Chapter One Juliet's Pov:

Shawn was acting weird she noticed it first the night Carlton and Marlowe had announced their engagement, Gus had jumped and squealed as per usual when anything exciting happened, Juliet herself had pulled them both into a hug and told them how glad she was, Shawn though, Shawn seemed to shut down, his eyes dulled from their usually bright hazel and a frown etched itself onto his face for a brief moment before, -noticing her expression- he changed it to a bright smile, gave Carlton a firm handshake and said "I'm happy for you Lassie" but the second they let go, his smile dropped instantly and he excused himself to go use the bathroom, Gus looked after him, seeming slightly worried, before turning to Juliet and telling her he was gonna check on Shawn.

Juliet stood there baffled, Carlton and Marlowe were oblivious to anything wrong, they were lost in their own little world of happiness and Juliet briefly felt envious, then shook herself out of that thought as fast as it had come, she was glad they were happy, truly, Carlton deserved it for all he had been through, and though she didn't know Marlowe that well, she could see them becoming fast friends, she rationalized Shawns reaction as the same envious feeling she had a moment ago, maybe he was just jealous that Carlton and Marlowe were so happy after knowing each other for such a short time, while her and Shawn had known each other for years and were still rocky. With that thought in mind she took off towards the bathroom to make sure Shawn knew he wasn't alone in feeling that way

When she was just a couple more steps to the bathroom door she stopped, she didn't know why she did this, but something told her to listen in when she heard the hushed voices of Shawn and Gus behind the closed door

"Shawn you're being ridiculous" Gus said angrily, Juliet was taken aback by the tone, she had never heard him use it before with Shawn, she'd heard him angry at Shawn for risking their lives or putting them into crazy situations all the time, but he had never used this tone before, it was harsh and not just due to their whispered voices.

"Don't you think I know that Gus?" Shawn replied just as angry

"I should be happy that they have something, something that I never will" he added the second part so quietly she almost hadn't heard it, her heart broke for him, she knew that deep down Shawn was extremely insecure, and couldn't handle anything too serious and that was why he always deflected with jokes lighthearted comments, and over all goofiness, but him and Juliet had gotten serious, and then she had broken his heart, and he was still trying to mend it, she was about to steel herself, march in there and tell him how much she loved him and no matter what she would stick by his side, when something Gus said stopped her

"You have an amazing girl out there who loves you Shawn, you had an engagement ring on you for so long, you were ready to marry Juliet, and you're still on this? Still letting it get to you this much?"

"I know Gus, and I love her too, this just.." He paused and she put a hand over her mouth to mask her breathing, which was suddenly much heavier

"This just makes it real" he finished sounding sad now, not the angry tone she heard only moments ago

"Shawn you know damn well this isn't fair to Juliet, she loves you, she puts up with your stupidity and she decided to give you another chance after finding out you had been lying to her about being psychic the whole time, god only knows if she found out about this what she would do"

By now Gus had raised his voice slightly, she stopped breathing entirely for a moment, what else had Shawn been hiding this whole time? And how could it impair their relationship anymore? She was scared to say the least, she felt bad for listening in on their private conversation, she wanted to turn tail and run back to that happy image of Carlton and his new fiancee, and confront Shawn later, he could only hide something for so long, though the memory of Shawn hiding what she thought was his biggest secret for as long as she'd known him stopped her, she needed to know what this was about

"Shawn, I'm not gonna say it again, either tell her and hope for the best, or let her down easy, you know as well as I do this isn't fair to her"

She heard Gus turn and start marching for the door, so she quickly ran and hid in an adjacent closet, she had just enough time to nestle herself among the coats and.. oh my god, were those sex toys? she had to cover her mouth yet again to keep the shrill disgusted scream from escaping, why didn't they keep those things in the bedroom or burn them to cleanse themselves of all that sin? When the bathroom door slammed open and Gus stormed out mumbling incoherently, she saw Shawn through the small cracks in the closet door staring at himself in the mirror, he was talking to himself, muttering things like "idiot" "stupid" and "child" she let a frown mar her beautiful features as she watched him, reprimanding herself for letting him in again just to be further deceived

"Fuck!" He cursed to himself before turning the tap on and splashing his face with water, he looked like hell, his eyes were bloodshot and he wore a grim expression, had he been crying over this? as he finally exited the bathroom after staring at himself a bit longer, she decided she was gonna get to the bottom of this, whether she liked it or not, she owed it to herself.