Chapter 3: I'm Trying To
Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who, it belongs to BBC
Wager- Felix Riebl
I don't want to wager,
No I don't want to wait for your promises to keep.
I don't want to save you,
I don't want to save you tonight.
It ain't open.
Tonight it ain't free.
I don't want to wager,
I don't want to wager,
No I don't want to for your words to come from me.
I don't want to stay here,
I don't want to stay here no more.
Kittredge woke up thanks to the harsh day light. She groaned and rubbed her eyes. Her back was killing her. For a while she didn't remember where she was or what had happened. That was until she turned over on to her side and ended up falling off the bench, landing on the hard ground. Suddenly everything about the previous day came back to her. She sat up quickly and blinked rapidly from the strong sun.
It looked to be early morning and only a small number of people were out. Still, each of them passed her and gave her strange looks. She ran her hand through her hair. She knew she probably looked like a mess. She took the hair tie that was on her wrist and tied her hair back into a high ponytail.
She stood up slowly. She knew she still had to find that arm but a part of her, a much darker part of her that she tried to keep buried away, didn't want to find the arm. She was mad, she knew it was wrong and a bit petty but she was still mad at her Doctor. Before she ended up in the past, the two of them had been arguing. They argued a lot but usually it was small augments that could be resolved in a couple of minutes but every once in a while, they would have one that would last days. Yet, even those were no match for their argument they had recently.
"That stupid rule! What has it ever done for you?" She yelled at him. They had been arguing with each other for hours and still were not getting anywhere.
"It keeps people safe!" The Doctor yelled back. "It keeps you safe!"
"Really? Really!? Then where are all your other comparisons before me! Did your lying keep them safe?!" Kittredge knew that she hit a sore spot for the Doctor but at this point she didn't care. "Because I did not feel safe!"
"You don't know what you're talking about!" He shouted at her darkly.
"I think I do and I think you know I do too!" She retorted, not backing down.
"No, you don't understand. You don't understand why I made this rule. You don't understand what I've been through!" He snapped.
"Fine, you're right about that, I don't understand what you've been through but God damnit, Doctor, I don't want to be lied to. I can't do this if you're going to keep lying to me! How the hell am I supposed to believe anything you say? I can't live like that, wondering and hoping that you're not going to trick me!" She yelled. "Why can't you get rid of the rule, at least for me?!"
"This rule stays and if you don't like it then maybe you should leave!" The Doctor roared suddenly.
No one spoke for a while, too shocked at what had just played out.
"You're right," Kittredge spoke softly.
"What?"
"I said you're right!" She snapped. "Maybe I should leave!"
"Kit, please, I didn't mean it, please listen-"
"No, you did mean it and I meant what I said too, I can't live like this, Doctor. I can't keep doing this, never knowing what's going through your head. Never knowing if what your saying is real or not. I can't deal with you justifying your actions by just saying 'rule number one; the Doctor lies'. So, just take me back to earth," she whispered.
"Please, think rationally here," he pleaded.
"I said take me back!" She shouted.
"Fine I'll take you back! What do you know anyways, you're just a child!" He bellowed. "Just a stupid human child!"
Kittredge was crying now and all she could manage to get out was, "I hate you!"
Kit shut her eyes. After she said that they were attacked and they didn't have time to finish their conversation. It was probably a good thing because she wasn't sure how it would have ended. She didn't hate the Doctor. She was mad at him, sure, but she didn't mean the words she said. Now she couldn't even tell him she was sorry. She shook her head and pushed those dark thoughts out of her mind. She didn't hate the Doctor and she was going to save him no matter what.
She took her sonic out of her pocket and went back to finding the arm. The energy signal that the arm gave off led her to an apartment complex. It was definitely in a more rundown area and Kit guessed that Rose probably lived in one of those apartments.
Her sonic led her to an apartment that looked like all the other. She was about to knock when she realized she wasn't sure what she was going to say. Sorry for disturbing you at like eight in the morning but do you have a loose arm made of plastic wondering around. Kit shook her head. Yeah, probably won't be my best idea, she thought. Well, better do what I always do and wing it.
Kittredge put her sonic back in her pocket and knocked on the door. She waited for about five seconds before the door swung open.
"You again?" Hissed Rose once she saw Kit. "What are you doing here?"
"Um well, you see, I just thought that since we both experienced the same thing that maybe we should, um, stick together," Kit suggested with a smile.
"How did you even know where to find me?" Rose asked.
"I just… asked around?" She replied wincing at how bad that sounded.
Rose was about to answer when a voice from inside the house spoke. "Who's that, Rose?"
An older woman who looked a lot like Rose came to the door way.
"No one, mum, just someone that was with me when the shop exploded," Rose responded.
"Well invite her in, Rose. Look at her, she's a mess." Kit frowned. She though she didn't look that bad but according to Rose's mother, she did. "The girl is probably in shock like you," she commented.
"Mum, I'm not in shock and neither is she," Rose insisted but her mother wasn't paying attention and instead pulled Kit inside.
"Now let's talk about compensation. You two deserve it after that traumatic event," she stated as she pulled her down into a chair at a table.
"Um," was the only thing Kit could get out. This women was definitely a character.
"Mum, leave her alone," Rose grumbled shutting the door. "She doesn't care, no one does."
"Oh this ones been a grump all morning," she told Kit.
Rose just rolled her eyes and her mother went into the kitchen. Kit wasn't sure what she just got herself into.
"How would you like your coffee?" Rose mom asked suddenly.
"What?"
"Your coffee, how do you like it? I would normally make tea but you look like you could use a coffee," she replied.
Kit nodded because honestly she really did need a coffee. "Um, just black, thanks."
She nodded and went back into the kitchen. Since her mom was gone Kit decided it was the best time to ask Rose about the arm.
"So, Rose, how you doing?" Kit asked, starting simply.
"Seriously? What do you think?" She sneered, sitting down across from her.
Kit shrugged. "I don't know, you tell me."
Rose sighed in defeat, anger seemed to disappear. "Tired, confused, questioning how you're so calm about all this," Rose told her.
"Believe me Rose, I am far from calm," she replied. "So, um, what did you do with that plastic arm?" She pretended to joke.
"Oh, my boyfriend threw it away," She told her in a bored tone of voice.
"Oh, really, that's cool," Kit said tightly.
It didn't make any sense to her. If Rose boyfriend throw it out, then why did her sonic still lead her to this house.
Before she could say more, the older blond walked out of the kitchen and placed a cup of coffee in front of her. "There you go, sweetheart," she smiled.
Kit mumbled a thanks and sipped her coffee still thinking about the arm. Rose mom went back into the kitchen.
"There's Finch's," she spoke through the little kitchen window pulling Kit out of her thoughts. "You could try them. They've always got jobs." She came out of the kitchen and sat with the two of them.
"Oh great. The butchers," Rose said sarcastically.
"Well, it might do you good. That shop was giving you airs and graces," she commented then turned to Kit. "Did you work at the shop as well, um…?"
"Kittredge."
"Lovely name," she said sweetly. "Did you work there too, Kittredge? Because you know I could get you a job at Finch's too," she offered.
"No, just a costumer and thank you for the offer but I have a sort of… apprenticeship with someone," Kit told her.
"An apprenticeship? Look, Rose, Kittredge is an apprentice and only at the age of—how old are you?" She asked.
"T-twelve." Kit hesitated but no one seemed to notice.
She wasn't actually sure how old she was. She had lived on the Tardis the majority of her life and seeing as there was no such thing as time on the Tardis it made it hard for her to know exactly how old she was. Twelve was her best guess, but for all she knew she was older or younger then that.
"And so young!" she smiled.
"Well, it's only sort of an apprenticeship," Kit tried but Rose mom wasn't listening anymore.
Sometimes with the Doctor it could feel like she was apprenticing him, teaching her thing, making her learn all about the universe. So she wasn't totally lying to them. Still, she knew that she could never take the mantle of the Doctor but sometime she thought that the Doctor wished she could.
Rose glared at Kit. "I get it, mum," she snapped.
Kit winced. She wasn't making a good impression on Rose so far.
"I still think you deserve compensation," Rose mom changed the subject. "You two had genuine shock and trauma," She stood up and was about to leave when she turned around. "Arianna got two thousand quid off the council just because the old man behind the desk said she looked Greek!" She walked a few feet then turned around again. "I know she is Greek, but that's not the point. It was a valid claim," she insisted then walked into a room.
"What?" Kit mumbled to herself. Even Rose looked a bit confused by what her mom said. Kit was starting to think this woman might be crazy or at least knew crazy people.
Kit was about to ask Rose who Arianne was and if she suffered from insanity when she heard a strange noise. It kind of sounded like an animal running to her.
Rose must have heard it too because she turned and got up, shouting, "Mum, you're such a liar." She started moving towards the front door so Kit decided to follow. "I told you to nail that cat flap down. We're going to get strays," she snapped and knelt down to look at the cat flap.
Kit knelt down with her and picked up a screw that was on the floor just as Rose's mom told them that she did it weeks ago.
"I don't think it was any kind of animal," Kit told her, showing Rose the screw.
"Raccoons?" Rose suggested.
"Raccoons are smart but not that smart," Kit insisted. She had a feeling it was the arm that was causing her so much trouble.
Just then the flap moved and they both jumped back. Rose looked at Kit, eyes wide, and then turned back to the flap. Rose moved her hand slowly to the flap and Kit gripped her sonic that was in her pocket, ready to do whatever she had to do. Rose pushed the flap a tiny bit. Kit held her breathe. Rose pushed it fully open to reveal, not the arm but the Doctor.
Kit and Rose both jumped up and Rose opened the door.
"What are you two doing here?" He questioned looking from one to the other.
"I live here," Rose said in disbelief and slight anger. "And I'm still not sure why she's here," she told him pointing to Kit.
"Just came here for a visit," Kit insisted.
"Well, what do you do that for?" He asked Rose.
"Because I do," Rose replied. "I'm only at home because someone blew up my job," she pointed out as the Doctor rummaged through his inside jacket pocket.
He pulled out his sonic and looked at it in confusion. "I must have got the wrong signal," he muttered. He turned towards both of them. "You two aren't plastic, are you?" He questioned them and then knocked on their foreheads.
"Hey!" Kit yelled rubbing her forehead.
"No, boneheaded," he smiled at his joke.
"I'm not boneheaded!" Kit snapped. The sudden image of her Doctor calling her a stupid human child popped into her head. Her throat tightened and her eyes stung.
"Er, sorry, never mind," his smiled fated, noticing Kit's reaction. "Well, got to go anyway, bye," he waved and was about the leave when Rose stopped him.
"You. Inside. Right now," she ordered pulling him into her flat.
"Who's it this time?" Kit heard Rose mom ask from off in the distance.
Rose left and went to the room her mom was in. The Doctor looked around and then looked at Kit. He shrugged like he was saying I have no idea what just happened. Kit sighed, her previous anger disappearing. She shrugged back at him, saying me neither. He smiled at her.
They saw Rose move down the hall and they followed her. The Doctor and Kit were about to go past the room where Rose mother was in when she stopped the Doctor. "Those two deserve compensation," She pushed.
"Oh, we're talking millions," he said professionally and then grinned down at Kit questioningly.
Kit shook her head and mouthed: Don't ask.
Rose mom stood up. "I'm in my dressing gown," she smiled.
"Yes, you are," the Doctor stated.
Kit eyes widened seeing where this was going. She wasn't sure if she should laugh or gag. Either way, she didn't want to be around to see where this would go. She moved around the Doctor and headed towards Rose.
Rose was in the living room organizing the messy room. "Do you know him?" Rose asked suddenly.
"What?" Kit choked out.
"You both came out of nowhere at the same time and now both came to my house for weird reasons. I just thought, maybe, you two knew each other or you know him or something," Rose told her.
Kit tried hard not to let her jaw drop. This girl was definitely smarter then she looked.
"Um, no, just one of those w-weird coincidence probably," she stuttered.
"And what you said to the dummies before the Doctor came? What was that about?" Rose kept questioning.
"I-I didn't want to die. I just said whatever sounded most threatening," Kit tried.
"Right," Rose said slowly.
Rose looked passed Kit and moved around her. Kit turned around and noticed the Doctor coming into the room.
"Don't mind the mess. Do you want a coffee?" Rose asked, walking to the kitchen.
The Doctor walked towards Kit. "Might as well, thanks. Just milk," he told Rose. The Doctor stared at Kit curiously as Rose babbled on about calling the cops. "So what are you doing here?" He questioned.
Kit gulped. "I told you, just came for a visit. I wanted to see if Rose was alright," she lied grabbing a magazine off the coffee table.
"And are you alright?" He asked, watching her carefully.
Kit paused and looked up from the magazine she was looking at. Kit searched his face. He definitely didn't look like her Doctor and although his personality reminded her of her first Doctor, it still was very different. Yet, when Kit stared into his eyes, they were exactly the same as all her Doctors she ever had.
"I… don't know," she whispered.
He simply nodded, seeming satisfied with her answer. He then went passed her and picked up an envelope on the coffee table.
"Rose Tyler," he read then looked back at Kit. "What was your name again?" He asked.
"Kittredge," she answered. "But you can call me Kit."
"Kittredge who?"
"Doctor who?" She retorted.
In truth, she didn't have a last name or, at least, she did at some point but it died along with her parents.
He narrowed his eyes. "Dangerous question," he warned.
Kit smiled sadly. "Nothing wrong with a little danger," she replied quietly.
They stared at each other for what felt like forever, both deep in thought. Kit finally broke eye contact when she heard the cat flap rattling. She inhaled sharply. She forgot about the arm!
The Doctor must have heard it too because he moved towards the couch. "What's that, then?" He asked going on the couch. "You got a cat?"
"No," Rose replied.
All of a sudden, the arm Kit had been looking for, jumped out from behind the couch and grabbed onto the Doctors throat.
"Shit!" Kit yelled trying to yank the arm off the Doctor. "Come on you stupid arm! Let. Go!"
She tugged and tugged but the arm wouldn't budge. The Doctors face was now turning bright red. She had one job: make sure the Doctor didn't die and she was already failing miserably.
Rose finally came out of the kitchen carrying two cups of coffee but seemed to not notice what was going on.
She rolled her eyes. "I told Mickey to chuck that out. I don't know why you all insist on playing with that thing, quit pretending," she grumbled. "Look, I don't even know your name. Doctor, what was it?" Rose asked calmly.
"Rose!" Kit snapped. "No one's pretending! Now help me!"
Just as she said that she finally got the arm off the Doctor. She stumbled backwards and fell, letting go of the arm. The arm hovered in the air for a second and then went straight for Rose, grabbing onto her face. The Doctor and Kit looked at each other, wide eyed, and then jumped up to help Rose.
Kit watched as the Doctor tugged on the arm trying to get it off Roses face. He tugged until he stumbled backwards onto the glass coffee table, bring Rose with him. It shattered but the arm didn't move. Rose moved onto the couch still trying to get the arm off. Kit moved towards Rose and tried to help. She managed to get it off Rose but struggled as it tried to attach to her.
Kit saw the Doctor take out his sonic screwdriver. He came towards the arm and tried to use his sonic but he seemed to have trouble.
"Hurry! Hurry!" Kit yelled franticly. She could feel her arms giving out.
He finally put his sonic to the arm and it stopped moving. Kit let out a sigh of relief.
"It's all right, I've stopped it," the Doctor grinned.
"Took your sweet time, didn't you?" Kit grumbled getting up. She was not having a very good day.
The Doctor frowned. "Well at least I did stop it," he countered. "Now it's harmless," he told her tossing the arm to Kit.
"Is it?" She questioned then hit the Doctor with it.
"Ow," he cringed. "Violent."
Kit grinned while the Doctor shook his head at her. He grabbed the arm back from Kit and then got up.
"Well this was fun but I must be going. Thanks for your help," he told them and then started for the door.
Kit and Rose stared at each other and then back at the Doctor as he left the apartment. They chased after him. They caught up to him as he started down the stairs.
"Hold on a minute. You can't just go swanning off," Rose argued as they ran down the stairs.
"Yes I can. Here I am. This is me, swanning off. See you," he told them.
"But that arm was moving. It tried to kill us!" Rose hissed.
Kit came to his side. "What are you going to do with that arm anyway?" she asked curiously.
"Oh nothing you would understand," the Doctor replied.
Kit seriously doubted that. She knew thing, things that most humans didn't know thanks to her Doctor.
"Look, you can't just walk away," Rose argued. "That's not fair. You've got to tell me what's going on."
"No. I don't," the Doctor put simply.
They walked down the rest of the stairs then exited the building.
"All right, then. I'll go to the police," Rose threatened. "I'll tell everyone. You said, if I did that, I'd get people killed. So, your choice. Tell me, or I'll start talking."
The Doctor looked at Rose with amusement in his eyes. "Is that supposed to sound tough?"
"Sort of," she replied weakly.
He grinned. "Doesn't work."
Rose paused. "Who are you?"
"Told you. The Doctor," he answered walking a bit faster.
"Yeah, but Doctor what?"
"Just the Doctor."
"The Doctor."
"Hello!" The Doctor waved happily.
Kit just laughed slightly to herself and shook her head. This Doctor was definitely interesting.
"Is that supposed to sound impressive?" Rose asked.
"Sort of," he replied.
Rose skipped to catch up. "Come on, then. You can tell me," she begged. "I've seen enough." She paused. "Are you the police?"
"No, I was just passing through. I'm a long way from home," he replied and then looked at Kit. "You're a long way from home too," he pointed out.
Kit was so taken aback from his comment that she tripped and almost fell. A million question ran through her head. How did he know? How did he figure it out so fast? What was he going to do about it?
"What do you mean?" Kit asked tightly.
"You accent, are you from North America?" He questioned.
Kit relaxed a little. "Oh… yeah," she responded. "I moved here not too long ago," she lied.
Kit did live in North America before she met the Doctor when she was five. Still, she hadn't gone back since she left with the Doctor. It simply held too many bad memories.
"I've been meaning to visit again. I haven't been there since the 80s," he told her happily.
The Doctor smiled down at her and she forced a smile back.
Rose grabbed his arm to get his attention. "But what have I done wrong? How comes those plastic things keep coming after me?" She asked.
"Coming after you?" Kit questioned. "You're not the only person that got attacked by those things."
"It tried to kill me," Rose argued.
"Yeah, and me and the Doctor," Kit retorted.
"Kit's right," the Doctor interrupted. "It was actually after me, not you two. Last night, in the shop, I was there, you two blundered in, almost ruined the whole thing," the Doctor told them.
Kit glared at him and crossed her arms. "And how were we supposed to know you were planning on blowing up the shop?" Kit snapped.
The Doctor just waved her off. "This morning, I was tracking it down, it was tracking me down. The only reason it fixed on you is 'cos you've met me," he insisted.
"Well, how do you know?" Rose pushed. "Kit was at the shop last night and this morning the arm came after she came to my house. How do you know it wasn't after her?" Rose questioned.
The Doctor stared at Kit for a moment looking deep in thought. Kit tensed.
"Nah, it was after me," he concluded. Kit let herself relax.
"Okay, but all this plastic stuff. Who else knows about it?" Rose asked.
He paused and he's smile fated. "No one."
"What, you're on your own?"
"Well, who else is there?"
Kit bit the inside of her cheek and looked away from them.
"I'm sorry for stealing your screwdriver," the five-year-old apologized, giving the man in front of her back his funny looking screwdriver.
The man looked down at her. "Thank you," he said simply.
"Are you going to save to world now?" She asked.
"I don't know," he whispered.
"Please."
He shook his head. "I can't do it alone," he said sadly.
"You're alone?" She asked.
"Yes," he stated quietly.
"Me too," she told him. She looked down at her hands then back up at the man. "I could help and then you won't be alone and you can save the world," she smiled.
He smiled back. "What's your name?"
"Kittredge."
"You're very brave, Kittredge."
"Will you save the world now?"
"As long as I'm not alone, Kittredge," he answered sticking out his hand for her to take.
"Don't worry I won't leave you alone," Kittredge beamed taking his hand.
He smiled sadly at her. "I'm the Doctor by the way."
"Doctor who?"
Kit hugged herself. "I'm sorry," she whispered.
She could feel the Doctors eyes on her. "Doesn't matter, I mean, you lot, all you do is eat chips, go to bed, and watch telly, while all the time, underneath you, there's a war going on," he told them but Kit wasn't really paying attention anymore.
Kit was now trailing behind them as the Doctor and Rose talked about the living plastic. This Doctor looked so alone now that she really looked at him. He looked a lot like how her first Doctor looked when she first met him. He was sad yet masked it with jokes and smiles but she could see that he was actually very alone. She wondered how long this Doctor had been alone for. She hoped not very long, she knew how badly he was at being by himself.
She kept walking not really sure where she was going now or if she was still following the Doctor or Rose. All she could think about was her Doctor and this one in front of her. Her thoughts were finally interrupted when she crashed into Rose who had stopped abruptly in front of her. She stumbled backwards and looked up to see the Doctor walking towards the Tardis.
"Really, though, Doctor. Tell me, who are you?" Rose asked and Kit wondered what she missed.
The Doctor turned around and looked at both of them for a second and then smiled. "Do you know like we were saying about the Earth revolving?" He asked, his eye becoming distant as he walked towards them. "It's like when you were a kid. The first time they tell you the world's turning and you just can't quite believe it because everything looks like its standing still. I can feel it," he told them then grabbed both their hands.
Kit looked down. His hand felt so similar to all her Doctors and she thought that if she closed her eyes then she could pretend it was her Doctor.
"The turn of the Earth. The ground beneath our feet is spinning at a thousand miles an hour, and the entire planet is hurtling around the sun at sixty-seven thousand miles an hour, and I can feel it," he continued, looking off in the distance. "We're falling through space, you and me, clinging to the skin of this tiny little world, and if we let go," he paused, letting go of their hands. "That's who I am. Now, forget me, Rose Tyler." He then looked at Kit. "You should forget me," he pushed. "Go home," he said waving the plastic arm.
He then walked away from them. Kit wanted to yell at him that he was too impossible for her to forget but instead she just stood there. The Tardis was right; this was a very important time in the Doctors life.
Rose started to walk away slowly but Kit watched. She watched as the Doctor walked into the Tardis and she watched as the Tardis slowly started to disappear but she still didn't move.
Go home, the Doctors words echoed in her head.
"I'm trying to."
So you guys didn't have to wait too long for chapter 3. Like I've said before, I have a lot already written so hopefully you guys won't have to wait very long for these chapters. Anyways, if you guys haven't noticed, the relationship between Rose and Kit is a little rocky. When I started writing this I thought it would be too easy to make them BFFs right away. I wanted to give this relationship time to grow and I thought it would make things a little more interesting. Hopefully, Rose isn't OOC. Thanks for reading and don't forget to review!