A/N: This chap's a little different... you'll see. Spoilers for 11x21.
The first thing he noticed, was the quiet. He closed his eyes. Sucked in cool air. The world disappeared, for a moment.
He tried to retrieve his last memory.
Hey. Eyes on me. You stay not dead okay? It's a beautiful day to save lives, right? So you stay not dead.
Was he dead? He wasn't sure. He ran his hands over his chest, as if to check. His chest moved and breath flowed through him easily, much easier than... before. But... he didn't feel dead. Maybe he wasn't. Yet.
That man... do you know him?
That's Derek. He's my friend.
Ah.
Birds chirped, and he raised his head to the sky. Morning mist lightly coated the ground and decorated the tree branches. The wooden boards creaked under him when he took a step. Derek sighed. He was at the Lake.
xxx
He bent down and picked up the fishing rod. It was peaceful here. Quiet. Somehow the pressures of the world had fallen away. He tied the lure on and cast into the water.
"Derek!"
He pulled the rod gently, feeling the lure shimmy through the water to mimic the movement of prey. The water was so calm and the light just soft enough to see the line cut through the shiny surface.
"Derek!"
This time he heard the call. That voice. He hadn't heard that voice... since- "Dad?" His head snapped up. He searched the horizon for the source. "Dad!"
"Derek!"
A couple hundred yards along the curve of the shore, a man in hip waders walked toward him. Derek wiped his eyes. Was it really him...? It couldn't... Could it? He reeled in, dropped the rod and jogged off the dock. It only took a few yards to know it was him.
His father's grin was megawatt. Sun-creased wrinkles stretched as he waved. Derek didn't believe it. But then he did, he could. His father was here.
Derek stopped about ten feet away. He just... couldn't move closer. "What are you doing here?" he asked.
"Waiting."
"For what?"
His father sighed, and tilted his head slightly. "For you."
"Me?"
"Mm-hmm."
Derek blinked, realizing what it meant. "Oh." So he wasn't dead. But he might be... soon. A wave hit him. Meredith. His kids. His mom and sisters. It was such a strange sensation... this separation. To know that he was gone, in all sense of the word, and yet... he was still here with no pain and no worries.
His father saw the brief flash across his features. "I know. You don't want to leave them," he said.
"It's just... I figured it out," Derek replied. "I figured out what I want, and now-" Now it was gone.
His father nodded.
"But it is good too see you," said Derek. "I missed you."
"Mm-mm," his father said in a way that said I missed you too. "I never left. I watched over you, you know."
"Mom said that."
"You remember when you and Mark ran away to Coney Island?"
"You saw that?"
"Mm, Amy followed you."
"I don't know how she got on the train..."
His father shrugged. "She was small and fast. And smart."
"Yeah," Derek smiled at the thought.
"You were gonna run away, become carnies."
Derek laughed. "Yeah, but then Amy found us. We couldn't take her with us."
"Who do you think gave her the idea to follow you?"
"What? How did you tell her?"
"Just a whisper," he said. "She's quite susceptible."
"Mm. And then I had to take her home."
His dad nodded. "You protected her. You made her feel safe. Like that family, that girl. You saved them."
"They're alright?"
His father nodded.
"Good." Derek hugged himself. It was agonizing not being able to touch him. To embrace his father fully and completely. To feel his love and and safety all around him.
"Relax, breathe."
Derek closed his eyes, let out a breath. And then he was closer. About three feet away now. But still- "I'm not finished, Dad. I just... I'm not supposed to go like this." He rubbed his chest, feeling a twinge in his heart. Meredith needed him. His kids and Amy needed him. He promised 110. A lifetime.
His dad turned and sat on a large gray rock. "I know. But you can still be there, in a way."
"You whisper in my ear too?" Derek asked, sitting on another rock beside him.
"Sometimes."
"Meredith." Derek said.
"I agreed with your mother. She's the one."
"Mm."
He sat with his father, watching the sun rise over the mist. Watching, and waiting...
xxx
He wasn't aware when his father left, just that he had gone... Derek knew he would be back when it was time. He cast his line over the sparkling lake. It plopped with a 'splash'. Idly, he tugged the line, hoping for a bite.
The call to not get a head C.T. was a bad call.
"Meredith?" he fumbled with the rod, madly reeling it in. He could hear her, but couldn't see...
We're not a trauma center. We're a teaching hospital.
You did the best you could.
Beep... beep. Beep.
Derek... Oh Derek.
"Meredith." He saw her now, though she was looking past him, unaware of his presence. "I... I'm sorry."
"You weren't supposed to- I just got you back. I got you back, Derek and then..."
"I know. I wish- I didn't see it coming, Meredith. The truck just-"
"-You can't go, Derek. You can't. We were happy. We were finally... there. Finally us. The happy ever after part, remember?"
"I know."
"You have to wake up. The kids need you. I need you... I can't- Derek, I can't-" Tears streamed down her face. He longed to wipe them away. To pull her face in his hands and kiss it better.
"I'm sorry," he said.
"Please, if there's a God out there... wake up. Please wake up"
"Meredith."
"I love you, I love you so much."
"I love you too, Meredith," he said, reaching weakly for her, but unable to feel anything solid.
"Please."
"Meredith, I-" But she was gone.
xxx
Birds chirped, fish jumped. Derek swung his legs on the dock. He closed his eyes, and felt the soft breeze. He didn't want to go, but he was being pulled slowly into... something.
Beep.
Beep.
Something felt different. Derek put the rod down and turned to stare at the crusty bank.
We're gonna begin now. You can sit next to him.
Beep...
Beep...
Meredith was back. He sucked in a breath, seeing her desolate figure, tilted face dull and stood up and walked toward her, as close as he dared. The thought of being dead, of dying, leaving her a widow felt... so wrong.
Beep...
Beep...
Derek knew what was happening. It was time.
"Derek," his father softly announced his presence.
Derek didn't acknowledge him. He wasn't ready. He wasn't ready to leave her. It wasn't fair. It wasn't right. It didn't make sense. She didn't deserve it.
He stood still unable to bring himself to speak. What could he say? What could he possibly say to make this better?
"Wait," she said.
Ma'am?
"Just wait!" she growled. "Derek," she pleaded, and looked up, her teary gaze meeting his for the first time. "Derek."
He reached, found his fingers gracing the fragile skin of her cheek, his thumb catching a warm tear out the corner of her eye.
His life- Their life flashed before him...
So, what's your story?
I don't have a story. I'm just a girl in a bar.
I'm just a guy in a bar.
Want to go again?
I love you, Meredith Grey.
And I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
You're the love of my life. I can't leave you.
You were like coming up for fresh air. It's like I was drowning, and you saved me.
I'm in love with you. I've been in love with you forever.
So, um, goodbye. Um...
Derek.
Derek. Right. Meredith.
Meredith.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm. Nice meeting you.
Bye, Derek.
He caressed down her shoulder, her arm, her wrist. He turned her hand over in his and found he couldn't let go. "I can't leave her," he gulped. "Everyone always leaves her. I c-can't."
His father merely stepped closer to him. There was nothing to say. This life was coming to an end. It was inevitable. But there was another life for him... beyond...This. He just hadn't realized it.
Meredith squeezed his hand, leaned against his chest as he breathed. She tenderly stroked his cheek. "Derek. It's okay."
It wasn't okay. Not at all. But the pull behind him was strong. And... he did know it was okay. Like he knew the anatomy of the brain, or the location of every freckle on her body...
It was okay, actually.
His grip loosened, just a little.
"You go," she said, like she told him on the mornings he had to work and she didn't. "We'll be fine." Fine, as in not-fine, as in disaster, considering what was planted in her womb right now.
But... fine nonetheless.
Fine, as in... he knew her strength, the resiliency that coursed through her blood, pumped through her heart. Fine, as in... he trusted her.
Are you ready?
"No. But go ahead."
"I haven't left," he told her as his last earthly breath left him. "I'll still be here, waiting for you."
Her hand lingered on his chest a moment longer, before she faded.
Then he fell into his father's arms for the first time in decades. The lake disappeared, the dock and the mist.
He was home.
xxx
Sometime later, though it wasn't really time exactly... a day was like a second, and yet it was also a year... Some eternal instant later... Derek found himself on a beach, waving to the love of his life.
"Derek?"