21. Boggarts and Martial Arts.

"Well," Kirk muttered as they made their way back to the Room of Requirement, "I can see why she uses that quill." He made a face in agreement with McCoy's inarticulate snort of protest. "It's not right and nothing will ever convince me otherwise, but it's definitely an incentive." He looked towards Spock, who was walking calmly beside him. "I don't know how you kept quiet about this."

"It is not in my nature to give way to superfluous complaint, Captain," he said, giving McCoy a meaningful glance. McCoy's mouth twitched into something between a scowl and a smile.

"Jim," Kirk corrected. "Call me Jim."

"For what purpose, Captain?"

"Spock, are you honestly going to keep calling me 'captain' even if we stay here forever?"

"That would be illogical as you would no longer be captain."

"Exactly," Kirk said. "Therefore I put it to you Mister Spock," he said with a grin, "that since our return to our own universe is uncertain, you should not be calling me by my title, but by my given name."

Spock's eyes twinkled as he mulled it over. "Very well...Jim. I believe this shall take some adjustment, however."

"Glad to know we understand each other, Spock."

"What about me?" McCoy asked irritably.

"We already understand each other, Bones," Kirk teased.

McCoy rolled his eyes. "You know what I meant."

"Doctor?" Spock asked, looking from one to the other in confusion.

"Don't you 'Doctor' me, you pointy eared computerised elf! I have a name!"

"That is evident, McCoy."

McCoy scowled. "Stop teasing me damn it and use the first one! Out of all the Vulcans we could have been landed with," he carried on muttering even as Kirk grinned and Spock's eyes twinkled, "we had to get a joking one."

Spock's mouth twitched treacherously. "For what purpose should I use your first name?" He asked innocently. "You are a Doctor in this universe as your medical skill is unaffected by our transference."

"What about my license?" McCoy challenged. "I won't be a legitimate doctor without one."

"That would hardly stop you in an emergency, Doctor. In any case, it is possible obtain a new one," Spock said, a hint of amusement lying under the logic as he watched McCoy gradually turn an interesting shade of puce.

Kirk chuckled. "Alright Spock, I think Bones has had enough."

Spock inclined his head. "I apologise...Leonard," he said deliberately, but without a hint of apology in his voice.

"You're insufferable," McCoy sighed in vaguely exasperated affection as they stepped through the door to their living quarters.

Through their window they could see that the sun had long ago set, leaving a strewn pattern of glittering pin pricks of light in the sky, the moon silently joining them in their vigil over the now sleeping Earth. The clock on the wall counted down the seconds to ten o'clock, and they felt the complete and utter stillness of a castle filled with sleeping students.

McCoy sank onto his bed, staring at the back of his hand. "Three hours," he muttered. "We were there for three hours."

"Then we'll just have to make sure it never happens again," Kirk said as he shut the door behind them and came further into the room.

There were a few beats of silence before Kirk spoke again, voicing the thought that they had all been waiting to discuss. "I wonder why Umbridge called Snape to her office."

"I presume that she wished for him to remove the boggart," Spock replied.

"She's a teacher of Defence," Kirk pointed out. "She should know how to do it herself."

"This is Umbridge we're talking about," McCoy said wryly. "She probably thinks she's above it."

"Maybe she had another motive."

Spock glanced at Kirk thoughtfully. "You believe that she used the existence of the boggart as a pretence?"

Kirk nodded. "She doesn't seem to like Snape-"

"No one seems to," McCoy muttered, although for once there was no venom in his voice regarding the Potions Master.

"-and it would be just like her," Kirk continued, "to try to humiliate him in some way."

"I think it was more than humiliation. Did you see the expression on her face when we walked in? It was triumphant. I think she was doing a little digging."

"A boggart assumes the appearance of one's worst fear," Spock added.

"And Umbridge is reasoning that everyone's worst fear should be Voldemort," McCoy continued, "since he has returned. He should be the worst fear of any professor at this school, since he poses the most threat to both them and the students."

"But it wasn't in Snape's case," Kirk finished.

"Precisely," McCoy said. "She's going to think this means that he hasn't returned, and that is why she looked so triumphant."

"You think there's a bigger picture," Kirk concluded, his face showing understanding. "Since she specifically asked Snape."

"And it wasn't because she hates him," McCoy nodded. "I've seen the way she looks at him. She hides it well, but there is a subtle fear beneath her pompousness."

"He is intimidating."

"It's more than that Spock," McCoy said. "This is real fear, not just nervousness. Snape obviously has a reputation of some kind which Professor Dumbledore has hidden from us."

"I always knew it would help to have a trained psychologist on board," Kirks quipped, his voice obviously an attempt at lightness, but failing dramatically.

"I have noticed," Spock began slowly, "that most of the population of the school refer to Voldemort as variations of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named."

"Dumbledore and Harry don't," Kirk pointed out.

"That only suggests that they aren't afraid of him," McCoy said. "Dumbledore is apparently one of the greatest wizards alive, and Harry is dubbed as 'The-Boy-Who-Lived'...it makes sense for them to not show the same fear as the rest of the population. No one else – besides us because we're new here – dares to speak Voldemort's name."

"Similarly," Spock continued, "Professor Snape does not directly refer to him. However," he added at the others' blank expressions, "I have heard him refer to Voldemort as the 'Dark Lord', which is a different variation than that of the rest of the school."

"How did you hear that?" Kirk asked in surprise.

"Vulcan hearing does have its uses, Jim."

"So what Bat Ears is saying," McCoy said seriously, ignoring Kirk's slight grin and Spock's raised eyebrow, "is that Snape thinks of Voldemort in a different way and therefore gives him a different name."

There was a pregnant pause.

"You think he's a Death Eater?" Kirk asked warily.

"There is no other viewpoint for him to adopt regarding Voldemort."

"It would definitely explain why he always wears long sleeves," McCoy muttered.

"So if Snape is at least rumoured to be a Death Eater," Kirk said, "this would cause Umbridge to be as scared of him as Bones suggests. I'd imagine he'd have quite a reputation..."

Spock nodded. "It is possible."

"Once again we're back to the boggart and her reasons behind it," Kirk said.

"It definitely explains the fear priority theory," McCoy replied. "A follower of Voldemort would understandably be terrified as well as loyal to him."

"Who knew Umbridge could play the detective," Kirk muttered in slight amusement.

"She has not been sufficiently discreet. Professor Snape has surely been alerted to the fact that she is investigating him."

"Which brings me to another point," Kirk said. "The Ministry should have at least taken him in for questioning. From what I hear, the arrest of a suspected Death Eater happens at the drop of a hat in some cases, and they haven't laid a finger on Snape."

"Obviously he has protection."

"Do you think it's from Dumbledore?" McCoy asked.

"Professor Dumbledore is an extremely well respected wizard. It would be logical to assume that he therefore has considerable influence in politics."

"So, clearly Dumbledore knows that Snape is suspected of being – and may even be – a Death Eater," Kirk said, "yet he still trusts him. Maybe because he finds him useful, besides for teaching."

"Are you saying he's a spy?" McCoy asked sceptically.

"He could be," Kirk countered. "Either that, or his status as a Death Eater is only rumoured."

"A logical deduction."

"If he was a spy," McCoy said flatly, "then Voldemort would surely have worked it out. He must know that Snape is at Hogwarts, if Snape's a Death Eater, that is."

"Obviously Voldemort trusts him also," Spock said. "Perhaps Professor Snape has given him reason to do so by-"

"Telling him he'd spy on Dumbledore," Kirk finished.

Spock nodded. "Affirmative."

McCoy threw his hands into the air. "This is getting ridiculous."

"It is necessary to consider the possibilities," Spock told him.

"We don't even know if he is a Death Eater," McCoy pointed out. "We could be over-analysing."

"I don't think we are," Kirk said quietly.

"I know you're usually right Jim, but isn't this going too far? None of this is necessarily true."

The eyebrow rose. "You suggested that Professor Umbridge had a motive more important than hate," Spock pointed out.

"I could be wrong," McCoy argued.

"Leonard, I disagree with you frequently, but I believe that in this instance you are correct."

McCoy snorted.

"You have considerable talent in the field of psychology," Spock continued relentlessly. "The odds are more favourable that you are correct than those stating that you are not."

McCoy sighed and flopped backwards on his bed. "We're in over our heads."

"We're not the only ones," Kirk said darkly, causing McCoy to sit back up and stare at him. "If our suspicions about Professor Snape are right, then he could get into a lot of trouble for helping us."

"We don't know that he's on our side, if and only if he's a Death Eater."

"We must trust Professor Dumbledore," Spock said simply. "None of his previous actions have suggested irresponsibility or poor judgement."

"Besides," Kirk said, "even if he wasn't on our side, he'd still be trying to get Voldemort back, so either way he has to help us. He's no threat to us."

"What about the students?" McCoy asked simply.

"If he wished to harm the students, he could have done so," Spock pointed out. "The fact that he has not suggests that he is loyal to Professor Dumbledore."

"Especially considering his notorious feud with Harry, who is supposed to defeat Voldemort," Kirk added. "He's Harry's teacher, he could have killed him at any time if he was loyal to Voldemort, but he hasn't."

"If my observations are correct," Spock said, "human psychology would suggest that Voldemort would wish to kill Harry himself, in order to experience high levels of satisfaction."

"So that makes your argument go down the drain Jim."

"Not completely, Leonard," Spock continued. "Professor Snape has also neglected to provide Voldemort with access to Harry. He should have done so once he knew that Voldemort had regained power. He has had ample opportunity."

McCoy groaned and fell back onto the bed. "I'm getting too old for conspiracy theories."

"We certainly appear to discover them in abundance," Spock agreed.

"Until we know the truth," Kirk said finally, "we should remain alert around Professor Snape. But," he added, "all of our evidence so far leads me to believe he's on our side." He grinned wryly. "We'll just have to hope for the best."

"Very sound advice Jim," McCoy groaned.

Grinning at his CMO's typical response despite the sombreness of the situation, Kirk disappeared into the shower room, leaving the other two officers to make a start on their homework, which they were still finishing early into the morning.

The days sped quickly by after their detention with Umbridge which was, to their general relief, their last for the time being. Although Umbridge's behaviour never changed, they managed to force themselves not to respond to her malevolent insults, shrouded in sweetness and chuckles though they may be. Luckily, Harry seemed to be taking Angelina's remarks to heart and was copying their example, though they could still clearly read the anger her continued ignorance about Voldemort caused. Even those who did not completely believe in or share Dumbledore and Harry's convictions were becoming increasingly irritated with Umbridge's continued digs, if only because it was the sole topic of conversation that her lessons revolved around.

Spock had been charged with finding out the Slytherins' views on the matter as discreetly as possible, so that both Kirk and McCoy knew the full extent of opinion within the castle, should action need to be taken. It was, therefore, their topic of conversation that evening as they waited for the DA members to arrive for their first self-defence lesson from Kirk.

"The Slytherin house members also appear to possess little tolerance for Professor Umbridge," Spock reported as they all sat in chairs near the fire.

"Why don't they do something about it then?" McCoy groused.

"Perhaps you will recall the attributes of Slytherin house: cunning and ambition. They recognise the disadvantages of directly opposing her, Leonard. They have instead opted for a less brazen approach."

"In other words," McCoy said in disgust, "they're happy to just sit back and watch."

"It is eminently more pragmatic. By doing so, they have ample opportunity to make note of her weaknesses and use them to their advantage at a later date."

"I can see why they're in Slytherin," Kirk said thoughtfully.

"They're brain washing you Spock," McCoy declared out of the blue.

Spock blinked. "Why should my brain have the need to be cleansed? I assure you that my bone structure is perfectly capable at preventing undesirable compounds from gaining access to my brain."

McCoy stared at him. "Do you honestly never understand idioms, or are you just pulling my leg?"

The twinkling in Spock's eyes was answer enough.

"Well I never!" McCoy practically crowed, a grin splitting his face in two. "There's a practical joker lurking in there after all," he declared, pointing at Spock's head.

Spock raised an eyebrow. "I must admit surprise at the fact that you failed to reach such a conclusion earlier, Leonard. You were, after all, the main advocate for adopting human practices whilst we were aboard the Enterprise."

Kirk grinned. "Looks like Hikaru owes me some money."

"You were betting on this?" McCoy squawked, the sound not unlike a particularly surprised seagull.

"Of course. I know a good source of income when I see one."

"Are you telling me," McCoy sputtered, "that everyone knew the hobgoblin had a sense of humour but me, and were betting on how long I'd continue to make a fool of myself by arguing with him about it?"

"Yep," Kirk said cheerfully. "You were just too busy arguing with him to notice."

"Did you know about this Spock?" McCoy demanded.

Spock looked vaguely sheepish. "I had my suspicions."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"It was an interesting source of information on the topic of human nature."

McCoy snorted. "What else do you people bet on?"

"You'd be happier not knowing," Kirk hedged.

"Spock?"

"I regret that I have no knowledge of additional bets."

McCoy narrowed his eyes at him. "Oh really?"

"Vulcans cannot lie," Spock said simply, his face set in stone.

"I'm beginning to have my doubts about that one," McCoy muttered, still scrutinising the Vulcan.

"I am being truthful, Leonard."

"So you say."

Kirk rolled his eyes at them. "If you two are finished bickering, the first members of the DA have arrived."

Sure enough, a small group of students clustered around the door, grins of amusement still there from when they were listening to the mock argument. Kirk beckoned them in, and they drew cushions across the floor to make a small audience facing the front. The three officers waited until everyone else had arrived and settled down before beginning the meeting.

"Welcome back," Kirk said in a very male version of Umbridge's voice, grinning wildly as everyone's eyes widened. "I hope you have all had a pleasant break, and are ready for the hard work to come."

"Oh Lord," McCoy muttered to himself, even as the crowd of students snickered openly.

"All jokes aside," Kirk continued, his voice reassuringly normal now, "I have an interesting session planned out. Before we start, does anyone know any self-defence?"

One second year raised his hand. "I've just started judo lessons," he said quietly, obviously very conscious of the eyes fixed upon him.

Kirk grinned in encouragement. "That will help you a lot, because I'm actually going to teach you a bit of judo. Unfortunately, I only know a few techniques since we had a limited syllabus at the Academy regarding Defence, but I do know a few street methods." He grinned manically even as McCoy scowled. "Spock can also teach you the safer forms of Vulcan defence when we've finished with my techniques. So, now that you know what we're doing... " He beckoned at the group at large. "Stand up," he instructed.

Everyone stood up, exchanging slightly wary and apprehensive glances as they did so, some muttering enthusiastically. They could vaguely hear Luna murmuring to her neighbour about the origins of Judo in the long lost city of Atlantis, having been passed on before the city sank. The neighbour looked vaguely confused, but politely interested.

"Before we do anything, I have to teach you how to fall correctly, so that you don't injure yourselves. As you can see, we've set out mats over there, which is where all our practise will take place," he pointed, "and where we will practice the fall which I am about to show you."

Obediently, they all trooped over to a square of mats that had been laid out by the three officers a half hour earlier, having anticipated the need for these and asked the room to provide some.

"As beginners, I will teach you the simplest type of fall first, since that's the one you'll need at the moment. Everyone watching?" They all nodded.

Kirk immediately fell to the floor, slapped the ground and then rolled back to his feet. Everyone gaped at him in slight surprise, not having been expecting that.

"Did you all catch that?" Everyone nodded, and Kirk smiled. "I have to say you're quicker than the Academy training class..." he spared a meaningful glance at McCoy, who smirked back.

It was widely known that McCoy was the reason why the class had been slow to progress, since his first attempts at any move were usually a failure, though he did not actually seem to mind the fact that it had become a long standing joke, having encouraged much of it himself through endless complaining.

"So if half the group moves off the mat so that we have space for the other half to have a go..." wordlessly, his instructions were carried out, and a worried looking group stood before Kirk, some obviously beginning to reconsider their decision to come to the room that day.

"On the count of three," Kirk said. He glanced at Spock. "Do you want to go to the back so that you can keep an eye on students further away?" He murmured quietly. Spock nodded and moved to his new position without a word, his keen eyes and expertise more than capable for the job.

"One...two...three." The air was instantly filled with the sound of people falling spectacularly and then slapping the floor, a few rounds of giggles sounding after the noise had died down. "Very well done," Kirk praised as they all stood back up. "We'll keep practising for a while longer though, and then let the other half of the group have a go."

For the next few minutes, Kirk and Spock walked around the square of students, occasionally pointing out advice for those who were practising and even demonstrating on some occasions. The group soon began to pick it up, until it was time for the second half of the group to have a go. The process was repeated, and about half an hour later the students had retreated to cushions, slightly sore from all the falling but otherwise triumphant at having picked up a new skill.

"Well you've all mastered the fall," Kirk said once the last mutterings of chatter died down, "so now we'll go onto something else. The move that I am about to demonstrate..." he glanced around.

McCoy looked like a deer in the headlights. "Not with me," he mouthed frantically, nodding his head at Spock.

Kirk grinned and for a moment McCoy was afraid that he would be picked, despite his protests, but Kirk turned back around to face the students. "...with Mister Spock," an audible sigh of relief from McCoy, "is called the 'Ashi Guruma' or 'Leg Wheel'. It is very simple once it has been mastered properly, though at first it is difficult to pick up, especially if you have trouble with two left feet." There were several snickers and jokes exchanged among the audience. "If you do have trouble, Mister Spock and I will be there to help you, so there's no need to panic."

He moved back over to the mats and the students pulled their cushions closer, Spock moving to join Kirk. They silently and slowly grabbed hold of each others' clothing in the appropriate places, near shoulder height, so that the students could clearly see what they were doing.

What followed was what looked like, for the spectators who had never seen the process before, a strange type of choreographed dance, which ended up with Kirk being lightly dumped onto the floor, grinning at them. He bounced back upright energetically.

"Obviously in a real fight it won't be as smooth as that," he said wryly, "and the outcome may be different, but that is all you need to learn for now. Is there anyone who wants us to repeat the demonstration?" Nobody raised their hands. "Divide into pairs and take it in turns throwing each other as we just showed you...make sure there's enough space between groups. I think Bones would have a fit if anyone ended up in the hospital wing."

Once more, Kirk and Spock patrolled the border of the mats, occasionally stepping in and allowing a student to try and throw them, guiding them verbally if the student was doing it wrong. The result was that another half hour later everyone had mastered the technique, even though it was still performed slowly, and were looking very pleased with themselves. Throughout the entire session, McCoy had stayed out of the way, not entirely trusting himself to take part in case he caused some type of catastrophe reminiscent of his Academy days.

Finally, everyone sat in a group once more, including the three officers, discussing when their next meeting would be and accommodating it to fit the Quidditch schedule for all of the teams present. When they had finally fixed a date, the conversation moved onto more everyday topics, until finally it came around to defence once more.

"I've been meaning to ask," one student said, her eyes alight with curiosity, "what does a real judo fight look like?"

"Do you want a demonstration?"

Several people nodded enthusiastically, obviously keen to see what they would eventually be learning, and Kirk turned to regard McCoy with a teasing grin. "Any objections, Bones?"

"None that you'd listen to," McCoy groused back.

Kirk's gaze turned to Spock. "Feel like giving them a demonstration? I've been waiting to get you back for our last match for a while now."

"You will not be victorious," Spock said, deadpan.

"Is that a threat?" Kirk asked, eyebrows raised in mock indignation.

Spock simply stood up and assumed his place on the mats, his face impassive but friendly challenge lurking in its depths.

"I'll take that as a 'yes'," Kirk said affably as he too took his place on the mats, in front of Spock. He turned back to the students. "Bear in mind that most of the moves I use are actually improvised...as I explained earlier, I learnt most of my self defence through...practical demonstrations."

"Watch closely," McCoy said to the group at large. "They'll need plenty of witnesses when one kills the other..." Several people chuckled, but most waited with bated breath for the demonstration to begin.

After a few moments during which they bowed to each other, Kirk and Spock circled, testing each other's strengths and weaknesses, plans already beginning to form for the other's defeat.

Kirk was the first to move. Closing in on Spock, he grabbed the Vulcan's clothing and a brief tussle ensued which resulted in Kirk being thrown to the floor, only to quickly regain his footing. They circled for a few more moments, but this time Spock lunged using a technique similar to the one Kirk had just used.

Kirk managed not to fall, however, and soon Spock was caught in what looked like a brief headlock, only to wriggle free a few moments later and somehow force Kirk back onto the mat.

Glancing around at the assembled students, McCoy noticed with amusement that many were sitting there wide-eyed, a few whispering to each other as the demonstration became more and more a flurry of limbs as the mock battle escalated. Kirk managed to catch Spock out and throw him a few times, but for the most part the Vulcan maintained the upper hand.

When the fight finally ended and the two came back over to the group, Kirk breathing hard but Spock not having even broken out in a sweat, the students were still staring in amazement, before a few of them began a stalling round of applause. Kirk bowed in mock thanks, while Spock simply re-took his place next to McCoy in the group of cushions.

"As you can see," Kirk said wryly when he too had sat down, "I don't win much."

"For a human," Spock interjected, "you are exceptionally skilled."

"Just my luck to have an opponent several times stronger than me," Kirk replied.

"Indeed."

Hermione was one of the few that did not look enthused by the prospects of combat training open to them. "I thought you could use a neck pinch," she said shortly, looking directly at Spock.

"Every Vulcan is able to," Spock replied.

"Then why did you learn Judo and Vulcan defence?" She asked.

"In some instances, a neck pinch is not favourable," Spock said simply. "There is not always the opportunity to swiftly overcome an enemy in a peaceful fashion."

"Can you teach us the neck pinch?" Harry asked.

"He's been trying to teach me ever since I found out he could do it," Kirk said. "It never worked."

"A non-Vulcan has never had the capacity to master the skill," Spock added.

"As far as we know," Kirk finished.

"This universe might be different," Hermione pointed out. "If we have magical ability here which you don't, then maybe we can do things which are thought to be impossible for humans in your universe."

"The odds are not favourable."

"You won't know unless you try, Spock," McCoy said. "At least give it a go."

"Very well," Spock conceded. "I will need one volunteer."

"You're not going to demonstrate on them are you?" McCoy asked sceptically.

"I am merely going to demonstrate the correct hand position. I am hardly going to request that they divide into pairs and proceed to render each other unconscious," Spock said blankly. "That would be extremely impractical."

"Right," McCoy muttered, feeling slightly ridiculous.

Meanwhile, Hermione had been the only one to step forward, so Spock walked over to her. The rest of the group remained seated on the floor, staring up at them expectantly.

Spock raised his hand and placed it on her shoulder in the correct position, but did not exert any pressure. "This is the position which needs to be adopted," he said to the group at large. "For non-humans, the method of application may vary depending on the location of major nerve endings. Similarly, the amount of force needed to render the being unconscious may differ.

"The reason that many non-Vulcans are unable to perform this method is due to their lack of sensitivity in their hands," he continued. "The fingertips are utilised to propel energy from the defendant into the opponent, rendering the opponent unconscious." His mouth twitched. "Evidently, it would be impractical for me to demonstrate completely. However, once the correct positioning has been memorised, what remains is experimentation on the amount of force needed. It would be unwise for you to attempt to conduct these experiments on each other."

There were several groans as everyone digested this piece of information, though some looked thoughtfully mischievous, Fred and George Weasley being among them.

"I advise that you attempt this method only should a situation warrant it, though I can allow no guarantees that it may be successful," Spock warned.

Kirk glanced at the clock. "Since it's just before curfew, we should probably let you go. I'm sure that you all have a lot of homework to do." He grimaced. "As do we..."

There was collective eye rolling as everyone remembered long forgotten essays that had been deliberately abandoned in order for the students to attend this meeting, and groups began to shuffle out slowly, obviously reluctant to go back to the promise of work. A few could still be heard chattering as they walked down the corridors and out of sight, though mercifully everyone recognised the need to keep quiet about what they had just learned.

McCoy sighed and closed the door. "I have a feeling that we'll find a few unconscious students lying around school tomorrow..."

"We cannot be certain that the method will work, Leonard," Spock reminded him.

"No, but my Doctor sense is tingling, and when I start indirectly quoting Spider Man, it's generally a sign that something's wrong."

"I was unaware that there was a part arachnid part humanoid in existence, nor that you would have made his acquaintance, Leonard, given your distaste for arachnids."

McCoy squinted at him. "Why am I never sure if you're joking or not?"

Kirk chuckled. "Because he has such a good poker face."

"Remind me never to play poker with you, Spock."

"Very well, Leonard," Spock said neutrally, sitting down quietly at a desk and already beginning to pull out his homework.

"I never thought I'd say that..." McCoy muttered, puttering off to his own school bag and withdrawing a large and forebodingly heavy textbook on Potions.

Kirk's head thunked onto his desk. "Of all the subjects here, I have to be bad at Potions. Everything else is fine," he moaned, "but Potions is still a nightmare."

"You should ask Snape for extra lessons," McCoy said, with a remarkably straight face.

"Or I could ask Spock," Kirk replied, giving the Vulcan First Officer a hopeful look.

"When I have completed my assignment for Charms I will assist you, Captain."

"It'll take a long time," McCoy warned wickedly, ignoring the look that Kirk threw his way.

"I have already commenced my Charms assignment," Spock replied, "and completed the remainder of my homework for other subjects. I have sufficient time to allow for aiding Jim."

"Even if it takes all night," McCoy finished for him.

"Precisely."

"You two don't have any faith in me at all, do you?" Kirk asked desolately from his desk.

Spock looked up seriously from his parchment, which was covered with his precise handwriting. "Jim, your ability to command a Star Ship is outstanding; your resistance to Leonard's hypo obsession remarkable...but your Potions skills leave much to be desired."

The reply was so unexpected that both Kirk and McCoy simply stared at the deceptively impassive Vulcan for a few moments, before breaking down completely and giving into a laughter that had been suppressed by the many worries of being in a new universe. Spock, by contrast, had a vague air of triumph as he returned to his work, and they could not help but feel that their normally stoic First Officer had been planning for that comment to cheer them up.

A short while ago they would never have believed it possible, but he had succeeded.