drowned out when Amy started flirting with Jake.
Fed up, Rosa decided to make her presence known. She walked past Jake, and sat beside Charles. Coming up with some excuse about Hitchcock's bowels as her reason for moving.
Rosa partook in Jake's roleplaying. Thinking that her ides of where the corkscrew went was a good guess. But she knew that Jake would have exhausted that lead. She watched as Jake worked out where the corkscrew was, and they ran to the trash chute, sending Charles down. She jumped when they were cornered by police, but Jake, calm as ever replied
"We're cops" and got out his badge. She admitted his ability to stay calm and reasonable. She envied it too.
Back at the precinct, they all watched as the Vulture shouted at Holt, whilst Jake and Charles proudly presented the corkscrew.
"You actually found the corkscrew in the trash chute!" Amy asked
"Stuck to the side, just like you said" Jake replied.
"Oh my God! You guys. We out-vulture the Vulture" Amys exclaimed, followed by a very bad imitation of a vulture cawing.
"What the Hell was that?" Jake asked
"What? It's a vulture" Amy defended.
Jake announced that he was about to go and pass the weapon to the DA, when Terry walked in. Angrier than they had ever seen him, and pulled him outside. Rosa suddenly felt very bad for Jake.
Rosa watched as Terry and Jake marched into Holt's office, Jake didn't even look at her as he passed. She knew he was pissed off. She watched as Jake joined the argument inside. Clearly calming the situation as a few minutes later, the Vulture walked out. Flirting with Amy as he did. Jake followed them out.
"Well. Case closed. Good work everyone. Let's call it a night without any further discussion" Jake said . Clearly Holt didn't get the memo.
"No. You all broke into a crime scene tonight. Under the influence of alcohol. Overstepped your jurisdiction and disobeyed my direct orders. Everyone involved tonight is going to get written up" Holt said
"Ok" Jake said stepping forward. "Fine. Here's everyone who was there. Jake Peralta. J Peralta. Dr. Jacob Peralta who has a degree in slow-jam studies from funk town state University. Also involved was The Right Honourable J-"
"That's enough" Holt said
"Point being. It was a Peralta special Sir. No one else was there." Jake said. Rosa felt her heart warm. He was sweet and kind when he wanted to be
"Well Detective. I'm happy to see you're learning how to be a part of a team" Holt said "Everyone go home. Sleep it off" He said, and without further ado, they walked home. Jake going back with Rosa.
"Sorry we didn't get the collar" She said that night in bed.
"Shit I know. But one day we'll come up with a way to get him back" Jake said
"I have a plan. Next time he comes. We'll set up ways to block him. One of us can meet him outside and spill coffee on him. I can meet him on the stairs and flirt" She said. Jake raised an eyebrow at her. "One can... I don't know set off a smoke grenade... And worst-case scenario. Scully can have a heart attack and crush him" Rosa said
"That's actually not a bad idea. And we call call it... Operation Leaving The Next" JAke said
"I was thinking Operation Broken Feather" Rosa said
"Oh that's much better" Jake complimented
"Still wihs there was a way we could get him back. Sooner" Jake said
"Well. What is something that he likes?" Rosa asked
"Why? I what him to hate it" Jake said
"I know. We find something he likes, then ruin it" Rosa said
"Oh ok. Well then... Stealing cases? Killing puppies? Oh! Slapping my big white ass" Jake said
"Ok. The puppy's thing is just cruel. But Broken Feather can take down the solving cases thing. But how about you; paper-Mache your ass and send it to him?" She asked.
"Not a bad shout" Jake said. Googling how to make paper-Mache.