Chapter 5: Hope In Home
The release papers for Jughead's okay to leave the hospital went through. FP awoke bright and early to head to the hotel's service desk. He explained to the Hotel Clerk that he's checking out of their hotel room. Alice packed her suitcase while FP's handling things down at the hotel's desk. She couldn't believe they were finally allowed to go back home. It started to feel so surreal that it was finally happening. Jughead's finally out of coma and the only issue with that is Jughead doesn't remember them. She hoped that FP wouldn't get too emotionally attached to the idea of Jughead's memory coming back. She knew her husband. This was going to break him even if he won't admit it will.
She went into the walking closet, starting pulling shirts, blouses, cardgains off their hangers. Draping them over her left arm and going to the other side of the closet to grab some more clothes before heading over to the suitcase. She plopped them onto the bed next to the luggage, folded them into a nicely done pile. Next she grabbed them one-by-one, placing the clothes into the case, zipped it up and looked up. It was almost time to pick up Jughead from the hospital. Part of her was excited that he was coming home with them. She wanted to get to know Jughead again. The first time she didn't really bother. Now the boy doesn't even remember her to start off.
Maybe it will be a clean slate for everybody.
The door opened suddenly, FP's head poked on in. He had a nervous smile on his face, a nice blue t-shirt and black jeans. Alice watched as he walked in, kissing her on the nape causing her to giggle.
"Are you all packed?" He asked, withdrawing his lips and wrapped his arms around her midsection.
"Almost." She said, turning her head and planted a peck on the man's lips. "Just finishing up here."
When they finally arrived at the hospital. FP was eager to see Jughead. Alice told everyone that Jughead was coming home with them to Riverdale. Betty said her goodbyes to her mother and Jughead. Polly went back home with Juniper and Dagwood.
Alice and FP headed up to Jughead's floor on the elevator. FP released a nervous laugh before the doors opened again. They went up to Jughead's hospital room and saw Nurse Jade helping the man with raven black hair into a wheelchair. Alice knocked on the door with her knuckles. FP stood next to her, arm draped around her waist. Jughead's eyes moved toward the sound. He smiled faintly when he saw FP and Alice standing in the doorway.
"Ready to go?" They asked Jughead.
Jughead's nurse rolled him over to them. He nodded, sending a thankful smile to his nurse. FP helped carry his belongings. Jughead's dressed in regular clothes. Apparently FP went to the store and bought some clothes for him to wear last night. FP's smile lit up his face when he saw Jughead wearing his old "S" T-shirt. When he was packing he found it in the suitcase… Apparently Jughead left it there.
"I guess." He said, sounding kinda unsure.
They made it back to the elevator. After spending five floors down in the elevator it opened. Alice grabbed the handles, pushing Jughead in his wheelchair. While FP quickly ran to the car. Alice kept an eye on the young man as they waited for FP to pull up to the hospital drop-off. Eventually Alice and Jughead saw that FP returned. Alice supported his body while FP lifted the boy into the backseat. Jughead shot him a thankful smile before the backdoor closed. FP went around the back, opening the cab of his truck, bending down. He picked up the luggages, pushing them further in. Then he shut the cab and hopped into his driver seat.
Alice looked back at Jughead who seemed nervous. Alice caught on and smiled kindly," It will be okay. Riverdale is a great place. You'll love it."
FP agreed." She's right. Alice and I have some friends there that will help get your stuff from the apartment over to Riverdale."
"Uh, thanks."
FP noticed that Jughead no longer wanted to talk, pulled the brake into drive and back out of the spot. He calmed his nerves as he drove out of the parking lot letting the hospital fade out their view. It was going to be a long drive. He knew that Jughead wasn't comfortable with them yet. It hurt but he understood. Jughead didn't know who they were. He might be someone to tell but to him they were just strangers.
—xxx—
Six straight hours in a moving vehicle it finally made it to a stop at their destination. Jughead took in the new setting through rolled down windows as the wind flopped his hair around. His eyes laid on the welcome to: Riverdale town of PEP! There's something about this town that made his stomach flutter. FP watched as Jughead looked out the rolled down window. His heart felt lighter now that they were back home.
He exited his truck, helping Jughead back into the wheelchair. Once settled in Alice wheeled him until they came to a complete stop. Jughead's eyes widened at the house in front of him. It was a huge single-family home. FP helped fit the chair through the walkway. He asked where he was supposed to sleep. FP offered to show him around. 20 minutes later after the house tour was over they finally stopped by a room marked with an "J" in the middle of the door.
"Who's room is this?" Jughead pointed at the door.
FP scratched his neck." Uh… that was my son's old room before he moved out for college."
It felt strange to talk in the past like Jughead had passed. But he was very much alive, sitting in a wheelchair. He was alive in their memory. Even if he didn't recall them other than strangers.
"Oh." Then a smile left his lips.
Jughead opened the door, instantly hit with some déjà vu kind of feeling. He felt like he's been there… in this room before. He couldn't just figure it out quite yet. As he entered further inside the stronger the feeling had become. The bed was made with a blue comforter, two decorative pillows and one more "J" letter near the bedside table on its right. Pictures of the scenery pinned in photo frames on the walls. He saw one redhead-boy and next to him was a little black raven unruly hair accompanied by a crown beanie on top of his head.
A faint smile hit his lips as he stared at the photograph. "He's got good taste." Not noticing that FP went silent.
FP didn't say a word just kept watching Jughead like he was stuck in memory. Jughead didn't realize that he's still that boy. They still got the same taste. He had to blink back the emotion in his eyes. He couldn't fall apart, not in front of Jug.
Jughead turned away from what he's looking at and noticed the look on his new caretaker's face. Again FP didn't seem like he's okay. Something is bothering him and Jughead wanted to know what that is.
"Are you okay, man?"
FP blinked out of memory, quickly nodding his head. "Yeah. I'm okay."
"Okaay." Jughead said disbelievingly, clearly not believing him.
"I'll be back. You can get settled in." Jughead looked back seeing FP racing out of the room. He's clearly lying to him about being okay.
He had to get out of there. It was too much right now. He sprinted out of the room, his breathing quickened as he got farther, farther away from Jughead. His eyes fought at the storm emotions starting a war inside.
When Alice found him she just knew. FP had cracked. She pulled him in her arms, stroking his head as he laid on her lap. He thought he could do it. Maybe Dr. Spencer had been right. It did hurt having him around. Jughead didn't remember him. He was already dealing with a lot before the memory loss. Gladys ruined his life by one fucking mistake she made. She let him believe that Jughead was actually his. He spent 23 years loving that boy as his own.
"It's too hard." He whispered brokenly, tears cascading down the sides of his cheeks and into Alice's bare leg. "I thought I could do it… but when he asked who's room he's staying in.. I-I I felt my heart get stomped on. I told Jughead it was my son's old room. He's Jughead… my son not by blood but by love. It hurts...Allie. He kept asking if I was okay. I told him y-yes - - I'm not though! Far from it!"
Alice's hand massages circles into his back." I know, Jonesy. I know it hurts. The doctor told us it was going to be this way. We are stuck like this… FP. He's still with us… I know it's hard but we can do this."
"Th-this isn't fair!" He cried unable to hold back any longer. "He shouldn't have memory loss! It's all because of that asshole!"
"Don't forget what he said. He told us it could be temporary and --"
"He also said it could be long term memory loss, Alice! I can't hold onto a maybe or false hope. I need concrete evidence he's going to start remembering."
Alice stroked his head." You can't guarantee anything, FP. You just have to think positively."
"Screw this." FP lifted his head," I need to get out of here." He said, getting his coat on and retrieving his keys.
"Wait! FP, where are you going?"
FP took a step back from the door and took a breath." I just need a break. I'll be back soon." He left, closing the door and leaving Alice worried about her husband.
He might never be the same again, If Jughead doesn't remember anything, FP's going to blame himself. She just knew how much faith he had in himself. It would kill FP if Jughead never remembered who he is. That man raised, made sure that Jughead had everything, better education than he had. His son finished high school, graduated college, wrote books all because he wanted better for him. She knew Forsythe Sr really messed FP up. That man drank, hurt his wife and kid. He never wanted to be like that man. And he wasn't. Sure his father apologized FP forgave him. She didn't know why he did such a thing. She didn't like the man. He hurt her husband horribly and she couldn't forgive him for that.
FP's heart is big and once you earn his trust you're in for life. It is also barriered by thick cement concrete walls to keep safe. He had walls for reasons. And those being distrust, lies, abuse and no love. She took a jackhammer to that cemented wall for years to get it a tiny crack down the middle. She knows trust doesn't come easy for FP it never has and never will. The same goes for breaking, betraying his trust, once you do it will… will…. never be the same. She found this out the hard way. Leaving him for Hal was the biggest blow to his heart. And she knew it broke him.
It took years to repair their trust again. They had a motto made; no more secrets, no more lies. And they tried not hurting one another. Right now she wanted to make sure her husband is okay.
"Where's FP going?" She heard Jughead's voice, breaking her from her staring contest with the door.
She turned around, facing Jughead. He had heard yelling when he was in his guest room. He decided to see what was going on. Her eyes met him and sighed.
"I don't know, Jughead. I'm sure he will be back soon when he's better." She sniffled, wiping the corner of her eye with the sleeve of her shirt. "Why don't we order a pizza?" She suggested.
"Sounds good to me. I could eat." He's hungry, she thought. Jughead's appetite is still the same as when he was a growing teenage boy.
—xxx—
He parked his bike, unmounting himself, shed his motorcycle helmet from his head. He ran one hand through his hair and in the other held the helmet. He breathed out shakily. The atmosphere hit him hot on his face. Memories barreled into his mind. He remembered good and bad times on the Southside. He couldn't believe he was stepping foot in here again.
After quitting the serpents, starting a new chapter and career he left that all behind. His hand pulled on the door handle, smelling the aroma instantly. Cigarette smoke, oil, beer and whiskey snuck into his nostrils, pulling back into a memory. He blinked his eyes seeing younger serpents chatting by the arcade machine, placing bets on who will win. He recalled a time that his son did that. He pulled himself out of his head, walked through the bar, signaling the chatter to cease to exist.
Everybody knew about FP Jones' son's car accident. There had been rumors on what happened. There's always someone trying to stir the drama pot. Some people thought ghoulies made Jughead pay, others say Penny or Hiram; which isn't even possible, the man's dead. Well unless he's haunting Riverdale since death. FP wouldn't put it past the man. Hiram Lodge, formerly known as Luna, hated his son. He tried killing him, VIA Penny and her ghoulies once during sophomore year when Jughead selflessly sacrificed by hanging himself as prey to stop the big fight.
He pulled out a stool, plopped down, using his fingers signaling for the bartender's attention. He swallowed the guilt harshly down like poison. He ordered himself a whiskey in a glass. He swirled the liquid around in his hand, running his thumb along the rim. Once he raised the glass to his lips, inhaling the sweet whiskey smell there was no going back. He went to raise the whiskey glass to his lips, positioning his mouth to angle open.
"Jones?" The familiar voice knocked him into his commonsensical, removing the glass from his lips, letting it linger halfway from his lips and turned his head to see who he already knew it was.
"Sweet Pea."
The younger man's eyes lowered to the clear object in his hand, halfway from his lips. "Oh, this?" He caught the glance," I thought about it. Take it instead." The man with a snake inked tattoo printed on his neck did what he was told.
He took the glass from FP's hand, throwing it back into his mouth before the former king could change his king. He knew if FP started again, he may not stop. His girlfriend told him that she heard about Jughead's accident. Everybody in the small town knew of the disaster. It would be kinda hard not to know of it.
"What brought you here, FP?" There's the question he wanted to know himself. Why did he come? What brought him here? He almost threw away seven years of sobriety for one pitiful drink.
"You heard about my boy?"
"Well yeah, sir. It's the talk of town."
"Toni and Fangs too?"
"Yes, they know."
FP leaned his head forward," Good. He's in town."
Sweet's ears perked up." Jones? He's in town."
He hadn't seen Jughead in a while. He kinda fell off the face of the earth when finding about his girl and red cheating. He moved out of Riverdale after graduation, turning his head blindly on the people who still cared. The serpents' kinda fell apart without the younger Jones leadership. The ex-king looked at him, seeing his face.
"Yeah." He grunted," Staying with my queen and I."
"Can I see him?"
FP sighed, looking over the kind eyes of Jughead's friend. He knew if Jughead remembered him he would want his friends to be there. Toni Topaz was devastated when she called him asking if the rumor was true. He had to tell her it was in fact true. He listened to her cry, heart breaking for the young serpent. Toni was Jughead's first friend at South high, made sure he didn't fall into the crew.
"Uh, I'll ask him if he wants visitors. He just got back home and I'm sure exhausted." The young man nods, disappointment in his eyes.
He knew he lied. He just didn't have the heart or energy to tell them right now. He hoped this town rejogged the boy's memory of his past even a little bit would bring FP some hope. He couldn't settle for the what ifs. He needed his son to remember him. He didn't care what his blood said. Jughead was his son through and through birth certificate and he says so.
—xxx—
The pizza arrived and they settled on pepperoni. Alice picked a comedy movie; Instant Home on Amazon Prime Video while Jughead ate a slice of pizza. He laughed loudly when the man said something funny. What an idiot, he thought to himself, laughing his ass off. Alice didn't really watch the movie. Her mind was thinking about FP. He still wasn't home about an hour after he left. She started to worry. Why was he?
Jughead blinked his eyes with a strong feeling interrupting his movie. Suddenly a thought popped in his head. He saw an embroidered snake etched into a black leather jacket, heard laughter carry through his ears. Then the thought went away, leaving Jughead bemused on what just happened. What was that snake about? And why did it seem very important for him to remember? He began watching the screen again, popping popcorn into his mouth, belting into laughter.
"Good movie choice?"
"Oh… ha..haha thanks, Alice." Alice smiled at the laughing man.
She's glad he was enjoying himself. He spent days in a coma and in the hospital watching daytime television, usually soap operas like General Hospital or Days Of Our Lives. He was chowing down on the pizza just like she said he would.
"You sure love that pizza." She commented jokingly.
Jughead nodded, returning the smile." I've always loved pizza…" He paused, leaving Alice with hope"... I think at least. I'm not sure. The doctor said that my memory may come back. I guess when I hit my head on the steering wheel… I guess it was hard enough to cause me to lose my memory."
Alice reached for the remote and hit pause. "Were you scared… you know when you got hit by that car?"
"Last night I had a dream about it. I keep seeing the car… slamming into mine… me --my car hitting that light pole and it goes black. I've been having that dream for the last three nights."
"I've heard it's normal to have PTSD after car accidents." Jughead shot a puzzled look," Oh… you don't know what that is?" She found it humorlessly ironic that Jughead doesn't know what it meant. After all the trauma he's been through. It hurt her heart that he's suffering from some idiot's faults. "PTSD is called Post-traumatic-stress-disorder. It's a disorder in which a person has difficulty recovering after experiencing or witnessing a terrifying event."
"And that's what I'm suffering?" The raven haired questioned, beginning to understand what Alice explained to him.
"It could be, Jughead."
When the movie was almost over. Alice found herself looking over at Jughead, worrying about what he told her. That poor kid. He may not be a kid anymore but in her and his father's eyes; he is. Then the door swung open, revealing FP and he didn't look hurt or drunk. She let out a relieved sigh before getting up from the couch, pulling him into a bone-crushing embrace.
"You had me worried sick!" She said, smacking his chest when he leaned in to kiss her.
FP's heart hurt when he heard the worried tone in her voice. He didn't mean to make her worry. He just needed some time to take in all what happened. Being around a boy with your son's face didn't help. But he was Jughead though just a little different without any memories of them.
"I'm sorry. I-I just…" He paused when he spotted Jughead on the couch.
Alice followed his eyes and knew what he was trying to say." I know, baby." She caught a smile on his lips. "Why don't you finish the movie with us and maybe see if Jughead left you any pizza."
Jughead looked away from the tv, guiltily." Sorry I ate it all."
A fond memory strikes FP's heart and he smiled." It's okay. I'll just hit up something else." Jughead always ended up finishing off the pizza. So this only made him happy. He went to the kitchen, heated up some food and sat on the couch next to Alice and a seat away from Jughead.
Jughead turned his head, noticing FP's arm around Alice's neck. Then FP shifted his body, exposing something that made Jughead think. And there it was the leather jacket with the snake just like the memory showed. He listened closely to the man's laugh and suddenly it clicked him why FP's been acting so odd.
He clearly knew of this man. But why? Why is he remembering this man? He doesn't even know him. The answer was yelling at him inaudibly. It was right in front of him but somehow he's not able to connect the dots. He decided to refocus on the movie, fall into the comedic laughter like FP and Alice.
FP knew Jughead was staring at him. He looked back when Jughead's eyes went back to the screen. Has his son put two and two together yet, or is FP just imagining false hope. He noticed Jughead's laughter synced with the movie. Hope at home, he kept silently pleading to the blindsided angels.