My Ending, Your Start

by DoctorRed4

One minute Kittredge was with the Doctor traveling through time and space and the next, she was being thrust into the past. All she wants is to get back to her Doctor and her time but the universe and the Tardis have other plans. To save the Doctors life, she must travel throughout the Doctor's past. But will she be able to save the Doctor? Or will her future be doomed? Season 1 AU

40. Thunder Roars

Chapter 40: Thunder Roars

A/N- I'm back with a pretty long chapter for you guys. It goes more in-depth into Kittredge and her past.

Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who, it belongs to BBC

Bad Man- Esterly

My eyes

Are blind

I can't seem to tell me

What I need to get right

Your eyes

They can't seem to understand

What I've realized

Realize

This isn't just a dream

Stuck on a bad repeat

Fightin' the air to breathe

You can't touch me now

Night had fallen when they finally got back to the Tardis with Margaret in tow. She wouldn't shut up about her death and what that meant for them. Kit was almost ready to go crazy. She was getting very annoyed and she was starting to notice that her words were having an impact on the Doctor. She wasn't surprised though. This was hitting pretty close to home for him. It was probably reminding him of the Time War.

The only time Margaret finally shut up was when they got inside the Tardis. Like everyone who steps in the ship, she was amazed by how the Tardis was bigger on the inside. Nobody really paid attention to her ramblings about it. Instead, the Doctor and Jack got to work on the device Margaret had. They were hoping they could get some fuel out of it.

"This ship is impossible," Margaret said for what felt like the hundredth time. "It's superb. How do you get the outside around the inside?"

"Like I'd give you the secret, yeah," the Doctor scolded.

She started walking around the console touching the controls. Kit had to fight the urge to slap her hand away. She didn't like Margaret's hands being all over the Tardis. It made her feel uneasy.

"I almost feel better about being defeated. I never stood a chance. This is the technology of the gods," she kept going with a sly smile. Everything about her seemed fake to Kit. The way she acted, the way she spoke, the way she walked. She hated every minute of watching her.

The Doctor glanced up at her. "Don't worship me - I'd make a very bad god. You wouldn't get a day off, for starters." Even though it was a joke, there was a hidden meaning in those words. They said 'I'm not your saviour. I don't get to choose if you live or die.' The Doctor looked down at Jack who was still wiring up the device to the Tardis. "Jack, how we doing, big fella?"

"This extrapolator's top of the range. Where did you get it?" He asked Margaret.

She shrugged and Kit knew she was going to hear another lie come out of her mouth. "Oh, I don't know. Some airlock sale?"

Jack narrowed his eyes on her. "Must've been a great big heist." He looked up at the Doctor. "It's stacked with power."

"But we can use it for fuel?" He questioned.

"It's not compatible, but it should knock off about twelve hours. We'll be ready to go by morning," Jack explained.

"Then we're stuck here overnight," the Doctor announced.

"Great," Kit muttered. "Doubt I'll be getting any sleep tonight."

"Why?" Margaret snapped her head to her. "The guilt of me being sent to my death will keep you up?"

Kit sneered. "No. The constant nagging you're doing will keep me up."

Kit was so done with this alien. She had never met one so annoying. She swore if Margaret said one more thing to her then she was going to snap.

Margaret just gave her a sickly-sweet smile. "Maybe you should think about putting a muzzle of this pet of yours, Doctor. Or a leash maybe? I can tell she's an aggressive type of dog."

There it was. The thing that broke the camels back. She could feel her heartbeat quicken and her breath coming out short. If Kit held any sympathy for this creature, then it was out the window with that comment.

She took an angry step forward. "You know what? I can't wait till we get to your planet and—"

She felt a hand grab her arm. "Kittredge, don't listen to her. She's just trying to rile you up," Rose told her softly.

She relaxed slightly and turned to Rose. "I know. She's just pissing me off," she said with a glare towards Margaret.

"If it makes you feel better, her being here means we have a prisoner and that means the police box is really a police box," Rose said excitedly.

Kit smile. It did make her feel weirdly better. "Never thought I'd see the day."

"You're not just police, though," Margaret's voice snapped Kit back into her bad mood. She stalked towards them. "Since you're taking me to my death, that makes you my executioners. Each and every one of you."

"Well, you deserve it," Mickey voiced Kit's thoughts.

Margaret mocked hurt. "You're very quick to say so. You're very quick to soak your hands in my blood, which makes you better than me, how, exactly?" Mickey didn't say anything. Margaret gave them a sly smile. "Long night ahead." She walked to the captain's chair and sat down. "Let's see who can look me in the eye."

She looked at Mickey first who tried to hold her gaze but eventually looked away. She went to Rose next who looked away immediately. The Doctor only spared her a glance before going back to the task he was doing. Jack didn't even look at all and pretended to be focused on work. Lastly, Margaret looked at her.

Kit held her gaze without even flinching. Why should she? She's been with the Doctor for a very long time. They've lost people. They've made mistakes that have cost people their lives. She's done something that she wasn't proud of. Dark thoughts started to resurface but instead of pushing them away like she usually does, she let it consume her.

"Try me," Kit challenged, and then before she could stop herself she said, "Like you're the first blood I've had on my hands."

Margaret glared at her. "Oh right. I forgot that you murdered one of my family members. By yourself. In cold blood."

Kit's jaw tightened. She forgot about that but then again, he was trying to kill the Doctor. He was trying to make sure everyone would die. He was trying to kill her! So, it was the only thing she could do… right? And all the other blood on her hands were justified as well… right? She couldn't remember.

As the dark thoughts started swirling around in her head so did her memories. They played like a broken record. On and on but never playing right. She used to tell herself that there was a good reason for all that she and the Doctor did. He would tell her the same. And she would forget certain parts but those parts were coming back. Over and over again. And they hit her over and over again.

And suddenly she looked away from Margaret and down at her shoes.

...

The Doctor had just regenerated and changed his face once again on her. That was what she remembered for absolute certainty. She also remembered that she was ten. Ten and, at that moment, alone. The Doctor had passed out after regenerating and the Tardis was spinning out of control.

The Tardis jerked sharply and Kittredge crashed into the railing. She grunted as her ribs collided with the metal bar. She fell to the ground as the wind was knocked out of her. She struggled to get up as the Tardis continued to jerk around. She grabbed onto the railing and pulled herself up slowly. She looked around for the Doctors body and found him still lying on the ground being wiped around by the Tardis.

There was a frantic beeping sound coming from the console that caught her attention. She pushed herself off the railing and over to the console as best as she could. Every step was a challenge and her ribs were screaming at her but she finally made it to her destination.

The beeping was coming from the T.V monitor. She looked at the image that the Tardis was showing her and her eyes widened. On the screen showed what was happening outside the Tardis and what was happening was not good. The Tardis was speeding towards what looked like a ship and the Tardis wasn't stopping. She knew that the Tardis could survive the hit but she doubted the other ship could survive the impact of the Tardis. They were going to hit it head-on like a bullet to a bullseye.

"Can't you stop?!" She yelled at the Tardis.

The console sparked and smoke started coming out of it. The answer was clear. No. The console sparked again and this time the console started going up in flames. Kittredge's eyes widened in complete shock. She looked around the control room. The whole place was falling apart and going up in flames. Her home was going up in flames. She coughed violently from the smoke slipping into her lungs. She looked back at the monitor and then at the still unconscious body of the Doctor. She didn't know what to do. She was panicking.

The monitor started beeping again and Kittredge looked at it only to see that they were only a mere couple feet away from the ship. The only thing she could do now was to hold onto the railing and brace for impact. She leaped towards it and gripped on as tightly as she could. She closed her eyes tightly and tucked her head between her arm.

There was a loud explosion that was so intense that it made her ears ring. She thought for sure that it originated from the inside of the Tardis but when she opened her eyes, she saw that the Tardis was still in the same state as before. She realized the explosion came from outside the Tardis and was probably damage from the other ship.

There was another explosion but this one shook the Tardis so violently that it threw her to the ground. She hit her head hard on the floor causing black dots to form in her vision. She tried to get up but some of the round things that were all over the wall started to pop and explode. She was close enough to one that when it erupted, it threw her back and into a wall. For the second time that day, she had the wind knocked out of her. Her body was feeling heavy now and her vision kept going dark. She was in pain. She could feel the intense heat from the fires that were building in the Tardis against her skin. She knew she needed to get up and get away from the fire but her head felt like it was stuffed with cotton. She lifted her head and a wave of dizziness hit her. She got to her knees and took her head in her hands.

Just as she was about to get up, the Tardis suddenly jerked to a stop causing her to tumble to the doors. Her body hit the doors hard and they opened from the great push. She started to fall but before she could plummet fully out of the Tardis, she gripped onto the edge. She was very glad at that moment that the Tardis still had its force field around it so that she could breathe. It was only a small victory because she was still stuck hanging from the edge of the Tardis.

She started to pull herself up but stopped when she realized what had stopped the Tardis in the first place. She looked around and saw some sort of bright light surrounding the Tardis. She figured it was some sort of tractor beam or something keeping them in place. Her suspicions were proven correct when the Tardis slowly moved backward. Someone was pulling them in.

With the last bit of strength she had left, she managed to pull herself back inside the Tardis. She quickly shut the door, not being sure if whoever was pulling them in was friend or foe. She groaned in pain as she slowly got up from the ground. Her body ached and her head felt heavy. She looked around for the Doctor and found him close to one of the fires. She cursed and stumbled her way to him. Once she made it, she took his arms and dragged him away to somewhere safe. She grunted as she dragged him. This Doctor was heavier than her last. The quickest and safest place she could take him was all the way outside the control room and into the corridor.

She dragged him as far as she could before she stopped and dropped to the ground. She couldn't take him anywhere else. She was exhausted and most of her strength went to trying not to fall out of the Tardis. Kittredge sighed and watched the Doctor breathe in and out slowly. Why did he have to change again? She thought to herself. She looked over this new body. It was so different from the last and she knew she would have to get used to a new personality too. She took off her jacket and put it under the Doctors head. She really wanted this day to end.

Just as that thought came, a loud knocking came from the door. It echoed around her and clearly had a vibe that meant business. She knew it had to be from the people who were pulling them in. She stayed still. She had no idea who or what was out there and what their intentions were. She hoped that they would just give up and send them back out into space where she could peacefully wait for the Doctor to wake up by taking a nap herself. Another loud knock came though and this one more aggressive.

She closed her eyes tightly and groaned. She stood up with great pain and made her way over to the destroyed control room. She went over to the console which was in ruins but the fire was at least sustained. She looked over to the monitor which had three large cracks in it but somehow was still working. It was still showing her what was outside the Tardis. What she saw though, she didn't expect. The Tardis was in a large white room with a large observation window in the back and an enormous computer beside it. On the screen were also about a dozen very tall creatures in all black armor. They also had big helmets indicating to her that they must have big heads. What made her nervous though was the fact that they were carrying very large guns that were pointed at the Tardis.

One of the creatures knocked once again. "blo mo co jo!" It yelled with authority.

Kittredge raised her eyebrow in question for a couple of different reasons. One was because the language was completely ridiculous. The other reason was the fact that the Tardis wasn't translating the language into English. This wasn't good news. It meant the Tardis was down for the count just like the Doctor. She sighed. She was even more alone then she thought.

"Jo do bo mo!" One of the creatures yelled again.

Kittredge looked at the screen carefully and froze when she saw that they now had a battering ram. Her eyes widened. She knew that the Tardis could keep out anything but with the Tardis being down she had no idea if it still would or if it would simply become a wooden door. She bit her lip. She didn't know what to do! If they came in then they would have access to the Tardis and the technology, not to mention the Doctor. She could wait to see if the door holds up and wait it out until the Doctor woke up but that was risky. If she went out before they barged in, then maybe she could somehow communicate with them and explain that she meant no harm. How she was going to do that though, she was unsure.

She weighed her options carefully until she saw that the creatures were getting ready to break open the doors with the ram. She jumped into action and ran to the door. She swung them open just as the ram was about to hit the door.

"Wait! Stop!" She yelled frantically, waving her hands like a crazy woman. She closed the door behind her and quickly took her Tardis key out, locking the door. She turned back to the creatures who were still pointing large guns at her. She gulped. "Whatever you want or need, I can help." She tried her best at doing what the Doctor always does. She hoped she could at least buy herself some time to think up a plan to get out of this or stall enough so the Doctor could wake up.

The creatures looked at one another than one of them took out some sort of gun from its pocket and pointed it at her. It pulled the trigger and Kittredge closed her eyes waiting for the pain. She thought for sure she was dead. That she completely messed up and was now going to pay for it. The pain never came though. She opened her eyes to see the creatures still staring at her. The gun was still pointed at her.

She tilted her head curiously. "What're you doing?"

"What're you doing?" The weapon or not-weapon repeated. The creature took the not-weapon and plugged it into its black armor.

The creature nodded to the rest of them. "Language assimilated. Designation Earth English." The creature then turned back to her. "You are under arrest."

"Under arrest?" Kittredge said in confusion. "Under what authority? Why? Who are you guys?" She kept asking being more confused than before. She had to look at the positive though. Even if she was getting arrested, at least she wasn't dead.

The creatures suddenly started to take off their helmets. Kittredge was not prepared for what was under those helmets. Under them were giant rhino heads with mean looking faces. Rhinos… in space? She thought to herself in complete bemusement.

"We are the Judoon. We are intergalactic police force working with the Galactic council and under the Alliance to uphold galactic law," one of them told her. "And under the Shadow Proclamation, you are under arrest."

Kittredge bit her lip. She's never heard of the Judoon which surprised her. If they were intergalactic police, she thought she would run into them at some point seeing as the Doctor gets into a lot of trouble. She had, though, heard of the Shadow Proclamation. The Doctor had mentioned it a couple of times.

"Why? I didn't do anything!" She countered.

She could see the Judoon looking quite annoyed with her. "You destroyed a galactic police ship and killed hundreds of Judoon." It nodded to a giant observation window across from them. Outside was the remains of the ship they had crashed into.

Kit winced. She felt sick. "I—I had no way to stop my ship. It was out of control! There was nothing I could do. I'm sorry. I really am! But this isn't my fault."

But wasn't it? She could have tried more. She knew some basic controls on the console. She could have at least tried to slow it down. She could have done that little bit extra and maybe no one had to get hurt. It was her fault. She shook her head. No, to drive the Tardis, you have to reason with it and it couldn't be reasoned with if it was out cold like the Doctor. There was nothing she could do.

"That matters not to us. You have broken a law and therefore, you must face the consequences," they agued. They didn't seem to care about her explanations. To them it seemed very simple, she broke a law so she needed to be punished. They seemed like the kind that punched first, asked questions later.

Kittredge gulped. "And what're the consequences?"

"Death."

"Death!?" She yelled in shock.

It nodded. "Yes. Under Shadow Proclamation convention 20, any and all physical assault towards the Judoon will result in the death penalty without trail."

Kittredge's eyes widened in shock. "Without a trial? How is that fair!?"

"The law is fair. The law is just," it said. "Take her to holding cell while we wait for the executioner."

Kittredge's eyes widened in fear. Oh my God, I'm actually going to die, she thought. She was always in tough situations like this but the Doctor was always with her. He always saved her just in time and she started believing that as long as she was with the Doctor then she could never die. The Doctor wasn't here though.

Before she could be dragged away, a Judoon came bursting into the room. "General! A transmission from the planet below has asked to speak to you," it said to the Judoon that put the cuffs on her.

He didn't look pleased with this and grunted, "Fine, pull it up on the screen."

The other Judoon nodded and went to the computer by the observation window. He pressed a couple of keys on the large keyboard and an image appeared on the screen. It was an image of some sort of alien species that she's never seen before. It was large and lanky, and grey in colour. Its head was small but its neck was stretched and broad. Its face looked as if someone had dropped it on its face as it was squished and distorted looking. Its noise was only two slits in the center of the face and its eyes were sunken in. The mouth was horizontal and had two large horns on either side. It wore a black cloak that covered its body and it wore the hood.

"I-o simply-o came-o here-o to-o talk-o," it spoke, its voice sounded like it was drowning in water. Kittredge was happy to see that the language that was spoken was close to English. That or the Tardis was coming back to life and was slowly trying to translate the language for her. She really hoped it was the later.

The Judoon, that she deemed the one in change, narrowed his eyes. "We-o have-o nothing-o to-o talk-o about-o."

The alien's eyes become desperate. "Please-o! You-o cannot-o do-o this-o, General-o!"

The General shrugged indifferently. "You-o have-o broken-o the-o law-o. This-o is-o how-o it-o must-o be-o."

Kittredge looked between the two aliens. She could feel the tension in the room skyrocket. She wondered what was going on. Clearly, these aliens did something that the Judoon didn't like. It was probably what was happening to her. They probably didn't do anything really that bad. She wondered what was going to happen to them and if they could get out of whatever punishment the Judoon conjured up.

"We-o had-o no-o idea-o when-o we-o came-o to-o this-o planet-o," it pleaded. "We-o are-o simply-o a-o mining-o colony-o. We-o go-o to-o any-o vacant-o planet-o that's-o in-o our-o radar-o."

"You-o mined-o a-o planet-o that-o belongs-o to-o the-o Judoon-o which-o is-o illegal-o," the General retorted.

"And-o we-o have-o told-o you-o that-o once-o our-o ships-o come-o back-o from-o their-o trip-o to-o our-o original-o planet-o, that-o we-o will-o leave-o immediately-o!" it cried.

And-o we-o have-o told-o you-o that-o it-o is-o too-o late-o!" the General barked. "You-o have-o broken-o the-o law-o and-o therefore-o must-o face-o the-o punishment-o."

"But-o the-o children-o too-o?!" Its eyes widened. "They-o have no part in this! They're innocent!"

Kittredge gasped at that moment for two reasons. One, that the alien was now speaking full English which meant the Tardis was up and running. Two, was because the Judoon planned on giving out their punishment to innocent children.

"We do not care for innocence! The law is the law. Break it and you must face the consequences, no matter who you are," the general dictated.

"This is barbaric!"

The general raised his eyebrow in question and slight amusement. "Barbaric? The only barbaric ones, Colonel, is you and your people," he spat in disgust. "The Gordani have gone from barren planet to barren planet feeding off the scraps of the universe. Your race has only survived this long because everyone feels bad for your pathetic race and allows you to have the crumbs of their solar system. Pity, Colonel, that's all it is. The things you do are illegal in most solar systems but people pity you because your original planet is turning to dust. They let you mine for anything worthwhile and let you place your colonies on their barren planets because they feel bad for you but you are nothing more than vermin. The Judoon do not tolerate vermin though, not like other pathetic species. We gave you a chance to leave with our first warning—"

"But we have told you that our ships have left and we can't get off this planet!" The Colonel interjected.

The General shrugged. "That is not our problem." He then glared at the Colonel. "As I said, we don't like vermin and especially vermin who break the law. Your luck has run out, Colonel. It was bound to happen one day. We had hoped that that day was thanks to us."

"But you can't do this!" The Colonel fumed. "You can't destroy the whole planet! At least not with all the women and children on it. Let us at least get them to safety! Please!"

Kittredge's jaw dropped. This wasn't about upholding the law; this was about a vendetta. There was nothing lawful about destroying a whole colony. Nothing justified with killing hundreds of people. This was sick. This was wrong. She couldn't let this happen.

What would the Doctor do? She thought to herself. Save the day of course. She needed to do something fast or this whole colony would be gone.

"Vermin must be eradicated. If you keep the children, then the pests remain. We are simply doing this for the betterment of the universe," he explained nonchalantly.

"You can't do this! You can't—" But the Colonel was cut off when the General turned the screen off.

Kittredge gaped at the General. "They're right! You can't do this! There is nothing just about this. This is evil!"

The General glared down at her. "I thought I told someone to take her to her cell. We'll deal with her after we deal with that laughable colony." He turned to one of the soldiers. "Get the Laserberd ready and roast that God-forsaken planet."

One of the Judoon grabbed Kittredge roughly by the arm and started to drag her away. Kittredge tried to fight but he was too strong. She was slowly being dragged from the room.

"What are you guys? The God damn Deathstar?! This is wrong. You're sick!" She tried to get the last word in before she was taken away.

She started being dragged further and further down a dark hallway. Her panic was rising more and more.

There was barely any light in the hallways. All there was, was a dark red hue above her. The red light hummed loudly. The walls around her were black. Altogether the atmosphere caused dread within her and quickened her heartbeat.

I don't know what to do, was the only clear thought that broke through the screaming in her head.

She was being dragged further and further away from freedom. She knew that once she was in her cell that it would be the end for her. She needed to think up a plan but her usually busy mind was blank.

What would the Doctor do? What would the Doctor do? She said it like a chant, like somehow if she said it enough times then an idea would form. What would the Doctor do? She had no idea. The Doctor would think of a plan on the spot and save the day but all her brain was thinking was run! The Doctor always told her to use the logical side of your brain when thinking of a plan but her logical side of her brain was being pushed out by her frantic panicked brain.

If the Doctor was here… she trailed off in thought. But the Doctor wasn't here. He was still unconscious in the Tardis with a new face.

Suddenly, out of the screaming and commotion of her brain, an idea started to form. It wasn't a good idea by any means but it was an idea no less. It truly was a stupid idea and the Doctor would probably be disappointed with the simplicity of it but she didn't care at the moment. An idea was an idea no matter how ridiculous it was.

She took a deep breath to build up some courage. It was now or never. She was close to the cells and once she was in one then the chance of escaping was slim to none.

She used all her strength the come to a halt. She planted her feet firmly on the ground causing the Judoon to stop as well. He grunted in annoyance and was about to drag her to the cells when she put her plan into action—well less of a plan and more of a risky move.

"Let me go!" She shouted and pulled her foot back and kicked the Judoon's shin.

This plan was absolutely juvenile but by some cosmic miracle, the Judoon groaned in pain and loosened his grip on her arm. With that, she was able to tug her arm from of his grasp. She then did what she always did when she was with the Doctor; she ran.

She could hear the Judoon yell at her to come back but she didn't stop. She kept running with no real destination in mind. Every corridor looked the same and every angry Judoon shouting at her as she passed looked like the last. Still, she didn't dare stop. She ran and ran until her lungs burned and her legs ached.

She rounded a corner and finally came to a screeching halt for right in front of her was a good dozen Judoon blocking her way with guns in their hands. Her eyes widened and she quickly turned the other way. She heard the Judoon yell as her to stop but she didn't until she saw a door to her left. She quickly opened it and went in. She quickly closed the door behind her and pressed her ear up to it. She stilled herself and held her breath as she tried to listen to see if the Judoon were coming. She heard footsteps coming her way and she froze.

Another cosmic miracle happened though as she heard one of the Judoon say, "She went back down the other way. Contact the others in that sector and see if they can cut her off. We'll meet them there and close her off the other way." She then heard their footsteps getting further and further away.

She let out a breath and slid to the floor in exhaustion. She closed her eyes. She wanted to sleep. She wanted to wake up and be back in the Tardis with the Doctors old face. She wanted to have never crashed into the Judoon ship. She wanted this day to never have happened. Tears started falling down her cheeks and her body shook in a sob.

Come on, Kit! Stop crying! This isn't helping anyone, she told herself. You won't get back to the Tardis by crying. You need to think.

But she was so exhausted that her mind could barely think of a concrete thought. She took a deep breath in and out. She needed to calm down and take it step by step. First, she needed to open her eyes and wipe away the tears. Then she needed to figure out where she was.

She opened her eyes and used her shirt to dry away the tears. She looked around the darkroom and tried to get her bearings. She was in a medium-size room with the usual red lighting that was in the rest of the ship. She was very lucky that there were no Judoon in the room. She figured that it was all hands on deck and all of them were looking for her at the moment. That meant though that she didn't have much time before they started to look in different rooms. At the very far back of the room was a large computer screen similar to the one in the room she was in first.

She got up shakily from the ground, her legs feeling like jelly from all the running she did. She walked to the computer screen and the images on the screen started to become more distinct. It didn't show her much, just the vast void of space. In the center of all the black space was a planet. It was a fairly small planet that was diluted of any colour. She guessed that this was the planet that the mining colony had taken as their home. She looked over at the buttons and switches below the screen. She wondered if this was the laserberd the Judoon had talked about—the thing that they were going to use to destroy the planet.

Kittredge felt sick. She remembered the pleas of the Colonel and his desperate eyes when he talked about the women and children. She knew that she needed to get out of here and find the Tardis as soon as she could but she also knew that she couldn't leave and let these people die. The Doctor sure wouldn't do that. She definitely couldn't let the Judoon think they could go around and kill civilizations without some sort of consequence.

She straightened. The Doctor taught people right from wrong and now she felt that it was her duty to show the Judoon the same. If they wanted justice, then she would give them justice. It felt very simple at that moment. This was a task she needed to do. She just had no idea how she was going to do that.

She looked over the buttons and switches. She thought maybe there was a way to deactivate the laser or at least make it impossible for the Judoon to fire at the planet below. While thinking, she spotted two big red buttons. She always remembered the Doctor would say that sometimes you just needed to press the big threatening-looking buttons. She definitely saw these buttons as threatening. She looked over at them carefully. One button under it said fire. She could only guess that this button was to fire the laser. She was going to stay as far away from that button as possible. She moved her eyes to the other threatening button. Under that button, it said destruct.

She frowned. That didn't sound promising either. Fire or destruction. She weighted the two words in her head. The good news of all this was she could read the words meaning the Tardis was back up and running. The bad news was she had no idea what would happen with each button. Fire definitely meant fire the laser but destruct? She wasn't sure what that could possibly mean. Did it mean the destruction of the planet or… maybe the laser itself? Maybe they needed a failsafe just in case it got overheated or got in the wrong hands. She bit her lip. She supposed that made sense but she was far from being 100% positive. If she was wrong, then that could mean the destruction of the planet. She couldn't let that happen but why would the Judoon have two buttons for the same thing?

She bit her lip harder until she drew blood. There was only one way of knowing. She closed her eyes and put her hand on the button. It was now or never. The Judoon would be coming back to this room soon.

With a deep breath, she pushed the button. A blaring alarm suddenly sounded causing her to jump out of her skin. "Self-destruct initiated," a robotic voice said. She let out a sigh of relief. The destruction button did mean the destruction of the laser. "Self-destruct of base ship in ten minutes."

Kittredge froze. Self-destruct of the… whole ship? Oh no! That was not what she wanted but then she thought of what the General had said to the Colonel. How he had no empathy and how he was willing to kill a whole colony. Maybe they deserved this. Maybe this would help them see that what they were doing was wrong. Karma was a bitch and maybe she needed to be karma.

Suddenly, a Judoon came bursting through the door. She realized it was the General from early.

"What have you done?!" He shouted. He ran up to her and grabbed her arms so tightly that she knew it would leave bruises. "What have you done?!"

She tried to wiggle out of his grasp. "You were going to destroy the planet! I was just trying to stop you!"

"So you doom us all!" He snapped with wide panicked eyes.

She suddenly felt anger flare up in her. "You were going to destroy a planet with children! Innocent children! I had to do something!"

"So you thought to kill us instead? The good and the bad Judoons? The innocent?!" He roared.

She glared at him. "What's the difference from what you were planning on doing?"

"Exactly," his voice became low and his eyes like steel. "What is the difference? How are you any better than us? At least we have the law behind us, what do you have, child?"

Kittredge stood there froze. He was right. She wasn't any better than them. Was this really justice? She couldn't remember. She couldn't think straight. The Doctor would never have done this… or maybe he would. She was going to kill them all. She made a mistake but it was a mistake that she had no problem doing. Ultimately, he was right though. She doubted every Judoon thought the way he did or wanted the planet destroyed but she didn't think. Was it even right for her to think she could play karma? Did she have a right to decide who lives or dies? It felt so simple at the time. Now everything was complicated. It was confusing and erratic. The Doctor always made it seem simple. Why wasn't it simple with her? Did she miss something?

"Can't you stop it?" She asked but her voice sounded so weak.

He let her go. "No. This was a failsafe in case we got overrun by enemies of the Judoon. If someone ever came close to getting the laserbred then we were to self-destruct." He then glared at her. "It was never supposed to be activated by a stupid child with a vendetta." He pressed something around his wrist. "Everyone to their escape pods! We are evacuating! Repeat, everyone to their escape pods!"

"Base ship destruction in five minutes," the robotic voice said.

"We won't have enough time," he muttered to himself. He snapped his head to her. "You really have doomed us all. How many do you think will get to a pod on time? I'm estimating less than half! I swear to you, if I make it out alive, I will hunt you down and I will not rest until you are under Judoon custody again."

She gulped as she stared at his cold eyes. She believed him. "I didn't—"

"I'll give you a head start, child. You have four minutes. Use them wisely," he said deadly calm.

Her mind was a cluttered mess and her body was still frozen but somehow she was able to move her feet. She moved her feet to the door and out into the hallway. Her eyes widened when she saw the scene around her: dozens and dozens of Judoon running around in a mass panic. No one seemed to notice her or pay her any mind. All of them were focused on one thing; getting to safety. Some were screaming at others while others were pushing people out of the way. All their face held fear and dread, and she was the one to cause it.

She pushed through the crowd of terrified Judoon. She had no idea which way to go but she needed to pick a direction because her time was running out. She tried to think and retrace her steps as best as she could. She ran down the corridors once more, bumping into Judoon as she went. The Judoon were big though and it made it hard to stay on her feet every time she collided into one. Some looked at her funny but none stopped to question her.

Finally though, the corridor she was going down opened up to reveal the white room with the observation window. She wanted to cry in relief when she saw the Tardis in the corner.

"Base ship destruction in one minute," the robotic voice said.

Kittredge stopped and looked around her. There was still a good amount of Judoon on the ship and she didn't think they would make it to an escape pod on time. The General had been right. Maybe less than half would make it. She felt sick. They looked so scared. She was a monster. She shook her head. She needed to get to the Tardis. She could hear the robotic voice count down.

She ran to the Tardis and took out her key. She opened to door and went in, closing it behind her. Just as she did a large explosion ripped through the air. It was deafening. Even though the door was closed, the sheer impact of the explosion sent a shock wave through the door. It hit her and she flew backward, hitting the ground hard. It knocked the wind out of her.

That was it. The Judoon ship was destroyed. She didn't dare lookout to see the destruction. She couldn't bear the thought of all those Judoon dead. Tears started flowing from her eyes. She started to sob.

"Kit?" A voice said.

She looked up to see the Doctor with a new face but the same old clothing from her last Doctor. He looked curiously at her. He seemed uncertain and concerned. Kittredge shook her head violently. Now he was awake?! She needed him but now he awoke?! Now, this new Doctor was going to see what she did. The horrible things she just committed.

She looked up at him but her eyes were blurred with her tears. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Was all she could get out.

This new Doctor came towards her slowly. "It's okay, Kit. Whatever happened, it's okay."

She shook her head again. "No! No! I'm a monster! It's all my fault!" She curled into herself so that she was in the fetal position and started to sob again.

"Oh Kit, I'm so sorry."