I have absolutely no idea why I wrote this. Don't even question it, just enjoy!

credit to my friend for the title of this tale

Story 4: Blah blah blah, something about an ass in a pig pen

Carlton Lassiter was standing in the evidence room, trying hard to focus on reviewing some evidence for his newest case. There was a commotion and it was being very distracting.

Muffled voices. Distant yelling.

It was getting very annoying.

Click, clack. Click, clack.

The sound was echoing down the hall.

And it was getting louder.

"Out of my way! I've got a delicate situation here!" It was the yell of Shawn Spencer.

Click, clack. Click, clack. Click clack click clack click clack.

More yelling. It was becoming clearer. The click-clacking was getting faster.

Lassiter finally peeked out of the room to see what was going on. He then wish he hadn't.

Shawn was riding a large donkey down the hall. Gus was leading it. They had an entourage of cops following them, trying to get them out. Of course they weren't listening.

"Uh oh," Shawn said when he noticed Lassiter poking his head out the door.

"What the hell, Spencer?" Lassiter yelled.

"OK, Lassie, I have a very good explanation for this."

Lassiter walked up to grab the lead from Gus' hands. The donkey stepped back and Gus had to hold it steady.

"Woah, Enrique. Calm down," Gus said, stroking the donkey's face. "He won't hurt you."

"Lassie, before you say anything else, this guy is evidence and has all right to be here," Shawn said.

"How could that thing be evidence?!"

Shawn rubbed the donkey's mane. "He's a donkey, Lassiepie. His name is Enrique. Plus, our murderer's blood is in his fur."

Lassiter nearly facepalmed. "You named it?" He sighed, finally processing the full sentence and asking the right question. "And you decided to take a donkeyinto the station instead of simply trimming some fur off?"

"He told me his name himself. Plus, he was lost after the murderer ditched him on the beach. We couldn't just leave him out there, suffering in the cold, getting sand in his hooves! Not to mention he's never been inside a police station before. He was curious."

Lassiter looked at Gus, who shrugged. "Don't ask me. I'm just holding the lead," he said.

"That's it," Lassiter said firmly. "Get out."

"What about the blood on his fur?" Gus asked.

"Fine, you can trim some of that fur off. Then you're out."

"What if there's fingerprints on the saddle?" Shawn asked.

"Fine, we'll dust for prints, then you're out!" Lassiter yelled.

They just barely finished trimming some of the bloody fur off of the donkey's back when another familiar face joined them.

"What is going on down here?" It was the chief.

Shawn and Gus looked at each other. Shawn gave a subtle nod, and Gus lead the donkey out, going as fast as they could.

"Run like the wind, Enrique!" Shawn yelled as they left, even though they weren't even trotting.

Chief Vick was speechless. She had absolutely no words.

"Well, they may have found our killer's DNA," Lassiter said.

The Chief nodded. "I should go make sure they didn't break anything."

Lassiter was left standing in the hall holding a bag of bloody donkey fur. "How did my life come to this?" he mumbled to himself as he walked down to forensics.

I still don't know why I made this one.