Assumptions Chapter 4

Numb

I pushed back my thoughts and feelings of inferiority and walked back into the showroom. After assuring Esme that I was fine, we were led into a conference room where I had to make the final decisions. I had no idea that there would be so many things to consider just about the casket alone. First I had to decide between wood and metal, and from there it was what type of wood. Then there was dealing with the interior lining; it was all so overwhelming but I just went with the light oak with an almond colored sating lining. Esme and Rose assured me that I'd made the perfect choice.

"Ok, now that we have that settled, Ms. Swan, I assume that you will be fine with Reverend Webber officiating." It went on and on like that for another hour before we were able to leave. We had everything set and the funeral director would get word out on the date and time we'd decided on for the service.

As soon as we were outside I turned to Esme, "Please tell me that there is a bar in this town that's open right now because I really need a drink."

"Sorry Bella, the only bar in town doesn't open until five."

I sighed and grabbed my temples, "Right. Where to next?"

"The florist."

"Lead the way." We walked towards the other end of Main Street to the only flower shop in town.

"They're very good at what they do, Bella, we should show you the pictures of how amazing the flowers were for Rose and Emmett's wedding."

"They were great but not as great as the ones for Edward and Tanya's. We have to show her those pictures too. Where are they?"

"In storage," Esme sighed, "Edward told me to destroy them but I refused. Someday he might change his mind." It surprised me that Edward was married. I hadn't seen any sign that he lived with anyone when he took care of the cut on my face, nor did he tell anyone that he was leaving to drive me home. But I guess I wasn't paying that close attention to him.

"I don't think he will, ma," Rose shook her head and we all fell into silence for the remainder of the short walk.

As soon as we walked in, this lady who was about the same age as Esme attacked me and tried to hug the life out of me while she sobbed about how unfair it was that Charlie was gone. Esme and Rose finally pried the woman off me and we got down to business. It was easier to order the flowers as all she really needed to know was how much I wanted to spend on the arrangement. When I gave her the figure she sat in shock for a moment.

"That's more than we paid for the flowers for both weddings," Rose said in awe. Yeah, well, I made really good money as an author, and it was becoming more evident that the people in this town needed the best memorial service that I could put together for them to say goodbye to Charlie.

After we were done with the flowers I asked about caterers in town. Esme told me that Mrs. Webber and the Ladies Auxiliary at her husband's church had volunteered to take care of it. She even offered to hold the reception at her house. That was a relief, I really didn't want to deal with getting the lodge to let us have it there.

"I really need to stop at the market to pick up something to make for dinner and for meals for the next few days. Charlie's fridge is practically empty."

"That's fine. I need a few things myself. But don't you worry about tonight; you are having dinner with us tonight."

"Oh, I don't…"

"It's an order, not an invitation."

"Yes, Ma'am." I replied with a smile that matched hers.

"Now that that is settled, is there anything you don't eat?"

"Not really. Just cinnamon and coconut. I can't even stand the smell of them."

The stop at the market took longer than I expected it to as we were stopped by person after person wanting to offer their condolences. That and I took some time perusing the limited liquor department looking for something to get me through the night.

Finally we were on our way to Esme's house, after having made a brief stop at Charlie's to drop off my groceries. I was shooed away from the back of the SUV when I tried to help them carry the groceries in. I followed them through the house and Rose poured me a glass of wine before telling me to go sit outside on the patio while they got everything put away. It was cloudy but not raining so it had been decided that we were going to grill out. I was actually looking forward to a hamburger made on a grill. It had been years since I had been to a BBQ.

I took a seat at the table next to Edward who was watching Emmett pushing Bree on her swing set.

"Are you ok?" Carlisle asked me.

"Yeah. Fine." I sighed. I was completely tired of being asked that question. Carlisle nodded and then stood to walk back into the house. Edward didn't say anything to me, he just sat there watching his brother playing with Bree.

"He's great with her," I commented trying to start a conversation.

"Yeah."

"Thanks again for your help last night. I'm sorry if I was bitchy. It's been a long couple of days."

"It was no problem, Bella. And I did it out of respect for Charlie, not you."

Ok. That was enough trying to make nice with him. I just sat back and sipped on my beer until Carlisle came out carrying a plate of burgers and went to start the grill.

"I heard you ran into a lot of well-wishers today." Carlisle said with a smile as he lit the grill.

"OH my, I didn't think that we were ever going to get her out of the store," Esme laughed as she walked out and placed a fruit salad on the table."

"Just think how much worse it would have been if they knew that you are also Marie Dwyer. Edward can barely keep your books on the shelves," Rose said as she sat down next to me.

"That's exactly why I use a fake name. I like being able to go to the store or to Starbucks without being mobbed. Rowling will never be able to have true privacy again."

Rose bit her lip and hesitated before finally asking, "Do you mind if I ask how your new story is coming? I can't wait to read it."

"Ugh. It's not coming along very well. I kind of lost my mojo lately."

"Because of Charlie dying?" Esme inquired.

"No, it's been going on for months. Since my boyfriend, Jamie, admitted that he was cheating on me and broke up with me." Don't ask me why I was being so open and honest with these people. I didn't know them from Adam but for some reason I trusted that they weren't going to be running to the first tabloid they could contact with the information I was giving them.

"Wait," Edward finally looking at me, "Is this the same Jamie that I reassured that you were fine last night?"

"Yes. We're still friends. Or I guess we're back to being friends."

"I don't think that I could be friends with a guy that left me for someone else," Rose blurted out.

"It took time to forgive him but I've known him for too many years to not have him as a part of my life. He was my friend before we dated and has always been my confidant. And truth be told, they really love each and are perfect for each other." I went on to tell them about the twisted friendship that we'd three of us had formed.

"I can't believe you trust him to be in your home while you're gone. There is no way that I'd be that trusting." I just shrugged at Edward's comment and continued to drink my wine.

A few hours later Emmett had to leave to get to work and Bree was falling asleep in her mother's arms, so I stood up to go. But Esme implored me to stay, volunteering Edward to drive me home like Emmett had the night before. I thanked her for dinner but told her that I was quite tired from not getting enough sleep the night before and followed Emmett and Rose out to their cars.

After I finally got the key to let me into Charlie's house I grabbed the bottle of Patron that I'd bought and started to wander through the house. My bedroom upstairs was completely untouched from the last time that I had been here to visit him. It was a little eerie, to be honest. I avoided Charlie's room. I wasn't ready to go there yet. Before I knew it I was in the garage. I walked over to the truck that sat there and just stood there staring at it for the longest time. It was completely what I had been looking to get when I was learning to drive. Not that I didn't love my car that Phil bought me, but this kind of truck had character and history. I sat thinking about all the stories this truck could tell. I finally had the courage to open the door and climb in. That's when his voice startled me, "Don't you know you're not supposed to drink and drive?"

I looked at the door to see Edward standing there watching me, "For your information, I wasn't going to drive it. I was just admiring it. He really bought it for me?"

"Yes."

"I wish he would have told me about it. I just don't get it. Why would he buy it for me and then tell me…never mind. It doesn't really matter?"

"It doesn't?"

"It doesn't matter and neither do I. I never did," I said with tears streaming down my face. "I don't understand why he couldn't …but…" I slurred out.

"But what?" Edward implored.

I grabbed the bottle of tequila and took a swig before offering it Edward, who accepted the drink, "It's not important now. What is important is there is almost half a bottle of tequila here that needs to get drunk."

"I think you're drunk."

"No I'm not asshole. I never get drunk. I'm numb. And damn it if it doesn't feel so fucking good."

"You swear a lot when your drunk."

"I said I wasn't drunk you fucktard and if you keep it up, I'll be a bitch and refuse to share with you."

"We wouldn't want that would we?"

"Nope. We sure wouldn't."

We went back into the house and flopped down on the couch before taking turns with the tequila and talking about random things. It was late again before the booze was gone and Edward stood and announced that he had to leave.

"I see how you are. You show up, drink my tequila, and run off when it's all gone," I joked.

"I really just came to see if you were alright."

"You were thinking about me? I thought you hated me."

"I don't hate you. I just hate some of the shit you pulled on Charlie."

"I don't know what you mean and I am too drunk for this conversation."

"I thought you never got drunk?"

I flipped him off causing him to laugh at me. I stretched out on the couch and asked, "How are you getting home? Should I call Emmett to come get you? Or your mother? They have no problem volunteering you to play taxi."

"I'll get home the same way that I got here, by walking."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive. Good night Bella." All I could do was nod as he walked away. After he was gone I forced myself to get up and grab some sheets out of the closet and the comforter and pillows off my bed upstairs to myself a bed on the sofa. I passed out as soon as I fell onto the couch.

I woke the next morning with a headache from hell and the realization that, along with Edward, I'd pounded back a lot more alcohol than I was used to. I grabbed my phone and noticed that I had several missed calls that I needed to return before I went about my day. But first, I needed a cup of coffee and a shower.

It was after noon when I climbed into the truck and started it. The deafening roar was doing nothing good for my headache but I had to get out of the house and there was one place that I needed to go.

A/N:

Ok. Sweetpea123 does an awesome job betaing this but I made some big changes after I got it back so all errors and mistakes are mine. I will send a teaser with review replies unless you tell me that you don't want one. Or you review as a guest. I can't reply to those. I love you all and thank you for sticking with me.