He couldn't believe Shawn right now, he thought he was over all this when he began having feelings for Juliet, he knew Shawn was stupid, but he just got the girl of his dreams back, and he was gonna throw it all away over a stupid crush, granted he had the crush for years, but knowing his best friend was gonna throw away all his potential happiness for someone who Shawn had come to the conclusion years ago would never feel the same, absolutely boggled him, then again, Gus himself wasn't known to have feelings for more than one person at a time, another thing about Shawn he would never understand.

Gus excused himself from the concerned look on Juliets face, not being able to handle it for much longer, he cared for Juliet, even considered her one of his close friends, how could he not, with how many times she had saved his life and Shawn's when they got themselves wrapped up in something they couldn't handle, Shawn would scold him for that train of thought, telling him that he knew all the situations they were getting into before hand, and that he could improvise if need be. He walked down the hall and to the bathroom, knowing his long time friend better than himself by this point, he knew he would find Shawn sitting on the closed toilet, resting his head in his hands, berating himself as he always did when things got too serious for him to handle. He approached the bathroom making sure his footsteps were heavy so Shawn would recognize them and not freak out even further, he pushed open the door, and the sight that greeted him was surprising,

Shawn was on the floor curled up into a ball, he was slightly rocking, and from the whimpered sounds, he was crying, this stopped Gus in his tracks, he hadn't seen his best friend like this in quite some time, since his mother had left. Gus had sat with him then, letting him stain his shirt with snot and tears, listening to him rant about how much he hated his father for treating them so badly, then came the self deprecation that Shawn hid so well, he started blaming himself for being a freak, and the reason his mom left, saying that if he had just been good enough she would have stayed.

So Gus did what he had then, he closed the bathroom door, making sure to lock it, settling beside his friend on the uncomfortable floor, staying silent, knowing Shawn was like a caged animal when it came to things like this, and knowing it was best to just be there until he was ready to approach the subject at hand.

"Gus" Shawn sobbed out, then made a grab for him, Gus let himself be pulled into the mans arms, Shawn was an openly affectionate guy on a daily basis, hugging people left and right, flirting with almost anyone that even glanced in his direction, but Gus knew without a doubt that Shawn didn't let just anyone see him like this, without his walls up, or his front of mindless chatter, just to fill the silence so he wouldn't have to be alone with his own thoughts, so he sat there, put his arms around him and stayed silent as he held him, just like he had all those years ago.

"Gus its bad, like, the remake of Willy Wonka bad"

Gus himself had liked the remake of the beloved movie, what could he say? He was a sucker for Johnny Depp, but he just continued to hold Shawn, murmuring reassurances to him until Shawn finally calmed down enough to uncurl from him, they sat there for a moment both lost in their own minds, Gus thinking of chocolate rivers and how much he wished he had been cast to play in that movie, not for lack of trying, but the thought of the kids thinking he himself was made of chocolate and trying to eat him had scared him off from sending anymore emails, and Shawn, thinking that his very world was coming to an end.

"Mmm chocolate" Gus muttered to himself without realizing

"What?' Shawn asked astonished "I'm having a crisis right now, the very life I carved out for myself is falling apart and you're thinking about chocolate?"

"I'm starving Shawn, I haven't eaten since Marlowe made those delicious celebratory muffins" the thought of those muffins still being out in the kitchen almost made him leave Shawn there alone, but he knew better than to leave his friend like this

"Chocolate does sound pretty good right now"

Shawn relented, his stomach grumbling, he had lost his appetite when they had announced their engagement, so he hadn't taken the offered muffins, and just thinking of the memory made him lose it all over again.

"Actually never mind, chocolate sounds disgusting right now"

"Damn, you must be pretty torn up, you can't even think about chocolate"

"Gus I told you, my heart is broken! It can't be glued back together with chocolatey heaven"

"Shawn, I don't understand you, why are you so upset about this? You have Juliet out there, waiting with open arms"

Shawns voice got quiet as he answered "Because I love him Gus"

Gus felt a surge of anger go through him, Juliet was his friend and she didn't deserve this

"Damn it Shawn, I have told you time and again to tell him how you feel, you've had this stupid crush for years, and every time you provoke him to the point of manhandling you in some way, you come to me gushing about the feel of his arms, or the blue of his eyes, blah blah blah, I'm sick of it"

Shawn had the decency to look ashamed "I know Gus, but we're both aware of the fact that he'd never feel the same, and you're my best friend, you're the only one I can talk to this stuff about, his voice became hushed once again

"You're the only one who knows about… me, you know, swinging on a rope swing not only to the water, but also toward the beach front"

"Shawn you're being ridiculous" he said in a harsh whispered half yell, he stood up about to walk out and leave him there, friendship pact be damned

Shawn stood up as well and got in his face, this was not something that he did often, but it angered him that his friend didn't understand

"Don't you think I know that Gus?" "I should be happy that they have something"

His resolve had crumbled, he couldn't be angry at Gus for something he already knew to be true, he fucked things up, like he always had, like he inevitably would again

"Something that I never will" he finished, aggression gone, replaced by the sadness he felt moments ago

"You have an amazing girl out there who loves you Shawn, you had an engagement ring on you for so long, you were ready to marry Juliet, and you're still on this? Still letting it get to you this much?"

He asked baffled, how could Shawn be so stupid? He just had to get over it and be happy with the girl that loves him, he accepted long ago that Lassiter didn't feel the same, and he should be able to move on

"I know Gus, and I love her too, this just…"

he stopped, getting choked up thinking about Marlowe and Lassie, being happy and getting married, having kids in the future, all the mushy crap Shawn wanted to do with him, of course they would have to adopt, this wasn't one of those stupid mpreg fanfictions you'd find online

"This just makes it real"

the tears stared to flow but he refused to acknowledge them, he wasn't about to go all stereotypical lovesick puppy on Gus, his best friend knew him well, and knew how weak he could be when it came to things like this, but he wasn't going to let his friend have the satisfaction when he was angry at him for something he couldn't help

"Shawn, you know damn well this isn't fair to Juliet-"

Shawn had tuned him out at this point, having heard this speech a thousand times before, didn't Gus know he knew this already? He was pretty sure he had just told him, but then again his mind was in such shambles he could have imagined it, he pondered briefly on that, if he had imagined this whole conversation with Gus up, then that meant in reality, he had no reason to have been crying on the bathroom floor, Marlowe and Lassie hadn't gotten engaged, and he could continue stealing glances at the detective and riling him up all while being in a happy relationship with Jules, he wouldn't have to beat himself up constantly anymore, sleepless nights wondering why he was such a fuck up, and how he could -unbeknownst to her- hurt the girl he loves so much. But alas this was his reality, and Gus's angry voice was the thing that brought him out of his fantasy and back to his living hell

"Shawn, I'm not gonna say it again, either tell her and hope for the best, or let her down easy, you know as well as I do, this isn't fair to her"

He stomped out of the room, throwing open the door on his way out letting his best friend stay in there to sulk, Gus didn't get mad at Shawn often, actually mad, but this hurt him as well, to see Shawn so broken up about this, knowing he was in for a world of hurt, and this was just the beginning, and he hurt for Juliet, she was gonna find out sooner or later and she would be beyond distraught, having just started to trust Shawn again.

He stormed through the house and into the living room, past Lassiter and Marlowe saying sickly sweet things while practically strangling each other with the strength of their embrace,

"I'm sorry, but I cannot stay here any longer"

He rushed out the front door, got two steps from his car, turned around, stormed into the kitchen and grabbed the tray resting on the counter

"And I'm taking the rest of these muffins with me"

With that he left again, got in his car and drove home to clear his head